What, you thought that the kiss would mean a happy ending and that's it? Little did you know, something crazy coming up soon!

Chapter 21

The kiss was long and rough, and unreal. His lips felt perfect against mine. Everything else disappeared around us. He had his hands on my face and his lips were pressed tightly against mine. When he was letting go, I pulled him back and kissed him again. This time it was so passionate that it almost knocked me out of me feet. Shivers went back and forth my whole body, and he literally had to hold me up.

He backed a little, still holding my face in his hands.

"You are so beautiful" he whispered. I shook my head.

"No.."

"But you are. Just once believe me and do not argue. Now, let's get into the car, I'll take you to your place."

I stood in my bathroom, trying to open the zipper of my dress. It was in the back, and I couldn't reach it. I cursed when I couldn't get it open. I saw Leland approaching me from the mirror.

"Here, let me." he said, put my hands down and opened the stupid zipper. I looked at him the whole time from the mirror when the dress fell to the floor. I turned to go get something else to put on. But he placed his hands on my waist and I put mine around his neck. He let his lips crash roughly on mine, again and again and again. We kissed our way into my bedroom...

After we had let our breath calm down, we just laid there for a while, looking at each other, no doubt thinking about the same thing, hoping this would not prove to be a mistake. But it was so easy to fall asleep next to him, his tattooed arms wrapped around me and him kissing my hair softly. How could it be a mistake?

It was still raining next morning, when I woke up. Leland was still there, sleeping calmly next to me, his hair messy. I pinched myself. Yes, he is still there.

I got out of the bed slowly and quietly. I went to the kitchen as silently as I could. I was about to take orange juice from the fridge, but I remembered the drink from last night, the one I almost drank. I took apple juice instead. I sat next to my window watching out of it. It was still raining, and the rain made me sad.

I had just spent the most horrible, and the best night of my life. In my bed there was someone I had tried to get in there for weeks and weeks. Now that he was there, it didn't seem right. Nothing felt right.

I took up my diary.

Everything is a blur, dear diary. Everything. And I can't breathe, and it hurts to move. I don't know how to get on with my life, am I prepared to share everything with someone? No, I am not. It might be different if things between us had gone smoothly from the beginning, but that was not the case. I am not ready, for anything. I never was. What is wrong with me? Shouldn't I be the happiest girl alive?

I think I need to take a break from all of this and trying to figure things out.

And that was what I did. I packed just a couple of shirts and sweatpants and decided to go to some smaller Hawaiian island. I would live with my savings just fine for three, four days, maybe a week. When I was ready, I looked into my bedroom. Leland was still sleeping, like a baby. I ripped a piece of paper from my diary and wrote a little message to him.

I'm sorry. I will be back soon, and I will call you in a few days. I promise. Please don't come after me, and don't worry about me. I will be fine.

Little did I know that a break, which I intended to last only a few days, meant that I might never come back.