Hello again! wassup? i hope all your vacations were great (if you got off vacation that is) and i hope your school isnt as messed up as mine is... anyway, i'm sorry it took me a bit to get this done, but i kinda ran dry for a little bit, but then my muse, Djari, decided to get off her own private vacation and start working again! Imagine that...

Sepik - thank you for your very honest review, it's good to know that someone isnt afraid to speak their mind constructively
Freckles-101 - well, I didnt have much internet access... I'm glad you liked the Hermiod chapter, i hoped it'd be funny!
Port-of-Sea - hehe, yeah, hermiod as a little kid! cool! yeah, the trip was pretty cool! thanks for asking!
McKayLover - france is pretty sweet too, but i cant speak french to save my life, hope you had fun! and thanks for the review!
Neko-Cat-Sama - heh, mckay and his ego, i swear, if he didnt win a stupidity battle, he'd cry in his quarters...
ShaedowCat - ah, ford will have his own - i guarentee it... as for the sgc, they will have their own story! glad you liked it!
Cpt. Ritter - a person of few words? lol, thats okay... i'm glad you thought it was "Nice..." hope this chapter rates fine too
MuseUrania - awww! thank you! i never thought i'd have an alien like Hermiod "down pat"! (hugs) yay!
fififolle - lol, yeah hermiod has a lot of smugness, i'm glad you felt it oozing out of the computer at you... hehe!
nightpheonix - good to be back! can you imagine mckay trying to explain "shit" to hermiod? a creature that out-egoes him?
Delka - roswell totally had it the whole time: beware the little aliens! they can stick it to the man! lol, thanks for the review!
flubber - wow, you left a massive review! thanks! have we seen any girl asgard yet? i would love to hear hermiod say "Asgard do not snark!"
Yarrharr - i know, school is crazy! college huh? fun fun fun... lol, glad to have ya laughing! one thing i do best is make ppl laugh! (i think)
AkimaDoll - aw, cmon, arabians are sooo much fun to ride! very smooth ride! thanks for the review!
stevewraith - hermiod has that quality, doesnt he? he doesnt mean to be funny, but is! i'm glad you found that in the chapter!
TangledPencils - ha, what boundaries? lol, i didnt know craziness knew such a thing! can you imagine jack reading hermiods guide? lol
nwfairy - hello newcomer and thanks for new coming! glad you think this fic is very funny! that makes me happy!
SilverRider - have we every seen asgard tongues? i mean they cant be very long, right? i wonder what color they are... thanks!
Stargate Junkie - just found it eh? lol, thanks for reading and reviewing it! i appreciate it! and welcome to the story!
001ElvenWarrior - nah, havent actually done an athosians guide yet, coming soon! yup, i had fun in poland! thanks for asking and reviewing!
Romulus Magnus - lol, he would only compliment novak when no one else was looking... its hermiod.. lol, thanks for reviewing!

YAY! Lots of reviews! Thank you all sooooo much! Thank you to all the people who asked about my trip too!

PLEASE READ:

About Stargate, before I forget, SciFi Channel is cancelling the show Stargate SG-1 saying that they've run dry. Unlike other shows, they still have a lot of episodes to show and SG-1 is still in production and the cast and crew still want to go on. If we act now, we can maybe get SciFi to rescind the cancellation or get Stargate SG-1 moved to another channel. Anything to keep the show alive! So, if you are a concerned fan, please go to www(dot)savestargatesg1(dot)com and sign the petition and/or send a fax or call someone at SciFi and tell them that they should rescind the cancellation!

Now that that's out of my system, here's chapter 21!

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Life in the Pegasus Galaxy was interesting. You met new people everyday and they might be as old as 10,000 years or as young as two. Being 10,000 years old yourself though, got to be kind of boring after a while until some new element entered your life.

Such had been life in Asuras. The Atlantians had come and discovered the Asurans' true form and reason for living. Now he was floating out in space. That's right, Niam, one of the higher members of the pseudo-Ancients was floating aimlessly through space. Maybe he'd reach Asuras if he was floating in the right direction…

Anyway, while his body may not have worked, Niam's brain still functioned. While he was floating around, a subspace transmission entered his mind. It wasn't from the Atlantians, but rather from the Wraith. That was surprising; he didn't know the Wraith sent off unofficial transmissions. Following the Wraith transmission was a trail of similar transmissions originating in Atlantis. Imagine that.

Niam was able to appreciate the human humor because in McKay's attempt to make Niam less hostile, McKay had tweaked his 'humor circuit,' at least that's what McKay said. It was… interesting to be able to understand something so unique to humans. Maybe some other time (he had endless amounts of it) he could ponder his makers' personas more fully. For now, for a lack of ideas, Niam started using his brain for something quite out-of-the-ordinary.

OOO

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy for Pseudo-Ancients

1. Don't piss off the Atlantians.

... a. If you find yourself looking at an awful lot of black, you know you have succeeded in disobeying this law.

... b. Looking at endless space is one of the many things Atlantians might do to you if you manage to dishonor their trust.

2. When impersonating another race, try to do it well.

... a. If the race you are impersonating was a kind and benevolent race, try not to be cold and harsh. It gives you away.

... b. Besides, acting the opposite of the race you're impersonating really gives off some bad vibes.

3. If you're in possession of more ZPMs than you need, give one to the Atlantians and get them out of your hair.

... a. Trust me; it'll be better off for you and your race.

4. A trusting nature only goes so far.

... a. Our brethren Fifth tried being kind to humans and he got stuck in a time-dilation field. I tried it and I got thrown out the back of a puddlejumper.

... b. In other words, a 50/50 foresight of other races is highly recommended.

... c. Don't trust humans blindly or you'll get punished. They're humans, you think about it.

5. When your leader makes a decision, agree with him.

... a. If you don't, you will probably get into some deep shit.

6. When sucking memories, try not to get side-tracked with their erotic hopes.

... a. It can be really embarrassing when the person realizes what you've been doing.

... b. You transmit this stuff to the rest of the population… how does that make you feel?

7. If you're going to change your programming, make a block so it can't be changed.

... a. I mean really, if you want to stay the same, make a block and then you'll make it safely to where you want to be.

... b. If you don't make a block, you'll probably end up in a really bad place.

Niam still felt terrible about betraying the team that had probably saved his life even after he helped Oberoth interrogate them. His hatred had been reprogrammed into him though. So after he floated home, maybe he would take over the High Council. And then… he would take over Atlantis! Mwahaha!

Clunk! He floated into some space junk.

Heh, Niam wouldn't be taking over anything anytime soon.

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REMEMBER: Go to savestargatesg1(dot)com to save our show!

Heh, dont forget to review either!