Bea was starting to panic. It had been over half an hour since the blonde fled the beach, and she still hadn't found her. She knew that the longer Allie was alone, the worse her panic attack would be, and the last thing she wanted was for her to suffer a setback. They had been coming to the beach as often as they could, mainly during the week when it was just the two of them. They didn't stay long, but Bea knew that the blonde needed slow and steady. She had been doing so well, and every time they came here she could tell that her girlfriend was starting to relax a little more. But that hard work had probably been undone in a matter of minutes.
And then there was her dad. Bea could tell how worried he was, and on top of that he was clearly feeling guilty. Not that any of it was his fault. It was no one's fault really, actually that wasn't true. The only person to blame for this was Allie's sick and twisted fucker of a father. Hatred wasn't a new feeling to Bea, she's spent years feeling that way about Harry. But this was different, more intense in a way. While she'd never met the blonde's father, that didn't stop the all-consuming rage that burned inside her when she thought about what he had put her beautiful girl through. While what Harry did had broken her in so many ways, Allie had come to mean so much to her in such a short period of time, and the thought of anyone hurting her in any way was far worse than anything her ex-husband ever did. Bea knew in that moment that she would put herself in harms way if it meant keeping both Debbie and Allie safe.
The promenade was a lot busier now, making the search a lot more difficult. Knowing Will was at work, Bea took a chance and headed for the lifeguard tower, hoping he would be in there. She was just approaching the door when it opened, and her boss walked out, radio in his hand. He could tell straight away that something was wrong, and his first thoughts went to the water. But seeing the fear in Bea's eyes he knew it was something closer to home this time. After quickly explaining what had happened, the redhead let out the breath she didn't realise she had been holding before following Will into the tower. She had been scanning the area through the binoculars for about ten minutes when there was a knock on the door, a member of the public wanting to report a woman in distress behind the Pavilion. Bea didn't even need to wait for the description to confirm, knowing in an instant that it would be her girlfriend. Dropping the binoculars down on the counter she leapt over the balustrade and raced out of the door, the only thing on her mind was getting to Allie as quickly as possible.
Allie's hands were clammy, but she couldn't stop shivering. Just when she thought she was starting to get her breathing under control another memory of that night flashed through her mind, causing her lungs to feel like they were filled with water. Her vision had cleared slightly, and she could no longer see the ocean, not that it seemed to be helping much right now. She could feel the grass under her legs, and hear the birds in the trees, but she still felt like she was suffocating. The air around her was getting thinner, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't breathe. Clawing at her throat, she threw her head back in a bid to try and clear her airway, not that it seemed to be helping at all. Just when she was about to lose herself to the memories, she heard the only voice that could ever ground her, belonging to the person she loved more than life itself. Her beautiful Bea.
As soon as the redhead laid eyes on Allie she broke into a run, weaving in and out of the beachgoers in a bid to reach her as soon as possible. Even from a few metres away she could see the blonde was shaking, something that had happened the first time she'd had a panic attack in front of Bea. Picking up speed she raced forward, reaching her girlfriend in a matter of seconds. Not wanting to startle the younger woman she called her name. Receiving no response Bea took a step closer, moving slightly so she was in the blonde's eyeline before calling her name again, a little louder this time. When Allie's head turned slightly and Bea saw the fear in them, she felt her heart breaking for the woman she loved. It was the same look she'd seen in other peoples, seconds before they were about to drowned. Taking a step closer she knelt down in front of her girlfriend and cupped her chin, concerned brown meeting frightened blue as she spoke again. "Allie…sweetheart, it's ok, you're safe"
As her vision started to clear a little more Allie saw the wild red curls that she loved running her fingers through, followed by worried brown eyes, and she knew everything was going to be ok. She was still finding it hard to breathe, but could feel herself starting to relax in Bea's presence. "B…Bea…" she gasped, desperately clinging onto the older woman.
Rubbing her back soothingly, Bea held on to her girlfriend. "Try and relax Alliecat, I've got you. You're safe with me, I'll never let anyone hurt you again I promise"
Feeling the tension start to leave the blonde's body, Bea went through the same process she did the day of their first coffee date in a bid to slow her breathing down a little. There were a few people hanging around, desperate to get a look at what was going on, much to the redhead's frustration. It happened a lot when she was working, large crowds often gathering around them as they tried to resuscitate someone they had pulled from the water. It annoyed her then, but knowing that it was her girl everyone was staring at made her blood boil. She was just about to voice her frustrations when her dad came racing over, quickly moving everyone on.
Once the blonde had calmed down a little the three of them made their way back to the promenade, Michael fussing over his daughter's girlfriend. While Allie wanted to be with Bea and her family, she knew she couldn't stay here. She also felt guilty for cutting their trip to the beach short, which is why she had suggested that she go back home. The redhead wasn't having any of it thought. It was clear that the younger woman was still on edge, and she suspected she would be for some time. Plus, Kaz was working at the shelter all day, and she didn't want Allie to be alone. Debbie would be perfectly fine spending the day with her parents, in fact she would probably prefer it that way, especially knowing how much they would spoil her. The younger woman tried to convince Bea to stay one more time, to no avail, and in the end Michael ended up stepping in, telling his daughter to go and get their things while he chatted to the blonde. It was clear both women were as stubborn as each other, and he feared they would be there all night if he didn't intervene. Plus, he really wanted a few minutes alone with Allie. Leaving her girlfriend sitting with her dad on one of the benches on the promenade Bea made her way down the ramp and over the sand, finding her mum and daughter chatting away as they built a pretty impressive sandcastle.
Waiting until her daughter was out of sight Michael turned to the blonde, resting his hand on her arm. "I'm so sorry Allie, I didn't realise you had a fear of the water. I'd have never suggested going in if I'd have known. I never meant to upset you in any way"
"It's not your fault Michael, it's mine, I should be able to control it by now. You did nothing wrong, and I'm sorry if I embarrassed you"
Moving his arm so it was draped over her shoulder, he pulled Allie into a hug. While he didn't know the details, he suspected that there was more to the near drowning than what Bea had told him. He usually left things like this to his wife, mainly due to never really knowing what to say. But there was something about Allie that made him want to step out of his comfort zone. He could see why his daughter was so taken with the younger woman, and the two of them were perfect together. "You didn't embarrass me Allie, not at all, I'm just glad you're safe. There's no pressure, and I understand if it's not something that you want to talk about, but if you ever do then I'm here. And so is Alice. You're a part of this family now, and we're here if you need us"
Allie was taken back my Michael's kindness, and as a result her eyes filled with tears again, something which clearly worried him. "Oh shit…I've done it again haven't I, put my bloody foot in it. Bea's going to kick my arse"
"No, it's ok, I…" she reassured him. "I've never really had a family, not one that wanted me around at least. It's just going to take a bit of getting used to that's all"
"You take all the time you need. My daughter isn't going anywhere, and neither are we" Michael replied, meaning every word. While he had been a little sceptical at first, he knew that the blonde was perfect for Bea.
The couple spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing in the garden. It was a warm day, yet despite that Allie made sure to stay as close to her girlfriend as possible. She knew she was being needy, but couldn't help it. Just being close to the redhead calmed her more than she ever thought possible, and right now that was exactly what she needed. It was just after five when the others arrived home, Debbie making a beeline for the blonde, wanting to make sure she was ok. Bea had used the excuse that Allie wasn't feeling well as the reason they were leaving the beach early, and she had made the redhead promise to look after her. She loved how close Debbie was to the blonde, and really hoped that things would work out between them. Other than her daughter, good things didn't happen to Bea, or at least that was how it felt. Until Allie came along that was, and suddenly she had everything she ever wanted in life and so much more.
The young brunette had been stuck to Allie like glue all night, to everyone's amusement. She had even stood up in her chair during dinner and cut the blonde's food up into smaller pieces, something Bea would do with her when she was unwell. Allie had played along with everything, going as far as to say that Debbie's care had made her feel so much better. She wasn't lying though, being here surrounded by Bea's family was exactly what she needed right now. Michael had apologised again, and while Allie appreciated his concern felt guilty that he still blamed himself. He had been so welcoming, and despite the thought of reliving that night making her feel physically sick, she felt like she owed it to him to try and explain why she had freaked out.
Later that night after Debbie had gone to bed Michael asked the blonde to join him for a drink out on the rear decking, wanting to make sure she really was ok after what happened earlier that afternoon. They sat in silence for a while, although neither of them felt uncomfortable in the others presence. Michael had a calmness about him, and although it was an unfamiliar situation for Allie, she was glad she got to spend some time alone with him. She wanted to explain why she'd freaked out at the beach earlier, but was almost certain he would hate her if she did. Although what worried her the most was that he would think she wasn't worthy of his daughter, even if it was true.
Taking a sip of her beer, she sat the bottle down on the floor before turning so she could see her girlfriend's dad better. Her hands were shaking and she was starting to sweat, but Allie knew that she had to be honest about one part of her past at least, the rest she would rather stay buried. "When I was a little kid I loved the water, and would swim any chance I got, either in the ocean or the pool. Not that my parents ever took me that often. As soon as I was old enough I would go alone, partly because I found swimming so relaxing, and partly to get away from my father. He never wanted a daughter, I'm not sure if he even wanted a son, but I do know that I was an inconvenience. Mum was great, for the first few years at least, but then something happened and she changed. She would lie in bed all day, either crying, shouting or sleeping, and I was pretty much left to fend for myself" Allie said, pausing to wipe the stray tear from her face. She didn't even know why she was crying, it wasn't like it was going to change anything.
She was really nervous now, knowing she was about to relive one of the darkest times in her life. Although she started to feel a little calmer when her girlfriend's dad took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Things got progressively worse over the years, to the point where the only time he spoke to me was to yell insults. It wasn't an ideal situation, but I could handle it, or so I thought. Things came to a head when I was fifteen, and he found out I had a girlfriend. Having a daughter was bad enough, but a lesbian daughter was too much. My memory of that night is a little sketchy, but there are parts of it I'll never forget. He…he drugged me, brought me to Sydney, took me out on a boat and threw me overboard. I'm not really sure what happened after that, but I woke up alone in the hospital a few days later". She spent the next ten minutes giving him a shortened version of what happened since then, including what happened to her parents, finding Kaz again and how she met Bea for the first time. Allie didn't go into too many details, but she made sure not to leave anything out. If she wasn't honest with him now and he found out further down the line, things might be awkward between them. She just hoped he wouldn't judge her too much.
Michael wasn't sure which emotion was the strongest, the pain he felt for the blonde and everything she had been through, or the hatred of a man he'd never met. Slipping an arm around Allie, he held her as she cried. There was no wonder she reacted the way she did on the waters edge, and she was so brave for even attempting to get in. While he hated that she had been through so much, in a twisted kind of way it might be a good thing. Michael knew that his daughter thought that she was unlovable, partly due to what Harry had repeatedly told her, and partly down to her thinking no one would want someone so broken. But both Bea and Allie knew what it was like to surrounded by evil, and even though the circumstances were different they had both witnessed humanity at it's the worst. As a result, they would both know and appreciate a good thing when they found it. After what Allie had just told him, he knew there was no way she would ever judge his daughter, something that had concerned him a little when he first found out about their relationship.
Leaning forward slightly he kissed the crown of her head, holding on to her a little bit tighter as he spoke. "I know it's not my place to say this, but I'm glad he's dead. I just wish Harry had met the same fate, the more bastards we can rid the world of the better. Thank you for telling me all that, I can't imagine it was an easy thing to do. But I want you to know that I would never judge you, and neither will Alice. You were put in a no-win situation, and did what was necessary to survive. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for Allie, just like my daughter. I'm so glad you and Bea found each other again, not only because it's the happiest she's ever been, but also because we gain a daughter. I know it's not the same, and that we can never replace your own parents, but you have a family now"
As a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes, Allie tried to get her head around the fact that not only had Michael not judged her, he'd welcomed her into the family without any questions asked. This is how her own father should have reacted when he found out that she liked girls, not drugged then tried to kill her. Yet this person she barely knew had stepped in and been the man she needed almost ten years ago. His words not only breaking her heart by reminding her how things should have been, but more importantly healing it again. "You're right, you could never replace my parents, and that's something I'm thankful for. You've done more for me in the past few days than my so-called father did in fifteen years, and I'm so grateful that you've welcomed me into your family. It means more to me than you could ever know. I love Bea with everything that I am, and I want to be the best version of myself…for her. She deserves the whole world over, and I'd give it to her in a heartbeat if I could. I just hope I'm enough for her"
"Oh Allie, you're more than enough. I've never seen Bea like this before, she's totally smitten. I can tell by the way she looks at you that she's found her person in life, so please don't doubt yourself. I know it can be hard at times, but anytime you want to talk you only have to pick up the phone. It doesn't matter what time, day or night. I've always told Bea that, and the same rule applies to you. We've had to put restrictions on young Debbie though as she took it far too literally and called us at four in the morning for a chat. Apparently, she couldn't sleep so just assumed the rest of the world would be awake too" Michael replied, a wide sile spreading over his face as he heard Allie's laughter. While the weekend hadn't exactly turned out how he had expected, he knew that his daughter had struck gold with the blonde.
It had been two days since Bea's parents had gone back to New Zealand, and Allie was surprised by how much she missed them. Especially Michael. She was trying not to get too attached, knowing that if things didn't work out the way she wanted them to with the redhead then walking away would be even harder. The thought of Bea not being in her life terrified her, and she hoped that for once things would work out the way she wanted them to. Allie could picture them together in years to come, and she knew that she would love her just as much, if not more. She wanted to be around to see Debbie grow, and to be there to help Bea guide and support her. But most of all, she just wanted to love and protect them both.
She had stayed at home the previous night, feeling a little guilty for neglecting her sister, not that Kaz had been around much either. She was going away for the weekend with Will, so had asked the younger blonde if she would be home so they could spend a bit of time together. While Allie had enjoyed catching up with her sister, she missed the Smith girls terribly. She'd spoken to Bea before going to sleep and had been exchanging messages throughout the course of the evening, something which Kaz took great pleasure in teasing her about. Not that she was any better when it came to Will.
Allie had spoken to her girlfriend on her way to work that morning, and while it had definitely cheered her up, she was still a little frustrated that she was rostered on while Bea had a day off. She loved spending time with both the redhead and her daughter, but it was nice to have some time alone together too. Allie was staying over that night, partly so she wasn't disturbed by Kaz and Will when they set off for the airport early the following morning, and partly because one night apart from the woman she loved was long enough. She had sent her girlfriend a few messages throughout the day, but they had all gone unanswered. As had the three phone calls. She was starting to worry, wondering if something had happened to the older woman, or if she had done something to upset or offend her. Opening up the messages from earlier that day, she read through them, finding nothing that could be taken the wrong way. Making her way into the meeting she could really do without, she tried to push all other thoughts to the back of her mind and focus on the task at hand. Her job.
That had proven to be more difficult than she thought, and as hard as she tried to hide the fact, she knew her boss had picked up on her distraction. Thankfully she hadn't called her on it, and after gathering her things Allie had fled to her office, closing the door behind her before dropping down into her chair. Grabbing her phone from the desk and finding no response from her girlfriend still, she tried calling her again, frustration setting in when it rang out before going to voicemail. Leaving yet another message, she let the redhead know she was worried and asked her to call her back. Ten minutes later her phone rang, and when she saw Bea's name flash up, felt a wave of relief wash over her. That relief was short-lived however, and when Franky's voice came down the line, and not the husky tones that she longed to hear, she knew something was wrong.
Franky was in the office when she got a call from Debbie's school saying that no one had arrived to pick her up. Bea had added her to the list of contacts for young girl a while ago, along with Liz, wanting to make sure they could always get a hold of someone if she was working. The tattooed brunette knew her friend wasn't working that day, so was surprised the school had contacted her. After trying and failing to get in contact with Red, she made her way over to the school, finding the young girl sitting in the office drawing a picture. As soon as she spotted Franky she leapt out of her seat, racing across the room before launching herself at the brunette.
"Franky…I'm so happy you're here…I didn't want to be here all night. Where's my mum?"
"She's not feeling well kiddo, so I'm going to take you to see Liz for a little while" Franky replied, managing to think on her feet. As they made their way back to the car Franky called Liz, asking if she could drop the young girl off with her while she went to check on Bea. Debbie was her number one, so something bad must have happened to cause her to be late like this, especially on her day off. Fifteen minutes later they were pulling up outside the salon, Debbie asking more questions as to why she wasn't going home. After getting her settled in one of the chairs Franky and Liz headed into the back room, the younger woman explaining as best as she could, what was going on.
Franky was worried, and although she really shouldn't, she flicked the siren and lights on, knowing it would reduce her journey time considerably. A short while later she came to a stop outside her friend's house, doing a quick check out front before knocking on the door. Receiving no answer, she let herself into the quiet house, listening for any sign of movement. After searching the ground floor, she headed up the stairs and towards the redhead's bedroom. Finding it empty she made her way along the hallway, checking the spare room and main bathroom before coming to a stop outside Debbie's room. Franky was just about to push the door open when she heard a sniffling sound coming from behind it. Pushing the door open slowly she scanned the room, finding Bea sitting on the floor by her daughters' bed. Her knees were up against her chest, her eyes red from crying, and there was what looked like a letter on the floor beside her.
The brunette didn't even need to read the letter to know who it was from, there was only one person who could break Bea like this. Harry fucking Smith. Even behind bars he still wouldn't leave her alone, let her live her life the way she deserved to live it. He was a monster, a waste of perfectly good oxygen. As a police officer Franky knew she shouldn't have these kinds of thoughts, but she'd be lying if she said that she didn't wish him dead. The redhead had been through so much, and just when she was starting to open up, let someone in, he comes along and tries to destroy her once again. Crossing the room, she took a seat beside her friend, wrapping an arm around her before reaching for the discarded piece of paper. She wasn't even two lines into the letter and she already wanted to kill the bastard, so could only begin to imaging how Bea must be feeling. Franky was just about to speak when the redhead's phone started to ring, and when she saw Allie's name flash up ion the screen was surprised when her friend let it go to voicemail. "Have you spoken to blondie today?"
"Yeah…this morning?"
Grabbing the phone from the floor Franky checked the call list, seeing that Allie had called the redhead four times in the past four hours, each one going unanswered. "You should talk to her, she'll be worried"
"I…I can't. I don't want her to see me like this, she deserves better. Harry's right, I'm nothing, and I always will be. I can't, won't drag her down with me" the redhead replied, a fresh wave of tears starting to fall. She loved Allie more than she ever thought possible, but she didn't deserve this. Just when Bea was starting believe that maybe she could put everything behind her and build a life with the blonde, Harry comes along with his carefully selected words and she's right back to being the broken woman she used to be. Allie was so full of life, and had such a bright future ahead of her. Bea would only hold her back, and despite not wanting to lose her, knew that if she really loved Allie, she had to let her go.
Wiping the tears from her eyes she turned to face her friend. While she was surprised to see Franky, she was grateful for the company. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but shouldn't you be at work?" she asked, noticing for the first time that the brunette was wearing her uniform.
"I was, but I got a call from Debbie's school…"
"Is she ok…why didn't they call me?"
"They tried, and she's fine. No one came to pick her up and they were a bit concerned. She's over at the salon with Liz at the minute, I told her you weren't feeling well"
Looking around the room, Bea's gaze fixed on the clock by her daughter's bed, not even realising how late it was. She had been out for a run that morning, wanting to get an early start on her training for the end of season lifeguard challenge. She'd finished fourth last season, something she was determined to improve on this year. Arriving back from her run she had grabbed the mail, planning on quickly checking through it before taking a shower. Said plan went out of the window the second she saw the Walford correctional centre stamp on one of the envelopes.
Bea knew she should have just ripped it up and tossed it into the trash, but before she realised what she was doing, she had opened the envelope and taken out the letter. It wasn't too late, but like a car crash you can't help but look at, she started to read it. As soon as her eyes scanned the words, she felt the effect of them. She hated that Harry could still get to her like this, but felt powerless against the viscous words and insults. Was he right when he said she was repulsive, unlovable? Allie said otherwise, but the good stuff was harder to believe.
It wasn't the first time she'd received a letter like this, and she knew it wouldn't be the last, no matter how many times she contacted the prison to complain. But this one was a little different from the others, Harry's words darker and more cutting than usual. He'd threatened her, as he so often did, but this time he'd directed those threats towards her daughter as well, something which terrified her. Debbie had seen and heard things that no kid should ever have to, and Bea felt guilty enough about that. But for Harry to threaten to come after her, take her away as soon as he got out of prison, made her blood run cold. The thought of him anywhere near her little girl made her feel sick, but in his eyes, she was fair game. Bea had taken his life from him, and as soon as he was released, he would take hers. Debbie.
Debbie, the only reason she'd kept fighting against Harry, flighting to stay alive. She swore to her little girl when she was born that she would always protect her, and she had tried, although maybe not hard enough. Her beautiful daughter, who in the midst of all the bad memories, she had forgotten to pick up. Harry was right, not only was she repulsive, worthless and unlovable, she was also a shit mother. Her forgetting to pick Deb up from school was proof enough of that. It didn't matter how hard she tried, she just kept on letting her little girl down. She was a mother with responsibilities, and should be putting Debbie's needs first, not wasting time feeling sorry for herself. Jumping up, she looked around she room, hoping to find the car keys that she'd discarded when she first came into her daughters' room. "I need to go and pick Debbie up from the salon"
"You need a shower first" the brunette threw back, standing up before nudging her friends shoulder playfully. "You stink" she added, tugging at the hem of Bea's running top.
"But…"
"No buts Red, shower first. The little grommet will be fine with Liz and Maxi for a little bit longer, plus she wouldn't want to get in the car with you smelling like that. Now are you going to go and shower, or do I need to drag you in there and scrub your back"
"Piss off Doyle" Bea replied, smiling for the first time since she read Harry's letter. Franky could be blunt, and so inappropriate at times, but she had been her rock through everything. She was a good friend, and Bea knew that no matter what, the tattooed brunette would always be there for her.
As soon as she heard the water running in her friend's en-suite Franky grabbed Red's phone, calling Allie and asking her to come over. While she could understand where Bea was coming from, having struggled with self-doubt for most of her life too, she needed the blonde. Novak was good for her, and the redhead was much stronger with her by her side. She'd been a little suspicious of the blonde's intentions in the beginning, but it was clear how much she loved Bea, and Debbie too for that matter. They were sickeningly cute together, and made the perfect little family. It made perfect sense that the redhead would try and put her walls back up, and Franky knew it was more out of a need keep Allie safe than anything, but they were stronger together. If she pushed the blonde away, not only would she be hurting them both, Harry would have won.
Turning the shower on, Bea stripped her clothes before stepping under the stream of water. Now that she was alone again every word, every insult in Harry's letter raced through her mind again like it was on a spin cycle. Useless, pathetic, ugly, worthless, every one dragging her deeper in towards the darkness she had hoped she'd escaped from. But she would never be free of him, she knew that now, and when he was eventually released from prison, she knew he would come for her. As the tears flowed down her cheeks, mingling with the running water she looked around, her eyes coming to rest on a razor on one of the small shelves. Reaching out, she grabbed the handle, turning it around a few times and admiring the blade. Slamming the edge of the plastic casing against the wall, she sighed in relief when it shattered, giving her access to what she really needed. Sliding down the tiled wall, she sat for a few seconds, her gaze shifting between the shiny blade and the soft skin on her inner thigh. She felt weak for even considering it, but knew from past experience it would help.
She wasn't sure why, but she knew that as soon as the sharp blade sliced through her skin, she would feel some of the pain and suffering escape her body. Or at least it had done the last time she'd been in this position. The first time she'd taken comfort in a razor blade was after Harry raped her. He'd been to the footy with his mates, and had come in drunk as usual, demanding to be fed. After eating, he'd retreated to the sofa, but not before instructing her to bring him another beer. Once he was sorted, she headed back into the kitchen to make a start on the dishes, knowing she would be on the receiving end of his fist if he came in and saw his dirty plate still on the side. The TV was on loud, so she didn't hear him call out for more beer. A few minutes later he came storming into the kitchen, slapped her around the face before dragging her across the room and throwing her face down onto the table. That was the first time he raped her.
He took something from her that night, something she thought she would never get back, until Allie came crashing into her life. The thought of anyone putting their hands on her body had terrified her after what he did, but with the blonde it was different. What she once feared, she now craved, Allie's touch healing her in a way she didn't think possible. But if Harry could threaten his own daughter, he'd think nothing of going after the blonde, if he ever found out about her. It wasn't a risk Bea was willing to take, despite even the thought of losing Allie ripping her heart to shreds. She loved her too much to put her at risk, and even though the blonde might not understand her reasoning, she'd never forgive herself if something happened to her. Turning the blade over in hand again, Bea moved it lower, a sob escaping her lips as she pressed it against her thigh. Before she had a chance to do any real damage, she heard Allie's voice, causing her to drop the blade instantly.
Allie was half way out of the door by the time Franky hung up, calling out to her boss to let her know she had a family emergency before running to her car. The brunette hadn't gone into any details, simply telling her that Bea wasn't in a good place after receiving a letter from Harry. Her first thought was getting there as quickly as possible, wrapping her arms around the woman she loved and never letting go. Her second thought was how she could erase Harry from Bea's life completely, without getting herself locked up. Even without knowing the extent of what he had said to her girlfriend, she felt her heart breaking for her. For once things seemed to be going her way as she managed to hit every green light on the way over to her girl's house, something she was extremely thankful for.
Pulling up on the driveway she jumped out of the car and ran to the door, a little concerned when she spotted the police car parked on the road. A million and one different scenarios were running through her head, but when Franky answered the door in her uniform the blonde released the breath that she didn't realise she was holding. She had worked herself up into a panic on the drive over, and as a result completely forgot about the tattooed brunette being a cop. "Where's Bea…is she ok? And Debbie…" she blurted out before Franky even had a chance to close the door.
"The grommet's with Liz, and Red's in the shower. She's been in there quite a while, and I'm pretty sure I heard her crying. I would've gone in to check on her, but she'd have kicked my arse"
"What happened?" Allie asked as she raced up the stairs and towards the redhead's room. She could feel the anger building, but right now being there for her girlfriend was her sole focus.
"That worthless fucking dickhead, that's what happened. He sent her another poisonous letter, got in her head again, made her feel like she isn't worth anything" the brunette replied, her voice cracking slightly as she bit down on her lip to stop the stray tear from falling. She loved Bea like a sister, and hated the thought of her hurting in any way. Especially when that piece of shit was the cause of it. She just hoped that Novak could get through to her, and that Red wouldn't shut her out.
Approaching the door to the en-suite, Allie paused for a few seconds, listening for any sign of movement from inside the room. She could hear the water running in the shower, but nothing else. Just as she was about to knock, she heard a loud sob, her heart breaking at the sound. Opening the door she called Bea's name, not wanting to startle her. Receiving no answer, she approached the shower enclosure. The glass was steamed up, but she could still make out the figure curled up on the floor in the corner. Handing her phone to Franky, she told her she wouldn't be long begore closing the bathroom door and grabbing a towel from the rail. Ignoring the fact that she was fully clothed Allie opened the enclosure door, stepping inside and turning the water off, soaking herself in the process. Spotting the piece of metal on the floor, she wrapped the towel around Bea as best as she could, before carefully picking up the blade and disposing of it. Moving back over to the redhead she pulled her to her feet and into her arms, making sure to keep her covered up in a bid to maintain her dignity.
It was a little tricky, and she nearly slipped on a couple of occasions, but after a few minutes the blonde managed to get them both out of the shower. Water pooled at their feet, most of it dripping from Allie's saturated clothing, not that she cared. She could feel Bea shaking in her arms, so called out to Franky and asked her to grab a few more towels as well as the redhead's robe that was hanging on the back of the bedroom door. Taking another towel from the brunette, she wrapped it around her girlfriend before telling her friend to leave the others on top of the cabinet. Franky had told her that she needed to get back to the station, but to call her if either of them needed anything. Thanking the other woman, she waited until she had left the room before turning her attention back to Bea. Brushing the wet curls from her face before lifting her chin so she could look into her eyes, seeing the pain in her chocolate orbs. Pulling her in closer, Allie kissed the top of her head before speaking. "I've got you, it's ok. Everything will be ok…I promise". Pulling back slightly, she glanced over at the blade sitting on the counter, before looking back at Bea. "Did you…are you hurt?" she asked, relieved wen the redhead shook her head.
The second their eyes locked Bea knew that she couldn't let the blonde go, and had been crazy to even consider it. That probably made her selfish, especially as she was worried Harry would try and hurt her if he ever found out about their relationship, but she needed her like she needed air. Burying her head in the crook of the younger woman's neck, she let the tears fall, feeling safe in her girlfriend's arms. Despite spending most of the day surrounded by a darkness that only Harry could bring, she couldn't help but feel hopeful.
Allie didn't even need to say anything, just one look from the younger woman told Bea exactly what she was thinking, and how she felt about her. As she felt Harry's word trickle from her mind, every single one of them replaced by a look, a touch, words of encouragement from the beautiful blonde, she felt guilty for ever doubting the strength of their relationship. She didn't have to be here picking Bea up off the floor, both literally and figuratively, but she was. In that moment the redhead realised just how much she not only wanted Allie, but also needed her. And so for the first time in her adult life she allowed someone to take care of her.
Twenty minutes later Allie had dried and dressed both herself and her girlfriend, the two of them sitting on the bed side by side. Once Bea had calmed down a little, she had retrieved the letter from the floor in her daughter's room before handing it over to the blonde. While she was embarrassed by it, she didn't want there to be any secrets between them, plus this was Allie would know exactly what she was getting into. Bea couldn't look at her girlfriend while she was reading the letter, afraid to see the look of disgust in her eyes. While she knew that Allie would disagree with everything that Harry said about her, the older woman was still struggling to believe that his words weren't true.
The blonde had tried, and failed to keep the tears at bay as she read the letter, Harry's words like a knife to her heart. How anyone could be so cruel to anyone was beyond her, but the fact that it was directed at her girlfriend made it even more painful to read. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Bea must be feeling right now, but needed her to know that what he said couldn't be any further from the truth. Screwing the piece of paper up, she threw it on the floor before turning to face the woman beside her. Allie could feel the nerves radiating off her girlfriend, and she hated seeing her like this. Slipping her arm around the older woman, she pulled her in so she was straddling her, her finger playing with a stray curl as she waited for Bea to look at her before speaking. "Not one word of what he said is true, and you're none of those things Bea. You're everything to Debbie, that little girl idolises you. You're everything to me too, and I love you so much. Harry knows he's lost, this is just a desperate attempt to try and claw back some control. He's the pathetic one. You're so much stronger than him, and you always will be. He's nothing"
"What if he comes for Debbie…comes for you? I'd never forgive myself if he hurt either of you. You've been through so much already Allie, being with me could get you hurt. I…" the redhead said, Allie's lips on hers stopping her from finishing her last sentence.
Allie had an idea where this conversation was going, and while it hurt that the redhead would try and push her away like that, she understood why. If the roles were reversed, she knew that she would do anything to protect the Smith girls, even if it meant breaking her own heart in the process. "There's nothing that Harry, or anyone else could ever do to me that would hurt more than losing you. I know we haven't been together that long, but you mean the world to me. I want everything with you Bea, both you and Debbie, and I've got no intention of going anywhere"
"But what if he comes for us, comes for you…"
"Then we'll deal with it together. He'll never hurt you again, I promise" the blonde replied, leaning forward and capturing Bea's lips in a loving kiss. She would die before she let anyone lay a hand on either of her girls, and swore in that moment that she would protect them, no matter what the cost.