Thanks so much for your sweet words, and of course for reading. Probably about 1 more chapter before volume II starts. I hope you'll join me on that one. You guys make my world go round!
I nursed a cup of coffee and sat in the La-Z-Boy, Ellie playing on the floor beside me, still frustrated with me for not playing with her. Polly kept offering to get me something, I denied any offers. John was upstairs getting ready. I would have to get ready soon, too… cigarette first.
I coughed with the first drag, mucusy and wet, the cough making my head throb and my throat hurt worse. John found me out on the balcony. He looked gorgeous. Hair pulled into a low ponytail, curly little strands loose by his ears framing his face, a tailored slim fit suit jacket over his button down with a skinny black tie.
"You clean up alright, gamin." I quirked an eyebrow at him.
He laughed at me and rolled his eyes, "you gonna go get ready?"
I nodded and extinguished my cigarette.
"My offer still stands, love. You don't have to come."
"We don't have to do anything, querido, we choose to." I rasped and got out of the chair and ran my fingertips across his back, feeling him shudder into my touch.
I looked halfway human in my suit, nothing compared to John. The sleeves just a touch too long, a scuff on one of the shoes that I didn't have the energy to try and buff out. Good enough. We all left for the church again. Second verse, same as the first. John kept checking on me, I kept telling him I was fine. He was distracting himself, pouring his nervous energy into caring for me. Annoying as I found the constant questioning, I let him. If he wasn't going to let me die in peace, at least I could act as a distraction to bring him some peace.
The service started with a prayer. I sat quietly holding John's hand, a tissue in my other hand, trying to keep my wheezing and sniffling quiet. John was somber through the service, picking at his nails, his tie, lint off his pants, bouncing his knee. Martha eulogized her father for the siblings and did a lovely job making the dead man not sound like a piece of shit. Ellie started to lose it by the end of the service and David removed her to the foyer. There was more praying, more talking, more singing, another prayer.
John and I exited to the foyer, he accepted condolences and introduced me to a few people. We migrated to the fellowship hall for the reception of cake and punch, because how else do you say, 'hooray, the old bastard's dead!'?
It had been a long service, lots of prayers and hymns, we were all ready to go home. He was in a mood from listening to more of his father's friends and colleagues give him fake condolences and act like they hadn't voted against people like John and me at every possible opportunity. He found me in a corner of the hall, waiting to be given orders to be helpful. His fists were balled, his jaw set, and he leaned against me for comfort.
"You okay?" I rubbed his back.
"I'm just tired of these southern motherfucking republicans." He grumbled quietly in my ear and rubbed his face, looking tired.
"Almost over."
"I know. I gotta clean up."
I started helping, taking discarded plates and throwing them in the trash.
"You can go sit." John reminded me as I balled up a plastic tablecloth.
"I'm fine." I threw the tablecloth away.
John bragged about me to an old woman, "Alexander came down with something from the trip and he's still kicking."
"Wow, little Jackie. How sweet. You know, I don't think it's true what they say about the queers, I've known you your whole life, and you turned into a fine man, all things considered, and this Alexander seems like a fine man, too. Just a shame you won't find a nice girl and give us any babies." She tried to be kind.
John pressed a tight smile, "plenty of other guys for nice girls, Ms. Lovetta."
"Your mother would be so proud of you. Working in the big city, happy. You seem happy, Jackie. Now, I know you and your father didn't see eye to eye, but he loved you."
"Thanks." He patted her on the shoulder and went to take out the trash.
He returned and took my elbow, eyes wide, "time to go."
I waved a goodbye to the old woman who was smiling at us.
In the car John burst out laughing, "oh, my god, 'the queers' did you hear that shit?"
"At least she was nice about it?"
"I guess. You feeling okay?" He cleared his throat.
"I'll live."
"Need anything before we go back to the house?"
I shook my head and coughed hard.
"God, that sounds bad. Be good to be home."
I agreed and napped on the ride and woke up on his shoulder, leaned across the center console.
"Sorry, I didn't-"
"You're fine, you kept hunching forward, so I just pulled you over on me. You poor thing, sound like you can barely catch your breath."
I wheezed and tried to cough to get a better breath. We started packing up our things, everyone scattered to their respective corners, Martha put Ellie down for a nap, David went home, Jem cloistered himself in his room, Harry to his video games. John gathered our toiletries from the bathroom, taking the package of dayquil, too. I shoved everything into my suitcase, wearing the outfit I'd travel in; sweatpants and his NASA hoodie, I don't give any fucks, it's the most comfortable article of clothing I've ever known. I curled up on the bed, hood up, in fetal position and prayed for death. John zipped his bag and snuggled up against me.
"You are the cutest, saddest human I've ever met," he started to pull my hood back, but I tightened the drawstrings, "see, that just confirms it!"
After a coughing fit, I pulled myself together and went downstairs for dinner with John and his family. An impressive stack of pizzas had been ordered. John helped himself to a few slices of cheese, I took a piece of supreme and another cup of coffee, my appetite evaded me. We sat around the table together, the siblings laughing and joking, even Jem's spirits seemed lifted.
"I wish you weren't going home so soon." Polly told John.
"You'll come visit before Christmas, and I'll see you next summer." He reassured her.
"Can we see Wicked?"
"Uh, duh, and Waitress, and Lion King."
Her eyes sparkled, "really?"
He nodded.
"You have such a nice brother, don't you?" Abuela asked her.
Polly grinned and nodded.
"When are you going to come visit me?" Abuela asked him.
"I don't know, won't be going anywhere for awhile after taking this much time off."
We finished our dinner and John spent time playing with Ellie before she went to bed, it was bittersweet to see how the little girl had warmed up to him. The kids all dispersed back to their rooms, abuela said her goodbyes to John and myself and went to bed. After Martha returned from putting Ellie down she joined us in the living room.
"Sad to see you go, brother." Martha sighed, leaning against him, looping her arm through his.
"Goodbye's the hardest part."
"We're still a pretty good team with these guys."
"Yup, always have been. You'll call me if you need anything, right?"
"Yeah, I'll call you."
"And you're sure about things with Polly?"
"I'm sure. It'll be easier with me and David living here."
"I don't know how you're doing it. I hate this fucking house." Anger seeped in his voice.
"Me too, but it's right for the kids. Get Harry to go to college, one gap year was enough, Jem needs to do the same. We'll stay until Polly's old enough, and hey, I'll get to take Ellie down to our creek."
"Damn that creek," John laughed, "almost killed us both."
"That and the snakes."
"And the snakes." He agreed.
"You guys about ready to go?"
"Yeah, we better, sure about taking us?"
"Of course, dummy, go say your goodbyes."
Harry appeared and elaborately high fived his brother, the sequence ending in a hug. He shook my hand, "you're pretty cool, Alexander. See ya soon."
"Thanks, Harry. Take care." I returned his smile.
Polly followed after Harry, tears in her eyes, she squeezed John tight, "I love you, Jack."
He kissed her head and rubbed her back, "I love you more, Polly girl, be good," he pulled away from her, wiped her tears and caressed her long, ropy braid, "no tears, no more. Be tough, you got this. You can always call me."
She nodded and let him go, surprising me with a tight hug, I wheezed and patted her back, "bye, Alexander, I really like you. I hope you stay." She sniffled.
"You're a good kid." She let me go.
Jem watched from the top of the stairs, "gonna say goodbye?" John asked.
He trudged down the stairs and hugged John awkwardly.
John embraced him, "I love you, kid."
"I love you, too." Jem whispered.
"Bye." I waved to him. Asshole.
"Later." He waved back.
"Alright, we're off." Martha handed me my backpack and John grabbed his and took both of our suitcases.
The airport was a blur, sounds and lights hurting my eyes, I was grateful to be able to board early and for the extra room first class had to offer. John ordered a hot tea with honey from the flight attendant, I got a coffee. He blew his nose into the cocktail napkin from his drink and leaned on my shoulder.
"You doing alright?" I asked him, brushing his hair away from my face.
"Yeah, my head really hurts, and there's this tickle in my throat that won't go away." He cleared his throat.
"Dammit, John, I told you not to kiss me or sleep in bed with me." I lay my head on his and closed my eyes.
"I know, but I love you too much, and you were so pathetic, I just wanted to make you feel better and having you around made me feel better." He snorted, raspy and mucusy.
"Just gotta make it home, then we can die."
"Dying sounds great." He agreed.
"How long have you been feeling shitty?"
"Since the funeral, really. Noticed the sore throat then."
"Jesus, John, see I told you." I tried my hardest to be annoyed with him, but was too worn out.
We halfway paid attention to the emergency instructions, drinks now cool enough to sip. The coffee restored a touch of my humanity. I was almost too out of it to feel anxious as the plane took off, and we were both asleep by cruising altitude.
Our flight attendant woke us when it was time to make our descent, my nap made me alert enough to be anxious. John looked worse, nose red, eyes watery, breathing from his mouth. The landing was rougher than our last flight and it made my stomach lurch. I tried to take deep breaths around my wheeze, but we survived to the ground without exploding into a ball of flame. Though just barely, I'm convinced.
The wait for our luggage was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. John and I stood there exhausted, me leaning back against him, his arms around me to steady himself, he was swaying ever so slightly. Finally our bags were up, we collected them and made for the subway.
"Where are we going?" His voice was small, I was in charge of making decisions.
"If we go to mine there's no one else to infect."
"But you don't have food." He whined.
I thought about it, "...I might?"
"You never have food, Alexander, and I want my bed, and I have more pillows so we can both be propped up."
"Whatever you say." I didn't have any fight in me. Hopefully we wouldn't spread this to Lafayette.
The subway was filled with drunken idiots, we claimed a corner for ourselves and sat in a heap of lassitude. Lafayette and Hercules were still awake when we got to the apartment, lounging on the couch. John dropped his bags by the door, I set mine down gently in the corner.
"Welcome home." Lafayette smiled at us, not unlike the cheesy grin in the photo album.
"Hi, guys." John leaned heavily against the wall.
"Oh no, you are both sick?"
John nodded.
"Go to bed," Hercules insisted, "babe, you can bother them tomorrow."
"But I wanted to bother them now. Fine, go to bed. You do look very ill."
In the bedroom, John tossed his sport coat to the floor and kicked his jeans off. Feeling frozen with chill, I left his hoodie on and we fell into each other, seeking comfort. I lie in the crook of his arm, no longer caring about my stale breath on his face as he started snoring, raspy, gaping mouth, clogged with gunk in his chest. He was so warm, I clung tighter to him to try and steal some of his heat away, nesting further in the blankets. He kicked them off in a fervor in his sleep, and I bundled myself in his portion, too. So dizzy. I clung to him to try and keep a grip on reality and make the world stop spinning. He shoved me off and pulled at his clothing, he was so sweaty and hot.
I hauled myself out of bed and found him a washcloth in the bathroom and ran it under the tap, I wrung cool water from it.
"Do you have everything you need?" Lafayette asked from the couch.
I shivered, "uh, advil? He's feverish. I'd get it, but I don't know where you keep meds."
"Be right there, mon ami."
I made it back to the bedroom and nursed John with the cool washcloth as he slept fitfully, running it over his face and neck, his arms, his belly where he'd pulled at his shirt. Lafayette opened the door and handed me a bottle and some water. I thanked him and he retreated to less germ-infested waters. I roused John enough to get him to take the medication and he peeled his shirt off, sleeping only in his underwear, still so hot. I, still fucking freezing, cocooned myself in the blankets and kept mopping his face with the rag. He thrust a hand out to find me and caressed my arm, head lolling to the side, he smacked his chapped lips and I held him up enough to help him drink more water. Once he settled, snoring again, I tucked back against him and fell asleep.