Emmett POV

For cabin time, my cabin was windsurfing. How do you surf on the wind? Rosalie's cabin was sailing, so it was the perfect chance to talk to her about out revenge on Jasper.

"Rosalie," I yelled across the beach, "Are you gonna tell me your plan now?"

She ran over to me – at human speed – and hissed, "Shh. Do you want the whole world to hear?"

"No, sorry." Jeez, why can't I ever do anything right around Rosalie?

"Besides," she continued, "I already told you the plan. What else do you need to know?"

"You didn't tell me the plan."

"Yes I did."

Whatever. There's no point in arguing with Rosalie. "Tell me again then."

"Okay. We're gonna get everyone in our family, and the mutt, to feel different emotions. First, everyone will be happy, then sad, then mad, then lustful, then excited. The emotions will affect him and he'll totally embarrass himself."

I do not remember her telling me that. Did she tell me that? She could not have told me that. Yeah, she probably told me that.

"Now do you remember?" she asked.

"No."

"Do you have short term memory loss?"

"I don't know. I forget."

Rosalie POV

Is he kidding me? Is he freaking kidding me? He has got to be kidding me. Doesn't he know that vampires can't even have short term memory loss? Our memory is infallible.

"Okay then. Now that you know, can you go tell everyone sle the plan?"

"Okay!" he said, and skipped away.

"Emmett! Wait!" I called.

He came skipping back. "What?"

"Remember, only tell people in our family, and Jacob, and don't tell Jasper."

"Why not?"

Okay, honestly. I knew that Emmett could be moronic, stupid, thick-skulled, slow, and dumb, but I never imagined that he could be so . . . so . . . clueless. And what baffles me even more is the fact that things like this come out of the mouth of the guy who had graduated college at least five times. I just don't get it.

Alice POV

Time to go to arts and crafts. I can't wait! Not. It has to be the most boring activity in history of everything. Maybe nobody will notice if I skip it and go to the mall. I am NOT wearing Walmart clothes. I would rather die. Again.

"Cindy, I need to go to the ma- washroom," I said. "Can you handle things here for a while?"

"Whatever," she said. She must still be mad at me for the makeover thing. It's not my fault she needs a new wardrobe. I think that whoever invented Value Village should be locked up and never released. Same with whoever invented Walmart.

I ran to the dock. I didn't want to get my outfit wet, so I just decided to steal the boat. Nobody would notice.

When I got into town, I stole a car and drove straight to the mall. I went into my favourite store, and grabbed everything that I could find in my size. I tool it to the checkout, and the total came to $15634. No problem. I have credit cards.

I handed one of my cards to the cashier. When she swiped it, it wouldn't work. "I'm sorry, your card is maxxed out."

No way did I max out another card. Well, I probably did. Oh well, I have more. "Here, try this one," I said, handing her another one.

She swiped it, but it wouldn't work either. I handed her another one. And another one. And another one. Two hundred and fifty six cards later, I still hadn't been able to buy my clothes.

What was going on? Who could have maxxed out all of my cards? Or, better yet, who could have cancelled all my cards? Rosalie! She must have gotten Carlisle and Esme to cancel them.

But that means that I can't shop!

"Noooooooo!"