Chapter Twenty-One

Arrival

Sometime in the night, I'm awakened with serious pain. It starts in my back and streaks down my left leg all the way to the foot. Oh shit, this has to be a pinched nerve. I try to do some stretches, remembering Daniel's lecture about sciatica. But it's to no avail. Lumbering up from my bed, I hobble to the wall with the crack to HD's room and holler, "HD! If you're there, I need you!" I wait, but there is no answering growl or even clicks.

"Herree, An-gee."

HD's gravel voice would whirl me around if I could whirl. Instead, I jerk my head violently towards the doorway.

"Owwww!" I protest as my neck muscles writhe from the sudden movement.

"Whaattt wrrroonnnng?" He's instantly at my side.

"I'm sorry to wake you but it's my back. I'm in horrible pain all the way down my leg. And now my neck on top of that!"

I'm carried back to my bed where HD gently molds me into position on my right side. Ever so gently and carefully, he begins to knuckle prod my lower back. Wincing when he hits the sore spots, I cling to the edge of my fur blanket for comfort. He works on the lumbars for a while and then moves to the muscles of my hip. The pain when he presses there almost raises me from the bed.

I complain through clenched teeth, "Shit that hurts, HD!"

"Knooowwww. Beeee strrroonnng. Musssttt hurrrttt toooo helllppp."

Tears begin streaming down my face as he presses and massages my constricted muscles. Ever so slowly, their death grip begins to relax.

"Oh my God, thank you HD. That's so much better now."

"Goooodd," he rumbles. "Neccckkk noowwww thennn sllleeepp."

Brushing my hair aside with a talon, he presses into my neck.

"Stay for a while and talk with me. Please? Stay with me until I go to sleep."

Angela, you sound like a child begging her parent. I don't care. I need him here. Fuck off.

There is softness in his eyes as he regards me. Then he grabs the other sleeping pallet that Daniel uses and shoves it next to mine. Taking up a position next to me, he sits down without a word, reaches over and starts soothing my neck.

"HD, what's having a baby like on your planet?"

"Dooo noottt knooowww. Onllyyy femmaallleess asssisstt atttt birrtthhh."

"Are all your doctors female?"

"Nooooooo. Butttt allllll chillddbirrrtthhh heellppp femmaallleee. Maaleee goooo therrree beee killlleddd."

"You're not serious?"

"Amm. Noooo malllleeess thatttt stupiiiddd."

I suppress a snicker. "Your females must be formidable!"

"Alll stroonnggg, goooddd unnnterrrrss. Goooddd bllooooddd linnneeessss. Otherrwissssse noootttt matttteeee."

I'm shocked. "You practice selective breeding?"

"Alllll Yautja mussstt provvveee befffoorrrreee allllooowwwedddd."

"How do they do that?"

"Schooollllinngggg. Tesssttttsss. Weeeeddddd outtttt weaaakkkkk."

"Oh my God, what happens to them? The ones who fail?"

"Depeeennnddsss. Sommmeee dieeee in tesstttssss. Ifff noootttttt, theeeyyyy servvveeee. Weeee provvviiiddddeee forrr theemm."

"Like slavery?"

"Whattt thatttt?"

"Slavery is when one person owns another person. The slave has to do the masters bidding. Slaves often do hard labor, like working in the fields."

"Yesssss. Theeeyyyy workkkk inn fieeellldddss. Growwww foooddd. Othhhherrr duttttiieesss. Nooottt haavvveee masssterrr. Theeeyyyy willllinnnggg."

"Well, do you treat them well? Are they clothed, housed, fed? Not that it makes their state any better."

"Youuuu notttt likkkkeeeee thiiissss, An-gee?"

"I most certainly do not. It may not be slavery, but it sounds suspiciously close. It is not the practice of enlightened human beings."

"Iittttt issss praccctissseee offf Yautja. Theeeyyyy treaatttteeddd welllll. Imporrrttannnttt parrrttt offff usssss. Impooorrrrtannnnttt dutttieeesss. Honooorrrr toooo serrvvveee Blooodddeddd. Onlyyyy Bloooddeddd breeeeedddd."

"So how do you get bloodeed?"

"Greaatttt unnnttt forrrr mooosssttt worrrttthyyy preeeyyyy! Goooo innnn thhhreeeessss. Musssttt killll orrr beeee killlleeedddd."

"So you went on that?"

"Yesss! Seeee marrrkkkk heerrrreee?" He traces the familiar scar on his forehead. I've never mentioned it, thinking it was some from accident. I did notice the same simple pattern carved into his mask.

"Thiiissss Blooodddeddd marrrrkkkk. Myyyy fammmillllyyyy marrrkkkk. Greaatttt onooorrrr toooo wearrrr."

"How did somebody scar that mark on you?"

His tusks chatter a bit and for a moment HD wears confusion. "Nooooo onnneee elllsssseee makkkkeeee marrrrkkk. I makkkeeee. Wittth blooodddd offff preeeyyyy. Blooodddd eattttt intttoooo flessshhhh."

Thoroughly grossed out and impressed at the same time, I move the subject away from flesh carving blood. "So you are marked with your family crest! I guess that's what we'd call it. And you can mate then. Do you have children, HD?"

"Mannnnyyyy! Verrryyyy prrouuudddd."

"How many?"

He stops and rolls his eyes up, as if recollecting. "Fiftttyyyy-thrrreeee."

Holy Mary Mother of God!

"Your wife had fifty-three kids? Oh, I feel for her!"

HD's outburst of laughter shakes my body. "Nnnooooooo. Noottt likkkeee ooomannnssss. Matttteee witthhhh mannnyyy femalllessss."

Alien he-slut.

"Sommeeee mooorrreee thannnn onnncceee. Eaccchhh seasssonnn, chooosseee mattteee."

"Do you visit your children?"

"Yesssss!" His eyes light up then go dark as he remembers, "Befooorrreeee. Cannnn nnnoootttt nooowwww."

"I'm so sorry, HD. You must miss them terribly. There must be a great many things you miss."

He nods. "Whyyyy sorrrryyyy? Youuuu noootttt doooo. Missss muucccchhh. An-gee sleeeepppp nooowwww. Okaayyyy?"

His throat must be pretty sore by now.

"Okay. HD, why don't we keep some of that liquid you use for your throat down here in my room?"

I yawn, true fatigue settling in my now pain-free body.

"Goooddd ideaaa. Sleeepppppp."

Like an elephant seal, I lumber up from the makeshift seat in the bathtub that our crafters have so cleverly made from the hollowed out trunk of one of the fruit trees. It was an old tree, clearly decaying in the middle. They felled it, then split it with one of the Earth made axes, and proceeded to scrape and burn out the center. It was presented proudly and with great ceremony to our people. Soon, more were made and, now, taking a bath is common place.

I pull the carved drain plug and watch the water flow down the little trough that will carry it out to be stored in a pond until it's needed for our crops. So much cleverness! I'm proud of us, what we've done and the civilization we're carving out of what used to be alien soil. It's feeling more like home now, after going on ten months of living here on the planet we've named Abuela.

I pat myself dry with the woven towel, once again in awe of the people who strip fibers from plants and weave them into soft, absorbent utility. And as I do every day, I examine my swollen belly. Protruding farther out then I thought possible, and now a source of great discomfort.

"Any day now," I pat my great bulge, hoping somehow the touch is transferred within, and speak to it, "A new little soul will land among us." For a moment, I'm lost in awe of the life process. Where there once was only me, there are two as I carry the remarkable magic of a new person inside my body.

I take my time getting dressed. My girth gets in the way of every motion and by the end of the day my back will hurt from counterbalancing this bulk. Thank God for my alien masseur! And lately, my breasts have begun leaking. Soft cloth pads inserted in my wrapped top soak up the slow drip and keep me presentable.

I make my way to the food line where the mid-day meal is being served. As usual, I'm ravenous. Today's lunch is Dino-bird stew. Meat from the huge carnivorous dinosaur-like egg-layers, cooked with tubers we've harvested from beneath the soil and seasoned with herbs and sea-salt. It's delicious!

As usual, Marie joins me at the table. The tables and stools are recent additions, thanks to the talents of our carpenters. "Hello!" she beams. "And how are you feeling today?"

"Good. Had a rough night though. Took a long time to get comfortable. I slept in."

"I'm glad you finally realize the world can turn without you," she remarks with a wry smile.

"It kinda has to right now. Have you seen Daniel?"

"I haven't. Been out looking for things after high tide. Look here!"

She deposits a handful of lustrous purple shells on the table. "Wouldn't they look great strung as a necklace?"

"They're beautiful! Can you show me where to find some?"

"Sure, let's go after you finish eating. A walk would do you good."

"Marie, you are especially radiant today. Spill it. Did you finally hook up with somebody?"

Marie's fair freckles become lost in her blush. "I did!" She gushes. "Pranov and I finally had an overnight. He's way too polite, but I adore him!"

"You're a great match! He's super smart. Just think of the brainy baby you'll have."

With lunch over, Marie and I walk the beach together. Well, she can walk it, I kind of waddle along, reminiscent of a bowling ball.

"There, see! There are more of them!" Marie excitedly begins scooping up empty purple shells, enough for both of us. I stand and watch, knowing that if I were to bend over I'd need Aleki and another stout warrior to pick me back up.

Marie joyously gathers shells from the sand and I just watch, more than ready to dump this load of baby and be able to bend over again. My back is reminding me that it would be better to sit down, but when I sit, it's difficult to breath. It's a no win situation. Come on, child. Aren't you ready to be born? I rub my hand over my protruding belly.

At least I don't have to worry about this child being hunted now that HD has helped us. I just need to find a way to tell everyone about it. But I need to get this child out of me first. I don't think I could do any idea justice standing before the council right now.

After I have this kid, somebody better ordain me, 'cuz I'm gonna preach a hole in my tongue. This makes sense. It's the only way to save us. I'm not bringing my child into a world where, on a whim, some alien can end his life just for his bones.

Thoughts of my child bring me back to the present moment. "These are gorgeous. Thanks for picking some up for me."

"Certainly," she smiles, "I'll get one of the guys to drill holes in them and then we can spend an afternoon stringing them. We'll set the latest fashion!" Laughing together, we enjoy wading in the shallow surf that smoothes away our footprints with each wave. My baby rejoices inside by drumming on my bladder with its tiny feet.

"Ooooo, wait a minute," I gasp. "The kid's kicking."

Placing on hand on Marie's shoulder, I bend forward slightly, trying to move the baby. "It's getting cramped in there. I am so ready to have this child!"

"Look how swollen your feet are!" she exclaims.

"Wow, they are plump. I hadn't even noticed."

"Do they hurt?"

"No, the only thing that hurts right now is my bladder. I need to pee." Leaving Marie behind, I duck walk across the broad swathe of sand, heading for the bush. Before I can reach the growth, a stream of water is running down my legs. Squatting in place, I whip off my loincloth and let it flow. "Uh, Marie!" I yell, but she's already by my side.

"Your water broke!" She exclaims just as a small pain clenches my middle.

"And I believe that was a contraction. Guess we'd better get home."

"Can you walk?"

"Yup." I replace my soggy cloth to afford some modesty, and begin the trek back. Damn, I didn't think we'd walked this far.

The pains are coming a bit faster now and with increasing force. "Maybe you'd better run for help."

My friend is off like a shot, running as fast as her short legs will carry her. I'm on all fours, my world condensed to breathing along with painful contractions. I'm so focused I don't even realize when she returns along with Daniel and a mid-wife. It takes all of them to get me back to the cave.

"You have the honor of being the first to use our birthing room," the Mid-Wife sings. I want to slug her. Full of knowledge and definitely in charge, she instructs me in positioning as Daniel helps support my body and Marie gives words of encouragement.

It hurts. I can't believe how much it hurts. Each wave of pain comes like a wave, engulfing me in cramping spasms as Daniel and the Mid-wife remind me in how to breathe. Marie pats my hand and I shoot her the look of death. I'm in fucking misery and you think a hand pat is going to help?

What must be hours go by. So much for this being quick. Contractions are coming more quickly now and with greater and greater force.

Daniel wipes my forehead with a damp cloth, then takes my face between his hands, "Angie, listen to me. The baby is not in the right position. We're going to try and turn it from outside your body. Okay? This is probably going to hurt."

Tell me something new. I nod my head. Anything to get this over.

"Dan," I gasp, "How long? How long have I been in labor now?"

"Not long," the Mid-wife interrupts. "You're quite far along actually. Most first-timers take much longer. I need you to lie on your back. Dan will hold you steady and I'm going to try and move the baby. Once he's in position, I think he'll come out quite nicely."

Giddy from pain and fatigue, I roll off my side onto my back with Dan helping me shift. "There you go! That's perfect ," the mid-wife gushes.

"Are you always this fucking cheerful?" I groan. She laughs in reply, "Ah the voice of the mother in labor."

Daniel leans over me, steadying my hips with his hands. The Mid-wife pushes around on my belly, locating the obstinate child. "Here's the head and here's the bum! He's sideways." She then proceeds to shove my guts through my spine.

I scream. "Holyfuckingshityoumotherfuckerthathurts!"

"And it didn't quite work," she announces with no humor in her voice. "I'll have to reach in. Spread your legs wide Angie. This will hurt. You're dilated enough for me to reach in to the baby. I'm going to reposition him from inside. Hold her again, Dan."

Another contraction hits and I writhe. "Don't push, Angie!" the Mid-wife orders. "He's not in position and you'll just hurt yourself and him. Don't push!"

"I'm trying," I cry, "I can't help it!"

I spread my legs wide, allowing her intrusion and praying that this will work. "Bring the torch over, Marie. I need to see." She peers intently and her aura of cheerfulness breaks, "Why you little bastard! You're breech! See Daniel? There's its little bum, stopping up the works." I look down my body to see the Mid-wife, Daniel and Marie framed by my thighs.

"Will you get this fucking thing out of me?" I scream.

"We can't, dear," the Mid-Wife informs. You're not dilated enough yet. We've got to wait."

This part of my life is now shrunken to enduring the painful spasms and trying to obey the orders not to push. I'm soaked in sweat. "Can't you just reach in and pull him out?" I beg.

"No she can't, Angie." Daniel answers, his voice filled with stress. "The baby's head could get caught in the birth canal. It's best just to wait. I'm sorry this is hurting you."

"I know," I sob.

"You're dilated more all the time," the Mid-Wife tries to reassure me. "Lot's of babies are born breech. We just have to be patient and let nature have her way with this."

An eternity passes as I remember information from long-ago about pioneer women dying in childbirth. My weak voice trembles, "Marie?"

"I'm right here."

"If I don't make it, will you take care of my baby?"

Her face contorts in distress. "Angie! You're going to be fine. Isn't she Dan?"

"You're doing fine, Ang," he soothes. "You're doing a great job."

"Look!" The Mid-wife cries, "A foot! He's coming through! Push Angie! Push!"

I bear down with all my remaining strength and feel my body stretch as the baby passes through where nothing this large has ever gone before. I stop pushing to take a breath and then with everyone's goddamned encouragement, I push again. I push as though I'm constipated with an elephant. And then, there is only relief as it's out. "Lemme see, lemme see," I hear my own voice plead.

Dan has the baby in one hand, patting its tiny back. I sit up, reaching. It sputters, fluid draining from its nose and mouth, and then lets out a loud cry. Dan carefully turns it over, pronouncing, "It's a girl!" Cooing, he wipes her face, wraps her in cloth and hands her to me. "Here she is Mama. Our healthy baby girl."

I hold her close, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. A delicate cap of fine black hair crowns her round head. Perfectly browed eyes scrunch against the light between which sets a fine broad nose. She has little round cheeks, an upper lip slightly pouting over the lower, underlined by the half-round of her chin. She's real. She's here. She's finally born. My heart expands around her as tears of love fill my eyes.

"Does she have a name yet?" Marie asks.

Beaming down at my child, I answer, "Mahpiya. In my native Lakota, it means the sky, heaven."