Life has become routine.
It's been three months since Evan died.
Bella's adjusted to being alone in the house…I don't sleep in my car across the street…much.
I have work to keep me busy.
Slowly but surely Bella's started going out with friends more.
She's developed a routine for herself…I've become a part of that routine.
She gets up, goes to work, comes home, and then I go over to her house. We make dinner together, and when she goes to bed, I head home most nights, although sometimes I find myself unable to be that faraway, so I take up my spot in my car across the street.
Everyone thinks she's doing well and has starting the healing process so she can move forward…but I know different. I know because I see what she tries to hide. We both put on good fronts for everyone else, but when it's just the two of us, the walls come down and the masks come off…
I still have trouble looking at pictures of Evan and I, or looking at myself in the mirror.
Bella still wears his clothes to sleep.
She still sprays them with his cologne to keep them smelling like him…I can smell the scent lingering in the air of their room even after all this time. I've even bought her a few extra bottles for when she runs out because if that smell is what gives her comfort and makes her happy, then I'll buy her every bottle on the planet if I have to.
Hi wedding band remains around her neck, lying next to her heart…the one place I wish she would reserve a place for me…but I know she's not ready…and even if she was…would she even consider me?