21 – A Trip to the Cantina
"Okay, I've got the address for the Sagebrush Cantina so we can plug it into the GPS. It'll be about three hours to Barstow." Logan was talking through Veronica's bedroom door as she changed into more road trip-appropriate clothes. He flinched back as the door was flung open in front of him.
"You really don't have to come. I can handle my mother." Veronica turned back into the room, now dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved tee shirt, and walked to her desk where she began to pack her laptop into her messenger bag.
"I have no doubt you can handle your mother but I'm not sending you out in the middle of the night by yourself." Logan remained standing stiffly by her bedroom door, a little concerned that if he let down his guard, she'd try to leave alone.
"I do it all the time, Logan," Veronica said, looking at him with a wry half-smile.
"Well, you don't have to this time. Come on, quit fighting me on this. I'm dying to drive to Barstow." He gave her a serious look. "You wouldn't deny me my life-long dream of a Barstow road trip, would'ja? Cuz that would just be mean."
She chuckled and went back to packing up her bag. "No, I guess I can't do that."
"Good. So, this means I can go to the bathroom before we go and not be afraid that you'll run off without me, right?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly and she laughed outright.
"Boy, you're getting so suspicious. Yes, I don't want to have to listen to you whining for a pit stop at the first gas station we drive past. Go before we leave."
"Oh thank God," he said and headed for the bathroom.
He snuck back to her door a couple minutes later, trying to discreetly confirm that she hadn't ditched him but she caught sight of him peeking in the door and shook her head. "I said I wouldn't leave without you. Am I that untrustworthy?"
He frowned and leaned in the doorway. "No, that's not it. I trust you and your dad more than pretty much anyone." Her eyes widened and the soft look on her face caught him by surprise. He smiled back but then looked down, his brow wrinkling as he reconsidered that statement. "No, I take that back."
He glanced back up to see she was no longer smiling but instead looked sad, or maybe resigned, he wasn't sure. He stepped toward her, his hand up like he could stop what she was thinking. "No, that came out wrong. Don't look like that—it's nothing bad. You two really are who I trust the most. I'm used to thinking of Duncan as the person I trust most but let's be real...I don't tell him anything anymore. And I should be saying it's my mom but we both know that would be a lie."
He stopped in front of her and reached for her hand. "And I'm sure you're aware...I'm a sneaky teenager, so there's gonna be stuff I won't tell your dad. That leaves you as my primary secret-keeper, Mars." He grinned at her. "I'm at your mercy. Be gentle."
She sat down at her desk, still looking sad. "We both know you've still got secrets that you're not telling me."
He was startled at first, his mind going to the alibi that Dick and Beaver gave him for the time of Lilly's death that he'd never gotten around to confessing to her. How does she know about that? Then he realized she was talking about Aaron and he shook his head.
"You know that secret, you just don't know the gory details. And I wouldn't mind keeping it that way." He knelt next to her chair, still holding her hand, looking up at her. "Knowing all that shit isn't going to make anything better for either of us. Why do you want to know?"
She looked down at him and sighed, then pulled her hand free of his and laced her fingers together in her lap. "I don't know. I guess I don't need to. Honestly, I just feel really bad that I never realized before. It seems so obvious in hindsight. It's making me a little obsessive about what else I've missed. But you're right; it's not my business."
He felt stupid that he needed to keep trying to touch her but he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to wrap his hand around her clasped, wringing hands. "I never said that. You have enough going on in your own life. I just don't want to put more on you for no good reason." Her fingers straightened then intertwined with his and squeezed. Their eyes met for a moment before he had to look away. "Okay, look, I'll tell your dad you can look at the files he has on one condition."
"No, I don't have to—"
"It's okay. I don't really want to talk about it with you—that'd be too hard—but if you want to fill in some gaps, you can look at the files. On one condition."
Her thumbs stroked his hand. "Okay, let's hear it."
He swallowed hard. "Once you've seen those records, you have to swear to me that you won't try to do something. To Aaron, I mean. No retaliatory stunts."
"No bong in his locker?" she said in an amused tone. "I guess it's a good thing that he doesn't actually have a locker."
"He has plenty of other things, or places, where you could try to make a strike and I need you to swear that you won't try."
She gave an exasperated huff. "I don't know why this is such a big deal to you, Logan."
"Because if he catches you, he'll hurt you." Logan shook her hands roughly and she looked at him with big, surprised eyes. "And I don't mean that he'll bash in your headlights. If he ever catches you doing something, I have no doubt that he will hurt you. And you're tough, but you're little. He could kill you and clean it up and no one would even know what happened to you. Promise me, Veronica."
She made a low pained noise and lifted her hands that were grasped in his. "Logan, my hands. Too tight." He released her immediately, then stood and spun away from her, running his fingers frantically through his hair.
"Do you think maybe you're being a little melodramatic, Logan? I key his car and he makes me sleep with the fishes?"
He turned back to her and tried to smile. "Maybe I am overreacting but somehow I don't see you limiting yourself to low-rent stunts like keying his car. The pristine state of my own car all through last year is testimony to that. You're into much larger scale retaliation." He took a deep breath and came back to stand by the desk again. "Look, maybe I am being a drama queen—it isn't the first time someone named Mars has called me that this week. But I don't care. You can make fun of me all the way to Barstow and back if you want, as long as you promise."
She met his pleading eyes and reached for his hand again. "I promise I won't do anything without you. Okay? Is that enough? Because I'm not sure I can promise to just let this go entirely, whether I ever see the records or not. But I won't do anything without telling you first. I will promise you that."
He frowned and furrowed his brow. "What happens in this proposed scenario when you say, 'this is what I'm going to do', and I say, 'no'? Do you just do what you want regardless of what I think?"
She looked at him skeptically. "Umm, probably not?"
Logan shook his head. "Not good enough. Make that into 'absolutely not' and say it as a statement, not as a question, and we're in business."
She shook her head but smiled. "You drive a hard bargain, mister. All right, if you disapprove, I won't go ahead. But you better not use this veto power against me. Agreed?"
"Agreed." He held up his fist and she bumped it. "Okay then, are you finally ready, Mars? I know we're not in a giant hurry since it's too far to get there before last call and the bar will probably be closed but it can't hurt to get going sooner rather than later."
"Yep, let's go."
"So this is staking out, huh?" Logan tipped his car seat back slightly and rested his arms behind his head. "It looks sexier in the movies."
Veronica tipped her head back from her camera's viewfinder so he would be able to see her rolling her eyes at him. "Just take a nap, why don't you? I don't need you to keep me company like you seem to think."
"No, no, I'm finding this all very educational. This is what you do at the Camelot? Peek through the camera until you find someone doing...whatever it is that they aren't supposed to be doing?"
She sighed. "Yeah, more or less."
"This is a boring job, Mars."
"No one asked you to tag along, Logan. In fact, I actually seem to recall discouraging you from coming." She peered into the viewfinder again.
"You know I don't listen." She felt him poke a finger at her bicep. "Hey, Veronica?"
"Geez, you're like a four-year-old...What?" She lowered the camera into her lap and turned to look at him. "What, Logan?"
He held up his hands in a placating gesture. "It's almost 5:00 AM. The sign in the window says they open again at 8:00 AM. It seems unlikely that your mom is going to turn up in the next couple of hours. Why don't you put your seat back and take a nap? You don't want to look like Steve Buscemi the first time you see her in what...a year?"
"Oh, that's flattering. Thanks."
"I didn't say you looked like him now; I'm just suggesting that maybe a quick catnap might be a good idea." He gave her a bashful smile. "If you're worried about her showing up earlier for some reason, I'll make sure I stay awake."
"No, you're probably right. She's off somewhere sleeping it off. We could both fall asleep and it's probably not gonna matter." She tucked her camera back into her bag, tipped her car seat back, and rolled onto her side to face him. She smiled up at him and folded her hands under her cheek before closing her eyes.
"Huh," she heard him say in a surprised tone. "That was so much easier than I thought it would be." She opened one eye to see him tilt his own seat further back before rolling to mimic her pose, only with his head propped up on his bent arm. She closed her eye again, feeling the effect of Logan's close proximity in her stomach. She struggled to keep her eyes closed under what felt like the heavy weight of his eyes on her. After a moment, she gave up and peeked up at him, finding exactly what she expected: he was staring down on her. What she didn't expect: he looked upset.
"Logan? What's the matter?" She reached up and smoothed her thumb across the wrinkle between his eyebrows, then realized what she'd just done and snatched her hand back, tucking it back under her cheek, hoping she could keep it from getting away from her again.
He sighed and shifted back to the regular position in his seat so he was no longer looking at her. "You're supposed to be sleeping."
"Well, I'm not. Tell me what's wrong."
"I don't want to. Not now. You've got enough to worry about, hoping to find your mom, and then what? Do we just drag her home with us?" He glanced over at her quickly before turning back to stare up at the car ceiling. "I'm here to help you get through this like you've helped me get through the stuff with my mom. I'm not here to bare my soul and make you more stressed out."
"Dude," she said, poking him in the side, trying to lighten his mood, "you have to know that hinting at a secret and then refusing to tell me is going to stress me out more than anything else you could do to me."
"Can't you just close your eyes again, Veronica?" He scrubbed his hands over his face and up into his hair. "Pretend this is all a dream."
"Do you think I dream about you, Echolls?" she teased.
He finally snorted out a laugh and rolled back onto his side. "How could you not? I mean really." He lifted his hand in front of his face and then swept it down along his body with a flourish. "You're only human, after all."
Veronica flopped back onto her back, laughing hysterically. "You. Are. Ridiculous."
"Ridiculously hot." That only made her laugh harder.
"You gotta stop...can't breathe," she choked out through her laughter, starting to gasp a little for air. His face turned serious as he watched her struggling to get control of herself.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah, just a little too much hilarity." She drew in a long, shuddering breath and released it slowly. "That was funny...you with the Vanna White hands, displaying your goods..." She felt the laughter starting again and took another deep breath.
"You know, you're very hard on a guy's ego," Logan said in a disapproving voice. "How am I supposed to maintain my self-confidence when you laugh at me like this?"
"Somehow, I think your ego can take the hit," she answered.
"You might be surprised at the depth of my delicate, little feelings," he smirked at her.
"No, I probably wouldn't be. Okay, you're off the hook on confessional time for now but once my mom is squared away, you owe me your tale. Got it?"
"My tail? If you want my tail, Mars, I'm ready now. Huge backseat in this baby." He pushed himself upright and started to move across the console like he was going to crawl into the backseat. She laughed and shoved him back into his seat.
"You idiot. You know what I meant. Tale, as in story. Geez." She turned on her side again and tucked her hands back up under her cheek. "Now go to sleep, Logan. You're starting to look like Steve Buscemi."
Logan woke to a tickling sensation against his wrists. He opened his eyes to the sight of Veronica, asleep next to him. She'd curled sideways and her head was now on the cushioned part of his center console. He couldn't see her face; it was obscured by her still-crimped hair. It was her hair that had wakened him where it had slipped over against him. He stretched his fingers out to rub the tickly ends over his wrist and smiled at how stiff her hair felt. Meg had used a lot of product. He thought back to the old version of Veronica, the one with the long hair that would end up flopped everywhere when they would all fall asleep in a heap after a night of movies at the Kanes'. Duncan would always bitch and moan about the girls' hair getting in his face and making him sneeze but Logan never complained. He loved having the girls curled up against him like kittens. Not in a sexual way—well, occasionally in a sexual way—but mostly he just loved all the tangible affection he got in those days. It was so different than everything else in his life. It was probably what he'd missed most after Lilly died.
He looked up at the clock and saw it was already 8:30 AM. He tilted his seat up and peered out the window at the bar at the other end of the parking lot. The neon signs in the windows were lit but it otherwise looked dead. That didn't seem surprising; how many people hung out at bars at this time of day? He looked around the rest of his surroundings and spotted the familiar green mermaid of Starbucks across the main boulevard. He glanced down at Veronica but still couldn't see her face. He gently swept her hair back from her face so he could see her. She gave an unintelligible mumble, then sighed, and quieted again.
He considered his options. He wanted to bring her coffee but was concerned she would wake up while he was gone and rush into the bar alone. On the other hand, it was broad daylight and he didn't think she would be in any danger. Decision made, he opened his door and realized his keys were in the ignition when the annoying binging noise began. "Damn, damn," he cursed under his breath and he yanked the keys out but the damage was done.
"Logan?" Veronica said, in a sleepy voice that suddenly sharpened. "What time is it? Is it after 8:00 AM?"
"It actually is," he answered, pulling the door shut again. "I was going to get us some coffee before I woke you up and we checked out the bar but the door chime had other ideas." She had rolled back to a normal position in the seat and was stretching, her arms raised above her head and her legs straight with pointed toes, reaching in both directions as far as she could.
"You didn't see her, did you?"
"No, I just woke up a couple minutes before you did. Can you wait for coffee or do you need to peek in there right now?" He smiled down at her, ready to do whatever she wanted.
Veronica's lips pursed and her nose wrinkled adorably. "I wouldn't mind coffee first. If she's in there, I'll see her if she comes out." She looked contemplative. "You're going to go get it while I wait here?"
"Yes, dear, I'll bring you your coffee," he said sarcastically. "Just cream and sugar this morning or do you want a mocha?"
"White mocha with an extra shot?" she asked hopefully.
"Your wish...now make sure you stay put." She rolled her eyes at him but she nodded before she started digging around in her bag. He hopped out and jogged across the street.
Logan had been gone for about ten minutes when Veronica looked up to see her mother crossing the side street into the parking lot of the Sagebrush Cantina. She was stunned at first and sat staring as Lianne trudged across the gravel lot and entered the bar. Once her mother disappeared from view again, she snapped out of her stupor and jumped out of the Xterra to follow her.
She blinked in the dark building, trying to get her vision to adjust so she could see again. As the dim setting came into focus, she saw a few people playing pool and one person sitting at the bar. She walked in that direction and saw that it was her mom. She stood next to her for a moment, looking at Lianne slumped over with her arms curled around the drink already in front of her. "Mom?" she said in a tremulous voice. Lianne turned her head slowly and her eyes were unfocused at first but they sharpened slightly as she finally realized who was speaking to her.
"Veronica?" Lianne's voice was slurred and hesitant. "My God, no. No, please."
"Come on, Mom, it's me. Let's get you out of here. I've come to take you home." Lianne stood up and tried to walk away but Veronica put her arms around her, trying to get her to be still.
"Veronica. No. You can't be here. I can't be with you; they're going to hurt you." She grabbed her purse off the bar and began to struggle away, knocking her glass and a bowl of pretzels off the bar with a crash.
"Mom, it's okay, I know who's doing it; I know who's blackmailing us. You're safe now." Lianne gave up the struggle and collapsed back onto the bar stool, crying. As Veronica put her arm around her trying to comfort her, she glanced up and saw a familiar face glaring at her in the mirror behind the bar. She whirled around to see Clarence Wiedman turn and walk out the back door of the bar. She took a step to follow him and then registered her sobbing mother behind her. Clarence wouldn't be hard to find. Once she figured out how he'd tracked her, she'd be paying him a visit.
"Veronica, what the hell? Didn't we agree you would stay put?" Logan was suddenly beside her. He set the coffees on the bar and put a hand on Lianne's back and another around Veronica, looking around the room suspiciously. "What happened? Is she okay?"
The hand on her back seemed to jolt Lianne out of her crying jag. "Veronica, you can't be here. They're going to hurt you. Please, go away and forget you saw me."
"Hurt her? Mrs. Mars? Someone's going to hurt Veronica?" Logan's arm tightened around Veronica, pulling her into him as he turned more toward Lianne.
"No," Veronica answered impatiently, trying and failing to shrug his arm off her. "She's mistaken. Mom, I know about the pictures and I know who did it. Don't worry. No one's going to hurt me."
Lianne looked at her. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, very. Come on, Mom. We came to get you out of here. Please just come with us."
For the first time, Lianne turned and looked at Logan. "Logan? Is that really you? You've sure grown up. What are you doing here?"
He smiled gently at her. "I'm your ride, Mrs. Mars. Why don't you come on with us now? Your daughter's been looking for you. We drove all night to find you."
She clutched at his shirt. "Is it safe? They said they'd hurt Veronica. I can't let them hurt her."
Veronica saw his eyes flick up to her and knew that she was going to have to come clean about this whole thing.
"No one is ever going to hurt Veronica. I'm not gonna let that happen. But I think we need to all get out of here. Will you please come with us?" He slid his hand around her back so he could pull her off the stool toward him. "Why don't we go now?"
Lianne slid off the stool and took a step toward Veronica, who turned out of Logan's grasp and wrapped her own arm around her mom. "Come on, Mom. Logan's got his car out in the parking lot. Let's get to the car, okay?" She started to walk toward the door and Logan followed immediately behind, still with a hand on both Lianne and Veronica. At the car, Veronica opened the back door and Lianne climbed in clumsily. While Veronica helped her with her seat belt, she noticed Logan discreetly making sure the child safety lock on the door next to Lianne was triggered. As Veronica stepped back to close the door, she turned toward Logan and put a hand on his chest.
"I know, I know, you've got tons of questions and you want answers. I'll tell you once we've got her situated. I want to take her to a rehab facility in San Bernardino. It's on the way back. Will you take us there?"
"Does she want to go?" Logan asked.
"We haven't talked about it but why wouldn't she? She can't like being like this. This is supposed to be a very good facility. I figure we'll take her there, check her in, and in six weeks or so, she'll be ready to come back home. Just like your mom."
"My mom had a wake-up call in the form of a near death experience. Your mom has to want to get help for this to do any good. She looks too freaked out right now for this to make a difference."
"What do you want me to do, Logan? Tell her to give me a call when she's ready to go to rehab and I'll see her then? No! Once she's there, she'll see what she needs to do." Veronica took a step back from him and put her hand on the door handle. "Are you going to help me, Logan?"
"I am helping you, Veronica," he said in an agitated voice. "It's not my fault you can't see that." He whirled away from her and walked around the back of the SUV to his side to climb into the driver's seat. She watched him walking away from her and climbed into her seat as he got into his. She typed the facility address into the GPS display and then turned back to him.
"I'm sorry, Logan, I do know you're trying to help," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I implied otherwise." She looked back at her mom, who was still sniffling. "I'm going back there with her. You're okay with the GPS instructions?"
He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that's no problem and it'll be easier for you to explain what you want her to do from back there. Just climb through."
Veronica started to climb over the console to the back seat, stopped midway, and kissed Logan on the cheek. "Thanks."