Author's Note: I be nervous, guys... Pre-season is a scary thing. I'm not sure I be ready... And I should be running. Yet here I am, writing.

Mild Warning: Cybertronian/old English cussing via a pissed Ratchet.

Disclaimer: I own next to nothing.

"Autobots Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Tracks, Hound, Trailbreaker, Mirage, Cliffjumper, and Ironhide with the Arielbots as air support and gestalt support and Skyfire as transport and rescue will go with me to the power station. Red Alert, you're tech support, Smokescreen, tactical support. Ratchet, prepare the med bay for casualties. Autobots: prepare for roll out!"

The warriors nodded and chorused "Yessir!" before heading to the entrance of the Ark.

Jazz watched as the mentioned bots all moved to their assigned areas. A flash of red by the door caught his optic. Optimus...

The smaller black and white bot walked over to his mind switched leader.

There was a slightly awkward pause (Jazz felt like he probably made the poor youngling crash too many times) before the younger spoke. "Are you sure that I shouldn't come? From what everyone's told me, Megatron's going to notice if I'm not there."

"Nah, we'll tell 'im somethin' about you havin' more important things to do than battle 'im. It'll rattle 'is circuits, get 'im mad enough 'e won't care much anymore." Jazz just shrugged off Optimus's concern.

The Prime wasn't so sure. His Megatron was a formable enemy, this one was most likely one too. Could Jazz handle that?

"Don' worry 'bout me. I've been fightin' in this war for a few million years and I got good back up. 'Hide's fought in two of dese wars, he'll be helpin' me battle Megs. 'Kay?" The saboteur flashed one of his most dashing smiles, and the Prime felt a little better. He watched as the current in command ran out to join his team.

Yes, Jazz's words had made Optimus feel a little better.

But only a little.

Ratchet cursed up a storm. It was almost like they had their own Ratchet back, Sideswipe thought. He had already cursing Megatron's lineage all the way back to the 'Original Thirteen' (what ever that was), said that the 'Allspark' was glitching when it sparked him. (Sideswipe didn't know what the 'Allspark' was, but he knew that Vector Sigma was glitching when it sparked ol' Megs.)

Now why was the mind switched medic swearing with all the known curses in English, Spanish, French, three different dialects of Cybertronian, and a few unknown to most people/bots?

Jazz.

The third in command had taken on "that fat kidneyed slagger!" (aka: Megatron) one on one when Ironhide had been distracted with fending off Soundwave from a preoccupied Cliffjumper.

Everyone had been kind of distracted with the battle going on and all, but the next thing they knew Jazz was on the ground at the feet of the "veriest fragging varlet that ever chewed with a dental!" nearly ripped in half.

There were at least three roars of absolute rage from various warriors at the sight of the mangled TIC. Ironhide punched Soundwave in the head so hard half of the helm caved in then kicked him in the cassette compartment of his chest so hard he was sent flying across most of the battlefield.

The Arielbots smashed the Command Trine into the ground in their fury, where Sunstreaker ripped off one of Skywarp's wings because it was in the way of getting to the "quintessence of cosmic rust!" (thankfully for the seeker he was already unconscious and didn't feel a thing).

The "notable slagging coward" called a retreat not long after that. But both sides left the battlefield worse for wear.

Jazz was still in critical condition (hence Ratchet's cursing), Ironhide had a fractured hip joint (that kick was not good for his old joints), Tracks had a crumpled wing (that he was complaining about non-stop to a less than amused Wheeljack), and both Twins had the usual scuffs, scrapes and dents (that Sunstreaker was complaining about non-stop to his Twin over their bond).

All in all, it was an unusual end of the battle.

Now slightly more logical side of Sideswipe (it was only slightly more logical; it was the side that came up with most of the prank ideas) reminded him that the mind that was currently controlling his leader was not in fact the Optimus he had known for millions of years. But the frontliner part of him was furious at the Prime.

Who cares if his leader wasn't actually his leader at the moment? He should have been there! He should have been fighting Megatron, not Jazz! Jazz was experienced, sure, but he wasn't on the level of Megatron! And certainly not alone!

As far as Sideswipe was concerned the only "natural coward without slagging proper core programming" (what did these insults even mean, and how did Ratchet know them!) was his 'Great and Glorious Leader.'

There was going to be hell to pay.

I know some of you guys wanted Sides. Look! You got Sides!

As to how Ratchet knew that many Shakespearian insults, I don't know. But I got them off of an online Shakespearian Insult Dictionary, here: http:/ www. william-shakespeare .org. uk/ shakespeare-insults-n .htm. You know the drill, remove the spaces.

And wolfhuntsmoon: It's happening! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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