Reminiscence

He was a strange child. With flowing golden hair to nearly the ground, a vocabulary that surpassed even her's, and dead boring eyes, Vincent was an enigma. He never played with them. Her peer had some interest in Nunnally, but he never initiated their interactions. Lulu made some attempt to approach him at first; after their only words years ago she did little other than glare at the jerk.

"I don't like children," he said.

As if he wasn't one himself.

He came to see her mother and the green haired woman. C.C. didn't claim to have a name. She acted even weirder than Vincent except that she liked to play dolls, and stayed over fairly often. Perhaps that was why she was personable. Her visits weren't limited to business and stolen glances. They thought Lulu didn't notice. When Vincent visited with Marianne his eye lit up. Those creepy lavender eyes, similar in shade to Nunnally's, sparkled - sometimes with regret, others amusement. As Lulu became older she recognized lust. That confused her the most of all.

Even she had crushes, people who caused her heart to flutter, a bunch of butterflies to take flight in her stomach, made her cheeks to burn as if she fell asleep on a hot rock in the summer. Still, she never looked like that, she didn't think. He eyed Marianne like Charles. He focused on her chest, especially in a low cut gown. When her mother wore riding pants, Vincent's eyes lingered on rarely visible hips and butt. Her mother too acted lewd, like she welcomed the attention. Teasing. That's the word Guinevere would use.

"You shouldn't think about those things." She scolded one day.

Vincent pushed up from where he was sitting on a blanket with Marianne, talking in hushed tones, and strode past her, Nunnally. Marianne stopped momentarily to mention that she would be in the lounge with C.C. for a while. VIncent paused when he heard her chide, and motioned for her mother to go on ahead into the villa. He looked Lulu over with enough contempt that her skin crawled. Lulu shivered. She feigned boredom when she looked away, and gazed at a hummingbird. The green, blue, and yellow creature drank out of the feeder, undoubtedly feeling victorious despite not searching for food the conventional manner. When she watched the others, they traveled hastily from one flower to another, gathering nectar in no time. Were they always so gluttonous when fed? Each stayed for minutes. In her imagination, she saw the little bird become plump, and struggle to stay in the air with the added weight

She curled up, and dug her toes into the earth. There was no need to look back at him. It was the same way her father looked at her after she said something so absurd he couldn't, or rather wouldn't, respond. "The punishments we inflict upon ourselves are often worse than what another could give." He told her that once when his stare brought her to tears. Tears pricked her eyes, her heart raced, and her whole body was unbearably numb. Lulu bit her lower lip to keep an apology from spilling out. With her father she usually did apologize, simply because his loving hug dispelled whatever guilt lingered. Even when she deserved to be punished, he let her inflict her own wounds. Maybe that was the only way to ensure her "sorry" was sincere.

Vincent deserved nothing from her.

Although she didn't know his age, he was shorter than her by half a head. To Lulu that gave her some measure of authority. He was rude, not that she didn't fall into that category herself most days. Perhaps the reason why their personalities clashed so hard lied there.

"Oh yeah?"

She flinched at Nunnally's touch. Her younger sister slid her bare right hand across the plaid fleece they sat on to link fingers. Lulu stilled and waited for that sensation. The feelings of electrical shock a split second before a warm embrace. Her every fiber was lulled to submission whenever Nunnally used her power. She became putty in that small fragile hand as Nunnally manipulated her thoughts, emotions, and sense of self.

Sometimes she welcomed the intrusion, and gave no fight. Truthfully, she rarely fought Nunnally. Once her little sister's eye became hazy, like something beyond her ability to see blocked the orb, there was no use. She liked to think that whatever happened, happened because Nunnally wanted to help her in some way. Lulu couldn't remember what changed. She only knew, after careful consideration and sneaking, that this was the result. If she never overheard that hushed conversations of Marianne, Vincent, and C.C. when she should have been in bed, Lulu would have remained blissfully ignorant of geass.

Lulu cracked an eye open; she didn't noticed that she squeezed them shut until then. Her harsh breathing slowed after it became evident that Nunnally meant nothing nefarious. She smiled back and accepted the comfort. Nunnally glared daggers at Vincent. If only looks could kill. Vincent seemed to be immune to Nunnally, or maybe she just never tried to control him.

"You're not being nice." Nunnally pouted.

Vincent snarled and narrowed his eyes. Some silent conversation transpired. Maybe they weren't talking because whatever would have been said needed no words. To say anything regarding the situation was akin to beating a dead horse. For whatever reason, Nunnally loved Vincent, and her younger sister was always a peacekeeper, even more so than Euphie. Vincent's features softened, and an alarming smile crept across his lips.

Lulu gasped when he pressed those lips against her own, bending over to reach in a seated position. It wasn't a quick peck like her mother gave before bed, or her father when he was about to leave. Both of them chose to kiss her forehead or cheek in the last few years. Even so, they never pushed their tongue into her mouth, swirling it around in exploration; he nipped at her lower lip. Lulu gripped at the lapel of his navy blue jacket, ready to shove the boy to the ground and beat him. Then that warm feeling that only Nunnally could produce washed over her, and she found herself clumsily kissing back.

"V.V. said this is how you love someone."

Lulu didn't have to open her eyes to see the broad smile on Nunnally's face. It was evident in her cheery voice. Love? Was that why crocodile tears leaked down her flushed cheeks? They were tears of joy and love? She felt loved with every fiber of her being. Her body trembled; overcome with the emotion as Nunnally held her hand, and used the other to bunch up the bottom of her ruffled skirt. She held onto Vincent for dear life as he lowered her to the ground, and took a spot to her right.

The soft fleece felt course against her exposed skin. Vincent stretched the fabric of her elastic neckline down, conceding to unzip the back of her dress when he couldn't reach his target. He pinched her left nipple, and rolled the small bud between his fingers. Lulu moaned, confused, and something else she couldn't quite place, when her private parts became wet. Nunnally pushed aside pink and green floral panties and kissed parts that their mother said were to be left alone.

Like Vincent, her younger sister used her tongue, and kissed in a way that Lulu had no idea was possible. Whining, she crushed her mouth harder into Vincent, and bucked her small-undeveloped hips. "You really are your mother's daughter." He laughed and moved his lips to bite at her jaw and ear. "Maybe it won't be so bad with her gone afterall. You look just like her, Lulu. Marianne was flat as a rail when we first met. It wasn't until she had you that she really truly filled out." He bit at her earlobe, tugging on the tender flesh around the gold heart earring. "But I have you and your sister. You'll both grow into beautiful women for me, won't you?"

Lulu cried out as a strange tingling sensation replaced the tight knot Nunnally and Vincent created in her stomach. Her whole body quivered. "Nunnally?" She whimpered as her sister let go of her hand in order to slide the soiled underwear past her knees and off completely. Lulu shivered from the chilly spring air on the moistened area. She reached out, seeking contact - they both moved away from her to change positions. Nunnally scooted to sit on her left side and Vincent nestled himself between her legs.

It wasn't the same. Nunnally grabbed both her hands, pinning her to the ground, but her younger sister didn't use that power. She still felt incredible heated, and sweat beaded on her skin; the loss seemed severe regardless. Nunnally cut off her request for it again, tenderly and cautiously running the tongue that did such naughty things against her lower lip. She sought permission for some reason. Lulu kissed back, taking the lead even though her first experience was only minutes ago.

"What?!" She shrieked, pulling away from Nunnally. Her eyes snapped open when something painful pushed inside her.

"It's ok. It only hurts for a little bit. I think. V.V. said I have to wait until I'm older for this part. We just started playing this game a week or two ago."

Lulu whimpered, stifling a sob. Nunnally nuzzled her neck, whispering encouragement into her splayed out hair between love bites. Her torment didn't ease to a sting until after the first time Vincent shuttered, and stopped moving in favor of some bazaar throbbing sensation. "We fit together so well, Lulu... I suppose…. this is the benefit of similar physical age." He stutted from ragged breathing and picked up the pace again.

She didn't know how long this game continued. Nunnally kissed and stroked her upper half, while Vincent focused on the lower, thrusting into her privates. The knots in her stomach tightened and loosened, tightened and loosened, and Lulu became hoarse from screaming into Nunnally's mouth. Her whole body felt like jello when they finally finished with her, and snuggled up on her sides.

Vincent pushed her skirt back down to her ankles, and kissed Nunnally when he rested his head on Lulu's covered chest. Besides a few wrinkles, her yellow with pink butterflies dress looked presentable. "How old are you again, Lulu?" Vincent asked, dispelling the fog in her mind. "I haven't been paying attention."

"Nine."

"You need to wait until you're nine, Nunnally."

"But -"

Vincent laughed. "A few years really isn't that long. Besides, it's more fun when you are older."

"How would you know?" Lulu mumbled. She leaned into his touch as he pushed some damp strands of hair from her sweaty forehead.

"Why, it's a surprise to see you three getting along so well." Marianne said, seemingly coming out of nowhere.

Lulu gaped at her mother, instinctively uncomfortable at being seen so soon afterwards. Was she still flushed? Would her mother know? What they did was probably wrong - Marianne said not to let anyone touch her there, and she did. Vincent trailed his fingers down her cheek and neck, making no attempt to conceal his transgression.

"How did your conversation go with C.C.?" He asked.

"Fine. She's mad, as we both figured. But you agree don't you?" Marianne turned away, towards the Imperial palace, with a distant look in her eyes. "This is the only way for him to stay on track. Besides then I won't feel like such a pedophile." She giggled and brought her attention back to the trio.

"Charles would be then."

"What's another ten years?"

"Will C.C. still agree when the time comes?"

Marianne sighed. "I still want to go through with it."

"Mama?" Nunnally's voice sounded weak and frightened.

"Nothing, girls, it's not something for children to worry over."

Word balanced on the top of Lulu's tongue, like she normally would have some sort of snarky response to that comment. Vincent smiled, and murmured praise into the fabric of her dress. Marianne picked up the copy of Gulliver's Travels she must have grabbed from the library and sat on the edge of the blanket. Her mother opened to the page that she left off at the day before, reading the adventure aloud to the girls, and now V.V. too. Lulu drifted off to sleep not long after.

Lelouch heaved, supported only by Schneizel's arms. He held her shaking body; thankfully the hair tie Kallen provided kept his wife's hair back. The Knight of the Rounds fretted over her friend, but they both knew that nothing could be done. She took off her gloves, and chomped at her nails. A dirty nasty habit he would ask her not to do in his presence again later.

How many memories did Charles alter? Or was her mind doing more than just providing flashbacks? He glanced away from Lelouch's red-rimmed eyes to her younger sister. Nunnally mastered the mask, appearing serene despite the situation. The only indication of discomfort was her slightly scrunched nose from the putrid scent of vomit.

It felt like an eternity for Lulu's slow even breathing to quicken. The staring contest between Nunnally and Schneizel ended, as all eyes were on the Empress when the rings fade. She sobbed. Lelouch dug her nails into his forearm and violently shook her head.

"No. No. No. No."

Perhaps he made a mistake.

All this time - all this time was nothing but a lie. The rose colored tint of her childhood became clear, as memories vanished and came into being. Her fear of Nunnally, her hatred of V.V., her awkward friendship with C.C.; everything suppressed floated back to the surface. Emotions swirled in conflicting order, battling to decide which would prevail.

Which ones was reality? Her Father had the ability to rewrite memories, and Nunnally could manipulate the heart - Was her hatred of the royal family truly her own? Did she really hate their Father? How much of her revenge was truly her own? Every time she held Nunnally's hand she felt that power, the one she attributed to simply psychic ability. She thought the fuzzy feeling was simply Nunnally's love manifest.

Even with the geass canceller, Lulu was still a mess. She recalled her emotions before the contact and the altered version after. That meant the first was correct, right? When she started to doubt herself, and Nunnally became sick, Lulu awoke the next morning with new resolve after cuddling all night. Did that mean she should have stopped then? Is this what Schneizel meant when he criticized her rebellion the day she removed the eyepatch?

Her throat burnt as more memories of her childhood invaded her consciousness. She already relived it. There was no reason to ponder her false affection for V.V. during the month between her first time and when the Emperor sent them away to Japan. No wonder I didn't bleed with Suzaku. She laughed. The crazed cackles caused the twins to wake and cry tiny infant screams.

"Lulu, I'm sorry." Schneizel apologized for the second time that day. He smoothed down her hair and kissed her damp temple. "Let's go. You need to nurse the twins."

"Wait."

The babies were startled more than anything. Kallen already had them mildly soothed, although she couldn't argue that some milk would put them back to sleep sooner. Lelouch lifted her head and stared at Nunnally through watered eyes. Her dearest little sister, the one she devoted her life to, destroyed the world for, and so much more, was a demon at heart. Or was that a lie too? She couldn't make heads or tails of her own emotions, what right did she have to judge Nunnally?

The actions she took were her own. She couldn't pass those off on anyone else for whatever reason. She would have hated Charles after he sent them away, probably. The world was better off for her actions. That certainly was a convenient excuse but why not play the numbers game? For how many people she slaughtered, how many more were saved from the Damocles? Without geass, without her rebellion, without the events of the last year, would Schneizel have been forced to use it to acquire the throne?

Schneizel.

With all the new information, she neglected to tally what was lost. The moments she shared with Schneizel - playing chess, him hiding her from an irate Gabriel, and that stupid promise he held her to, and so much more... they were gone. All that remained was a memory of a memory, if that even made sense. He wasn't there for her childhood. The first time really she saw him was on a giant TV screen in Tokyo. He made some announcement as the Prime Minister, one she completely ignored on her way to the grocery store.

She flinched when Nunnnally's hand came in contact with her bare arm, forced out of her thought process. Schneizel tensed against her back, undoubtedly more afraid of those hands than she. "Do you hate me, Big Sister?"

"No." She breathed, and pulled out of her husband's embrace and dropped down to her knees. Lelouch squeezed Nunnally's small waist, which drew a comical squeak from the younger sibling. "I could never hate you Nunnally."

Schneizel loomed over them. The grass crunched under his boots as he bent down to pick up a small pair of black gloves from the ground - A pair of Anya's old Knight of the Round gloves, no doubt grabbed in haste. Nunnally took them off while they were all distracted by Lelouch's questionable wellbeing.

"Do not uncover your hands again, Nunnally dear. Otherwise I will become very cross with you." He slipped the gloves over the young teen's hands, and stepped back to join Kallen.

The twins wailing died down to a discontent whimper. He called back to Lelouch, reminding her to feed them. His eyes were hard against his relaxed features. A tense smile converted to something almost genuine in response to Lelouch's elated demeanor. Anything was an improvement from before. He didn't discount the dark shadow or the fear that by alleviating one sorrow he created another.

A/N: A lot of delays lately for all my fics, which I do apologize for. Stupid life. Anyway, here is the latest for CM... I'm pretty sure this fic is going to get deleted at some point so I also am updating on Ao3 too with the same screen name.

Read and review! I think this one was my creepiest yet ^^