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Just the Beginning
The doctors hadn't allowed me to stay the night, so I went home and got everything prepared. I brought my car the following morning.
"So, doctor is there anything else?" I said, walking back into Jesse's room with Dr. Syper.
"These are all of Jesse's meds. He's already had his morning dose. There are a few lunch time pills. You might want to check and see which ones." Dr. Spyer said, handing me a bag of pills.
"What are all these for?" I said.
"Well, he's on two different pain relievers. One is for the day one is for the night. Calcium, couple of antibiotics, and joint medicine." Dr. Syper said, as I placed them in my purse.
"What are the antibiotics for? Do I have an infection?" Jesse said.
"No, just to prevent it. You have severe injuries which could easily become infected. So until you come in to get your walking cast in six weeks you are going to take those." Dr. Syper said.
"How long am I going to be in a walking cast?" Jesse said.
"Six weeks and hopefully you will be able to start physical therapy then with out a brace but it depends on your growth." Dr. Syper said.
"Anything else." I said.
"Nope, you are free to go. If you have any problems please call, and, Rebecca, I would like to talk to you some more about the work you did. It's amazing that as young as you are you accomplished such feats." Dr. Syper said.
"Ok. Well I'll be back with Jesse...in six weeks." I said, feeling slightly confused.
"Until then." Dr. Syper said, finally leaving.
"What was that about?" Jesse asked, as I pushed him out to the car in his wheel chair.
"I have no clue." I said, laughing a nervous laugh. He kinda creeped me out and with what just happened...it's hard to trust strangers.
Getting Jesse in the car was an interesting task. "Alright, babe, I need you to wrap your good arm around my neck as tightly as you can. We will stand on three, turn, and sit. And don't put any weight on your left leg." I said. I felt like I was coaching him through choreography. It brought a smile to my face.
"Ok. What if I hurt you?" Jesse said.
I rolled my eyes at him and said, "I'm not the person with serious injuries here. Now stop stalling." I said, sliding my arms under his and around his back. Jesse stubbornly did not wrap his good arm around me.
I stood up and said, "You can help me or I can do this alone. I don't care if I get hurt right now. My priority is taking care of you."
"Who's going to take care of you?" Jesse said.
"Do we have to talk about this right now?" I said. He wanted to talk about my feelings and I didn't want to break down...not in a parking lot.
"When we get home then." Jesse said.
"Ok. Now get that arm around my neck." I said, wrapping my arms around him again. This time Jesse tightly wrapped his right arm around my neck. Standing, turning, and sitting was a breeze after that. Getting his broken leg in the car was difficult though. I had to push the seat all the way back and still shove his leg in.
"Comfortable?" I asked, as I folded the wheel chair and put it in the back seat.
"Yep. What about you? Was that weird or did you get hurt?" Jesse asked.
"No it wasn't weird and no I didn't get hurt. I've done this millions of times before, so just relax." I said, before going to the driver's side.
"What about going to the bathroom and showering? Is that going to be weird for you?" Jesse asked, as I pulled out of the parking lot.
"Well...we can do whatever you are comfortable with. The doctor did provide a urinal, but I personally think moving you to the toilet would be easier and for showering well until you get your boot we have to sponge bathe. That cast will stink if it gets wet." I said.
"So, none of this is going to be weird or anything?" Jesse asked.
"Is it weird for you?" I said.
"No...well...maybe. I haven't made up my mind." Jesse said.
"What I'm doing is no different then what your mother would be doing. Would you prefer her? I'm sure your mom would help." I said.
"No...it's not that. It's just...I can't think of you as my mother." Jesse said.
"Well...think of me as something that makes you comfortable or allow me to get someone who will." I said.
"Ok." Jesse said, as I pulled into the drive way.
Getting Jesse out of the car was easy enough. I was pulling Jesse in backwards and trying to turn on the light when I heard someone in the house. I left the light off, turned, and said, "Hello?"
"Surprise?" Aly said. I saw Aly, AJ, Stephanie, Jesse's parents, and Josh.
"You could say that." I said, pulling Jesse all the way in.
"What are they doing here?" Jesse whispered to me as I leaned over him to shut the door and turn on the light.
"I didn't invite them. Don't worry, I'll handle this." I whispered in his ear before kissing the top of his head.
"We should've called you. But we have been worried about both of you. No word until Steph found your note when we stopped by this morning." Aly said.
I remembered the note I wrote : 'We'll be back soon. We are at the hospital. Don't worry and don't cancel anything.
-Becca'
"Who leaves that kind of note and doesn't expect people wanting answers?" AJ asked.
"This is no the time for this. We obviously have had a bad couple days." I said.
"Just tell us what happened." Ginger, Jesse's mom, said.
"I was in a car wreck." Jesse said.
After the appropriate 'Oh my God's and 'Oh no's, Josh said, "What happened to you, Rebecca?"
Tears burned my eyes as I felt everyone scrutinizing my bruises. "I don't want to talk about it." I said, my voice uneven from trying not to break down.
"What happened?" Aly demanded.
"Aly, please, dont now." I said, a few tears streaming down.
"Rebecca!" Aly said, in frustration.
"Aly! Leave her alone! Tomorrow...wait until tomorrow. Rebecca and I haven't even been able to talk about everything that has gone on. All I can tell you is...Josh, we'll need our lawyer. Just go home. Stephanie, please go with the Michalka's. Come back after noon tomorrow. I promise everything will be explained then." Jesse said, as I tried not to break down behind him.
"Fine." Aly said, locking her jaw in annoyance.
Jesse's parents were the last to leave. Ginger stopped and said, "Rebecca, are you sure you can handle this?"
"Of course. We'll be fine." I said, giving her a smile.
"Well...if you need me just call." Ginger said.
"Yeah, I know. Thanks." I said.
"Stop dawdling Mom." Jesse said.
"Sorry dear." She said, finally leaving.
"Do you want to sit on the couch?" I said.
"Yeah. Can you put my left side near the arm of the couch? I want you to be on my right side." Jesse said.
After getting Jesse situated, I slowly sat down next to him. Everything ached. I wish I could just tell Jesse what kind of pain I'm in...but we aren't really like that yet. It's a little hard for me to say not only my feelings but how my body feels because we haven't gotten that physical with each other. I don't want to have to hold back but I don't know if he can handle everything.
"Tell me everything that's going on in your head. I want to understand your feelings to help you. Rebecca, when I came to get you that day I had something very serious to ask you. I had tried before but it didn't work out." Jesse said.
"I'm confused." I said.
"Rebecca, you are so good to me. Let's share our feeling now. Have a heart-to-heart moment. We don't ever have much time for each other and now no one and nothing can stop us from having time. We need to talk about this, before I tell you my question." Jesse said.
"Ok. Jesse...it's hard to explain my feelings. I'm trying to block them out right now." I said, as he pulled me closer to him, wrapping his good arm around me.
"I'll tell one of mine first then. I feel so guilty for what happened to you. I blame myself for the car accident. If I had stopped to think rationally then none of this would have happened. You wouldn't be under so much physical and emotional distress right now." Jesse said.
"Jesse, don't blame yourself. If you do, I deserve some blame too. I could've stopped this from happening a long time ago. Deavon had been coming on to me since the beginning, and the first time he attacked me I should've come forward. I didn't. I could've stayed home, instead of going to the studio. I could've quit. I had so many options that could've stopped all of this from happening, but I didn't." I said.
"You didn't because you are tough. You stick it out. One of the million reasons I love you. You are so brave. You deal with so much more than you should. You spend your time taking care of not only yourself, but your friends, your family, random strangers, and me. I know I'm a handful." Jesse said, a little sarcastically with the last sentence.
I chuckled, and on a more serious note said, "You know that even if Deavon hadn't attacked me that day...he could've later."
"That's why everything is his fault. If he hadn't hurt you, we wouldn't be here. But think...then we wouldn't have the chance to grow in our love if not." Jesse said.
"You always find the positive side of things." I said.
"Is that bad?" Jesse asked.
"Never." I said.
"Good. Another feeling. I'm scared. I don't know what to expect with this whole situation. I'm scared of you getting hurt even further. I'm scared that things won't work. I'm scared that everything that could've ever gone wrong did. I don't know what to do." Jesse admitted.
"I don't either, but I do know that the only thing that makes sense right now is being here with you. I wouldn't ever be able to make it alone. I'm scared of course. With everything you said except I'm not worried about myself. I'm afraid you will be uncomfortable with me taking care of you, and that things will be awkward. I'm scared of the future with the whole case. I don't know how I'm going to handle court. I've never had to go to court. I've never had even a speeding ticket. I don't know what to expect." I said.
"I think that's like everyone's biggest fear...not knowing." Jesse said.
"Yeah, some times...but not knowing can be good to. Life does have those happy surprises. It would ruin it all if we knew how our lives would turn out." I said, with a smile.
"Now you are seeing the positive side that I haven't." Jesse said, smiling back.
"So another positive note...we get to laugh as I try to figure out how to change you in casts." I said.
"That will be interesting." Jesse said. He had a thoughtful look on his face for a minute and said, "Are you ready for my question?"
"No." I said, after thinking a second. "I want to tell you some thing else. It's hard to say this. I'm in so much pain right now, and I have no clue how I'm handling it. I feel broken...my body and soul. Like someone tried to cut me in half but didn't all the way. I can tell that I'm healing. I feel like part of me has been stolen." I said, pausing to take a breath. "A part that I had been saving for you. A part I wanted to share with you forever. I know this might be fast or whatever, but Jesse, I love you so much, and I can't even imagine my life without..." I tried to finish but I was interrupted by Jesse kissing me.
It was one of those kisses that you will never forget because it was so amazing. At that moment I knew that Jesse felt the same. It was just the matter of taking the next step.
Jesse's hand moved from my upper back to my lower back and a terrible memory shot through me. I never wanted to see something like that when I was kissing Jesse...nothing about Jesse could make me disgusted with him like I am with Deavon. But as the memory shot through me I jumped back. Fear coursing through me. I was so confused. Jesse was to...it was so clear. His face showed it...it also showed sadness of rejection.
"I...I don't know what that was. I'm sorry." I said, softly touching his face.
"What do you mean 'what that was'? What happened? Is something wrong?" Jesse said.
"It's not you...really. It's me. I had a flash...a memory flash of the...incident. I don't know why. I didn't want to remember that. I don't want to re-live those memories, when I'm trying to make better ones with you." I said, shaking from the confusion as tears ran down my face.
"It's not your fault, babe. You are still tramatized. I should've realized that this might happen." Jesse said, pulling me as close as he could.
"What do I do? Am I going to be re-living that nightmare all the time?" I said.
"No, no. You just have to let it go. It's going to take time." Jesse said.
"I don't have eternity." I said.
"You do with me. If you want me. Like you said about not living without me, I am the same. Will you marry me? Say yes and forever is a promise. I won't let anything else happen to you. I will take care of you." Jesse said.
I was so stunned...I had thought Jesse was too scared to do anything this big. I blinked back a wave of exhaustion. I was not going to faint. "Am I dreaming?" I said, still stunned.
"Not unless I'm having the same dream." Jesse said.
"Whoa...this is really happening. Wow! Oh...yeah...you want an answer." I said.
"That would be nice. Rather than having me sit on the edge of my seat with anticipation." Jesse said.
"Of course I will marry you! I have been waiting for this for so long." I said, softly kissing him. "This has to be real. I will kill if I wake up." I rambled on. Jesse pinched me. "Ow! Hey! This is real. Oh my god! This is just...!" I said, with a huge smile and hugging him.
I know...crazy. I wasn't going to do this chapter this way, but I LOVE it! I hope you did too! Please tell me in a little review!
LOTS of LOVE,
FROGGY2045