The ride to Dr. Mendez's office was quiet, as it always was. They both knew that this time there was much more at stake if the test results came back with a poor result. Tommy knew she'd refuse treatment and it would kill him to watch her go like that, just to save their children. He knew he couldn't beg her to do it for him, when she would never forgive herself for what it would do to the babies if she survived and they didn't.
"Are you worried?" Tommy asked as Kim barely nodded her head yes. "It'll be fine, Kim."
"You are always the positive one when it comes to finding out the results, you worry for weeks ahead of time," Kim said as he placed his hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. He hated these visits as much as she did, but he always felt a need to make her feel more comfortable. "Thanks, Tommy."
"Come on, let's get this over with," Tommy said as he walked around to her side and helped her out. There were definitely going to be problems with continuing to use his jeep much longer for any sort of traveling. He could see the pain in her face as her feet hit the ground and knew that her car probably would have been better, but it was too late for that.
"Dr. Mendez is always glad to see you," Karen said as Kim and Tommy walked up and she gave both of them hugs. "And look at you, when are you due?"
"Mid-January, but I don't think they'll let me last that long," Kim said as Karen gave her a confused look. "I'm having twins."
"Twins?" Karen asked as Kim nodded. "He insists on the gown, as usual."
"For the love of God," Kim muttered as Karen left the room and Tommy took a few steps back. He did not want to get into her firing path if he could help it. "It's not like to will cover all of me anymore."
"Kim, you might want to get used to it," Tommy said, gently, as he helped her out of her clothes and into the gown. The first time he had ever helped her like this had been the day he proposed. He had been scared to death to help her then, knowing that she might not want him to view her body. Now he did not think so much as do for her what she needed. It came along with being married to her as she had gone through all of this.
"Thank you," Kim whispered as he secured the tie and she turned around to face him. "You won't leave?"
"I promise, he'll have to have security haul me out," Tommy said as she smiled as they heard Dr. Mendez clear his throat.
"How are you doing?" Dr. Mendez asked as Kim walked over to the bed and slowly forced herself onto it. Any linear movement was hard for her now, as everyone that knew her was realizing. "I guess the better question is have the babies looked after you?"
"Kicker seems to feel my ribs are target practice," Kim said moving her hand over his pounding feet. "Sleepy only fights back when he invades her space."
"Well, your test results were not bad Kim, I've seen much worse from you before, but there is cause for concern. Your levels are up slightly," Dr. Mendez said as Kim closed her eyes and clutched to Tommy's hand. She felt as if she was going to be sick and knew that Tommy was keeping a calm façade for her sake. "It can partially be attributed to the pregnancy, your hormones are all over the place Kimberly, but I want to take some more blood and do a CAT scan just to be on the safe side. I want to disprove these results if I can."
"Today?" Kim asked as Dr. Mendez nodded his head yes. "Are you sure that I can even do a CAT scan with the babies?"
"You can, I checked with the gynecology department and they assured me this will do nothing to the babies," Dr. Mendez said as Kim nodded and then looked over at him. "I don't think it's a relapse Kimberly, but we have to make sure, especially with you being pregnant."
"You know I'll refuse treatment," Kim said as Dr. Mendez barely nodded. He had had no doubt that Kim would refuse treatment, but he knew that it would kill Tommy if he lost her and the children because of the disease.
"Until they are born and in ten weeks, you could have them if there is a reason to take them early," Dr. Mendez said as Kim nodded and Tommy let out a shaky breath. He needed to be alone with his thoughts and a toilet, but that was not going to happen anytime soon. "I'll get blood and then we'll get you in the scanner."
"Okay," Kim said, quietly, as she looked over at Tommy and saw the years rolling down his cheeks unchecked. "Tommy…"
"I'll be fine, Kim," Tommy whispered as he continued to stare at the ground, he could not bring himself to meet her eyes.
"Look at me," Kim gently prompted and he forced himself to lift his eyes and meet hers. "Nothing is for sure yet, we've gone through this before."
"But not with…" Tommy started as she gave him a very weak smile. It was killing him to even think about choosing between his unborn children and his wife, she could only hope that he wouldn't have to do this, it was just a bad day when he took the blood the last time.
"Call Jason when we get home, it'll make you feel better," Kim said as Tommy nodded and Dr. Mendez stuck her in the arm, which caused her to flinch, but otherwise not do anything else.
"You'll have to come back in for the appointment next week to get the results," Dr. Mendez said as Kim nodded. The young couple in front of him had been through far too much and he hated to do this now, but he could not ignore the facts that something was a little bit off with Kimberly.
"You'll be fine?" Tommy asked as she laid down in their bed and nodded. It had taken longer than either of them expected, but Dr. Mendez had told her not to worry and she wasn't. Tommy, however, was a nervous wreck and doing enough worrying for the both of them.
"Yeah, go call Jason," Kim said as Tommy gave her a kiss on the cheek and nodded that he would.
"Jason," Tommy said as he heard someone pick up the phone.
"Hi Tommy, Jason's not home at the moment," Kat said as Tommy groaned. "You could always call him on his cell phone."
"Can you ask him to call me when he gets home?" Tommy asked as Kat set the plate down that she was drying and walked into the front room. Jason had asked her to keep all his phone calls away tonight, but it seemed that Tommy was desperate to speak with him.
"He just walked in," Kat said as Jason looked over at the outstretched phone. "It's Tommy and he sounds like someone just stole his puppy."
"Hey," Jason said as he gave his wife a hard look and accepted the phone. "What's going on?"
"It might be back," Tommy stated as Jason lost his grip on the phone for a moment and then scrambled to pick it up. "Yeah, my reaction too."
"You don't know for sure?" Jason asked as Tommy let out a slow breath. "When will you find out?"
"Next week, we were brought in to do extra lab work today. I can't lose her Jason," Tommy all but sobbed as Jason took in the news.
"I know, you sound like you need to talk to her, not me," Jason said as Tommy's eyes narrowed. He needed someone who could comfort him, because he was having to throw all of his energies into comforting his wife at the moment.
"I can't upset her Jason, I've got to be strong for her, otherwise she'll… I have to decide which is more important, but she's not going to treat herself if she is given the choice," Tommy said as Jason nodded.
"And you are thinking that the two of you can have more children, but you can't get her back if she dies," Jason said as Tommy nodded miserably. He knew it would earn him a spot on the couch to say that to Kim. "Tommy, go hold your wife and tell her that everything will be fine. You are her only comfort."
"I don't know if I can," Tommy said as he felt her hand resting on his back. "Hey."
"I can't sleep," Kim whispered as her arms reached for him and he pulled her in tight.
"I'll be off the phone with Jason in a minute," Tommy whispered to her as she nodded and continued to hold onto him.
"Be strong Tommy, it's probably just a false alarm, everything will be fine," Jason said as Tommy nodded. "Tell Kim I said hi and to take care of herself."
"I will," Tommy said as he hung up and looked down at his wife. "I can't lose you."
"Tommy, we'll make it through this," Kim whispered as she looked up at him. "I need you to not let me go."
"I don't plan on it," Tommy whispered as his arms wound around her and he pulled her into a kiss. He tried to put everything he felt for her into that one action and heard the sigh of contentment that left her lips when they parted. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Kim whispered as he gently lifted her and carried her to their bedroom. She was asleep before he placed her in bed and he smiled as he watched her sleep soundly. He honestly doubted he'd get any sleep tonight and school tomorrow would be hell for him, but he'd somehow survive. He had no choice about it at this point.