hey guys soooooo sorry it took so long but good news! i just finished up my sports so i will have more time too write! Woo hoo! Hope you enjoy the epic darkness in this chapter. mwahahahaha ) *laughs demonicly while rubbing hands together in an evil way* anywho have fun reading...and crying...but yeah as always read and review! reviews always make us happy. So have you guys scene the pics from drew roy?! he posted them on twitter/facebook/instgram so yeah go check them out (oh and try not to hate Hal) -Alyssa
So uh sorry for the late update it was my fault again...Please don't kill me:] Haha Life is crazay my Hellians. Very crazay. But i stayed up until 12:11 am at Alyssa's house as she interrogates me about what food I do like and what i don't like and yelling at me for not liking a lot of food. Haha XD Anyways enjoy my lovelies. -Kaylee
Chapter 21-Battle Scars
Alyssa's POV
I think I actually slept for maybe ten whole minutes before I woke up again. I couldn't sleep, the whole incident with my father made me jittery, I thought he was dead and now, almost two years later I find out he is actually alive, and almost joined the 2nd Mass. I sat back up thinking of Charleston and all the things they supposedly had. A nice, hot, real shower sounded pretty good right now, a real bed in an actual room, maybe an ice cold beer; that all sounded pretty good to me. I sighed and looked over at Hal, in the driver seat of the truck we were driving. It was on old beat up pickup truck that only seats two, but it sure carried a lot of supplies in the back. It had a custom radio system installed. It was the newest model of its kind combined with some vintage parts.
"What are you staring at?" Hal asked.
"The radio system. It's nice. Someone obviously put a lot of time and money into it. I used to have some kinda like that in my car."
"You weren't old enough to drive though." He looked confused. When will he figure out I don't really listen to the rules?
"So? I still knew how. Plus I knew all the cops. I was at the police station enough, getting Kaylee out of trouble, or my dad, or because I was in trouble. They knew my dad and all the home issues but my dad's company paid the station enough money to not do anything. Plus they would rather have me driving than my dad."
"True, true. So did you build it?"
"From scratch, this one is better because it is an actual radio with some vintage parts in it, so it can play and iPod or iPhone, CD, radio, or a cassette tape. I remember whenever I used to drive my sister, we would listen to Radio Disney and she knew every song on the station, and when every any of us were going to a sporting event, we had a special CD of pre-game music we would blast and we all had the same playlist on our iPods, so if we could listen to it if we weren't in that car."
"Nice," he laughed. "What was on the playlist?"
"Some Black Eyed Peas, P!nk," I started messing around with the cassettes in the truck, wondering if I could get it to play, "the song Remember The Name, a band Kaylee liked, Nickelback, Eminem, Metalica, the song Hall Of Fame, just a bunch of really up beat songs." I found a cassette tape that would work and hotwired the player, but I could only get the cassettes to play. "And my sister's personal favorite." the music started playing and Hal laughed. I hadn't heard this song in so long it made me smile. I started to sing along.
" A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you
Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky."
"Is that the song from Aladdin?" Hal questioned me.
"Yeah, it was my sister and I's favorite princess movie. My sister said the song was like playing sports. It's a whole different world you get to live in for however long you play. Forget about everything else."
"Yeah I see that. Aladdin was Matt's favorite movie, too."
"He has good taste in movies." Just then the car in front of us slowed down and pretty soon our whole caravan of cars and people where all stopped. "I'm gonna go see what's up" I said as I hopped out. I jogged up to the front to see what's going on. I spotted Weaver talking to Tom; they were both looking at a map. "Hey what happened?"
Weaver looked up. "Bathroom break." Then he looked back down and continued talking to Tom.
"Oh Okay, Tom, where is Ben?" The look on his face when he looked up was enough to give me my answer, and tell me I shouldn't have asked. Mental note: don't cross paths with Kaylee, she is probably pissed as hell right now.
As I was heading back to our car, I ran into Matt as he was walking out of the Med Bus. "Hey Matt. What's up?" I smiled.
He looked so sad, and so much older "Nothing," he said, his voice monotone.
"Why so sad?"
He stared at me for a second "Well everyone says we are gonna die and…and I don't want to die."
"Hey, come with me. I have a surprise for you." I grabbed his hand and led him to the truck. He hopped in between Hal and me. I restarted the song and as soon as it started, his eyes lit up. "Sing with me," I said.
"I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming
A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you
Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky
A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be
A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me."
"How did you get that to work?!" he asked, smiling bright.
I just smiled "Magic." He laughed. "Don't be so sad. And remember, fuck what everyone else says." He nodded. "Have you seen Kaylee at all?"
"Yeah, she's asleep on the Med Bus," he said.
"Okay, well will you do me a favor and go watch her for me? Keep her company on the trip to Charleston?" he nodded and ran back to the Med Bus. A few moments later, we started moving out again.
"That was really nice. He hasn't heard that song in so long. I don't think I have seen him this happy since the day we got Ben back."
I smiled. "Just doing my job. He seems so bummed out, with Ben gone and all. I mean who knows when he'll come back."
"WHAT?! Ben fucking left?! When?! AND HOW DID YOU KNOW?"
"Wait he didn't tell you? He fucking promised me he would tell you! Yeah I just asked your dad, he left when we headed out for Charleston. Didn't you know?"
"He said he wanted to leave. I didn't think he actually would go, or that my dad would let him go. And what did you mean "he promised me he would tell you"? Did you know before me?"
"I was the first to know," I admitted.
"And did you tell him no fucking way? Please tell me you didn't encourage him." Hal was getting mad now. I had to be really careful with what I said.
"I didn't do either."
"HOW DID YOU NOT-"
"Hal," I interrupted, but he just continued.
"SAY NO FUCKING WAY HELL NO DON'T-"
"Hal-"
"LEAVE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY AND STOP HIM?!"
"Hal Mason listen to me," he paused. "Just hear me out."
"Fine," he said, icily.
"Have I ever told you why I prefer knives to guns? Like besides my mom, because before my mom I always liked knives better?"
"No. But what does this have to do with Ben?" I just looked at him. "Fine. No more interrupting."
"It was because I was better at a using a knife that my older brother. My good-at-everything-member-of-the-marine-corps-stra ight-A-student-perfect-athletic older brother. He went into the Marines and was on his way to becoming a Navy Seal when he died in battle. He was great at everything he did, except throwing a knife. Now sometimes people don't realize I was a middle child, like your brother, I was always being compared to my older brother. I think it's why Ben and I got along so well in the beginning. Now let me guess, Ben was always compared to you in school, you were the popular, athletic older brother and he was the nerd. Your parents always went to your sporting events, but he didn't have things like that for your parents to go to. He felt like a disappointment. And I'll bet you anything he wanted to be a role model for Matt but Matt wanted to be like his big brother Hal, never like his big brother Ben. That hurts, Hal. I know this because I felt all this. My sister wanted to be in the army just like her big brother. See I never thought I had the self control and the discipline to do it. Ben feels like he's always living in your shadow and he is. I see it Hal. You don't because you're the oldest."
"How does this have anything to do with the current situation?" he was still pissed as fuck.
"Because Ben has finally found the thing he is better at then you. No one else could do it. Admit it, you could never do what he is doing. I couldn't. You do realize that if Ben succeeds, he could change the face of the war."
"That still doesn't change the fact that he could die and I'll never see him again!"
"I get that you're worried, but doesn't knowing that what he is doing is for the greater good, that he is putting his life on the line for everyone else make you proud of him. I know it made me proud of him. Just like it made me proud of my brother. Ben will come back. He has the most motivation to live."
"MOTIVATION WON'T SAVE HIS LIFE, ALYSSA!"
"YES IT WILL! You're an athlete, you should know, motivation and the will to do something can make a person unstoppable. It helped the Americans win the Revolutionary War." He just stared at me. "Its something that I remember about history, when the Americans where fighting the British. The British were fighting away from their home, it was just a job they were forced to do, and after that they had to go fight another war somewhere else, the Americans on the other hand where fighting for everything they loved, fighting for their freedom. The skitters are like the British and we are the Americans. We have the motivation to win. And your brother has the most motivation ever. That is why I know he will come back. Just trust me."
"You sound like my dad with all that history crap."
"Just think about it, okay? And when he comes back, you could be a little more supportive of him because lets be honest we all know we need the rebel skitters and Ben is the only one with enough balls to go out there and find them," I said.
"Fine," he growled. I turned the cassette tape on again. He reached his hand over took it out. I put in a new one, You'll Be In My Heart form Tarzan, and hummed the lyrics as we sat in a very tense silence. Whoever owned this truck preinvasion, really loved Disney.
"Hey I have a question." Hal broke the silence after about an hour of driving.
"Yeah?"
"Well your dad said something. When I said I was your boyfriend, he asked if I knocked you up too? What did he mean?"
"Oh you caught that?"
Kaylee's POV
My feet were carrying me through blackness, stumbling at every step I took. It was impossible to see anything that was in front, beside, or behind me and I had no idea where I was supposed to turn or where I was even heading in the first place. There were no sounds, smells, or anything around that I could touch to figure out where I was running aimlessly through. Perhaps I was running through my black heart.
That was theory I decided to go with, until the scene changed into one I knew much too well. The scene that plagued my mind day and night, especially in my nightmares.
I found myself standing before a two story building with one window that extended across the entire width of the wall on the first story as well as one on the second story. The building was consumed by flames which were bursting from everywhere on the building, except for the windows. Two ice cold hands latched around my forearms, and when I looked back, they didn't belong to a person.
They belonged to an Overlord.
I let out a shout and tried kicking and thrashing and every move of combat I knew, only this bastard wasn't fazed by anything I was doing to it. Its 'hands' only tightened around my arms in a crushing grip. "I'm afraid struggling is useless, Miss Parker."
"How come I can hear you?" I spat out and elbowed the fleshy skin of the Overlord towering over me.
"I'm allowing you to hear me, through your thoughts." Its voice was eerie and made chills run through my veins.
"Why am I here?! What the hell do you want with me?!" I shouted at it and tried yanking an arm free, and the alien twisted that arm painfully back.
"You are quite an important piece in all of this, Miss Parker. If only you could see your full potential…" The creepy voice in my head trailed off.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Think of all the things you could achieve… with some minor improvements." A skitter crawled in front of the burning building and in front of me, holding something that honestly gave me the creeps more than anything.
A harness. A living, wriggling, screeching harness.
"You honestly expect me to join the things that killed people I love and destroyed the planet I live on? Dream on."
"I would reconsider, Miss Parker, before it's too late," the voice warned me, making me want to rip it right out of my head. It pulled back my head by my hair and stared at me as I stared back at it, refusing to cower in front of something that ruined humanity. "You and Tom Mason's son could be of excellent use to us. Although I doubt you could handle it."
"You don't know me," I said through gritted teeth. I couldn't handle it?
The Overlord yanked my head back up to normal level and forced me to stare at the windows. Figures appeared in the window, screaming. And one by one, I began recognizing each one that materialized in the window. Everyone I loved was looking through the glass at me. "NO!" I yelled, thrashing wildly to save them all. Each of their screams echoed in my ears and sent slits through my heart. When I tried looking away, the Overlord forced me to look forward until every single one of them turned to bones and ash. I screamed and shouted and kicked and did everything I could to get out of this damn thing's grip, but it was no use. My legs gave out from under me, and the alien yanked my head up again and forced me to look at the window once more. This time, there was one face staring back at mine.
Ben's.
"NO! YOU HAVE TO STOP!" I cried out, literally trying to rip my arm out of its socket to break free and save Ben. "STOP THIS, PLEASE!"
The second I took a breath, the most horrifying, gut-wrenching pain emerged from my back. I don't think I've ever in my life screamed out as loud as now, nor have I ever been in this much pain in my entire life. The white-hot pain reached farther and farther into my back, until it hit my spine and sent the most unbearable crushing feeling through my body. I couldn't even choke back tears of pain.
"Weakness. Sentiment. You are useless without the ones you love, Miss Parker. Luckily for you, they will be nothing but a hazy memory." The Overlord dropped me and I fell forward onto my stomach, grabbing the curb to try and make the pain stop.
And just like that, everything started going black. The pain, the street in front of me, my tangled hair, and the faces that were in the window. And eventually, everything went dark.
And once I opened my eyes again, all I saw was an ashen face staring at me through a glass window.
"KAYLEE!"
A sob emerged from my throat as my eyes ripped open. Tears were all over my cheeks, my throat was raspy from screaming, and my heart was beating faster than it has before. Once I remembered that I was not in front of a burning building with the people I loved inside it, and that I did not have a harness on my back, I was able to take a short and shaky breath. The unbearable pain returned, though, and it hurt so badly that my body was numb. Almost as if I was harnessed and experiencing the non-stop pain.
After collapsing to the floor in the forest, I was moved into the Med Bus by who I assumed was Weaver or Anne. We had been on the road to Charleston for an hour tops, and I must have fallen asleep. One thing was certain: I wouldn't be making that mistake again soon.
"Are you okay?! You were screaming and crying and I was trying to wake you up but you just kept-"
"I'm okay, Matt," I whispered hoarsely, wiping my wet cheeks with my hoodie sleeve.
Matt's arms encircled me in a hug. "It'll be alright, Kaylee. I promise."
I'm pretty sure it'll never be okay again, I thought. But I plastered a weak smile onto my face at how Matt was trying to comfort me. It was going to take a hell of a lot more than 'I'm sorry' and 'Everything's going to be okay.' "Thanks a lot, Matt," I hugged him tightly and tried to suppress another round of shaky breaths.
"Did you have a bad dream?" he asked and sat down beside me.
I nodded and sniffled. "Yeah." I wiped my eyes and tried to relax.
"What was it about?"
"Just about some aliens trying to kill the 2nd Mass," I told him. Matt looked at me uneasily and completely unconvinced, but I didn't have the energy to come up with a better lie. Talking about nightmares made them worse for me.
"How long was I asleep, Matt?"
"About thirty minutes." He pulled out the journal he decided to start keeping and began writing something down in there about Charleston.
Thirty minutes, huh? Guess that's all I'd be getting the next few weeks.
I've been through the deepest parts of hell, that is the one thing I am absolutely positive of, but never have I ever visited the rock bottom of torture. Never in my life has the pain been this brutal, and never in my life have I cried. Never in my life have I wanted to pull the trigger so badly to stop feeling this horrid. I have never broken down in front of anyone nor have I ever let anyone see weakness. All of this was the worst torture you could put me through. Give me physical pain; break my leg, put bullets through my stomach, cut an artery out. But, emotional pain, that's the one where I crack at how much it hurts.
And I never really understood that until now.
The thing I can't grasp is how much of an effect this has had on me. How is it that I have suffered through being orphaned at age eleven, a brother who walked out of my life without a blink, years with a drunk and abusive guardian, hours in a guidance counselors office, a heroin addiction, an alien invasion, Fitchburg, several near death experiences including the one where I stopped breathing for a minute, and the death of my best friend, and not manage to crumble at any of these times? But when my best friend turned boyfriend decided to leave, I completely lost all sense of composure. How does that work?
Maybe I've just fucking had it with all the miserable events that sum up my story. Maybe I was done with people walking out of my life or dying. Maybe I was just so angry that there was no one I could talk to about this.
Or maybe I cared about Ben a hell of a lot more than I thought possible.
I cringed on the outside. I had to stop thinking about this, because if I started crying again, I would throw myself off this bus. I redirected my gaze to Matt, who was writing away in his journal. How can he be so calm about his brother leaving? "What're you writing about in there, Matt?"
"Everything that happened the last couple of days. Charleston too."
"What about Charleston?" I asked, looking down at the blank page he had just turned to.
"About how maybe I can go to school again, with other kids my age. And how I really wish I had more friends." School ain't that great, kid. Especially other kids.
I put a little curl that was hanging in Matt's face out of his eyes. "I really hope they have a school there for you. I know everyone there would love you." Hell, I wished there was civilization in Charleston, but who knew for sure?
Matt stared up at me. "Do you miss Ben?"
I winced, not at hearing the name but at the knife twisting deeper into my heart. "Of course I do," I murmured.
"Do you think he's gonna come back?"
"I don't know."
"But…he has to come back, right?" Matt's eyes got all wide and glossy.
I wrapped an arm around him and let Matt rest his head on my shoulder. "All I know is that your brother cares about us, about all of us. He cares about us so much that he's risking his life to go help the rebel skitters with getting rid of the aliens. Ben's really smart, Matt. He won't do anything to get himself hurt."
"Do you love him?" he asked, looking back up at me again.
My heart clenched, and I could feel the intense heat of pain rushing through my system. "I do."
"Can I ask you another question?"
I almost chuckled. "Sure."
"Did you love someone else before Ben?"
Well that was completely out of left field. "What?"
"Did you love someone else before Ben?" Matt repeated, saying each word firmly so I would understand.
I'd like you to take a second to realize how awkward it is that a nine-year-old is asking me about my love life, even when it comes to his brother. It's really, really weird. "What made you ask that question?"
"One time Ben said he's never loved anyone before you. And…I don't know…" Matt trailed off.
A tear threatened to spill, and I had to swipe my eye furiously before I could reply. "I thought I did, once. Even now I'm not really sure," I answered finally.
"Did Alyssa know?"
I sighed, trying to fight the urge to just scream about how emotionally damaged I was right now. "There was a lot Alyssa didn't know about before the invasion."
"Like what?"
"I think you should get some rest, bud. You're gonna need some rest for when we get to Charleston."
Matt sighed as set his journal on a counter and laid on the little couch we were both sitting on, using my hoodie laying next to me as a pillow. "What was his name?"
"Who?" I asked softly, staring at the front of the bus where Anne and Tom were at. Cringing was the least I did.
"The guy you loved before Ben."
Believe me, I wanted nothing more than to correct Matt and say I didn't know if I loved him or not, but he was nodding off and I couldn't lash out on the poor kid for doing nothing but having curiosity. "Ash. His name was Ash."
"Like the guy from Pokémon?" he asked tiredly.
"Yeah," I kind of smiled, not exactly remembering how too. "Like that." I ran my fingers through Matt's curls until his breathing got softer and his eyes finally shut.
And just as if I was being sucked into another dream, my eyes played out a scene from my memory, one that I kept deep inside.
"Have you ever just wanted to…I don't know, start over?" Ash's dark blue eyes scanned the Boston skyline. The two of us were sitting on his slanting roof, something we did whenever I came over to his house. His roof had a breathtaking view of all the skyscrapers and lights of Boston which both of us loved.
"I've always wanted to start over," I said softly, staring up at the cloudy stars. Most of the time I couldn't tell what was clouds and what was smog.
"Like moving somewhere else, starting a new life, just getting out of Boston. Even somewhere like New York City would be better."
"NYC is crazy," I stated.
"And Boston isn't?" Ash looked at me. "Have you heard of Saratoga Springs?"
"North of Albany right?"
"Yeah," he nodded and leaned his head back to stare up at the sky, folding his hands behind his head. "One day, when we've had enough of everything, we should go there."
I mimicked him and leaned back against the cold roof. "I don't know if Cole and Logan could survive anywhere but Boston."
"You and I could though; we could make it. Just us two," Ash turned his head over to me and smiled, starlight glimmering off his white teeth.
"Yeah, we could," I laughed and looked back at the constellations.
"Maybe it would be different than Boston, but, knowing someone like you has my back, it wouldn't matter," Ash murmured, eyes still on me.
I ignored the leap my heart just took as I glanced at him and then back at the sky. "I don't know, Ash. I think I'd miss Boston skies too much."
Ash shoved my shoulder and I laughed again. "Let's go. You and me. When we've had enough of this life, let's go to Saratoga Springs."
I mulled it over in my head. Ash and I trying to make it in a town with 600,000 less people in it and starting over sounded so wonderful I felt like it was already set into our futures. "Okay. Let's do it. On one condition, though."
"Since when do you have conditions?"
"Since you decided to make the rules," I retorted and sat up again to stare at the Boston skyline that I just might not see as much anymore.
"Fine, what do you want, Parks?" Ash asked, sitting up too.
"We gotta take Cole and Logan with us."
"No way."
"Yes way. The four of us would definitely make it, and I know you'd miss them after awhile." Ash rolled his eyes at me. "You know you would."
"Fine, deal. You, me, Cole, and Logan will all go to Saratoga Springs."
"When, though? I'm already tired of everything and everyone," I pointed out and looked expectantly at Ash.
"Whenever we feel like it, or maybe if our families move before we go or if we ever get separated." Ash sat back thoughtfully. "If only you weren't going into the military after school."
I bit the inside of my lip. "Maybe I could wait a year. The military will always be there but, you guys won't."
His lips slowly spread into smile. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," I nodded, smiling at his smile. "I love you guys and I want to spend as much time with you guys as I can. I think we all need some time together, without this city life to distract us."
Ash's smile turned into a large grin. "You're the best!" He engulfed me into a huge hug, blond hair tickling my cheek.
I chuckled. "You're such a dumbass, I swear."
He shoved me slightly. "Don't be a bitch."
"Whatever, Ashton," I grinned at him and he grinned back.
"You have a beautiful smile," he said softly, pushing my bangs out of my face like he always did when we were alone.
"Does Ashton Michaels have a crush on me?" I asked, faking astonishment.
"Maybe he does," his voice spoke out, completely serious.
I blinked. I was only kidding, but did Ash seriously think of me that way?
"You'd be lying if you said you didn't feel it too," my best friend stated, staring at me with those dark blue sapphire eyes of his that sent chills down my spine.
"Feel what?" I asked, totally out of my element.
"The connection we have. You and I both know that's more than a friendship kind of connection," Ash stated, as if he had spent hours thinking about this. Maybe he had.
I drew my knees close to me and wrapped my arms around them, trying to make sense of this all. One minute we were talking about escaping our hellish lives and the next he was telling me my smile was beautiful and that we had a connection. How do I make that fast of a transition?
"Don't believe me?" he questioned me quietly. "Give me your hand." I frowned at his strange request and set my hand in his. Ash took my hand and placed it over his heart, which was beating fast. "That's what it's like when you're around."
Ash's heart raced a little faster when my eyes met with his and as much as I didn't want to admit it, mine did too. "Please, say something," Ash nearly pleaded, making me realize I hadn't said anything this entire time. But he of all people should know I sucked at voicing my feelings.
So instead, I took his rough hand and placed it over my own heart. "Guess we have something in common."
He smiled at me and pushed my bangs out of my eyes again, this time letting his hand linger by my cheek. His eyes darted up at mine again to see how I reacting to all of this, and honestly it scared the hell out of me. I wasn't the likeable type, and I never really considered the little tiny hints Ash dropped sometimes, or the hints that I was trying to tell myself. Because quite honestly, I didn't want a reason to hold me back from signing up for the military. But I suppose now I had two: Saratoga Springs and Ash.
"ASHTON BLAKE MICHAELS ARE YOU ON THE ROOF AGAIN?!" Ash and I sprang apart faster than a nanosecond and tried to collect ourselves at how surprised we were to hear Ash's mom's voice.
"Yeah, Mom!" Ash called down, grinning at me and shaking his head.
Gina Michaels poked her head out Ash's bedroom window, which was right below us. "Who's up there with you?"
"Hey, Miss Michaels," I waved down at her, smiling.
"Oh, Kaylee it's you! How many times have I told you to call me Gina? You've certainly been over here enough. Miss Michaels just sounds so old," Gina cringed in disgust.
"You are old, Mom," Ash said.
"Thirty-one is not old! Right, Kaylee?" Gina looked up at me hopefully.
"Not even close," I agreed, laughing.
Something that made Ash and I such close friends was the fact that we both had really messed up families. Ash's mom had him when she was seventeen and his dad bailed on them before he was even born. Ash told me that as soon as his dad found out his mom was pregnant he split, since he wasn't even in school. That really messed up Ash's life, in more ways than not. He had no one teach him how to be strong, so he learned that the hard way on his own. Not to mention that he had absolutely no rules or restrictions. Gina had let me spend the night, so many times that I honestly don't know how many times exactly, something I knew that if my parents were alive would never let me do. Gina let Ash drink alcohol openly and let him do whatever he pleased.
And I mean, Jay was never around to even give two shits about what Alyssa and I did. But I suppose what little parental guidance I did have caused me to have different moral beliefs than others. Maybe it was because I went to church back then or maybe it was because my parents knew there were better things I could hold myself to. Either way, I never saw drinking as something I wanted to do, nor having sex before I got married, nor letting my kids do whatever the hell they wanted to. Perhaps it was also because I saw things logically: drinking screws up your body, getting knocked up by someone who will take off or break up with you was stupid and pointless, and letting your kids run freely turned them into monsters.
But nevertheless, Gina's decisions and Ash's dad's decisions brought the two of us close, and that's something I would always be grateful for.
Alyssa's POV
"Oh you caught that?"
"Yeah."
"Well let's just say I was a bad girl, a bad girl who can hold her alcohol very well, but can't do straight shots of vodka. I was at party one night, having fun, tried a shot, I didn't feel that bad so I did more. That's all I really remember but one thing led to the next and yeah."
"So just to clarify, you're not a virgin are you?"
"No shit Sherlock,"
"So he said you got knocked up…"
"Then a week later I missed a period so in took the test and all the sudden I had a child in my stomach."
"So, did you have the kid?"
"No, I didn't get that far. About three months into the pregnancy, I was at home and my dad came home, hammered, and pushed me down the stairs. I hit my head and was coughing up blood. I walked to the hospital and-"
"Walked?"
"Yeah, Kaylee wasn't home and I couldn't call Zach so-"
"Who is Zach?" he asked, almost sounding angry.
"My ex. He left me the moment he found out I was pregnant."
"Understandably," Hal muttered.
"What did you just say?" I said, really angry now.
"Nothing," he snapped.
"Anyways I walked to the hospital and when I got there I found out I lost the baby." He didn't say anything. He just went completely emotionless and faced the road.
"Well say something," I couldn't take the silence any longer.
"What am I supposed to say?"
"I don't know anything. Just say something."
"I don't know what to say honestly."
"Well don't stay silent, don't act like a teenage boy. I answered your question. Now I expect the courtesy of an answer."
"Wow. You were a slut. There's your answer," He said.
I was so angry I literally couldn't form words in my mouth to talk. I just faced forward and had to count to ten before I could breathe again. Neither of us spoke after that. The only person doing the talking was Pope, getting drunker by the bottle. When Pope is drunk he is loud, very loud and obnoxious. As Pope blabbed on and on about endless shit, Hal and I sent in an awkward tense silence. I was beginning to get jealous of Pope, I mean come tomorrow he is gonna have no memory of this night and that is exactly what I wanted.
"Hey Pope, want to pass me a beer?"
"Suuuuurrrreeeeheeerrrreeeyougo,kid" he slurred his words. I was impressed. Pope sure could hold his alcohol. I reached my hand out the back to get a nice cold beer from Pope. I popped open the top on the back window of the truck and was about to take a drink when Hal's hand grabbed the beer and flung it out the window. It hit the ground with a crash.
"What the fuck, Hal? What was that for?" I yelled.
"Yeah! Whyyouwastingbeermaaasssooon? Youjealous?" Pope tried to sound scary and angry, like his normal self, but failed miserably because he couldn't talk straight.
"You of all people don't need a beer, Alyssa."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"Aww dontbe such," Pope had to pause and think of what to say, "likeyouroldman." Pause. "Lightenup. Shesabiggirrrrlll." Dear lord Pope was fucking hammered. I laughed and Hal glared at me.
"What? Drunk Pope is funny. Plus you could learn from him."
"Learn what?" He spat.
"Learn to lighten up." I paused. "Oh and don't ever touch my beer again. Do I make myself clear?" I glared at him.
"Fine, I just don't think you of all people need a beer," he argued.
"And why is that?" I yelled. Who the fuck does he think he is? Telling me I shouldn't drink when I know for a fact I could hold my alcohol better than him.
"Don't play stupid with me, Alyssa. You know why you shouldn't be drinking. Last time you got drunk you got pregnant. We don't want that to happen now do we?"
"The mistakes I made over a year ago are none of your concern. And trust me I will not be getting pregnant again, a least not with you. AND IF I WANT A GOD DAMN BEER, I AM GOING TO GET A FUCKING BEER AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT."
"Yeaaaahhhhhh," Pope cheered, laughing hysterically while pointing at only something he could see. Hal reached over and shut the back window, locking Pope out. He struggled with the door for a minute or two before giving up and passing out in the back of the truck.
"Whatever. You're sixteen you shouldn't be drinking beer."
"Yeah well I do so you can fucking deal with it."
"Fine," he said, obviously done.
"FINE" I yelled back.
"Whatever."
"'Kay." God why does he have to be such and asshole, like it's my life, my choices, why does it bother him?
Hal's POV
"Fine," I said, done trying to argue with her. If she wanted to go fuck herself up and kill herself, fine by me, but I'm not going to have anything to do with it.
"FINE" she screamed, loud enough I thought she might wake up Pope.
"Whatever,"
"'Kay." The universal sign for 'proceed with caution; this person is extremely pissed off.' I didn't even want to try and reason with her because I mean come on, it's Alyssa. It's like arguing with a wall, a really loud, really short wall. She just stared straight into the distance, no expression on her face. That was the most terrifying part. When Alyssa's mad, you know it, everyone knows it, so when her face is totally expressionless you should be really scared because something is up and one wrong move and she will explode into a tiny ball of loud, angry, pissed-of-edness. I just focused on driving straight, trying to think of anything to keep my mind focused. It was dark, so I had to focus on driving straight and not like killing us. I kept thinking about Ben, what Alyssa said about Ben and Alyssa. What Alyssa said earlier about Ben hit a nerve.
I was worried about Ben, I was really worried. And of course I cared about him, he was my little brother. No matter how many times we argued or got pissed off, or no matter how many times we said we hated each other, he was still my brother and it was my job to protect him, him and Matt. When I saw Matt earlier, when Alyssa said he looked sad, it almost broke my heart. Then when I saw Alyssa singing with him, and I saw his face light up, he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. It made me so happy to see him so happy. I just wish I could be able to make Matt that happy. Ben too. Neither of them should be feeling like this, they shouldn't have the responsibilities of an adult on their minds. That was my job as the oldest and all I seem to be able to do is mess it up. I should be out there with Ben, protecting him. But now Ben thinks I'm some asshole older brother. That's not what I wanted him to think of me. I wanted to be the good example.
Like Alyssa said, I want them to want to be like me, I want them to look up to me, not just Matt but Ben too, I get I can be a jerk and annoying sometimes but only because I care about them. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if anything happened to them. I especially don't want Ben to feel like he was in my shadow. What ever happened before the invasion is behind us, I decided that from here on out be more open minded and supportive of Ben and Matt both.
Alyssa sighed and turned around to face the window and I realized how much I really fucked up. I don't even know why I called her a slut because I didn't mean to. I regretted it the moment I saw the look on her face. Sure the way she talks about her past makes me really think she was one, but that's not the Alyssa I know so who was I to call her that? I mean, I am not the person I was before the invasion and she knows that but she doesn't judge me. I wanted to say something but I didn't in fear of it coming out totally wrong and pissing her of anymore so I just started at the road and drove on. We had been on the road about two hours which meant we had the rest of the night to go. This was going to be a long ass night that's for sure.
It was really dark and kind of cold outside, I was cold in my jeans and long sleeve shirt. I don't know how Alyssa hadn't gotten hypothermia or something by now, I could see the goose bumps on her legs. She was curled up in a ball and had taken her shoes off, she was wearing the My Little Pony socks she had on the first day we met her; I remember giving her crap about that. I laughed and she turned around and glared at me. Alyssa laid her head back down and shivered, so I took my hoodie of and laid it over her. She silently put it on and curled back up, pulling her knees to her chest. There, now she wasn't freezing cold. Even though she was mad, I still feel like it was the right thing to do.
Kaylee's POV
When I blinked again, a drop of water slipped out of my eye. I wiped it away, and tried to push everything out of my head. I felt like all the cracks that were tearing apart my life finally split every part of me into pieces. Everything sucked; nothing made sense. My hope was snuffed out, my strong shield shattered, and I felt so alone and sad. Deeply and genuinely sad. Before I was angry and upset; now I was sad and lonely.
Pretty funny how things can change just like that.
Want to know a secret? That night, with Ash, was right before I almost killed AJ. The day before the aliens invaded. I haven't seen Ash since that night. I was late to school that day and couldn't meet up with Ash, Logan, and Cole. I hadn't thought about them too much since then, since it was too hard for me to consider whether they survived or not. Or maybe they got away to Saratoga Springs in time. But of course, I of all people should be aware that there really are no such things as happy endings. By aliens or by natural causes, everyone ended up dying one way or another.
Why hadn't I tried going to Saratoga Springs to find out? Because I couldn't leave Alyssa alone. I had no idea what these things were and what they were planning on doing to the human race. And I couldn't allow myself to grasp the possibility that my three best friends might not be waiting for me when I get there. I would rather pretend that the possibility of them being there could actually be true than know for a fact that they were gone.
Have you ever felt so lonely that you can feel it, right in your gut? That sad, chilling feeling that creeps throughout you when you're alone? I was familiar with the feeling, after my parents died and my brother bailed out on my life. Also after the invasion when I didn't know what happened to Ash, Cole, and Logan. For those of you have no idea what I'm talking about, let me tell you, it is the worst damn feeling in the world. I'd take anger, pain, illness, ANYTHING over this. Crying made loneliness worse, but crying is the only thing you could do to distract yourself from the thoughts. The very thoughts that were plaguing my mind right now. Of course, seeing Anne and Tom together didn't help much either.
I shot up in from sitting and walked to the front of the bus. "Hey, Anne, can I drive?"
Anne looked up at me, confused. "Weren't you fourteen before the attack?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Don't you get your permit at fifteen and a half?"
"I don't see any cops around," I glanced out the windshield for affect.
Anne looked up at me again then back out the windshield. "I don't think-"
"Please," my voice cracked. I cleared it. "I need to take my mind off everything. My uncle taught me anyways."
She sighed. "Okay."
My pale, shaky fingers locked around the steering wheel and my right foot pushed on the gas pedal gently and stared out at the dimly lit road ahead of me. Mist circled around the line of vehicles but you could see the stars twinkling through. If all of these things weren't going on right now, I would've thought it was a beautiful night. Just like the one before the aliens invaded.
My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel even harder and bit the inside of my lip, trying to stop thinking about Ash and Ben and all of this crap that was driving me mentally insane. I felt as though I was about to be completely pushed over the edge and once I was over it, there would be no way of getting back. Emptiness crawled around in my gut, aching slithered over my heart, and feeling was sucked out of my soul. That edge was coming, and I wasn't ready to fall over. But I'm not so sure that I would be calling the shots on that.
All of the sudden, the vehicle in front of me stopped, and I had to slam my foot on the brakes so I wouldn't crash into it. I knew that Weaver's vehicle was leading our line, and I instantly put the bus in park, grabbed my Calico, and jumped out of the bus. As I was running I took my gun off of safety and had it cocked and loaded in the four seconds it took me to sprint to the front of this vehicle line. Thank God that Weaver was okay, and apparently Tec had been driving Weaver too.
"What happened, Captain?" I asked him, looking around expectantly.
Weaver nodded his head in the direction that he, Tec, and the other fighters that were up here were looking at. Once my eyes settled on what they were all staring at, they widened a tiny bit. "It's a kid," Weaver murmured astonished. "A harnessed kid."
"What the hell?" I murmured and stared at the body on the ground. It was a girl with scraggly brown hair and torn clothes. But when I shined my gun's light on her unconscious face, I nearly jumped back three feet. Her face was morphing into a skitter's face, as well as her ands and arms. She had green crusty skin spreading all over her, and it made me wonder how long this poor kid had been harnessed for all of this to happen.
All of us looked expectantly at Weaver. "Let's get her in the Med Bus. We'll go from there." Before Anthony or Tom or one of the guy fighters could take her, I slid my arms under her and picked her up.
"We can take care of her, Kaylee," Weaver stated reaching for the not surprisingly light kid.
"I got her," I said firmly. "I'm not that weak you know." But man did I feel weak.
I carried the girl into the bus and laid her on an open gurney that Dr. Glass pointed to. She began stirring a little bit, and Dr. Glass said she was coming to. "I think her harness might be internally damaged since it isn't glowing."
"We can't leave her," Tom shook his head. Automatically I knew that Weaver would disagree, since that's how it usually went with Tom and Weaver. One of them said something, the other disagreed, and then they came up with a compromise that was better than either of their original plans. Which is exactly why they were perfectly paired up.
"I want to help her, Tom, but it is too big of a risk. After Karen, we cannot afford to have another enemy."
"You got that right, Captain," Anthony agreed.
"If her harnessed is damaged, she can't be that big of a threat," I pointed out. Yeah, I had a soft spot for kids…even the ones controlled by aliens.
"W-where am I?" the girl asked as she suddenly woke up. "Why does my body hurt?"
Dr. Glass leaned down over her. "You were in an accident. But you're okay. I'm Dr. Glass."
"Where's Tyler?" she looked around frantically.
I looked over at Weaver and raised my eyebrows. This kid couldn't be much older than Matt. "Who's Tyler?" his voice softened.
"My brother," she said painfully. "I want my brother." You and me both, kid.
"Well, I'm sorry, we don't know where he is," Weaver spoke in his gentle tone. I saw her hand reach for his as she yelled in pain. Tom and I looked at him expectantly.
"Alright," Weaver agreed. "Kaylee, I want you with her on guard."
"Yes, sir."
"Secure her in the back, we gotta keep moving."
"Really, Captain?" I looked at him. What the hell was I supposed to secure her with? Cotton balls and medical tape? Anthony shoved some zip ties into my hand and I looked at Weaver once more. He nodded and then exited the bus with Anthony.
The girl stared up at me, waiting. I sighed as Anne started the Med Bus up again. "C'mon, kid. It's way comfier in the back anyways." She staggered to her feet and I half carried half supported her to the little couch in the back and sat her down. Reluctantly I grabbed some loose chain, wrapped it around a pole keeping a cabinet up, and tied it off. She held up her wrists for me to put in the zip ties and I almost cringed as I secured them to her wrists and tied the chain around it. "Looks like you're all set for the road."
"Why aren't you looking at me funny?" the girl questioned and looked over at me as I slumped back into the seat next to her.
"What do you mean?" I looked back at her. She had to be nine or ten, eleven at the absolute oldest.
She motioned to all the crusty skin on her.
"I get what it's like to have people look at you like you're some kind of freak. Believe me, I know it's not a fun feeling." She smiled gratefully.
Just as I was about to ask her what her name was, Matt came walking up with two cups of some kind of food on the bus, on for me and one for her. "What are you staring at?" she asked him, looking away shamefully.
"Nothing," he spoke quickly. "I just wanted to see if you wanted something to eat. They're pears so if you're not hungry you don't have to eat them."
She eagerly took the cup of pears and downed them in a few seconds flat. "It's been so long since I've eaten anything."
Matt's face got a little sad. "My brother got hungry again after they took his harness off. Yours is damaged so maybe that's why."
"You're brother was joined?" she asked astonished. "Where is he?"
"He's away," Matt said solemnly.
"Think I could have those too?" the girl asked, referring to Matt's cup. Matt handed her his cup and again she downed them all in seconds. Then she let out a tiny burp and the two of them started laughing. It almost made me smile. Matt needed a friend his age.
"My name's Matt, by the way," he introduced himself and extended his hand.
"Jenny." She extended hers too, and Matt cringed slightly at the long fingernails and crusted over skin. But I guess he sucked it up and shook her hand anyways.
"Kaylee," I smiled slightly and Jenny smiled back. I saw her eyeing my cup of pears too, and I took them and handed them to her. "Knock yourself out, kid." Pears from the Med Bus sounded pretty sketchy to me.
Once she finished the cup of pears, the two of them started talking. I sat back and watched as they laughed and shared some kind of chocolate Matt had and almost envied their fast forming friendship. And then Matt just ruined it when he asked, "So…what's it like? Being all…you know." Matt Mason, ever the ladies man.
"I'm used to it," Jenny finally said. "My brother Tyler is the same way."
"Your brother's harnessed too?" They really had a lot in common.
"He's not my real brother," Jenny explained. "He and a couple other kids became my siblings after we got joined with the same guardian."
"You mean skitter," Matt squinted slightly, trying to understand her words.
"Yes, if that's what you call them."
"So what happened?"
Jenny looked up at Matt, suddenly sullen. "My guardian and my other siblings were killed by humans."
"You're a human, Jenny," I said and she looked over at me.
"I loved my guardian. She took care of me; made me feel like I belonged to a family. The first real one I ever had."
Matt sat down next to her too. "We can be your family too. Everyone in the 2nd Mass is really great. And…just wait until we get to Charleston. It's gonna be awesome."
I seriously hoped for Matt's sake that Jenny stayed with us. Most of the kids went off when we left the high school to find a safer place to be at so Matt had no one his own age to talk to.
"What's in Charleston?"
"You'll see. Hold on a second; let me show you something." Matt sprang up from the seat and ran to go find what I assumed was his journal.
"You should really come with us, Jenny," I said.
"I don't know if I can. My brother is probably looking for me."
"It would mean the world to Matt. He doesn't have many friends his own age."
"How old are you?" she asked, trying to calculate the number of years.
"Fifteen." Her eyes widened slightly.
"I would've guessed eighteen," Jenny told me, "you just seem…"
"Old?" I looked at her, assuming that's what she meant.
"Mature," she stated. "Even your eyes seem mature." I gave a curt nod and looked out the barred windows of the bus. "Did you know him?"
"Know who?" I questioned and continued looking out the window.
"Matt's brother. The one that was joined." Her words cut through my heart like ice. I seriously felt colder after she asked that.
Once I took a few breaths to gain my composure, I turned back to the window. "Yeah, I knew him."
Before Jenny could ask me any more questions, Matt returned, journal in hand. I moved over so he could show Jenny and my hands pressed firmly against my temples to try and soothe all of the thoughts going on up there. For the past few hours I was convinced that my skull was cracking and all of the thoughts in there had come pouring out. Now I felt like I belonged in asylum, which is probably where I belonged this whole time.
I'm not quite sure how much time passed with me slouched into the seat, clutching my head and trying to convince myself that it was just a headache, but it sure as hell felt like a damn long time. A damn long time. My heart felt like within each passing second a piece faded along with it. And I was scared. Really scared. It's never been this bad before and it sure as hell had never gotten me this worked up. Something was eating away on the inside of me, and it was something that was not going to slow down any time soon.
This is the part where I ask you to dig deep down into yourself and wonder if you've ever been so brutally broken that the pieces couldn't be glued back together. My whole life was just a fucking broken mess that I just wanted to stop breaking. I was sick of all of the lies and sick of how fake smiles seemed to me now. Anne kept smiling at me reassuringly and it looked so unnatural and painful to me. It made me want to rip my hair out.
Then without a moment's notice, a huge creature hit against the Med Bus window and I instantly drew my gun and shouted, "ANNE, STOP THE BUS!"
"Don't shoot!" Jenny yelled. Her harness was glowing again. Shit.
The bus slammed to a stop and I momentarily lost my footing and fell back onto the seat before springing up again. "Kaylee, I want you here. Keep an eye on them," Tom said as he pushed past me and ran out the bus, along with Lourdes and Anne.
"What the hell was that?!" I exclaimed, staring at Jenny.
"Tyler. It was Tyler," she breathed a ragged breath and her harness kept fading in and out.
"What does he want?"
"He wants me to go back with him."
"You can't!" Matt shook his head.
Jenny sat back quietly, most likely weighing her options and figuring out what she was going to do. Now I was a little creeped out by this whole situation, because that thing that she called her brother was lurking out there somewhere near by and I knew that it would just keep coming back until it got what it wanted. Matt stared expectantly at her and I realized that Jenny couldn't go, at least not yet. Matt wanted and needed a friend, and by the looks of it he wanted Jenny as his friend. And you know, the fighter in me reminded myself that she may have over heard a conversation about some vital information about the 2nd Mass, so it was probably best to have her stay.
I moved to the front of the bus and looked out the windows, realizing that the older fighters were outside talking, refueling, and stationed at the large sign that pointed two ways, either leading to our destination. It was only a matter of hours before we got there. Anne and Lourdes came back in, and began firing up the bus. "They finally picked a route. Looks like we're on our way to Charleston."
"Charleston here we come!" Matt proclaimed joyfully. His smile dissipated the moment he saw Jenny attempting to break free of the chain that I had locked her to. And surprise surprise, her brother was attacking the back of the bus in order to get to her.
Matt took note of the situation and grabbed the rifle I'd given him. "Don't worry; I'll protect you!"
Jenny stood up instantly and positioned herself in front of Matt's line of fire. "It's okay, Matt. I need to go." Jenny's eyes got a little hazy and then her harness glowed again, enabling her to rip the chain off the pole and storm towards us.
"No!" Matt shook his head.
"He's my brother. I have to go!"
"I won't let you!" Matt shouted. He stuck his arms out in front of her and held on to her tightly. This was gonna be bad.
"HEY!" I shouted and ripped the two of them apart. Except I forgot the important fact that harnessed kids have incredible strength.
Jenny threw me forward and I felt my forehead split and my head knock into something metal and something hard. I fumbled around to grab my gun on the floor and managed to get so dizzy that I fell over and hit my head on the cabinet doors again. "Dr. Glass!" Matt yelled and he put two cold fingers against my throat.
"I'm still alive, Matt," I said wearily, trying to make sense of up and down and left and right.
"But I thought that's what you did when someone gets hurt," Matt's voice sounded confused.
Anne was by my side instantly and flashing that damn flashlight of hers into my eyes. I was feeling so dizzy and nauseous that I swear I nearly fell over again and puked, but Anne held my head steady and still until I could see again. "How are you feeling?" she asked after a few minutes.
"My head hurts like hell," I stated gruffly.
Anne took out cotton swabs and disinfectant and before I could even flinch she was spreading it over the gash on my forehead and it burned. Once she was satisfied, Anne put a white bandage over the wound and helped me stand up. Then I took notice that Matt had a similar but smaller wound on his temple. Anne moved to him and fixed him up really quickly before setting us back on the couch and driving the bus forward towards Charleston.
Matt had my hoodie as his pillow and was laying across the seat with a blanket I had found draped over him. "What happened to Jenny?" he asked suddenly. Did she throw him too?
"I'm guessing she went off to be with Tyler," I said softly, the sound of my voice too loud for me.
Matt's soft brown eyes looked up at me. "Do you think that Ben loves the rebel skitters more than us?"
I pushed some curls out of his face. "Ben doesn't love them," my heart cringed at the sound of his name. "He has to fight with them so he can protect all of us."
"But…" Matt trailed off. "What if when he's there he realizes he likes them more?"
I hadn't even thought of that possibility.
"He won't," I shook my head, hoping this was true. "He cares about you, Hal, and your dad too much."
"What if he does? What if he doesn't come back?" Matt's eyes were breaking my heart.
"Then we'll find him."
Matt's eyes filled with tears. "What if he dies?"
Then I'd go along with him.
I pulled Matt into a side hug so I could still look him in the eyes. "He's not gonna die. C'mon, kid. If there are two people in the world that can't ever die it's your brother and I."
"Do you promise?"
I looked down at him, preparing to lie straight through my teeth. "I promise."
Matt took a few seconds to collect himself before asking, "Do you know where my journal is?"
After a few seconds of scanning the Med Bus, my eyes landed on the black spiral notebook on the counter. I set it in Matt's hands and he sat up and began writing away. I took a few breaths and counted to twenty, trying to make the pain in my head and in my heart go away. I'm guessing you know how well that went.
Alyssa POV
Hal put his jacket over me, and I'll never admit it, but I was glad because it was fucking freezing cold. I slid it over my shirt without saying anything. The back window of the truck opened up and I a gust of wind blew in. I looked back to see a very sober, very tired Pope.
"Wow, you sober up fast. I'm impressed," I commented, "But how bad is your hangover right now?"
"Hurts like hell, but yeah I have had years of practice at quick sobering up." He just sat there with his head in the window, watching Hal and I. My hand was lying on the middle seat and Hal reached over and put his hand on mine, I pulled away.
"Both hands on the wheel," I said and he gave me a hard look but didn't argue.
"Wow, trouble in paradise?" Pope asked.
"Shut up, Pope." Hal and I both said at the same time. "It's none of your fucking business," I added.
"Geez, sorry I asked," he stuck his hand up, "So do either of you know where Kaylee is? I need to speak with her."
"Why do you need to speak with Kaylee?" I questioned him.
"I have business to discuss, what's it to you?"
"I wouldn't if I were you. She's extremely pissed off right now. You are the last person she needs to deal with," I told him.
"Oh I disagree, see I think it's the best thing for her, I mean who better to help her out at a time like this then her commanding officer?" Pope said.
"WHAT?" I practically screeched, my voice rising like ten octaves.
"Oh she didn't tell you? She is one of my Berserkers now," Pope smirked.
"You mean you didn't know about this?" Hal asked in mock shock.
"Does it look like I fucking knew about this?!"
"Not so fun is it?" I gave him the worst, bitchiest glare I could manage. "It sucks doesn't it?"
"Shut up, Hal; this doesn't involve you." I looked back at Pope. "Since when was she a Berserker?"
"About two months ago," Pope said nonchalantly.
"WHAT?!" I looked back at Hal. "And how long have you known?"
"About two months," he smirked. "I heard from Tector."
"AND DID IT EVER CROSS YOUR MIND TO, I DON'T KNOW, TELL ME?" I yelled at him.
Before he could respond, Pope cut in, "Seeing as you two have other issues, I'll leave you to discuss that, and if you ever need anything, counselor Pope is at your services." He paused. "I am good at this, I mean look at how far you two have come, all the secrets that are coming out." and with that he re-shut the window door.
I was shaking with anger. "WHY WOULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT?"
"I assumed you knew!"
"IF I DIDN'T BRING IT UP TO YOU, I OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T KNOW. I MEAN I TELL YOU EVERYTHING. THAT'S HOW COUPLES WORK; APPARENTLY YOU DIDN'T GET THAT MEMO!"
"YOU DON'T TELL ME EVERYTHING! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT BEN, IT'S A TWO WAY STREET HERE, ALYSSA, SO DON'T EVEN TRY AND MAKE THIS MY FAULT!"
"I knew about Ben for less than twenty four hours. TWENTY FOUR HOURS! You knew for two months! TWO MONTHS! THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE, HAL!"
"NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I FELT LIKE OKAY? EXCEPT FOR ME IT'S WORSE BECAUSE MY LITTLE BROTHER LEFT, ALL KAYLEE DID WAS JOIN THE BERESERKERS! Okay?!"
"Yeah, but I told you within a day of when I found out. Were you ever planning on telling me?" No response. "I didn't think so."
"It's not my fault Kaylee didn't want to tell you!"
"And it is not my fault your brother thinks you don't like him and he can't talk to you now is it?" I shot back, not even thinking about how much that would hurt him. He deserved it. He didn't say anything. "Stop the truck."
"What?"
"You heard me. Stop the truck."
"Why?"
"Because you're being an asshole. I'll go ride in the Med Bus or on my bike or something." He made no move to stop the truck so I undid my seat belt and opened the door and hopped out. It wasn't that hard; we were going at like two miles an hour.
"Alyssa wait-" I slammed the door shut and walked over to the Med Bus.
Hal's POV
"And it is not my fault your brother thinks you don't like him and he can't talk to you now is it?" I felt a stab of pain in my heart. Did Ben really think that? "Stop the truck."
"What?" I wasn't sure I heard her right.
"You heard me. Stop the truck."
"Why?"
"Because you're being an asshole. I'll go ride in the Med Bus or on my bike or something." I didn't want to stop the truck because I didn't want her to get out.
"Alyssa wait-" I tried to stop her, to hold her back but she wouldn't listen. She slammed the door and ran away into the rainy darkness, probably to the Med bus.
Great, I did it again. I can't just be nice for one minute; I have to be a fucking smart ass. If I just would have kept my mouth shut and not said anything, we would have been fine. Probably totally okay again, laughing and joking around, her smiling or laying down asleep, using my lap as her pillow like usual, or cuddled up next to me, like a little kid. We could be talking about random stuff, happy memories we have from preinvasion. Usually those conversations were me listening to her tell some story about her and Kaylee and her sister. I never really realized how much I liked listening to her talk. Whenever I was angry or stressed or frustrated she had some story to make me laugh again. Now we were both pissed off. It was almost like we were back at square one, when we first met. And now I had to wait, at the minimum, until tomorrow morning to work things out with her. It was too quiet and too cold in here by myself and I didn't like it. I would take the angry silence over this any day. At least then she would be in here next to me and I knew she was safe.
I just continued to drive and drive, looking at the trees and stuff on the side of the road. It all looked the same, dark and boring. I just looked forward at the truck of supplies in front of me. We just kept driving, hour after hour of horrible silence. Each minute felt like hours, the time passed slowly and I yawned every three seconds. Then all the sudden it was over, the darkness was gone and I could see specks of sun popping up into the sky. The night was finally over and the sun was rising, slowly but steadily coming up. We had to be almost there by now. I wonder what Alyssa was doing right now. I hoped she was with Matt, or maybe Kaylee. What was Ben doing? How far had he traveled during the night? Did he find anything yet? One at a time, our caravan of cars stopped.
I put the brakes on and jumped out of truck so fast my vision went blurry and I had to pause for a second. I ran as fast as I could to the front of our group, hoping to see Charleston, not just a city but a city with people, one that didn't look dead and abandoned; hoping for that feeling of safety and protection that I hadn't felt in so long. All I could see was a crowd of people, all looking for the same thing I was.
I pushed my way to the front and when I got there my heart sank into my gut. I had never been that disappointed in my life. I had to grab hold of something to brace myself so I didn't fall over. I looked around and saw everyone had the same looks of disappointment. Alyssa looked like she was choking back tears. She was so excited to see her sister and now she never will. I wanted to go up and hug her but someone beat me to it. I watched from across the crowd as Matt hugged her and she hugged him back, both of them choking back tears. I knew I should go over there and comfort them but somehow I couldn't bring my legs to walk over there. I also knew it would cause more damage than it would fix.
Kaylee's POV
My eyes were closed for a long, long time, and in that long, long time, memories danced along the back of my eyelids from preinvasion to last week. Things like hanging out with Ash, Cole, and Logan or Ben and I laughing about something we found funny. Whatever the memory was, I felt like ripping at the seams because of the emotional overload. And just when one of my favorites came across, a person's voice I knew before they even spoke asked, "Are you sleeping?"
"No," I said and opened my eyes to Alyssa sitting next to me. Judging by the frustration in her eyes and her let alone being here next to me, something was up on her paradise island of her and Hal. I simply raised my eyebrows at her, my way of asking for an explanation.
"I told Hal about the Zach thing." When I said nothing she continued on. "And you know what he said? He said I was a slut. WHO SAYS THAT TO THEIR GIRLFRIEND?! And then he went on this rant about how I shouldn't have beer or alcohol because of last time. He shouldn't be trying to fucking control every damn thing in my life and I am so sick of all of the shit he puts me through. And when were you going to tell me you are a Berserker now? Oh, plus he thinks that just because he's a few months older than me that he knows better and is way more mature than I am even though he grew up with a perfect little family and-"
"Shut up," I snapped suddenly.
Her eyes darted to me, confused. "What?"
"I said, shut up."
Alyssa pulled her eyebrows into a hard frown. "What the fuck is your deal?"
"My deal is that I'm sick of listening to your bullshit that you think is wrong," I looked over at Alyssa, my eyes cold and staring straight at her.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"
"You are so damn wrapped up in all of your Halyssa drama all the time that I'd rather go deaf than listen to another second of it," I spat out at her.
She sat back stiffly. "Yeah? Well you try to be in my place. IT'S NOT FUCKING EASY."
"Hal cares about you," I said, feeling the anger and annoyance rise up inside my chest. "That's the only reason why he said those things."
"Well how would you feel if Ben called you an emo with depression problems?"
My head snapped towards her and my hand was clenched hard to prevent me from getting physical with her. "You know, for the past few months I've wondered if you even gave a rat's ass about me anymore. Thanks for answering that question."
"God you are such a dramatic bitch," Alyssa rolled her eyes, and even though she was pretending like what I just said didn't faze her, I knew damn well it did.
I folded my hands and rested my elbows on my knees, looking forward through the windows. "I hope one day you'll realize the crap job you did at being there for me all these years. Because honestly AJ would've made a better friend than you've been to me all this time."
"That was low. That was really, really fucking low," Alyssa's words shot out like venom.
"Oh, really? Because I can't remember a single time when you asked me how I was doing. Even when my parents were INCINERATED you didn't even bother to ask."
"Like you would've even talked if I had asked!"
"That's when you're wrong. All I needed was someone to nudge me. Guess that's why Ben knows more about me than you'll ever know."
"What the hell does he know that I don't?"
"Forget it. Just forget it," I said and stood up and walked to the front of the bus and tapped Anne out from driving so she could tend to her patients. My nails dug into the steering wheel and my teeth were gritted from how angry I was. I had been holding that in the past four year and as much as I should be kicking myself for being such an ass, it felt so damn good to finally get it out of my system.
Soon enough the night hours dragged into the day and Anne offered to take over but I waved her away and continued driving on. That bus ride gave me a lot of time to think and I suppose that I really needed time to think, no matter how much I needed to stay out of my head. I thought about a lot of things, many of them including Ben and the possibility of Charleston actually existing or not. And mostly I thought about Ash, Cole, and Logan. I wish I would've gone back and found them all; I knew where they were and was supposed to meet with them after school, but after the whole AJ incident, Alyssa wouldn't let me out of her sight. I don't necessarily blame her for that.
My foot moved to the brake and I set the bus into park, puzzled by why the line of vehicles ahead of me had abruptly stopped. "What is it?" Anne asked and Tom followed behind her, wondering what was going on.
"Everyone just stopped." Tom went outside and I followed suit, hand on my gun of choice automatically. I began jogging to where all of the fighters leading the convoy were walking towards to see what made us stop. But when I finally saw what made us stop, I wanted to turn around and pretend like I didn't see what I did.
Of course. Of COURSE. I mean, who the hell were we kidding? Survivors rebuilding a union in the city before me? Yeah, what bullshit we believed, even hoped. Because the city before me was desolated and obliterated.
Just like what was left of my light, my hope.
All of us stood there, frozen. Frozen with heartbreak, frozen with broken hopes and dreams, frozen with disappointment. Frozen with the question of "What next?" lying on our shoulders. What was next? The 2nd Mass spent the past few months trying to get here and no one had bothered to bring up the 'what if' possibility of Charleston not existing. Now we were left standing before the destroyed ruins of Charleston, South Carolina, unsure of how we would recuperate from this low of a blow.
I'm pretty sure that Weaver was the first to unfreeze and start the walk back to his vehicle. Anthony and I followed after, and then the rest of the 2nd Mass slowly made their ways back to the vehicles. There was nothing we could do, and standing around and staring at the annihilated city wouldn't make it piece back together. The only thing we could do was get over it and move on, what anyone involved in the military would tell you, or in our case, a ragtag militia regiment from Massachusetts trying to kick aliens off the planet.
Eventually the load of us were parked in the middle of the forest we passed before we made it to the blown bridge leading into Charleston for cover until we figured out what our next plan of action was. Only no one was saying anything; nobody was even looking at each other. I guess all of us hoped a little too much and forgot that we were supposed to expect the worst in all of this. I was as guilty of this as anyone else was, but I was also beating myself up about this more than anyone else was. Yours truly has always been the skeptic, the one doubtful of everything and the one who has given out hope so many times that she no longer can. I of all people should have been the one to calm down everyone's excited hopefulness with a remark of questioning. I should've have been so…optimistic.
Guess that would have to change.
A gunshot went off, and just as I whipped my handgun out I realized that Weaver was the one who actually shot it. "GATHER 'ROUND," Weaver shouted at everyone and I sensed an extremely inspirational speech coming on. Once the 2nd Mass made their away around Weaver began. "So Charleston was a bust. We thought we were gonna have paradise on Earth delivered to us on a silver platter. We should have known better. I should've have known better. It doesn't mean that the dream was bad; it just means that we are gonna have to work harder to make it happen." Damn, Weaver was good in combat and good with words. I should take notes.
"The choice is simple: You can lie down and quit, curse God at the unfairness of it all, OR you can come with me! Find another place to live. A place where we can build the community we hoped to find here.
"SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO," Weaver yelled. "We're gonna get back in those vehicles, and we're gonna go on! Even if it means we gotta carry the damn things on our backs!" An eruption of "Yeah!"'s rang out all around us. I didn't even have time to think about what we would do if Ben came looking for us before getting swept up in the crowd of 2nd Massers with newborn hope. Just as I was heading to go back to Craze's vehicle (I was not spending more time with Alyssa than I need to), I heard leaves rustle and twigs crackle, enough to know that someone or something was coming towards us. I loaded my gun and prepared to shoot.
"Who goes there?" Dai asked warningly.
When no one responded, Weaver called out, "Identify yourself!"
"Hold your fire," a familiar voice replied. No…it couldn't be… "Colonel Porter, West Continental Army." It was. Holy shit Porter was alive!
"Hello, Dan," Porter said, smiling like he was in on some kind of joke.
"Jim?" Weaver's eyes widened.
"Heard the shot and I spotted your outfit. What the hell took you so long?"
Weaver looked at Porter as if it was an apparition in front of him, not his long lost leader from way back when we were at the school. "Well we had to stop by some gift shops and some diners on the way, you know?"
Porter laughed. You can do way better than diners. Give me some of that." A soldier next to him handed him a bag of, get this, strawberries. Strawberries. Strawberries.
"Try that on for a size. Hey, Tom," Porter shook his hand and smiled. "You've been busy, with the little legend building around you."
"Where'd those come from?" I asked motioning to the fruit.
Porter turned his smile to me. "Good to see you're doing well, Kaylee. Those came from the new capital of the United States of America, Charleston, South Carolina."
"We were just in Charleston. There was nothing there," Tom raised his eyes in bewilderment.
"Looks can be deceiving," Porter answered, smirking a little, "as you people from the 2nd Mass are about to find out. Dan, let's get these people together. I want to get them settled in before night fall."
And just like that, we were whisked away to what we never thought we'd see in our wildest dreams.
Alyssa's POV
Seeing the destroyed city was the worst feeling in the world. All around me, people gasped and some even cried. I was pretty close to tears but I didn't cry. Matt looked like he was going to lose it any second. I gave him a big bear hug and he sniffed back some tears.
"It's okay, Matt," I tried to sound happy. "We are all alive, and together. Everything is gonna be fine." He just sniffed again. It was really hard to sound happy when I was the farthest thing from it. I had let myself get so happy about seeing my sister, and now she was gone and it was my fault. If I had looked a little harder for her in the beginning maybe she would be here, with the 2nd Mass. She would probably be with Kaylee right now. She knew how to make Kaylee smile when nothing else would. She could make her really smile, not just her pretend smile she put on.
Weaver and Tom started talking again, but I just drowned them out. I didn't feel like listening to one of their speeches.
I was the first to notice the bushes moving. I quickly pulled out my knife and everyone looked at me. "Solider, what are you doing?" Weaver asked, sounding annoyed I interrupted his speech.
"There is something behind you guys," I said. They slowly turned around and Weaver's hand went to his gun.
"Hold your fire," a voice said. "Colonel Porter, West Continental Army."
"Hello, Dan," Porter said.
"Jim?"
"Heard the shot and I spotted your outfit. What the hell took you so long?"
Weaver looked at Porter. "Well we had to stop by some gift shops and some diners on the way, you know?"
Porter laughed and they talked about how the strawberries they had and how they grew them, until Porter said that we were going to Charleston.
"We were just in Charleston. There was nothing there."
"Looks can be deceiving," he said. Everyone started to follow him. I sprinted over to Kaylee. As much as Kaylee frustrated me, I didn't care. We were going to see my sister.
"Kaylee come on! We are gonna go see the city! We are gonna go see Veronica!" I was so happy right now words can even describe the feeling inside me. I couldn't stop smiling.
WHAT DID YOU THINK *tries but fails to contain excitement while awaiting your review* okay so i added the Hal POV so you didn't totally hate him so yeah! GO REVIEW AND SEE YOU NEXT TIME!
Did you enjoy little Miss Parker's transformation? Yeah me neither. Have fun reading the next few chapters Hellians. Hold on as the ride gets darker. -Kaylee