My December

A/N: Here is the Epilogue. I have enjoyed writing this story, and I hope you have all enjoyed reading it. It's not the fairytale ending that you all probably hoped for, but I think you'll all be satisfied.

Setting: This is set about five years after Lisa's wedding.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

~D*C~

Epilogue: Go

Scout's POV

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Shit."

I try to scurry off, but it's to no avail. He always catches onto my overcoat. I really need to invest in another one, but I love my overcoat so much! It's a catch twenty-two…

"Really, Scout?"

I bury my face in the warm folds of fabric, avoiding looking at him. Daddy is a scary, scary man, and I don't like seeing him mad at me.

"It just broke on its own, though! I went to pick it up, and it just went 'boom' and 'poof'! It's a conspiracy, Daddy, I promise!"

That was good, wasn't it? Wasn't it…

Sigh.

He doesn't look amused.

"Scout, shit doesn't just go 'boom' or 'poof' or whatever the hell kind of sound you want to make. I told you to be careful with this shit. I swear, you're as hard-headed as Sam some days…"

I wait patiently as he digs himself deeper into his own thoughts. When I see that he's pretty much settled, I flee the room.

"Success!"

I weave my way through boxes and boxes of our stuff, heading out to the backyard. Daddy got a phone call one day, and the next thing I know, we were moving! I'm pretty happy, though. I live on the beach now!

When Daddy's friend left, Daddy was pretty happy. I thought it was kind of odd, but I didn't question it. Singer said that grown-ups do funny things sometimes, so that's what I chocked it up to. I thought they were in love, but I guess not? I don't know. It doesn't matter now, though.

"Scout! You smart little shit! When I find you, I'm going to child abuse you!"

"Shoot."

I quietly make my way back inside. I know he's going to go look for me out back. He'll wander through the yard and stuff before coming back in and heading to my room. He'll be pretty tired, so he'll stop caring and go about his business.

I am a very smart little boy!

I snicker as I hear the back door open and close.

"Later, alligator," I whisper from the hallway.

"Afterwhile, crocodile?" I jump out of my skin at the sound of his voice…

"Shit!"

"Oh, Scout. Shit is right. I'm about to beat you within two inches of your life. Say your prayers, kid..."

I hang my head. Oh well…

You win some, you lose some…

~D*C~

Dean's POV

"How's the California air for ya, son?"

"It's…California air."

I sigh. Even though we've come a long way, it's still hard to talk to him about anything without getting defensive. Hell, he put me in the fucking hospital for God's sake!

"Look, Jo…Dad, I'm sorry," I mutter softly. He laughs quietly into the phone.

"No need to apologize, Dean. I'm still surprised that you even talk to me after all that I put you through," he says openly. We share a laugh.

"It's fine, Dad. I mean it," I whisper honestly.

A lot has changed in the last five years, and surprisingly, it has all been good.

Dad finally completed rehab and counseling. Sam and I had to go to his last few sessions, which was interesting to say the least. We were finally able hash out all of the shit that he put us through, though. He never got over Mom's murder, deciding to wreak havoc on any and everyone who he felt deserved to be punished for whatever reason. He never said whether or not he found the person who did it, but I feel that he did. I think that's one of the reasons that he finally decided to tie things up.

"How's Lawrence?" I ask nonchalantly.

"A daily struggle to survive," he grumbles. I really should feel sorry for him, but I don't.

It sucks facing those you fucked off.

We chat about random things for a while before I decide to end the call and get to unpacking. I pass Scout's room…and the silence is deafening. He's wallowing in defeat right now, so he won't be saying shit for the next two or three days. I've really got to start watching that kid more often. He's getting too fucking smart…

"Just wait til I tell Jess," I mumble to myself.

Said mother officially met her son about three years ago. He was just as we expected him to be: relieved that she was pretty.

"I'm so gwad you are pwetty! I was scared!"

She had finally opened her own practice, so she didn't have to worry about the presence of her boss any longer. He was kinda pissed about being borne of anger, but he was still happy to finally know his mom.

"I will now fit you into my schedwule!"

All we could do was shake our damn heads. She and Charlie have been active parts of his life ever since. Beforehand, Jess had basically done things from the shadows. She always made sure he was well taken care of, sending money and sneaking over to watch him sleep or what have you. It definitely helps to have her openly interacting with him now. Daddy can finally catch a breather.

When I round the corner and see all of the boxes that I still have to unpack…I rethink that last statement…

"Not just yet, Daddyo, not just yet…"

~D*C~

"Dean!"

"What."

"Whatever!"

I smirk at my brother as he scowls at me.

"I love the sand much more now!" I pipe happily. Sadly, Sammy doesn't share my sentiments…

He glares and flips me off.

"Bitch."

"Asshat."

"Why don't you two quite being childish and vulgar. There are children around," Michael chides lightly. We both look down shamefully.

"Sorry," we say in unison. He hums in approval.

Sam and Mike have officially become a solid item, even becoming engaged just last month. I am truly happy for the two of them. I know that I put Sam through a lot of emotional torment growing up, although that is exactly what I tried to prevent. Jess once told me that in trying to protect him, I hurt him all the same. However, she said it was a different kind of hurt, one that actually helped mold him into the man that we all know and love today.

A pleasant lie, that.

Michael is the best thing for him, in my honest opinion. He's a lot like me, just without all of the fucked up baggage and shit. He's a solid testament to a good raising and ceaseless willpower. He so in love with Sammy, so I know he'll never hurt him and vice versa. The way that they look at one another makes my heart both swell and clench. It's a most fucked up feeling. With all of the wonderful bright and shininess that my life has become, that's the one thing that I want most...

To love again.

I've since dated a few guys here and there, but nothing too serious. If I see that it's not going to go anywhere, I just keep it light and playful. I haven't fucked anyone, though, nor have I allowed any of them near Scout. He'd chew 'em up and spit 'em out.

"Daddy, look! I built a dungeon! Now, I will seek crabs to lock away! Pinch someone, they will not!"

"That's my boy!"

I laugh heartily at my son's antics. He's a happy little fucker, but he has such a dark and twisted mindset. Oh well, just as long as he's happy, I guess.

"Hey, Dean?" I look up curiously.

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"We still watching the kiddo tonight?" he asks. It takes me a moment before I remember what he's asking about.

"Oh yeah! If you guys don't mind. I'd really, really appreciate it." Michael smiles gently.

"Of course, Dean. You should've already known the answer, though," he chides lightly.

"I know, but still. You know how I am about things like that," I offer nonchalantly. They both nod.

"I guess it's too late to hope that you'd grow out of it," Sam mumbles sarcastically. He gets yet another face full of sand.

Mike and I laugh before turning back to watch Scout as he runs across the beach, tormenting the shit outta some crabs.

"Hey, have you heard from Jo?" Sam asks suddenly. I shake my head as I chuckle lightly.

"She's…Jo," I reply cryptically.

Mike and I share a look. Sam huffs and goes to play with Scout as we erupt into laughter yet again. We have quite the relationship, he and I. We understand each other, which is something that I haven't had in a very long time. I couldn't imagine my life without him. We may live on opposite coasts, but we keep in touch.

"The two of them really seem to have become quite the dynamic duo, huh," he says quietly. I smile solemnly.

"They really have. She'd be so proud," I whisper.

Even though she survived the accident, Meg truly never recovered from being paralyzed. We all figured after the fact that she ultimately did it for Jo.

"I miss her," I offer softly. Michael nods.

About two years ago, Jo came home to find Meg gone. We all knew she couldn't have gone far. She was in a wheelchair, after all.

We searched and searched until Jo grew suddenly quiet.

"I know where she's at."

We made our way back to the Roadhouse. And sure enough, there she was. She was sitting in the exact spot where they shared their first kiss.

"Oh Meg…"

The sheer pain that shredded her voice made my heart stop beating. She had managed to dress herself in the same outfit and everything, truly immersing herself in the moment. She had taken a handful of meds and mixed them with champagne, the same kind her and Jo had gotten drunk off of. It was both beautiful and heart-wrenching. Jo was never mad at her, though. She knew exactly why she had done it.

"We had begun arguing about everything. It was so stressful on us…on me. She didn't want that for us anymore…she loved me too much…"

After the funeral, Jo was in a bad place. She too ended up going to see Jess for help, which helped immensely. Jess is definitely blessed.

Anywho, at some point, her and Gabriel ended up coming across one another. Gabriel had decided to travel the world, and offered Jo a place by his side. The two have been globe-trotting ever since.

"It was good that they found one another. Gabe was just…here, although his words of wisdom were incomparable," Michael says lightly. I can't help but agree.

Gabriel was always the one I turned to when shit went south. He never judged. He was just blunt and honest as fuck. If you couldn't take it, you shouldn't have asked. Whenever I think about it, I see him and Jo being perfect for one another. Ellen and Bobby both miss her, but they have Dad to deal with now, so they aren't too bitter.

"Well, I think it's about time that we get up and go have some fun with Sammy Boy," I pipe cheerfully, standing up. I offer Michael my hand, who takes it happily.

"Lead the way, Dean, lead the way…"

~D*C~

"Welcome, sir. What is the last name on the reservation?"

"Winchester."

"Ah, found it. Follow me, please."

The young woman smiles at me before leading me to a table far in the back, secluded from everyone else. I smile as I notice my date is already here.

"The waiter will be with you shortly," she whispers. I smile at her softly.

"Thank you," I say before walking soundlessly behind my companion for the night.

"Boo," I whisper playfully in his ear. He jumps, turning around to stare at me bewildered before glaring slightly.

"So not funny," he grumbles before quietly laughing. I just shake my head as I take my seat.

"So, let's get this date underway then," I chime happily. He nods, smiling softly.

"Dean Winchester," I say, holding out my hand for him to shake. He does so firmly.

"Castiel Novak. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dean."

We look at each other for a moment before busting into laughter.

"That was rich," I say. He just rolls his eyes at me before leaning across the table.

"Look, Dean. I'm so glad you invited me out tonight. It really means the world to me." I shrug lightly.

"It's the least I can do. You're not getting a gift from me, so…yeah," I say nonchalantly. He rolls his eyes yet again.

"Whatever."

Castiel and I have finally reached a point where we can talk again. It has taken a lot of time, but it is what it is.

About a month ago, he reached out to me on Facebook. At first, I was resistant, but as time went on, I became much more receptive to the idea of communication and reconciliation. One thing led to another, and here we are, having dinner in LA.

"So, how's the planning coming?" I ask idly. He sighs.

"I have advised him that I need a breather. I'm not the wedding-planning type, so I'm extremely overwhelmed," he says honestly.

I decide to ask him the question that he needs to answer but is afraid to.

"Is this what you really want?" He looks down for a moment.

I say nothing when he reaches across and grabs my hand, playing with it.

"This is what I really want, Dean. I want another chance. I want another shot at us. I know that you're probably thinking of all the ways to say 'hell no' right about now, and I understand that. But Samandriel…he's not you. I shouldn't have left you. I love you. I've learned to be honest with myself and others since I left those years ago. I put the engagement on hold and moved out on my own. We are still together, but our future is up in the air until I figure this out."

I can see the honesty in his eyes. Michael had told me about a year ago how different Castiel had become. Even looking at him now, I can see how much more human he is. He has an entirely different vibe to him now. But giving him another chance…that is gonna take some thought and some work. I've gotten over it now. Truth be told…

"I've forgiven you," I say, staring directly into his eyes. His gaze never leaves mine.

"I…don't know what to think or feel right now. I've lived my life without you for so long that I've gotten used to it. You definitely weren't the first to hurt me, and I'd be stupid to think you'd be the last. However, I'd prefer to not welcome disaster, Castiel. I can see that you've grown finally, but I've got to think about this."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider trying again with him these last five years. I do miss him, now that I've gotten all of that old shit out of the way. Even so, I haven't let myself truly delve into that because it is also part of that old shit unfortunately. I can't go back to putting bodies in the fucking closet. Part of moving on is moving forward, not in reverse.

"Tell me what's going on in that head of yours, Dean," he pleads gently, now having locked my fingers with his. I can't help but smile down fondly.

"I am going to level with you. I can't say yes, but I can't say no either. That doesn't matter at the moment, though. You've gotta decide what to do about Samandriel. I won't waste my time waiting for you. If you truly want to pursue what you really and truly want, then you have to learn how to take charge and go after it."

He nods stiffly before diving deep into thought. I turn my gaze towards the window, enjoying the beautiful view of the California night.

I've grown a lot in the past five years, letting go of a lot of anger and angst or what have you. With Castiel, I've gotten over everything and solidly moved on. Like I said earlier, I do miss his companionship sometimes. When we were good, we were good. When we sucked, though, we truly sucked. That being said, I am now grown enough to be consider any form of connection with him. I'm willing to be friends for sure. Anything else is gonna take a lot of work.

"Dean?"

I glance at him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

I smile warmly. I'm not sure where to go from here, but for once, I'm letting life take the reins.

"Anytime. Now, let's order."

~D*C~

Castiel's POV

Six months later…

"You ready?"

I turn to the man beside me, taking a deep breath.

A lot has changed recently for me, and mostly for the good. I'm not sure how this is going to turn out, though, but with him by my side, I'm sure that I can make it.

After my trip to California, I had a lot of thinking to do. For over ten years, I had lived my life as a coward. I ran away from any form of commitment, and I let everyone else make my decisions for me. I may have gained a lot of knowledge, but I lost almost everything that was ever precious to me. Ten years, and I didn't even know my own happiness.

As we stand outside of these doors, I know that things are never going to be the same. I'm about to face all of the things that I've run away from all these years, and that scares the utter shit out of me. However, in order for me to go after the things that I truly want, this is what I must do.

Here we go…

"I'm ready," I say firmly.

He smiles warmly at me before pushing open the door and ushering us both inside…

"You must be Castiel. There's not need to look like a cat facing a bath. My name is Jessica, but you can call me Jess."

I smile shyly as I shake her hand.

"I sorry. This is…"

"A very hard step to take, but a good one. The man beside you knows all too well. Isn't that right, Dean?"

He chuckles deep in his throat, nodding while staring deep into my eyes.

"True story. Alrighty, Castiel, let's get this show on the road," he says playfully.

As we settle on the couch and begin chatting, I feel for the first time in my life that I am taking charge and doing what's right. I'm not sure where Dean and I will end up after this, but I am more than certain of one thing…

He'll be able to call me 'Cas' again.

~D*C~

I have thoroughly enjoyed this journey with you guys. I really hope you have all enjoyed it with me. The ending ended up being a fairly happy one after all, huh? Let me know what you guys think! I hope that it satisfies you all ^-^