Sorry for the delay, horrible weather over in sunny old England has made work that much harder. Hope you enjoy the chapter.
Kathryn's night went uninterrupted on the second time of trying, she woke up to an empty bed however as she drifted towards consciousness. Briefly wondering how long she had been asleep, Kathryn sat up and allowed the coverers to fall away from her body. It was probably the first time she had woken up feeling well rested for quite a while. The ship hummed beneath her alerting her to the fact that they were still at warp. It was unlikely that they had found the Borg yet given their current speed. Placing her feet on the floor Kathryn stood up and stretched her aching muscles, she wasn't getting any younger and the recent activity was starting to take its toll on her body.
Hearing no noise coming from the forward section of the flyer, Kathryn allowed herself a small frown to fall on her face. Tom was a chatty person by nature, often it had been his voice on the bridge that filled the silent moments. The Doctor to was not afraid to fill the air with the sound of his own voice, Kathryn often wondered if he enjoyed his own inane chatter as much as she loathed it. The silence between the two now was disconcerting. It made Kathryn wonder if something had happened during her slumber. Deciding that whatever it was had not been important enough to wake her, therefore could wait until she had got herself dressed.
Tom sat next to the Doctor who seemed engrossed in his Padd, he had made no move to talk to Tom since he has woken up earlier that morning, and for now Tom was content with that. He had been unsure when he had woken up about what to do. For as much as he wanted to stay and hold Kathryn his mind would not allow him to relax back into her embrace. It was easier before, Tom didn't know what he had been missing, the line between being good friends and something more was very clear and very real. Now he had felt that other side of her, the woman unleashed if only for a moment, that line had not only become blurred, but almost entirely erased. Once awake Tom grew more and more nervous that Kathryn would wake up and discover just how much that she affected him. Moving away carefully from her as not to disturb her Tom had gone to the front section of the flyer and unceremoniously dropped himself in the navigational chair. The Doctor had barely looked at him, merely giving him a cursory glance, before his attention was returned to the sensors.
Almost out of habit Tom asked for a report but the Doctor had nothing of interest to tell him. The conversation had ended abruptly there, neither one offering up another topic of conversation until Tom requested to swap seats. The Doctor obliged with a small smile picking up the Padd he had been reading and moving deftly across to the opposite chair.
"I am glad the Admiral seems to be able to sleep again." The Doctor said almost out of the blue as Tom ran his own scans after they had swapped seat. There was something in the Doctor's tone that almost had a grateful quality to it. Tom turned his head and looked at the Doctor who seemed to have gone back to reading his Padd and Tom wondered if the Doc had required a response at all.
"Yeah I think she really needed it." Tom said finally feeling like it was the standard response to such a question. That was unless he wanted to open a can of worms he would rather keep closed right now. Plus if he was going address the issue of his and Kathryn's sleeping arrangements it would be with her. Not the Doc. As that thought filtered across his mind Tom could here movement from behind him. The subtle swish of the sheets and the sound of bare feet padding around was almost loud in the silence of the ship. Tom was again filled with mixed emotions. He wanted to see Kathryn, talk to her and enjoy her company. But his heart hammered in his cheat, and his fingers tapped the console in a nervous response to her impending arrival. It was silly he had known this woman for a decade, he had seen her in every situation known to man, and yet because he had seen desire in her eyes, desire that had been aimed at him. Now along with the feelings of contentment when she was around, was also the feeling of trepidation. His thoughts were cut short by the alert sirens going off on his console.
"Tom what's going on?" Kathryn barked almost appearing out of nowhere as soon as the klaxon sounded. Tom's hands flew over the console trying to figure out what was setting off all the alarms.
"I'm not sure." He replied as the Doctor moved over to let Kathryn in to the navigational chair. He moved back towards tactical as Kathryn sat down and immediately hitting the mute button for the klaxon. She couldn't concentrate with all that noise going off around her. Maybe it was the close quarters, maybe it was just the stress of knowing what was waiting for them, or perhaps it was just the rush of adrenaline, but Kathryn's nerves were beyond frayed. Without the time to contemplate her anguished body chemistry Kathryn finally found the cause of the sirens.
"Looks like we are not as alone out here as we thought, the long range sensors have picked up what looks like a dissipating ion trail." Kathryn said trying to get a better read on the signature.
"Tom get us closer I can't tell from here what ship it came from." Kathryn said without looking at him, but she knew he would do as she asked without question. As the flyer approached the signature Kathryn looked over her readings a few more times.
"It's too degraded to get an accurate reading, but it appears to be leading towards a planet a few light years from here." Kathryn said finally looking up and connecting her gaze with Tom. He looked back at her his eyes trying to read the emotion behind the mask she had once again erected. The moment however was interrupted by the sound of the Doctor.
"Could it be Borg?" He enquired and the question was not only legitimate but also relevant. The moment forgotten up at the helm Kathryn turned back to her readouts and shook her head.
"I can't rule it out." She replied turning to look at the Doctor briefly before directing her gaze forwards once more.
"Then may I suggest we follow it. If the queen knows we are looking for her, we may have altered her plan of attack. For whatever reason that planet may be some kind of power source, or base of operations." The Doctor said looking at the back of two heads, neither of which turned to acknowledge him for a moment.
"Yeah and it could be a Tar kalian merchant vessel delivering supplies, the Borg might fly right passed us as we check this out." Tom said finally turning his chair so he was looking at both his companions now. He wasn't sure which way Kathryn was leaning right now, her face remained and emotionless slate as she sat there and looked at her sensors again. For the briefest of moments he was back on Voyager, back almost at the beginning of their journey when they had been faced with a similar dilemma. They had tracked a Kazon vessel into a nebula; one they had believed contained Seska. It was after extensive scans and a lot of waiting later, they had tracked an ion trail away from the nebula. Following it they had almost been destroyed by a waiting armada of Kazon ships. It had been a trap, but the expression on Kathryn's face back then had been the same. To continue on their journey, or follow the trail knowing it could put them in danger. If Tom knew Kathryn at all, and he had reason to believe he did, he knew they would be following that trail.
"How long will it take us to reach that planet at maximum warp?" Kathryn asked after a moment, and the Doctor answered her before Tom could even check on the data. He had the sneaking suspicion that the Doc had come to the same conclusion as himself.
"Six hours, that is assuming they did indeed stop at the planet." The Doc pointed out as Kathryn gave him a raised eyebrow over her shoulder before sitting back in her chair.
"Ok we check out the planet, if we find nothing there then we will continue on our previous course." Kathryn said knowing that both her companions had already figured out what she was going to do. She had seen the look on Tom's face, and the speed at which the Doctor had answered her inquiry. The course was laid in and the flyer was off almost before Kathryn had finished speaking, the ion trail there only guild to where they were going at this point. They had no idea what they were going to find at the other end, but this is why they joined Starfleet wasn't it, to explore the unknown. Load knows the three people in that flyer had taken that part of their duties to the next level and beyond. Now they were just doing it again, this time to perhaps preserve their very existence.
Kathryn had retired to the aft section, she was running an analysis on the ion trail, trying to get a better idea of what ship, or how many ships had made it. The quite was something that once was her friend, now seemed to be an oppressive force bearing down on her shoulders. It had been too long and to frequent on this journey to be a comfort now and as the door hissed open behind her, Kathryn turned round to welcome the distraction.
"Doctor." She said half surprised, half curious. She was almost certain that her visitor would have been Tom. The look on the Doctors' face however was one of serious contemplation. Something Kathryn had not often seen in her holographic friend.
"I have been thinking for a while now about your memories Admiral, I have also come to the conclusion that you have been lying." He said his usual arrogance of absolute certainly seemed to waver as he spoke. A slight pause in his artificial breath alerted Kathryn to that fact, it did not however stop her from standing upright and placing her hand on her hips.
"Lying Doctor, on what do you base that?" she snapped, feeling both angry about being questioned, and guilty for being found out.
"You never asked me what happened to you. It used to be your first question, wanting all the information you could obtain, usually in the shortest amount of time possible. You didn't ask Mr Paris either, in fact you have been distancing yourself from him in recent days. Something in contradiction to past events. You had been using him as your support, your council and your moral compass. A function you had previously sought in either commander Tuvok, or Chacotay. My only conclusion is that you do in fact remember everything about what happened when you were under the influence of the virus." The Doctor concluded and Kathryn almost had to sit down. Forcing herself to remain upright and face the consequences of the Doctors discovery she allowed her hands to drop from her hips. It was a simple gesture of defeat, but effect none the less.
"So you know, does Tom?" Kathryn enquired as the Doctor approached her. He looked down into her eyes and for a moment Kathryn swore she could see admiration there. It was quickly replaced by a look of concentration as the Doctor thought about his reply.
"No I don't think so, not consciously, but he is struggling with his own feelings right now. Figuring out yours is something he is not capable of right at this moment." He said placing one hand on Kathryn's shoulder. She looked down at it, wanting to shrug it off and allow it to support her at the same time.
"Then I think it should stay that way. We are going into a difficult situation, and dragging all this up now is not a good idea." Kathryn said finally allowing the Doctor to hold her shoulder, but not leaning on him either.
"I came here to offer you some advice Admiral, as your friend, not your physician. Even if the results could be beneficial to your mental health." The Doctor was rambling and Kathryn found herself loosing patients with him, almost irrationally so and she had to quell the rising emotions inside her.
"Go on." Kathryn managed to get out, still sounding reasonable, but she had to consciously relax her fist as the Doctor spoke.
"I think you should tell him, because you may not get another chance." His words made her body relax almost immediately; no longer did she feel the swell of anger inside her, only recognition, that however much it pained her, the Doc was right.
"Perhaps, some things are better left unsaid." Kathryn finally said, no matter how right he was, she still had this mission to consider. She could not have Tom distracted with thoughts of what had happened and how she was feeling about it. The Doctor did not look as though he was about to simply accept her response as he opened his mouth to speak. Kathryn beat him to it however.
"Dismissed Doctor." The tone of her voice denoted that of the order being non-negotiable and the Doctor for once turned and walked towards the door.
"There is one thing I will never get, and that is the human need to punish itself when it comes to love." With that the Doctor left Kathryn alone in the aft compartment, the silence surrounding her still felt oppressive, the Doctors words hung in the air like smoke. Thick and heavy and just as dangerous. Love, but she was not in love with Tom, she had been under the influence of a virus.
"Then why are you so afraid to tell him you remember." Kathryn said to herself out loud breaking the silence in her isolation for a moment. The words did little to comfort her though, they had the effect of making her shudder. Looking once more at her sensor readouts and seeing that she could discern no more information than they already had she switched off the terminal.
"Computer time to destination?" Kathryn asked as she stood alone in the room.
"Two hours twenty one minutes to the destination." It replied as Kathryn pulled subconsciously on her shirt as she approached the door and activated the sensor to open it. Hearing no sounds coming from the forward compartment again, Kathryn now understood the silence between the two. Both were thinking about the same thing, probably for different reasons, but the incident that had happened two days ago had already had a profound effect on her crew. Kathryn could not afford to avoid the situation any longer, but how did you go about telling one of your closest friends that you remember how his body felt. How his lips made your knees tremble and how if they ever got out of this one you would like to try it again. Kathryn did not know the answer to her question, but maybe Tom might.
So will Kathryn face Tom, or will she avoid it again, hoping that in reaching the planet the discussion would be a moot point anyway? Thank you for all the reviews so far please keep them coming and I will endeavour to update as quickly as possible. Thank you for reading XxX.