A/N: Yes, I threw things at my TV screen last night 9/27.
Where my mind took me after 4x03.
It's like he can see every single emotion flashing across his own face in Rachel's eyes. He says nothing, just staring at her while she stares right back him, her mouth set in a grim line.
He senses the other person in the room walk closer to them. After a second's hesitation the dick finally realizes him being here is the worst idea ever, and he eyes Finn warily as he steps pass. He's shorter than Finn - then again, who isn't? - and maybe it's the pure rage in Finn's eyes why he says nothing. He glances back at Rachel before walking towards the elevator.
Finn turns his head slowly to watch as the asshole presses the lift button, their eyes meeting for a brief second. The guy stares back, unblinking, holding his gaze. He wants to walk over and pummel his face into oblivion, leave him bloody and broken on the floor, and even then he wouldn't be hurting nowhere as much as how he's hurting inside.
Thankfully, the lift doors open and the guy hurries inside.
Soft sounds reach through the haze in his mind, and he realizes Rachel is talking, stumbling over her words as she wrings her hands in front of her. He turns his head back to her, his heart thudding painfully loud in his ears, blocking out her words, amplifying his heartbreak.
This can't be happening.
"Finn, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." She whispers, her palm touching her chest as she apologizes.
She's not wearing her ring. And his name is missing from her its usual place on her chain around her neck.
He wishes the ground would just swallow him. He can't do this. No. Not now. After…everything?
"Rach – please. Don't." He manages to croak out.
His fiancée – girlfriend, heck - he doesn't even know what to call her anymore – steps back in surprise at his voice, tears leaking from her eyes as she covers her mouth with a shaking hand.
He blinks away the tears burning his eyes, shaking his head, wanting nothing more than to erase the image of another man inside Rachel's apartment. Of Rachel's swollen lips, her blouse askew, hair messy – looking nothing like the girl he had last seen two months ago.
He supposes it's his fault though. Letting her go, on their wedding day. Sending her away, alone, to the city of her dreams.
A dream that he couldn't bear her to give up or put on hold because of his own setback. Rachel deserved – deserves – better. And he wanted to be that for her. And more.
He watches one tear make its way down her cheek, and another, until she crying softly in front of him, her shoulders shaking as she tries to wipe the tears away.
It gives him some small satisfaction, and he hates it, seeing her like this. She knows. He knows she knows, because he hasn't said anything but those three words but she must know how he feels about this.
She didn't just surrender. She let him go. How – why else?
He needs to leave, before he makes an even bigger fool of himself, standing there, while the girl he had promised to love forever broke his heart – again – the same way she did before. He swallows the bile in his throat because he had expected the tears, really. He had expected the heartbreak, her anger. He had been fully prepared to plead, bawl, cry, beg her to listen, to understand.
He just wanted a chance. One last chance.
But now.
He doesn't know what he wants anymore.
Before he leaves, he pulls the small bundle of envelopes from his backpack - 62 envelopes to be exact. One for every day he had spent away from her. One for every promise he planned on fulfilling when they were married. One for every day that he had missed her. One for every day closer to when he would see her again. One for every day he had loved her more.
He drops them at her feet, watching her eyes as they seem to widen in understanding. She sniffs and hiccups, a breathy ohmyGod slipping from her lips.
He turns while she's not looking at him, strides to the stairs, too impatient to wait for the lift. Leaving her standing there crying, leaving both their hearts shattered on her doorstep.
He doesn't know how they can come back from this. If they ever can.
He finally lets the tears fall down his face, when he's back outside on the road, where the sudden downpour can easily wash them away.
A/N: Yes, it sucks. Not happy with Rachel Berry now.