Kala was on edge for the rest of the day; she half expected to see the commander standing in every corner, every niche she passed, reaching out to grab her and do terrible things. As evening came and she hadn't seen the commander or any other Wraith she let out a tiny breath of relief and kept shooting glances at the clock hanging for the worshippers' convenience in the canteen. Five minutes, five endless minutes before the shifts change. Her fingers drummed an impatient rhythm on the table.
"You're as excited as if you were going on a date." Sarali entered the room, returning from her chores in another part of the ship. Kala hadn't seen her since breakfast and looked up as Sarali asked mockingly, "Don't want to keep Wraithy waiting?"
"Laugh at me, I deserve it." Kala was already half way to the dormitory to change her clothes. "Today I did my best to place us in deadly peril – twice – stupid cow that I am. I want to see if he's alright."
"Whoa, what? Could you please run 'deadly peril twice' past me again?" Sarali caught up with Kala who tossed her shirt carelessly on top of the giant heap of laundry sitting near the entrance of the dormitory. "And then the bit about you wanting to see if he's alright, if you don't mind?"
"Not now, Sarali. I'll tell you later tonight when I come back…" Kala's voice trailed off, then she shook her head firmly. "No. Pray to any deity you find appropriate he's alright and I'll get to him safely, then I won't come back tonight."
Sarali stepped back and eyed Kala who had changed and had untied her hair and was brushing it fiercely. "So you have made up your mind. Can't say I'm surprised. I wish you the best of luck and will keep my fingers crossed for you."
Kala battled against a particularly persistent knot in her hair and tugged at the brush with force, only stopping for a second to glare at Sarali. "What? Just because I want to check on him doesn't mean I want to marry him, or whatever such a bond is called."
"O-kay." Sarali raised her hands. "If you say so."
Kala hurled the brush onto her bunk, ignoring the loud thud which indicated that she had missed her aim and had hit another worshipper. Sighing, she turned to hug Sarali. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to snarl at you – I'm just very edgy today. Thank you for your good wishes."
"You're welcome." Sarali hugged Kala back, leading her gently away from the worshipper who complained about irresponsible jerks who threw their stuff at fellow humans. "Just take care of yourself whatever you do, okay?"
"I will." Turning, she fled from the worshippers' quarters.
The way to his quarters was a nightmare while she pictured the terrible things she could see when she arrived – if she ever arrived. In her mind she pictured the door shred and splintered, Rees's body lying in a pool of blood, all too like the pool she had to clean up when she met him and the commander would be standing behind the door and reach out at her, feeding hand aiming for her chest… Part of her wanted to turn around and go back to the relative safety of the worshippers' quarters, part of her wanted to sit down on the floor and cry, but the part driving her on was her stubborn optimism that growled No, No, No, like a mantra.
The door was intact when she finally arrived, solid and reassuring. Good start. Kala knocked and tried to listen to any sounds from within the room but her own heartbeat was too loud. Three hundred years later the door opened to reveal a smug-looking Rees. As he saw her expression he lifted a brow questioningly. "What is it? You look surprised to find me here."
Kala sagged a bit and swallowed. "It's nothing. I'm just… I had a trying day." She blushed and entered the room, not looking at him and then went to the desk where she could see the now familiar data tablet.
As she reached out for the tablet she noticed a small parcel lying next to the tablet but she ignored it, pointedly making an attempt to continue her language studies and hiding her confused feelings. Rees stopped her by saying "I thought you might like to open the parcel before we continue with your lessons."
Frowning, Kala looked at the parcel again, picked it up and asked, "This is for me?" It felt nondescript and was wrapped in plain brown paper. "What is it?" She looked at Rees who had stepped up to her.
"I assume opening it will answer your question," he replied, his hands clasped behind his back while he was watching her with keen interest, eager to see her reaction. "Often a small sign of appreciation can motivate a student in many ways."
Nonplussed, Kala fumbled with the paper until one corner gave way, and tore it open, her fingers clumsy with pent up nervousness. As she removed the wrappings, her hands trembled even more when she recognised the rectangular object inside. The paper dropped out of her hands and fell to the floor.
No. This can't be, it just can't. I must be mistaken. An intricately braided leather strap was adorning the object, tightly wound around one edge to keep it closed. A book, but no ordinary one. Loosening the strap and releasing the pages Kala relished the feel of her thumb running along the edge, flicking open page after page of heavy, rough, pure white paper, perfect for sketching.
There were also pencils and brushes and ink in a small wooden box. This is a dream, and I'm going to wake up any second. Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes and she almost dropped the precious parcel on the floor – it was too much to bear. Placing the sketch-book carefully down next to her, Kala sat on the desk, rubbing the back of her hands over her eyes ineffectively, attempting to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.
"I was under the impression this gift would please you but yet you cry."
Rees was observing her with a strange glint in his eyes though he hadn't moved. Before she could stop herself, before she could give a second thought to what she was doing she jumped up and flung her arms around his neck.
She held him close and murmured "It's perfect," into his ear. "It's the best present I've ever had in my life, thank you." She could feel him breathing in sharply but he wasn't moving, he just stood there and she grew worried she might have done something very stupid. Maybe it's against some sort of Wraith behaviour code to attack-hug a Wraith just like that. "Sorry," she mumbled.
Feeling like an idiot she unwrapped her arms from his neck and wanted to step back but she found she couldn't because two arms appeared around her waist, two strong arms attached to a Wraith.
"No," he said quietly. "Do not feel sorry." Fearing she would see his all too familiar smug grin she hesitated to meet his eyes but he was calm and serious, his voice even as he said "Do that again. Please."
The voices inside Kala battled with each other but she didn't want to listen to them anymore – all she heard were the echoes of the word "please". Why not? What could happen? Crippled with sudden shyness she placed her arms around his neck and was drawn closer into the embrace as Rees' hold tightened around her waist. She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of his soft hair against her cheek, his strange yet familiar scent, his steady breathing and his heartbeat, not so very different from a human's. Neither of them spoke, for there was no need for words, they stood savouring each others presence for what could have been an hour, a day or a year.
The moment had to end. Not wanting to let go she loosened her embrace and pulled away, her cheek brushing against his, but he refused to release her, though she could feel he would let her break free. Yet she found herself reluctant to move further away from him. Rees' warm breath caressing her skin felt exciting and her heart skipped a beat while she stood there, hands still on his shoulders, focused on her inner voices, looking for advice. But those ever doubtful voices were silent. Without thinking she leaned back into Rees' embrace, knowing he felt the same anticipation.
Every choice you have made until now has lead you to this moment, right here, right now…
Making the final choice she closed the gap between them, tilting her head so her mouth met his, all her senses focused on the sweet moment their lips touched. For a second the unsettling image of his sharp teeth flashed across her mind but all her worries dissolved as he responded to her kiss with great care and skill, his lips soft and gentle, and she opened her mouth slightly to wholly embrace his touch and breath.
Cautiously he explored her mouth, slowly as if he wanted to encourage her to take the initiative. Arms snaking back around his neck, Kala sank into his embrace as their kiss deepened further, falling into the longing she'd held back for so long with every passing second. Becoming more confident, she pressed her lips on his almost urgently, finally sure this was exactly what she wanted – and more.
For some reason she could not explain this kiss was the most natural thing in the world. As he let his lips explore the curve of her neck it felt so very right. Bending her head to the side she offered him access to her neck while she tangled her fingers in the silky length of his hair. Nuzzling the slender column with gentle kisses, she felt a soft nip as his teeth pricked her sensitive skin, playfully capturing it before releasing it again, and a pleasant shiver ran down her spine.
"Hmmm…," she sighed, closing her eyes, relishing and surrendering to his touch while his mouth moved down her neck to her shoulder. Don't think, just let it happen…
Rees' hands were softly massaging her waist, moving gradually upwards along her body and she couldn't stifle a gasp as his fingertips found her breasts. Knowing thumbs traced narrowing circles around her nipples until, upon reaching the centre, hot bursts of energy released themselves, rushing through her body and extinguishing the last remnants of doubt.
The wicked lust she had restrained for so long began to pulse painfully in her belly and made her cling to Rees, pressing his firm, muscular body to her. Her breathing heavy, she digged her fingers into his flesh, revelling in his harsh, wild scent, mingled with the aroma of desire and sweat.
An unexpected, small wraithy chuckle brought her to her senses for a moment, apparently Rees was not only enjoying himself, he also thought it was funny. You're laughing? At me? For falling into your sweet trap? Just you wait, I'm gonna show you, she thought with a cunning glint in her eyes, then taking his face into her hands and burying her fingers in his hair, she kissed him, passionate and demanding, her daring tongue feeling its way past his dangerous teeth.
Taking him with her as she moved back, Kala aimed for the edge of the desk to lean against, as her weak knees didn't support her anymore and she fumbled for the fastenings of his heavy coat with impatient fingers. Unzipping it, she slid her hands beneath his undershirt, running her palms along his smooth bare skin, feeling his muscles tighten under her touch.
She explored his spine, stroking and caressing the sensitive ridges while he held his breath, and the sweet kiss was interrupted by a hoarse growl, almost a groan, as he clawed his fingers into her buttocks, pushing her back against the desk and lifting her up. More than willing she parted her legs when he came between her thighs and pushed his leather-clad hips against her with unexpected force, and an unrestrained moan escaped her as she felt his hard maleness pressing against her.
Relishing the suspense to the fullest and dizzy with lust, her body began to move on instinct in response to his, grinding against him in a sweet seductive rhythm, and her head sank back with a gasp… she wanted nothing more than feel him deep inside her.
Without warning he stopped and pleasure drained away, leaving Kala disappointed and confused when he broke the kiss to look her straight in the eyes, his gaze veiled with craving and his body tense with restraint. Barely audible, he rasped, "You told me you are bleeding…?"
Guilt hit her like a hammer and she went rigid. "I'm so sorry," she breathed. "I lied." Alarmed she felt his right hand claw into her chest and he growled loudly.
"Please don't. I'm sorry, really," she whispered desperately. "I was stupid, I was confused and scared." The menacing growling continued but changed its pitch and came in waves now. He's laughing, she realised shocked. Pulling away from him she exclaimed with indignation "You were pulling my leg!"
He grinned at her lasciviously. "I knew you were lying right from the beginning." Cold fear gripped her as his grin faded, the gleam in his catlike eyes paralysing her as his feeding hand hovered over her chest. "You cannot hide anything from me nor will you ever again."
And here we go again. From one second to the other there was a deep trench between them – he was the terrifying Wraith again and she was degraded to a humble human once more. And it will always be like this. If you wish to lead this life you have to accept him for what he is, she thought. This is so not fair, just when everything went so well.
"I forgive you because I understand why you did it but do not ever lie to me again." Rees lifted his right hand from her chest to her cheek and touched her. "I do not want to hurt you, Kala," he said, then he kissed her forehead.
The familiar emotions, fear, doubt, disappointment and anger, were replaced by trust – and something much stronger. Kala knew he was sincere; Rees was her guardian in this harsh world full of harsh rules where a small wrong action could lead to sudden death. He only did what was his nature and what he had to do in order to survive.
Why can't we live in a perfect world? she thought. In a perfect world we wouldn't be separated by the rules of hierarchy and food chain. Swallowing, she looked up at him. All I can do is adapt – and do my best to make this world one tiny bit more perfect at a time.
"I won't lie to you again, I don't have reasons anymore." Reaching up she touched his cheek, feeling his smooth skin and tracing the groove beside his nose with her thumb. He closed his eyes and growled again, not menacing but content, the low noise sending pleasant vibrations through her body. Kala understood – as long as both of them made the effort to build bridges across the chasm separating them they would be able to understand each other and have an amicable relationship, even friendship. Or maybe even something beyond that, she thought as he dipped his head and kissed her mouth gently.
The careful touch let her relax again and she wrapped her arms around his neck as they slowly found their way back into each others embrace.
"Do you still want to mate with me?" he whispered into her ear and she could hear him smirk.
"No," she replied. "I don't want to mate with you, I want to make love with you."
Slowly following the curve of her jaw, tender as a summer's breeze, his soft lips touched her skin, igniting fireworks inside her head and teasing her, he murmured, "There is a difference?"
"More a matter of perspective." And right now, for me, it's all the difference in the world, she thought while burying her face in his hair and pushing away the heavy coat from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor with a muffled thud.
"I see," Rees was stroking her waist and pushed her shirt up as his hands glided upwards along her body. Getting rid of her own shirt she attempted to remove his, sliding her hands up his well-trained torso and tracing the curly tattoos playfully. "Come with me," he purred, picking both her hands carefully from his chest and dragging her slowly to the bed. Good idea, she thought while she felt his hands grasp her butt as he slowly took care of the removal of her pants, before, more quickly, he removed his own, together with the rest of their clothing.
Smiling slightly she let him lay her down on the blankets. This is like a strange déjà-vu, only this time is so much better than the first, she thought as joined her on the bed, hovering above her on his hands and knees, his hair brushing against her breasts.
The starlight transformed Rees into an unearthly being, terrifying and alluring, his pale skin and his silvery hair seemed to glow while the black swirls of his tattoos blended with the darkness, dissolving his contours. His eyes were no longer golden but shining deep blue and gazed intently at Kala with desire and triumph as well as hesitation.
"What is it?" she whispered. A lop-sided smile spread across his face, showing the tips of some cheeky teeth.
"Nothing to worry about, my little swan," he replied.
Kala snorted in amused surprise. Swan? He compares me to a swan? I'm neither elegant nor beautiful. She felt obliged to explain, "The big, white, plump birds on my homeworld are called geese, are you sure you don't mean one of those?"
"I know the difference between a goose and a swan." With a small chuckle he bent down to kiss her and all rational thought was wiped out. The fire in her body was blazing into life again, stronger than before, devouring everything as it fanned out, and she welcomed the sensation of his weight as he finally lowered himself on her. Oh Mother, I don't care what he calls me as long as he keeps kissing me like this.
Her hands explored his spinal ridge once more, the hard stubs felt unfamiliar yet fascinating and he obviously enjoyed the touch, rewarding her with vibrant growling which felt even better now there was no fabric to dull the contact between their skins. The growling became husky as he shifted his weight and pushed her legs apart with his knees, still gentle but purposeful.
That Wraith likes to torture me, she thought half-amused, half-desperate, when he took his time for a never-ending kiss while he held back, the head of his shaft probing her entrance, making her lift her hips to meet him with impatience. As he slid into her, slowly, savouring every second of sweet torment, Kala held her breath and her head fell back when he filled her, digging her fingers into his back.
Groaning, she surrendered and gave herself to Rees as he pulled back, enjoying the subtle touch of his hair on her sensitive skin as he moved. Lowering his head, he bit her shoulder before he pushed into her depths again, fast, the impact tingling in her bones, his mouth leaving fire on her skin as he moved down Kala's neck, along her collarbone, finding her nipples and tasting them with gentle nips. Grasping his shoulders firmly she arched her back and wrapped her legs around him as he moved deeply in her, his strangled snarl spurring her on, making her seek his mouth and kiss him, sweet and lingering, her tongue entwining with his, daring him to lose control.
She never knew anything could feel this good and she lost herself in the sensations flooding her body, in the merging of pale green and rosy skin, the physical borders between them disappearing until they were just one being, moving and breathing in unison. Feeling like liquid energy, the tension inside Kala carried her soul upwards, ever upwards to the glorious light of ecstasy, continuing until upon reaching the climax of her flight she cried out her release in a wild, unrestrained howl when she felt him spasm and reach his own peak, digging his claws into her flesh and roaring fiercely. She wrapped her arms even tighter around him as both collapsed and lay still, inseparable, clinging to each other while the remnants of passion ebbed away.
*****
Her head was lying on his chest and his deep, rumbling purr made her drowsy. He was lazily caressing her back with the tips of his fingers. "You said earlier you prefered the term 'making love' to 'mating', stating it was a matter of perspective. Does that mean your perspective about me has changed?"
"I had to make some fine adjustments to it, yes," she conceded, smiling, then swallowed, uncertain how to pose her next question, knowing she could not like the answer but still needing an answer. "What about your perspective?"
He took some time before answering. Kala already thought he might have gone to sleep and she'd have to die of uncertainty when he resumed stroking her back and murmured "My perspective about humans has not changed for several thousand years."
She sighed in disappointment. Of course, what did I expect? Then she felt his hand lift up her chin and she found herself looking into his golden eyes as he continued "That does not mean I cannot learn something new though."
A hint of his usual smug smile tugged at his mouth and she smiled back half-heartedly, not knowing just how much will he had to learn but she was more than satisfied with the turn their relationship had taken. Right now she would have done anything to keep it this way, so she let her head sink back on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat until she drifted off to sleep, feeling safe and secure for the first time since what seemed an eternity.