Christmas Eve
Joss clutched tightly to John's arm as he guided her into an elevator. "John, where are you taking me?" she asked, after being blindfolded from the moment they got into his car after leaving *Daniel, one of the most romantic and most expensive restaurants in the city. John even broke his usual look and added a festive red necktie to his dark suit.
"Trust me, Joss. We're almost there," John said, kissing her cheek.
"How many times have I heard that?"
"Just enough."
Joss thought to roll her eyes, but with this blindfold it would be a total waste. His suggestion that they dress up and go out for the evening was an idea she couldn't refuse, especially after being confined to her home for the last week with the one exception of her doctor's appointment. It was fun to put on her form-fitting red party dress with its jewel neckline, long sleeves, and high hem. She even wore her hair up for John. His being speechless when he saw her confirmed she'd made the perfect choice. The restaurant had been so beautiful and John's compliments and undivided attention free flowing.
Adding to the greatness of the evening was how good she felt. Every day she got stronger and felt better. Her check-up with Dr. Madan had gone extremely well. So impressed with the speed of the healing of her wound, he had removed the stitches, insisting she didn't have to wait for the complete dissolving process. Joss was certain David's miracle in a syringe had something to do with how fast her injury healed. The wound looked a lot better with the stitches gone, and though far from a beauty mark, she felt a whole lot sexier. Embracing that new feeling, Joss was anxious for John to stop being the perfect gentleman he'd been since her first night home, and be a really bad boy to her. She had waited almost two years for this, and the last few days had been torture. That was another reason why she'd jumped on his idea for this date, and so far it had been incredible night. But now she wanted dessert, and she didn't mean more of the decadent citrus confit ice cream they had at Daniel Restaurant. If she played her cards right, maybe tonight she would get lucky. That is, if John ever took off this blindfold. Then again, maybe she should keep it on.
The elevator came to a stop and John once again guided her forward. An instrumental version of a familiar holiday song played. Comfortable heat hit her face. Wherever they were it was toasty warm, a very welcome respite to the snowy and frigid temperatures outside.
"Okay." John removed her heavy coat and after several seconds untied the blindfold. "We're here."
Joss blinked to adjust her sight and spotted lights. Twinkling lights from the beautiful view of the city to the clear and colored lights that decorated the walls and Christmas trees in every corner of the rooftop deck to what seemed like a hundred lighted candles drew her in. A decorative wrought iron park bench where John dropped their coats, dozens of potted jasmine and bamboo trees, cushioned wrought iron chairs placed to the right of the Christmas trees, and more red roses than she thought existed in New York completed the setting. She'd seen this view of the city before, but never from so high. John's loft building.
She'd spent the entire day with him at his loft before her scheduled dinner date with **Ian Murphy. John was extremely antsy about this date at Ian's apartment and had no problems telling her how dangerous Ian could be. Though she wasn't worried, she appreciated John's concern. It was this day that she told him she knew his real name, all about his military past, and she gave him the picture she'd found at Jessica's mom's house of the two of them. He thanked her for the photo and told her all about his past, all the things the redacted file couldn't. They never talked about that day again, but they didn't have to.
"This is your building," Joss said, taking in the surrounding of the rooftop deck.
"Well, not my building, but my loft is here," he said, coming behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "What do you think?"
"This is beautiful, John." She turned around and brought him into a hug. "What is it for?"
"For? It's for you, and me, and us."
Joss stepped back and met his eyes. "But you've already decked my halls with boughs of holly, and treated me to one of the best meals I've ever had."
"I know, but I want to give you more. Something…special."
"The restaurant and dinner were special."
"Yes, but I want to woo you."
"Consider me thoroughly wooed. I honestly can't think of a thing that could be better than the last two weeks and this night have been." Well, she could think of something, but John wasn't stupid.
John tilted his head. "Hmm. I think I can come up with something better," he said with a smirk.
Joss's cheeks hurt from smiling. No, he wasn't at all stupid. "More than this romantic rooftop world of lights?" she asked?
"Yeah," he said with a nod, extending his hand to her. "Come." Accepting his hand, Joss followed him to the chairs by the tree to the immediate right and sat. "You know, there's a present underneath every tree." He stooped next to her. "I wonder who they are all for?"
"I think I can guess." She leaned over and kissed him. "You shouldn't have."
"You're my lady, and it's Christmastime." His finger gently caressed her cheek. "I definitely should have." John reached under the tree and handed her a brightly wrapped small square box. "Merry Christmas," he said, sitting in the chair next to her.
Joss shook the box. "I wonder what it is," she said, removing the bow and ripping at the paper. When a familiar blue peeked from under the torn gift wrap, her hands started to shake. Maybe she'd inhaled too much of the scent of the roses. This couldn't be from where she thought. She checked the colored box again. She wasn't hallucinating. She'd only dreamed of owning something from this store, but with the key rings starting at one-hundred dollars, she figured she'd never be so frivolous or fortunate.
"Are you cold?" John asked, covering her shaky hands. "I tried to make it as warm as possible up here."
"No, I'm fine. It's just… John, the box under this paper is Tiffany blue. As in Tiffany and Company."
John's eyes widened in obvious feigned shock. "It is?" Joss shook her head as he laughed, totally not amused. "Open your present, Joss."
Because she was so anxious to see the gift, she followed his instruction, pulled off the wrap and lifted the lid of the small box. A pair of heart-shaped diamond and platinum earrings stared back at her. "Oh, my… These are beautiful."
"They pale in comparison to you."
"I know these are expensive." She held the box out to him. "John, this is too much. I can't accept them."
John shook his head. "Hey." He lifted her chin, his light eyes bore into hers, holding her transfixed. "When it comes to you, there is no such thing as too much. Okay? Okay, Joss?"
"Okay."
"Promise you'll accept whatever these gifts might be."
"What?"
"Yes, promise. These are Christmas presents. You have to accept them."
"Fine. I - I promise," she hesitantly relented.
"Try on the earrings. I want to see how you outshine them."
"You're being a little bossy tonight," she said, removing her clip-ons, placing them in the empty box, and fastening on the pierced sparklers. "What do you think?" She turned her head left to right.
"Stunning. And the earrings look good, too," he said, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly. Joss's heart fluttered and expanded all at once. The love she felt for John was so all-consuming, and yet with every minute she spent with him she loved him more and more, and she didn't think that possible. He ended the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. "Come on, you have more presents."
As with the first present, Joss stopped tearing at the wrapping paper when the blue Tiffany box appeared. "John, not again," she said, her voice strained, a bit shaky.
"Didn't we have this conversation already? Open the box," he directed, motioning his hand at her. He thought women raced through opening present, but his detective would inspect everything.
"The earrings cost more than I spent on all the presents I purchased this Christmas, and that includes shipping for every one of those gifts, and now you're giving me more? I can't –" her voice wavered.
"Jocelyn Carter, don't you dare cry on me." She sniffled softly and pressed her hands to her eyes. "You said you would accept your presents. I know these are probably happy tears, but…" John sighed. How could he expect her not to cry? She was a tough as nails cop, but she was also a lady who reacted to certain things like women did. He'd just started with his gifts and she was getting weepy now. What would happen when she continued? "Look, if you want, you can save all your tears for later, okay?"
Joss dropped her hands from her face. "I can?" she asked, sniffling softly.
"Yes. Hell, later on, you can do whatever your heart desires," he said with a wink.
Her face brightened like sunshine when she displayed her beautiful smile. "I like that way that sounds."
"I knew you would." John claimed her sweet lips in a quick kiss. "Go on, open it."
"Gladly," she said, stripping off the rest of the paper and popping off the top of the rectangular box. "I want to get through these gifts and get to late – later." John smiled as her words faltered when she looked down at the gift. He intentionally had the sales clerk forgo using a velvet box inside most of the Tiffany boxes as he wanted to see Joss's reaction to what was directly inside the famous blue box. That and he figured she'd be hesitant to open a velvet box once she knew the gift came from Tiffany's. She could be extremely practical at times.
"Do you like it?"
"I love it," she said, dragging her finger against the open heart diamond and platinum pendant. "I can't believe it."
"Believe it," he said, taking the pendant and clasping it around her neck. "A beautiful necklace for a beautiful woman." He kissed her neck and dragged his hands up and down her red-sheathed arms.
"John, what are you doing?" she asked, clasping the shimmering diamond heart.
"I told you. I'm giving you some presents."
"These presents are taking my breath away."
"Try to hold on to some of those breaths, because you have more gifts coming," John said, taking her hand and settling her in the chair by the next tree. "Gift three." He retrieved the present and sat beside her. "Here you go," he said, extending her a five inch square box.
Joss tore at the wrap and didn't flinch when she saw the blue box. John was impressed. He'd expected another fit of emotions. She opened the box, looked inside, returned the lid to the box, and then dropped the box on his lap. "Uh-uh. No," she said, shaking her head.
Damn, he got impressed too soon. "What?" John returned the box to her lap, taking a moment to enjoy the view of her luscious legs exposed by the gorgeous little red dress. "This is your present. Did you even look at it?"
"You saw me look at it," she replied, her tone a bit testy.
"No, I saw you glimpse at it."
"Are you trying to dump me?"
John did a double take, feeling as if he was doused by a bucket of the slushy snow falling around them. "Am I what?"
"You heard me. Those earrings were bad enough, but I humbly accepted them."
"Bad enough?" He dragged his hands through his hair, groaning. "I don't understand."
"Neither do I." Joss sat ramrod straight in her chair and crossed her arms. A single tear slid down her cheek. "I thought you loved me."
"I do love you, Joss." John unfolded her arms and held fast to her hands. "How does buying you presents equate to me not loving you?" he asked, wondering how it was they got transported to the Twilight Zone so fast.
She swiped the tear from her cheek. "Buying me presents?" she repeated, the word 'presents' dripping with disdain. "Presents are sweaters and jeans, T-shirts and socks. A tablet or coffee maker. Not box after box of diamonds. Those earrings cost what? Five thousand dollars?" She snatched the top off the gift on her lap and plucked out the circle of diamond-encrusted platinum hearts. "And this. This, it seems wrong to call it a bracelet. How much did you pay for this? Twenty thousand?" She slammed the bracelet back in the box and dropped it on his lap. "I'm assuming the cost of this blinding necklace you gave me sits somewhere between five and twenty thousand dollars. Am I right?"
No, she wasn't right, but he wasn't about to tell her that. It would only make matters worse. "I'm not going to tell you how much I paid for your Christmas presents. Joss, they are gifts." John's face grew hot. He couldn't believe how angry she was making him or how angry she was. Her reaction didn't make any sense at all. "Gifts, Joss. Items I saw in a store that I thought you would like. What the hell was I thinking?"
"I don't know what you were thinking," she said, hopping off her chair like it was a bed of nails and pacing the perimeter of their chairs. "And items in a store? Tiffany and Company is not a store, that's a place old money goes to die. And that's beside the point." She came to a stop in front of him. "I don't want things from you as some sort of remembrance of what was or could've been. John, I just want you."
"I just want you, too!" he said, shooting off his chair, knocking the bracelet box to the tiled floor, and taking hold of her upper arms, getting her attention but not hurting her. "What? Did you think all this," he scanned the rooftop deck, "was about dumping you? Damn it, Joss, I don't want to ditch you, I want to marr –" John released her arms and returned to his chair, shaking his head. He couldn't believe he just blurted that out. And worse, this would be the moment the instrumental Christmas songs ended and the song he wanted to propose to her with 'Spend my Life with You' would start playing. His plans were completely shot to hell. "Damn." He buried his face in his hands.
The click clack of Joss's heels drew closer and a moment later he felt her hands on his thigh and an awakening in his groin. He was such a man. Totally disappointed in how the evening had changed, but a simple touch from her still got him going. She pulled his hands from his face. "Uh, wh – what were you saying before you stormed off?" she asked, her voice low, a little uneven.
"You hear that song?"
"Yes, Eric Benet and Tamia. It's an older song, but it's beautiful."
"When I first heard it, it got stuck in my head. I didn't apply to me at all, I wasn't involved with anyone, but I wanted that, somebody to spend my life with. Someone I'd see first thing in the morning. That special person who'd know I'm hers and she's mine." John sighed wistfully as images of Joss and him living those lyrics played in his head. "When I met you, Joss, you scared me. I had done so many things, terrible things, and I'd been through so much. My head was filled with memories of the hurt and pain I've caused and received, so much bad that the little song got drowned out. Then, you walked into that holding room and I got a hint of the melody I hadn't heard in over a decade. You made me remember what I wanted and knew in my heart I didn't have the right to think about much less desire. Even still, the melody grew stronger. And before I knew it, that song was playing in my head day and night, all the time. Never did that tune play louder than when I was with you."
"Like I said, it's a great song, John. I can't explain my reaction to your presents. I know you love me." Joss paused for a moment and expelled a long breath. John watched for a sign of discomfort from her, but found nothing. She kept insisting she was feeling better, perhaps now he could truly believe that. "What were you saying before? I have suspicions without having to use my detective skills, but I'd like for you to," she clicked her tongue, "get to the point."
John chuckled, now she gets anxious. "First you have to wear the bracelet," he said, reaching down for the box and extending the bracelet to Joss. "It was you who promised to accept every gift I gave you."
"It's a beautiful bracelet, John, and I loved it the minute I saw it," she said, sliding the bracelet to her wrist. "But I just…I'm not used to this. It's strange to be given such expensive gifts for Christmas. It made me think the absolute worse."
"Yes, your thoughts were way off base." He kissed her nose. "This is a special night and I wanted to give you special things. Who knows, maybe you'll get used to it."
"I guess we'll see about that." Joss displayed the bracelet on her right wrist. "Notice, I'm wearing the bracelet now," she said, nudging in the direction of the last tree.
John shook his head. She was so not subtle. He walked over to the fourth and final tree and returned with a huge beautifully wrapped blanket box that he dropped at Joss's feet. The size of the box was to throw her off a bit, but that wouldn't be the case now. "This isn't going at all like I planned, but I'm going wing it." He tore off the wrapping paper, opened the box, and retrieved the smaller box inside. When the song concluded and quiet enveloped them, he slid the larger box to the side, and positioned himself before Joss on bended knee. Hearing her soft gasp, he held out his open right palm that held the latest Tiffany box. "If you don't mind, I'm going to open the box this time."
With her hands covering her mouth, she nodded.
Lifting the sky blue lid, John removed the black velvet box inside and clasped it in his hand. "I had a theme in mind when I had this setting brought together, with all your previous Christmas gifts building up to this final one, but it didn't quite work out. When you were 'thanking me' for the presents, I'd hoped perhaps you'd get the symbolism. Diamonds and hearts. You know, diamonds are precious and hard, and you stole my heart. Precious you, hard and stubborn me. I guess all that got skewed by the dollar signs temporarily blinding your vision."
"I'm sorry, John. I had a hard time accepting these extravagant gifts from you, especially with what I was thinking they meant. Now, knowing you only wanted to give me special things, it's still hard accepting such luxuries."
John trained his gaze to the box in his hand. "Oh, boy. Maybe I should just toss this over the edge right now then," he said, a smile tugging at his lips.
"I tell you what, if it's too much, I'll toss it for you," Joss said with a wink.
A laugh rumbled in his throat. "Deal." John drew a deep breath, suddenly feeling very nervous. It got very hard to look at Joss. She was so beautiful, a homicide detective who had decided she would be returning to work in February, and he was a killer. How could he think… But she knew what he was about to do, and she wanted him to do it. And she knew what he'd done and she still loved him. She wouldn't say 'no,' would she? John's mouth went dry. Maybe this was too soon. She'd only come out of a coma a little more than two weeks ago. Technically, tonight was their first date. What the hell was he thinking?
Her soft, warm had touched his cheek, and all his doubts flew away. Just like the song said, he could feel her love for him with the touch of her hand. "You got so quiet, are you okay?"
John's eyes met hers. "Better than okay," he said, his voice strong, calm. He could do this. He would have his lady forever. "Joss, I never thought I could feel for someone the way I feel for you. I had been in love once before, but it wasn't like this. You're more than the woman I love; you're the dearest friend I've ever had. You've never judged me, even when you learned about my past and I got on your nerves."
"You are too hard on yourself. The things you did were out of duty for country. The CIA was wrong, but you're more than just that person."
"I killed Peter Arndt."
"You had just severed ties with the CIA and you learned someone you cared about was dead. To discover it was at her husband's hands… It's understandable, your reaction, but I know you have your regrets. Taking ***Marshal Jennings to the prison in Mexico said as much. And you didn't kill Simmons."
"But I wanted to. Knowing who am, what I am, what I've done, how can you still love me?"
"How?" Joss leaned down and kissed him softly, tenderly, and completely. Her perfect lips caring and loving. "Because you're you. You're John Reese, the man who saved my life and my son's life, and not just because you came to our rescue, but because you came into our lives. We love you for who you are, and we always will."
That was his cue. John flipped opened the velvet box and turned it toward her. Joss sniffled softy as tears filled her eyes. It seemed she wouldn't be tossing the three stone, four and a half carat heart-shaped diamond ring off the roof. "Joss, I love you with all my heart, and I want nothing more in this world than to share my life with you. Maybe this is too soon, but living almost a month thinking you were gone from me forever, it taught me time is too precious. That every moment I spent being afraid of telling you how much you meant to me was a moment wasted, and I don't want to waste anymore time. I want to spend every day and every night with you. I want to grow old and completely gray with you," he said, combing his fingers through his salt and pepper hair. "I want to share forever with you. Jocelyn Carter, will you marry me?"
Sniffling, Joss nodded vigorously. "Yes, absolutely, I will marry you."
John heard the words, but thought maybe he was dreaming, she answered so fast. "Really, Joss, you'll marry me? You'll be my wife?" he questioned, desperate for verification.
"Yes, I will. Now put that gorgeous ring on my finger and kiss me," she directed, extending her shaky left hand.
Readily following her instruction, John slipped the ring on her finger, kissed her adorned hand, and rose to his feet, bringing her along with him. "I love you so much," he said, closing her arms around her waist and bringing her close, feeling the warmth of her breath against his lips, aching to drink of her sweetness. To lose himself in the jasmine scent of Joss.
"I love you even more," she whispered, moaning into his mouth as he claimed her lips.
Blood rushed southward as Joss's hips swayed against him. John moaned deeply. Joss's hot body felt so good against his, and he could tell from her movements she was feeling so much better. And that fact made him as happy as her consent to marry him.
Joss broke the kiss and stared hungrily into his eyes. "Didn't you say something about doing whatever my heart desired later?" she asked, loosening his red tie.
Breathing heavily, John nodded. "Yeah, I remember something about that."
"Now is later," she said, capturing his lips in an inflamed kiss, her tongue quickly finding his and giving it a sensual caress. "Let's go to your place."
"Yes," he said nodding. "Let's."
A/N: I hope Joss's little fit of pique didn't take too many aback . It took me aback and I wrote it. For some reason, Joss just felt like being upset.
*Daniel, the restaurant owned by Daniel Boulud is a very high end restaurant in NYC. I've never been there, but it got my attention while doing research for this story. It's not open on Christmas Eve, but for the sake of the story, it was this time.
** Ian Murphy, Season 3-Episode 3, Lady Killer
*** Marshal Brad Jennings, Season 1 - Episode 21, Many Happy Returns