Trevelyan and I had made our feelings for the other perfectly clear. Although we shared no Force bond, we knew what the other desired following that so-called 'perfect' moment. Neither one of us seemed to hold back or consider the consequences... we just yielded to our animal instincts.

It was surprising just how many ways various species became intimate, but it was mostly the same for twi'leks and humans. What I found most interesting were the little additions that went along with the act itself. It's not like I studied them or anything, but I've encountered many ways to enhance the experience and and pulled the blanket off to show him everything... I had little in the way of modesty. Omeesh frequently left his slaves out for display... often allowing his servants and guards to do with them as they pleased. Gamorians were the worst, but they at least rarely took to other species.

Trevelyan was covered from the waist down and was a bit hesitant to watch me spread myself across the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I thought you might just like to leave little to the imagination. I'm sure you've wondered how far down these tattoos go."

After a brief moment, his eyes went from my breasts solely to my face. "You don't have to... display yourself if you don't want to."

I smiled at the consideration. "It's alright. I'm used to it. I would do it for one who mattered for a change."

He sat up and hovered over me. He placed his hands over the tattoos around my ankles and followed the interweaving to my shins... across my thighs... over my hip... around my breasts. His gentle touch across my body was a wonderful feeling that I've not had before. When he reached my neck, he stopped at the necklace I wore.

"Master Alfred gave it to me shortly after I was accepted by the Jedi. It was more than a slave could ever have and it was enough for me."

"I'm glad that you two are together again."

"I wonder why he never approached me. I've been here for months and he seemed to genuinely miss me."

He gave me a serious look. "I asked it of him. When you returned, I thought it would be best that you be allowed to choose when and how you deal with your past. He and I both agreed it was best to let you make the first move."

I shrugged my shoulders. "That must have been difficult. I shouldn't have avoided him for so long."

When he brought his head over mine, he said in a flattering tone, "You are wicked."

"I know. This was most unwise, but I appreciate that you did it."

He looked at me as if insulted. "The way I recall it, you were the one throwing herself at me."

I grabbed the back of his head and forced another kiss upon him. When I let go, I started babbling like a fool. "You were like everything I always wanted to be. A strong, selfless hero of justice. When I tried to use you against Uthar, I found that you were too great to be controlled. I didn't want to ruin that man; I didn't want him to become like me." He rolled alongside and I sat up. "When I challenged you, I expected to die by your hand. I knew you wouldn't have savored my death like Omeesh or Uthar. When you spared me... you were the first person in a long time who made me feel like my life was worth something... that I wasn't just nothing." I paused for the briefest of moments. "I wanted to live by your example... you had become more important to me than my own life."

After a moment of staring at my breasts, he brought his eyes back to mine. "You may not realize it, but your memories from the Sith and Sleheyron have made you a better Jedi than I. I used to think that my feelings for you were just respect, but I've come to see that they were something more." He sighed and looked away. "I shouldn't have told you. We're supposed to be Jedi. Even you said that love should be avoided, but... I should have just kept silent."

I smiled and shook my head. "No, I'm glad you did. I guess I was afraid to admit it, myself, but I thought that you only considered me a friend and nothing more. I thought that it was wrong for me to do so."

"Well the majority of the others would condemn such actions. I wouldn't proclaim to know better than the other Jedi, but I do know that we have emotions and instincts for a reason. They are often our greatest enemies, but sometimes are all we have to go on. Master Bindo said that most Jedi were forced into ignoring their instincts at the risk of defying the Council. Still, it's hard to argue against thousands of years of Jedi traditions. I'm glad that you're alright with this, but... You do realize that it will likely mean some intense emotional hardships? I don't have the experience of most Jedi... I'm just gifted with great power. I don't want to risk pulling you off the path of the Jedi... I just don't think it's wrong to value another..."

I covered his mouth with my finger. "Trevelyan... do you really want to keep talking?"

He gently pulled my hand away. "This is a significant issue that we have to deal with. It's likely that the Council will learn about this one way or another."

I nodded and laid on my side. "Well I don't want to hide in your shadow forever, but they may have to accept this."

"I'd prefer that we didn't have to hide anything."

I scoffed "Well it's not my fault that you fell in love with a Sith. I at least had an excuse." We both chuckled at the irony of the situation.

"Hey... even you said that the Sith prohibit..." Trevelyan was interrupted by the door chime.

This was the worst time for a guest, but I had to answer the door. "Give me a minute!" Trevelyan and I jumped to our feet and rushed to get our cloths back on. I couldn't believe it! Of all the times to have a visitor! As we rushed to get our cloths back on, the doorbell kept chiming, irritating because they knew someone was there, but it continued ringing. "I'll be right there!" I shouted.

Trevelyan had gotten his robe on much faster than I could get my cloths on, so he had been fully dressed while I still had to get my blouse on. He made a quiet comment that I should have kept the robe he gave me. I looked at him as if to say 'shut up.' When I was finally covered, I ran to unlock the door.

"What you hell is wrong with you! Both of you!" Bastila shouted before the door was even fully open.

"Bastila?! What are you...?" I said in fright.

"Revan! You stupid fool! Did you think I wouldn't know about this? Of all places... why here?"

Trevelyan got between me and her. "You already know the answer. Why ask the question?"

She wasn't amused. "I told you that she is dangerous. You deliberately went against reason and emotionally entangled yourself with one as unstable as her. There is more at stake than the feelings of one fallen sith."

"You don't have the right to speak of her like that! Don't..."

"I'm not speaking of her; I'm speaking of you! Do you think you know better than the Jedi? I warned you about bonding with her. It strengthens her, but it weakens you... you are far more important to the galaxy." She yelled.

Trevelyan crossed his arms. "No... this is about us. You and I both agreed that it was best to separate ourselves and weaken the bond we share. This has nothing to do with Yuthura."

"You flatter yourself! You think that you know what's best for the Order. Your arrogance makes you dangerous because you reflects upon her and all who follow you. If you act, others will follow... you can't allow this one Sith to ruin you."

I was about to protest, but Trevelyan defended me at every turn. "She is a Jedi. You will address her as such!"

Bastila looked around Trevelyan to face me. "I suppose under the tattoos and uncontrollable rage, then yes; she is a model Jedi for everyone to follow." She said sarcastically.

I pulled him around to face me. "Trevelyan... would you please tell me what's going on."

"Bastila had been turned to the Sith shortly before the end of the civil war. She's been having trouble with the darkside ever since."

Bastila looked at me. "Do you know that when he was trying to turn me back to the Jedi, he said he loved me?" She sighed in great disgust. "Through our bond, I knew that you secretly despised me. I followed you anyway because I had the strength to see beyond my personal feelings and know what was right." She gave a pained chuckle. "The Council believed that I was weak to turn to the Sith... after being subjected to the most Godforsaken torture Malak could muster. They think that our bond made it easy for me to turn back to the light..." She got in Trevelyan's face. "I had to fight Revan's contempt as well."

Then she tried to stare me down. "Now, the Council has its eyes fixed on you and show me contempt because of how easily you reverted back to the lightside. They seem to have forgotten that my battle meditation saved the war. Now the their center of attention is focused on you."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Me?"

She gave me a false smile. "It defies reason, I know, but the Council has taken an interest in making you into a Jedi. They may even regard you just as significant to the survival of the Order as Revan."

"What?! You have a very sick kind of humor!"

Trevelyan got between us. "Hold on... how did you come to all this? What's going on?"

She looked at Revan with great contempt, but the anger within her turned to calm. "Something significant is happening among the Council in regards to her. I don't know what, but it could erupt into something worse than the Sith. All I know is that it involves both of you." She stared directly into Trevelyan's eyes. "Revan, for the sake of the Order, you must sever your emotional ties to her. You cannot afford to weaken yourself in such a way by bonding with Ban." She faced me. "If you love him, then I hope that you can see reason in staying away from him. There is too much at stake if you both are emotionally attached to one another."

I got in front of Trevelyan. "Are we supposed to just believe her? All she's given is a vague description of a bunch of superstitions."

He shook his head. "I believe her... at least she is convinced of what she says." He looked to Bastila. "Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"I've overheard conversations by Council members and I'm convinced that they are very interested in the manner in which she develops her Force abilities. I only have speculation, but no real proof. When I spoke about Ban to the Council, they were very careful about what they said to me."

Trevelyan looked back to me. "Do you know anything about this; anything that might explain what's going on?"

I shook my head. "I wasn't aware there was anything wrong until she showed up. How could I possibly be considered as significant as you?"

"Is there anything you can think of that is out of place or potentially... wait... maybe they were planning to do something else for that mind wipe." He inquired.

I nodded. "That might be it. I'm the only one who volunteered for it in years, but what could they possibly do with me?"

Bastila faced me. "You're having a mind wipe? When did this happen?"

"I went before the Council a few days ago and requested they wipe some of my earliest memories. They were doing it in five days, but I've decided not to undergo it."

Bastila shook her head in disagreement. "That can't be it. This issue has been debated even before you were accepted back into the Order."

Trevelyan went up to her. "Thank-you for telling me this. I know it must not have been what..."

"I'm not doing this for you... we're past that. I hope that this matter will make you see reason and forget about her." She turned to leave. "One other thing... if you MUST surrender to your animal urges... please do it where I don't have to be a part of it. Just the thought makes me shudder."

She directed that last comment at me. She surly would find it repugnant to feel my presence through Trevelyan. I've never formed a Force bond with another, so I didn't know what it was like to feel another without knowing the cause.

When Bastila departed, Trevelyan went into the hall with her and told me to stay behind. I had been embarrassed at the whole situation, but I was very angry that we were caught. I knew that what we did was wrong and had its risks, but I was angry that she had to be the first to know. Now she had an edge over us... I didn't want a thorn in my side such as her.

After a few minutes, Trevelyan returned and I could see he was humiliated. "Bastila said she won't lie, but wouldn't volunteer anything about... us."

"It was a mistake."

"Yeah."

For a moment, we stared at each other with great uncertainty. I asked the most logical question: "Now what?"

"I think it would be in our best interest to find out what the Council knows. We should discover why they would be interested in your abilities. They likely won't answer anything directly, but we should try to get them to talk."

"Like what? 'I resign from the order?' See where that goes?" I said jokingly.

"Something along those lines."

I stared at him for several more seconds as I didn't know if I wanted to ask the question. "What do you think about what Bastila said? Should we try and act like none of this happened and stay away from each other?"

He wrapped his arms across his shoulders and paced around for a brief moment before leaning his head back to sigh. "What's been done is done. I suppose that it might have been better if Bastila had told you what she knew before I gave everything away."

"And miss all the fun?" I laughed, but he didn't accompany me. "You have a way with words... I was looking forward to forgetting those early years, but now that I see how much they mean to you... and Alfred... I won't give up on either of you."

He struggled to ask, "Are you sure this is what you wish to do? You will keep all your memories?"

"You were begging me to change my mind. Now that I have, you're still not satisfied?"

"I just want to be sure you're doing it for yourself... not me."

I sighed and shook my head. "I AM doing it for you, but that is what I want. You and Alfred have invested so much of yourselves for me. I wouldn't want to taint all that you both have done with something like that." I made a confused gesture. "And I suppose I would be afraid of what I would lose if I forgot Sleheyron. If worse comes to worse, I can always have it done later... it can't be reversed."

He smiled to hear me say that I wouldn't give up.

I held him from behind, around his neck. "What you said really mattered to me and I'm glad you did. I really never used to think that those memories from Sleheyron were worth anything. I would always put them aside, thinking they were just... a rotten piece of spoiled fruit. I'm not as bothered by what I did on Korriban; I can live with the guilt. My anger at the indignities that Omeesh forced upon me... that's not so easy."

He thought for a long moment. "It's a part of who you are. I don't really know how you feel about yourself, but I'm glad you're not erasing an important part of your past."

"Well I guess I'm wondering how the Council took it. The way Bastila describes it... I can't imagine that I'd be a subject for debate. What could they possibly have of interest in a former Sith?"

He turned around. "Do you think Alfred would know anything about this?"

"He would be a good place to start."

He looked at the clock. "I have a meeting with the Council within the hour. I'll see if there is anything I get from them."

"One other thing: if Bastila means what she says, maybe it would be best if we communicated through a comlink."

He smiled at how foolish my suggestion was. "Given what we just did, I don't think we need to worry about that. We can speak normally and it won't make much difference to me."

"Very well. Let's find out what we can and return here at... 16:00 hours. Is that alright?"

"I... had intended to throw together a surprise celebration for you, Juhani, and... who was the other one?"

"Nevski."

"Nevski, right. However given that it's almost been a week, with Juhani away on an assignment, and this..."

"I understand. Celebrations are not the kind of thing I'd expect from Jedi."

"Well I've not always been a Jedi. When it's time to be serious, there's nothing wrong with throwing a party to commemorate a special event. At least that's how the Republic military did it."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked out the window to observe the activity from below. "Well as you said, it's time to be serious."

He noticed how nervous I was and gently held me in his arms, just enough for me to feel the gesture. I would have appreciated a tighter embrace, but I appreciated that he did it in any event. I still hadn't gotten used to contact comfort, but I did like being able to be held without expecting more to come after it. I suppose that was just something Omeesh forced upon me, but Trevelyan's touch was much more meaningful. To be touched without a fear of rape following was very pleasant, but I couldn't help wondering if it were really just the contrast between utter humiliation and nothing. It just didn't seem right to think that there could be any meaning to an absence of something.

I could believe a victim would be glad to be away from her captor, but how could she possibly be happy after that just to escape? I know I've escaped Omeesh over a decade ago, but he left a part of himself in my soul that would last forever. I wanted to kill that part of himself from me, but there just had been so much of myself that would have died as well. He had taken so much from me as a little girl, but I would not let him take any more.