"Trust starts with truth and ends with truth."
Santosh Kalwar
Crossing the Line
Chapter Twenty-One
Girlycard and Walter's disappeared at irregular times. She admitted to Pip her concern. He scoffed and promised, "Zer is nozing to worry about. I razer zey stayed away!"
The logical side of her brain argued these boys who couldn't be over fourteen should never go about these woods in such an overconfident way. The illogical, innate part of her, the part years of boarding school and strict mistress tried to suppress, shivers whenever they sit near. That part of her loathes these strange boy-soldiers. They are too sweet to her. She thinks it's because they are also wondering if she tastes good.
Seras's training demands she remains polite. In effort to do such a thing, she tries to understand how London is fairing. Walter explained the bombings, smiling. "Blitzkrieg. That is what is it called, isn't it, Fritz?" he said. Hans ignored him. Not every time, though. He grounds out a few of his own. Pip and him have fought a few times. The boys he never touches, but she doesn't think that has to do with the fact they are only boys.
Once she exhausted the subject, she found barriers to most every other subject except for the most mundane. Pip, Walter, and Girlycard always had something to say. She didn't understand a lick of it. They left large gaps. They didn't try to hide it. Girlycard would smile at her when he caught her staring, wanting to piece together their disjointed plans. That smile. She found herself hating it.
Though, she continued to ache for conversation. Anything. Some type of reassurance she wasn't the only human here. Wasn't the only one terrified to fall asleep because she might not wake up, or worse yet, she would, but a moment too late before General Pig captured her. Hans stopped talking with the appearance of Hellsing. A grunt, a nod, and maybe a Nein or Ja. It is nostalgic in a way for they seem to have reverted back to those awkward moments when she lived in her flat. Or perhaps it is full circle?
Two days ago they came across a mass grave. Bodies dumped into pits. Is it worthy of the title "grave?" She turned away to gag. Pip couldn't stand there. He trudged off swearing and smoking and—she was sure of it—crying.
Walter said, "How distasteful."
Distasteful? She wanted to shake the boy-man and tell him distasteful is the word you use when you didn't like someone's company at a dinner party. Distasteful is the word you use with someone of few manners. Distasteful is the word she would use for him. Distasteful is not a word you use for a pile of murdered people whose bodies weren't even kept in one piece. Distasteful is not a word you used for those who died because General Pig didn't think they were pure. The irony! She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry.
She hated this boy. She wanted to hit him and make him cry. Make him feel something, anything because she started to doubt he was human.
Girlycard fired his gun. A single shot pierced corpse's head. Brain matter exploded. His excuse was, "They don't deserve to suffer, now do they?" She knew he wasn't human, not really. He couldn't be. She decided this long ago.
Girlycard disappeared after that. When he returned, his humor was harsh and cruel. His attacks were few, though. He was preoccupied. Hans never lashed back, either. He was preoccupied, too.
They both thought about things beyond their current predicament. Seras didn't understand how they were not consumed with fear of how every time they ate something it meant there was less food to eat later or how their ammunition dwindled or how the moisture seemed to make them weaker than the dry cold air did. In fact, they were immune to everything.
She wanted to think about things greater than herself, that is why she began helping people escape the ghettos. But right now, she couldn't think about anything else other than making sure she woke up the next day with mud surrounding her and these comrades who she wasn't sure she should trust anymore because it was better than any alternative.
Author: Enjoy! Please, review. I like hearing your comments. This is a builder (not to be mistaken with a filler) for the next few chapters. I hope your holidays were all enjoyable! Now, back to the real world.