This chapter is a gift for me. Is it close to canon? No. It is just a game show. I love me some game shows.
Why did the last few chapters of this Au focus on a game show? Because...I got no reason.
Saburo didn't care about the sword party, the shield party or traveling the universe.
What he did care about was winning, being an entertainer. And his show 'Love-Love-Reward' made that a reality. The higher the ratings the more he got paid as his mysteriously cool alter ego, Mutsumi.
However some people had become bored by how his show didn't have anything to do with politics and the latest issues. So since keronians were now all the rage thanks to Kululu's attack on a school, Saburo had divides to capture some.
First had been Pururu. He labeled her the cute and loving type. She looks like the homely type. Sure to get big ratings.
Second had been Giroro and Garuru that he had purchased over the net. A pair of brothers were sure to get some attention.
And last but not least was a pair of murderous lovers that Saburo didn't actually have permission to capture but would do so anyway. This was his last hope to get higher ratings.
Kululu everybody hated anyway and Angol Mois, well everybody knew her name. And they would be more than happy to see her get what they thought she deserved.
There were other aliens he had in cages, Vipers and stuff as he put on his mask that he used for his game show – A big mask with an 'N' on it. People tried to point out that he should probably have an 'M' instead for Mutsumi but he preferred to show himself as a narrator of the character's lives and romantic endeavors.
Giroro came to in his cage. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Kululu? What are you doing here? And with the angol?"
"I believe we got captured..." Kululu was leaning against his cage cradling his side. The hole in it wasn't healing up that well and he still wasn't sure if Mois would wake up and he had done the surgery properly.
The lights turned on and the cages shoved all the aliens out.
"Hello! I am Mutsumi your game show host!" Saburo yelled. They all noticed they had collars on to imprison them there. "I wanted to explain a bit of what you will do here."
Garuru tapped on Giroro's shoulder and pointed to several obstacle courses with flames and other things. Axes coming from the sky.
"Each show one couple will be eliminated. A partner team. They will then spin the wheel of execution to decide how they die and what bloody torture will be used!" Mutsumi laughed. "The loser couple will be decided by votes by the audience. The audience usually chooses the best or most loving that they want to see survive. By the end of the season only one couple lives and will be forced to breed so that their child, sometimes a cross-breed will be raised in slavery."
Giroro grimaced. "Breed on television?"
"No. This isn't a porno." Mutsumi hissed, "Nobody wants to see that here. Although...I do sell those videos for an extra price."
All the aliens looked nervous. So they'd have to compete in challenges and fake love with their supposed partner if they wanted to survive to the end, or live.
"We'll escape." Garuru whispered to his brother, "Just try to buy time till then."
Giroro nodded.
"What did you mean about partners?" Pururu asked. Garuru finally noticed her and looked frightened that she had been captured too.
"I will assign you each into couples and explain a bit of your qualities to the audience." Saburo told them, "First up is you little keronian. This keronian's name is Pururu! She's...I don't know what her personality is. She's a girl Her partner and match will be Garuru."
Pururu blushed despite the circumstances.
"Good. This benefits us both the most." Garuru nodded, taking Pururu's hand. The audience ooweed as if they didn't realize the danger this show posed and how serious the circumstances were that everybody was in.
Pururu nodded.
"Garuru is a keronian who came to the planet to rescue his younger brother Giroro of the Keroro Platoon." Saburo explained, "He seems to be the cold and cool type."
The light shined on Giroro next. "His younger brother isn't nearly as cold and calm. Seems a bit angry actually. Probably an underdog. Will he ever beat his brother?"
"Hey! Shut up! All I want to beat is you!" Giroro shouted, already getting riled up.
Saburo snickered a bit and the light shined on an axolitian. "His partner is an axolitian named Sumomo. I believe she was a pop idol so the cameras might love her."
He continued going through names and making up stories for each of them that didn't seem very true. All the aliens were nervous but tried to play it safe for the cameras, under Garuru's requests.
"And finally we have sergeant Major Kululu, the dangerous keronian who killed at least 100 humans. A super genius, his partner will be the dangerous Angol Mois. An angolian who was sent to destroy our planet but we taught her a lesson. They're already lovers so they stand a better chance against the rest, but will the obstacles make their love burn brighter or break them up?"
Kululu tried to prop Angol Mois up. She was still asleep. Why the heck did I ever compliment this show? What was I trying to do, impressing him? He regretted so much.
Angol Mois's eyes fluttered open. "K-kululu? Are...Are you dead?"
"Not yet." Kululu told her, "How are you feeling?"
"Weak...Very weak." Mois admitted. She was tired. She had been through a lot and her chest was in pain from the surgery. Kululu didn't know how to replenish the energy of an angol. Was he supposed to put her phone in a charger or something?
Kululu nodded. "Just sleep then, but don't crush me."
Angol Mois nodded and fell asleep.
"The first challenge will be to complete this obstacle course! Then the voters will tally things up!" Saburo pulled down a curtain and a terrible obstacle course was in front of all the contestants complete with crocodiles and an electric tank to swim through, a ring of fire and axes and hammers and spikes to dodge past.
"Go!" Saburo yelled.
Garuru and Giroro jumped into the Frey immediately, ready to complete the obstacle course.
"It looks violent." Garuru hissed.
"Not worse than the keron army." Giroro smiled.
"But I think the obstacle course would only be one part of the challenge. We could both complete it in minutes. However I assume we need to have our partner with us." Garuru nodded.
Giroro glanced at Sumomo with intense dislike and grumbled.
"Pururu. Get into my arms. I don't want to risk you getting hurt." Garuru told her. Pururu jumped into Garuru's arms so she could be carried. After a second of her getting comfortable, Garuru glanced at the cameras. "...More."
Pururu looked surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Wrap your arms around me and look more romantic. That's how to survive for one more day after all. We're supposed to look like a couple. And I try to do everything perfectly."
Pururu wished she could enjoy this, but they were fighting for their lives. Still she wrapped her arms around his back and held on tighter. It didn't effect Garuru at all. He was used to carrying his teammates. He did most of the work.
"Come on. And tell me if you sense danger." Garuru told her.
"O-okay." Pururu agreed.
The two of them set off, but Giroro could not get Sumomo to agree to move.
"I need to fix my make up! Cameras are around!" Sumomo told him.
"We're on a reality tv show that kills people for not winning or being a good enough couple!" Giroro cried, stamping his foot. "Aren't you scared?"
"No?" Sumomo admitted, "I've been on these before. Heck, I've owned a few and made them. They're all mostly the same they vote for the popular characters to win." She glanced at Kululu and Angol Mois, "And I know an unpopular character when I see one."
Kululu glanced at the obstacle course. It was obviously impossible with his and Mois's injuries and he didn't actually want to do it. But he also knew it wasn't a requirement for not being voted off. Popularity was.
And he and Mois didn't have that. But he doubted Saburo could afford to kill either of them. They weren't legally his.
"You going to kill us?" Kululu asked Saburo, "Because I swear if we die on your show, my last words will be revealing your true identity." He used the last tool he had- blackmail.
Saburo seemed to look nervous for a second. He got closer to Kululu to talk to him alone so the cameras couldn't pick anything up. "I won't kill you. Don't worry." he reassured. "There's no way you'll make last place. I'll make sure of it."
Kululu glanced at Mois, "Aren't you just buying time till they arrest you? Don't they need Mois?"
Saburo sighed, "You unmelded her phone. So I need to keep her obedient and buy time until they can figure out how to remeld it. No offense to you or your love but I don't like her at all. She was trying to kill our whole planet."
"So you're working for that Haru guy." Kululu deciphered.
"He promised to make me a rock star." Saburo nodded, "But while you're here you'll get extra privileges over the rest. And you won't die. At least you get to be romantic with Mois on last time."
Kululu didn't know what Saburo was talking about, but then he remembered the love confession that Saburo had witnessed.
He didn't have any sympathy for what Saburo was doing or try to help. Instead he tried to figure out where the cameras were and how they worked and plan a way to escape.
Giroro came in second to last place. Sumomo didn't want to do the obstacle course until the last moments. He was annoyed.
"Please wait in your rooms while the votes come in." Mutsumi requested. Each couple had a room, complete with a romantic bed, some underwear, and not much else. Lots of cameras and security so that they couldn't leave.
It was a luxurious room, but it was also a prison. Kululu and Mois of course got the most luxurious of rooms.
Mois plopped herself on the bed, waking up just enough to roll onto it. "What's going on? What happened?" She liked being on a bed though.
"Hmm...Let me give you the details. We were captured by Mutsumi and now we're on a game show competing over who's the most loving couple..." Kululu explained,
"That's not too bad..." Mois had been quite a fan of romance before she was tortured on Pekopon.
"The winning couple will be forced to breed to have a child, the child will be a slave all their life and their consummation ritual will be recorded. Ku, ku, ku. Losing couples will die violently."
Mois's face paled.
"But don't think about that right now. Just sleep. You're weak, right?" Kululu knew she probably couldn't sleep after such terrible news.
She sat up. She took deep breaths, afraid of their condition but it was still much better than what had happened previously. Her chest hurt without her phone. She noticed bandages on Kululu's side. "I...I did that?"
Kululu nodded.
Mois reached over and touched him lightly. "I'm sorry. Is it going to be okay?"
"Keronians heal easily. So being run through isn't deadly." Kululu replied as Mois breathed a sigh of relief. He held her hand tightly. "It wasn't as bad as the first time. At least I knew if something happened and I died I was with someone. Not purposeless and alone."
"I would have remembered you forever if you died." Mois reassured.
Kululu smiled. He knew that. "Can I look at your chest? Nothing inappropriate." He reassured. They'd had their inappropriate moment before and he wasn't going to have another one on Pekopon. "Just to see if it's infected from the surgery."
Mois nodded. "You severed my cell phone, right?" She lay down and tugged her shirt off. It wasn't like Kululu hadn't seen her shirtless before.
He gently ran his hand over the area where her cell phone had previously been trying to make sure there were no clumps or tumor sort of things. "We good? I mean...As I guess friends? I left you to get tortured, but I also tried to save you...So does that make up for things?"
Mois smiled. "I also tried to kill you like twice. So I think we're good." She leaned up and gave him a small kiss on the nose. She hadn't forgotten what he had told her. "If...If we ever get off Pekopon, Kululu, will, will you come with me?"
He held her hand even tighter and kissed her knuckles. "Course I will. And we will get off. You'll be back to your normal natural duties as soon as possible. Ku, ku, ku."
Mois gave a small shy smile. He hadn't ever seen something like that on her like she had hobbies or passions. "I really like destroying planets, it will be fun to end another constellation."
"Ku, ku, ku. Knew I wouldn't regret falling in love with you." Kululu grinned. She was a nerd not only for small bits of technology that she was getting more used to, but planetary destruction. How cute.
Mois blushed but gave a small nod. "I..I like you too, you know."
"Good. You won't have as much of a problem being stuck with me the rest of your life then. Ku." Kululu teased. He was glad that everything was good between them. Now he had to just save their lives.
He gave her a kiss and snuggled up to her so they could get some rest.
"The results are in!" Saburo announced, "Viper girl and boy are the couple that is the most disliked they will be killed. Spin the wheel."
"N-no! I won't let you hurt us!" The Viper hissed.
So Saburo spun the wheel for him.
"Oooohhh...Too bad. Soup." He shook his head.
"Soup? That's not a death!" The viper laughed.
"You'll be turned into soup. Some people find snake soup exotic." Saburo continued.
Chefs grabbed them both and a giant pot of soup appeared. They slit their throats and started peeling the skin off to get the meat.
It was a horrible thing to witness but so many people in the audience were cheering and salivating.
"The second most unpopular couple were Giroro and Sumomo. Likely they will be voted off next unless they get their act together." Saburo warned.
Giroro looked at his brother in fear. He didn't want to be soup. Could they get out of there before the next game?
He didn't know how much longer he could last there.
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