アタシは女子校に学生じゃねってばね！ –I'm Not a Student at an All-Girls' School!–

Episode 21: Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy「イージー・ピージー・レモン・スクイージー」

"To pass the preliminary rounds," Kazumi began as she gazed upon the many blocks within the temple. "The contestants will begin by being sorted in groups of twenty fighters before engaging in a battle royal! The last two standing will qualify for tomorrows main tournament!"

Naruto hummed as he mildly listened to Kazumi's speech, not that interested in listening. Being in Block G meant that no one he knew was in the same block, meaning that he was fighting no one he knew. "Kinda sucks… though I guess that means that we can go all out tomorrow without anyone interrupting, tebayo…"

(Block D)

A pile of men began to be piling up as Kū went all out, showing no mercy to even her own club members. The crowd cheered as over 15 men were piled up over each other.

"WOW! So strong! Mahora Middle School student and Captain of the Chinese Martial Arts Research Club, Kū Fei-senshu! As expected of last year's Ultra-Mahora, she's hurling men twice her size into the air! Such gorilla strength hiding in such a little body!"

"How rude, Kazumi!" Kū pouted as Mana commented on how she could just stand still and do nothing.

(Block B)

"Uwah… just like training…!" Negi thought to himself as he nearly paled at the thought of fighting men twice… maybe thrice his size. Seeing a large hand reaching for his face, Negi immediately put his training to work.

"Hakkyokuken Hachidaishōshiki! Zetsuhō Tsutenpō!"

And in a flash, the giant man flew across the stage and out of bounds. The fighters all stared at Negi. The onlookers all stared at Negi. The fans all stared at Negi. Negi stared at his fists.

"Wha…"

"D-did the infamous child teacher just throw someone ten times his size out of bounds!? INCREDIBLE! Such power! What did he do!? What weapons did he use!? Unbelievable!"

"Hey hey hey, so the rumors of this kid being Kū Fei-taichō's pupil is true!?"

(Block E)

"UWWWAAAAAAH!" Kotarō roared, summoning 5 clones.

"Hoho, not bad, Kotarō-dono," Kaede praised, increasing her clones to twelve.

"Wha-! Sevens' my limit!"

"Hey hey, are you guys gonna fight or what!?" Kazumi yelled.

(Block C)

Asuna let out a battle cry as she kicked a fighter off the stage. Setsuna smiled as she simply knocked a fighter out.

"In Block C, we got two girls continuously fighting challengers left and right! How surprising, such an unpredictable turn of events in this tournament!"

(Block F)

Evangeline scoffed as she watched Takamichi take it easy as he punched another person off the stage. Thought, it is kind of hard to see what he did when his hands are inside his pockets.

"T-takamichi-sensei…" A random fighter let out, "J-just now, what did you…?"

"I'm sorry," The sophisticated man apologized, "You should go train some more…"

"Hah, this is easy! Keep it up, Takamichi!" Evangeline urged the man to continue beating up the contesters.

"You're a contestant too, aren't you, Eva? Try fighting, it should be easy!"

"As if, it's too tiresome. And why are you talking to me like that?" Evangeline deadpanned as Takamichi laughed, commenting on how it was old habits. The girl simply sighed as a hand touched her shoulder. "Mmh?"

"I'm sorry, ojō-chan, I'm not sure how you got lost and ended up here… but I'm going to have to send you out of the arena to win," A contestant apologized sincerely.

Evangeline scowled deeply as Takamichi took a large step back.

"Hands off, plebian."

And with a swipe, the contestant was knocked off his feet and landed face first against the ground. Evangeline grinned as she leaned forward and kneeled above his head. Pointing a finger at his back, she advised, "It's best if you don't move."

"As expected of the Dark Evangel. How sadistic…" Takamichi commented to himself as he watched the girl continue to tease the young contestant.

(Block G)

"What the heck is she doing, tebayo?" Naruto asked as he continuously punched the man he was choke holding. Watching the small blonde taking advantage of the guy was simply too cruel in Naruto's opinion. It was like hearing about Tsunade when she was younger and was a pettanko. He shivered. Stopping to find that the guy he was punching was knocked out, he chuckled sheepishly.

"Oops, my bad."

Naruto never noticed the irony between his thoughts about Evangeline and his actions against the young contestant he held.

Dropped the guy, he leaned to the side as another fighter punched nothing but air. Latching onto the offending arm, Naruto simply twirled midair and severely kicked the puncher out of the arena.

"And looking at Block G, we see another contestant who seems to be owning the block! Incredible! Who the heck is this guy!?"

"Kinda funny you don't know me when I'm in the same class as you are, tebayo…" Naruto quietly muttered to himself as he bitch-slapped another fighter. Ducking over a punch, Naruto simply did a back kick and pushed the offender off bounds.

"Then again, that was me as a girl."

Tripping another contestant, Naruto simply began to punch and kick whoever was unfortunate enough to stand in his way. While it may be biased, but perhaps he had it easier to go all out because none of his friends were here? Regardless of how strong they were – his short fight with Negi earlier that night was evident of that – Naruto was still leagues stronger. With him having Sage Mode available as well as Chakra, Naruto had to severely hold himself back in order to not hurt anyone, especially his newfound friends.

Which meant that he wasn't using Chakra to power himself (something he learned back in the old days when Sasuke was still around) nor was he using the Kawazu Kumite, something he opted to use only during emergency situation (something like Negi being stupid and letting that stupid Tree get over him).

That meant that Naruto was truly only using his instincts as well as his brawler style that Erosennin fine-tuned during their three-year training trip. Sigh, that sure was fun.

At this moment, however, seeing no one he recognized, as well as expecting everyone to take a hit, Naruto opted to use his Chakra to attack. While not enough to kill anyone, it probably will leave a few bruises for at least 2 days, or maybe 3. He would know, after all, he used this tactics against himself plenty times. Naruto, again, failed to realize that nobody had his outstanding regenerative ability, so in reality, the people who was hit by Naruto would be in pain for more than 2 weeks, a month tops. Either way, hopefully no one got broken bones.

…

Well, at least he's not using ninjutsu or senjutsu.

Cause that'll be overkill, tebayo.

After kicking the last opponent to outer space, Naruto stood back and looked at his overall performance. Sadly, no one was up to his level of expertise – after all, one doesn't train with a Sannin and come back still an amateur – though looking at his classmates, he can see some competitions. Geez, were these girls on some kind of drugs or something? He thought that the outside world wasn't all that serious like back at Godai Rekka.

Shrugging for a bit, Naruto blinked as he noticed that he completely missed another fighter. The girl simply looked at him with a slight blush, confusing the heck out of him. However, being the friendly guy he is (and as everyone back in Konoha says, "A tad bit socially awkward…"), the blonde decided to greet himself to his fellow finalist… well, semi-semi-finalist…

"Hey! Howzit goin'!? Looks like you and me are heading for the big tournament tomorrow, huh?"

The light brunette simply smiles shyly and nods, holding onto her broom.

Naruto blinked owlishly, simply staring at the girl as she began to flush at his stare. What was with shy girls always seemingly gather around him?

Oh, you dense, dense, dense Naruto…

Ninjutsu Encyclopedia:

1 - Eight Extremities Fist (八極拳): an external fighting style that emphasizes simple, direct, explosive strength at close range

2 - Eight Great Engaging Forms: Absolute Invitation Through the Heavenly Cannon (八大招式：絶招通天炮): a devastating Hakkyokuken technique which involves the user to redirect the force used against him and return it with twice the force. A powerful counterattack technique.

A/N: And that's been the Twenty-First chapter of I'm Not!!

Not much happening, just a retelling of the preliminaries. Though you can say that it is kinda necessary. I guess...?

Anyway, don't have any new news, xcept that school's started, so expect slower updates now. Hope I didn't have'ta, but oh well. What can you do?

(OMAKE… Ver. Z3RO-01... ALL SYSTEMS READY… ACTIVATING…)

Omake: Asu-Naru Magical Interview Corner!「アスナルのまじかるインタビューコーナー!」

START

Naruto scratched his head as he looked at the script that told what this segment was for. Asuna, who was sitting next to him on some weird table that held the banner for whatever this segment was for look at him with raised brows.

"Hey Whiskers…"

"Yeah?"

"Why're we here again?"

Scratching hi whisker-like birthmarks, the blonde turned to Asuna with squinted eyes and a thin line for a mouth. It really reminded the bell-wearing girl of a fox mask she saw at the Festival earlier that day.

"Well…" Naruto began as he tried to remember the reason. "Umm, if I remember correctly, the Author was getting annoyed with all the writer's block in his head… so he decided to do this in order to get rid of the boredom he had to endure the last couple days, tebayo…"

"And…?" Asuna continued off. "How does that concern us?"

"Y'know, authors aren't allowed to be in their own stories – which, by the way, is stupid in my opinion," Naruto answered as he slapped the script in his hand to give it attention. "So, using us as his representative, Author is gonna use this as a medium to give people, the Reviewers, what they want."

Asuna scrunched her face in confusion. It still confused the girl why the authors weren't allowed in their own stories (since they own it after all), but it never bothered her. Getting back on track, she said, "And what is this that they want?"

"Umm… I think it's supposed to be something about letting them ask questions and we have to answer them…?"

"Oh…"

Silence reigned for a second before Asuna gazed at Naruto.

"So what's that script for?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked a bit confused for a bit before gazing at the script in his hand. "Oh! Right!"

Turning to the camera, the blonde cleared his throat. "Hello everyone!"

"And by everyone, I think he means the Reviewers, not those idiots who just reads…" Asuna interjects.

"Happy New Year once again and welcome to-…!"

Together, the two idiots exclaimed, "Asu-Naru Magical Interview Corner (-tebayo)!"

Lowering their arms, the two sat back onto their chairs. Bringing the script up into his face, Naruto began reading, "So! This interview, as I said before, is an Omake dedicated to you guy to ask any questions you want, and we'll try our best to answer them!"

Picking up her own script, Asuna continued, "Of course, there are a few rules to follow. Umm… wow, that's a lot of rules…" Asuna trailed off as she began paling at the number of rules.

"Aww, you're just overreac- Whoa, ok that's a lot…" Naruto agreed to the twin-tailed girl.

"Umm, so… rule number one is to ask only one question per Reviewer…" Asuna began.

Naruto then picked up after the girl, "Ruler 2 is that there are no restrictions to what the questions may be, BUT! It cannot be against common morals."

"Rule 3 is that there can be no questions requesting sexual acts," Asuna twitched an eye as she red on in anger, "However, fan, service, is, allowed…"

Sweating as Naruto began the routine, he read, "The fourth rule is 'There shall not be any questions asking for spoilers' or anything regarding spoilers at all."

"Hints are allowed, however," Asuna read the fifth rule.

"Other characters will be included. HOWEVER!" Naruto yelled, "The Author is the one who decides on who will be the next Character to be interviewed, to please hold onto those questions until the Character is announced!"

The blonde stopped as he read further.

"Oh, and Characters who have no relation to this story or has only been mentioned is not allowed. Also, any Characters regarding future chapters will be forced to keep their mouths shut over anything regarding their true identity, their true purpose in the story, any spoilers, how old they are (what?), anything regarding them to make anything, no fighting, no cat fighting, no dog fighting, no making any dōjin (what's that?), no potion making, no magic making, no jutsu making (aww…), and no breaking the fourth wall…"

"…"

"I think we already broke that last rule…" Asuna deadpanned as she picked up her script.

"Oh! There's another one included in fine print, tebayo!" Naruto suddenly announced as Asuna fell on her face. How she did that while sitting down still remained a mystery to this day.

Slightly paling, Naruto read, "Questions regarding the 3 sizes, color of panties, type of boy or girl, erogenous spots, length of the meat, heavy petting, deep kissing, accidental love potions, and the real purpose for Oiroke no Jutsu is allowed…"

"WHAT!?" Asuna screamed as Naruto yelped, holding his hands in front of him.

"I-it's not my fault, tebayo! This thing is written by the Author after all!"

"Grrrrr… when I get my hands on him, he's gonna pay!"

"Ehehe…" Naruto chuckled weakly as he read the last rule, "Requesting the Characters to read certain parts of a dōjin or FanFiction is allowed as long as the Author is able to handle it. If no can, then no can, sorry tebayo…"

Finishing off with the list of rules, the blonde turned to Asuna to see her still raging off about the second-to-last rule. Clearing his throat again, he turns to the camera, "Well, this has been the first episode of the Asu-Naru Magical Interview Corner! Hope we'll get awesome reviews and questions soon! 'Till then, stay tune for the next chapter!"

"… and I'm gonan wring his neck until his head explodes! And then…!"

"Guess Asuna's still pissed off… anyway, the first Character for this segment is…" Naruto trails off as he looks on the next page of the script. Raising his eyes in surprise, he announces, "Well, guess it's gonna be the first boys. Me 'n Negi are next. So any questions you got for us, ask away! Remember the rules now! Any questions that breaks the rules are respectfully ignored and-…"

Naruto pauses when a crew member behind the camera man waves something at him. Blinking at the odd statement, he announces, "Uhh, the last rule, I guess, is that we are allowed to be asked to be cosplayed…? Weird, but ok!"

Seeing to see if there was anything else to add, only to receive a shake of a head, Naruto nodded, "And that's a wrap guys! See ya, tebayo!"