A/N: Remember to review! I came home from work and found lots of love (reviews/alerts) waiting for me. It takes me all of 45 minutes to write a chapter so if you keep showing love, I'll keep posting daily, sometimes more! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.
Chapter 21
Pacing is something that personally drives me crazy. I hate it when people do it. Today, I'm doing it and now I'm even more aggravated with myself. I can't believe I agreed to have breakfast with Peeta. Not because I don't want to see him, I can't wait to see him. It's because I don't want to be the cause of any pain or discomfort for him. I know that I didn't hijack him. The Capitol did. But it's my face that sends him into a frenzy. I know he wants to get stronger and be able to will himself out of those moments and I respect that, want that. I just don't want to cause him strife in the process.
The bitter pill about all this is that I know he's just as excited to see me too. I don't know what it is about Peeta and I. It's like we compliment each other so perfectly. Like we were absolutely made for each other. Makes me wonder how two kids from the poorest District could actually endure what we have and still be lucky. It was lucky that we even discovered each other and made a true connection amid the problems of District Twelve. It was unlucky that we were reaped, but fortunate that we got to know each other and made it out of the games. It was luck, that our demons after the games, didn't drive us apart but rather together to take care of each other. Peeta and I seem to always be on this road to and from each other. I'm determined to break the cycle and keep him with me once and for all this time.
I head out of my apartment and close the door behind me. I'm anxious to get there and see if this goes well. I say hello to people in passing. When I'm passing the Dining Hall, I see Gale and Madge and Van and Johanna engrossed in conversation. I think something is up with all of them. They look a little too happy. I make a mental note to ask Rye clue me in on the gossip going around so I stay in the loop. Don't want to feel like an idiot. I get to Peeta's door and Haymitch is waiting for me, as promised.
He gives me a hug. It's just what I need. "Morning sweetheart. You okay?" he asks. "Yeah, I think I can handle this. I just hope it goes well. I really miss him." I answer back. Haymitch nods and says "well it's now or never. The boy has been anxious all morning. Even prettied himself up for you. I must say, you look nice yourself. You kids are too cute!" He pinches my cheek and gives me a pat on my butt to push me through the door. Once I'm in, there is no escaping. When I lock eyes with Peeta I see that they're still blue and I breathe a sigh of relief.
"Hey, good morning. They're bringing breakfast in a few minutes. You can sit wherever you feel more comfortable. How did you sleep?" Peeta asks. His voice is so smooth when he speaks. I already feel at ease. "Um, I didn't sleep too well. Nothing new. You?" I ask. He grins, "Not too good either. It's draining. Have a seat, you're making me nervous." I glance over to the chair near the window and sit myself down in it. I'd really like to sit closer to him but I don't want to freak him out. It's my turn to start. "So how's it going with the limbs tied down thing? I feel bad they have to do that to you while I'm in the room." He shrugs "It's okay. Not a big deal. Worth it to have you for a visit." Peeta laughs then and addresses the small window on the door. "Hey Haymitch, if you get any closer to the window, you'll be making out with it. A little privacy please? You're right outside." Haymitch gives him the finger and retreats to his seat. We both crack up. Peeta can be such a smart ass.
Breakfast comes and Haymitch takes the opportunity to deliver it personally. Probably trying to spy on us just a tad. He places the tray down on the table and says, "When you're all better Peeta, I'm gonna fuck you up for all the stress you've put me and the girl through. Just a heads up boy." It's Peeta's turn to give Haymitch the finger and then he shoos him out of the room. We both laugh again. It feels good to laugh for a change. We start eating our breakfast of eggs and bacon. There's coffee and juice as well. I fix my coffee and he stares at me for a minute. Then he says softly "I told you to fix your coffee like that. Light and sweet. You would have it black." He remembered! "Real Peeta." He beams. "Mind if we play some more real or not real while we visit?" he asks. "Fire away Mellark." The coffee is really good. I fold my legs up into the chair and warm my hands around the mug. Peeta thinks for a moment, probably about where to start with his questions.
"Um, in the cave, you gave me sleep syrup, hoping to dull my senses and kill me." "Not real. I gave you sleep syrup because you needed medicine for blood poisoning from your leg wound. You wouldn't let me go to the feast alone to fight for it."
"You let my hand go at the Cornucopia and I fell down towards the mutts." "Not real. I grabbed you and pulled you up. Obviously, you're still alive Peeta."
"Back at home, you secretly had a thing for Gale and not me." "Not real. Gale has always been my best friend and nothing more to me. You and I just never really spoke. I should have said thank you for the bread the following day and you just couldn't even look me in the eye. I assumed you didn't like me so I just let it go."
"Okay, I'm back to some personal stuff." he says. I interject "Can we leave that for the phone tonight?"
"No deal. Now is just as good a time as any" he says. I groan.
"The first time we made love was on our wedding night?" "Not real." I blush.
"Katniss, I would never do that before marriage. You have to be lying to me." I blush some more.
"Why don't we call your buddy Haymitch in here so he can tell you all about it?" I offer.
"Haymitch knows about it? Why does Haymitch know about it? How the hell did this happen?" I laugh and go get Haymitch. He comes in, not knowing what he's in for. "What can I do you for?" he asks.
"Haymitch, I just asked Katniss if our first intimate time together was on our wedding night and she said no and that you could tell me all about it. I consider myself a pretty traditional guy so I want to hear how I ended up in bed with Katniss prior to a commitment with her. Tell me." Haymitch gives me a dirty look. "Nice going sweetheart. Throwing me under the bus because you two couldn't keep your pants on. You jerk." "Whose calling who a jerk Haymitch? I'm not the one that played a drinking game with two pent up horny teenagers who hadn't spoken in two months. You're the jerk. I'm glad the view you got shaved ten years off your life." I bark. He scoffs "It was twenty years sweetheart. I walked in on you both twice, remember?"
Peeta has heard enough "Would somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on here? We were drunk? Haymitch walked in on us? What do you mean we didn't talk for two months? Somebody better do some explaining because I don't recall any of this. I'm trying to remember so many things." Haymitch keeps going. "You were mad at sunshine over here because you thought she liked Gale when you were getting home from the games. You avoided her for two months. One night, you both end up at my house and I get out a bottle of white liquor and figure I'm gonna get you both drunk while playing black or red, a card game. You were red, she was black. I throw the card down with your color, you're safe. If it's not, you take a shot and the winner asks you a question that you have to answer honestly. I took a shot for every time I dealt the cards. Sweetheart kept losing and was getting pretty lit. You caught up to her. You were both asking pretty elicit questions of each other. When she finally got aggravated, she grabbed the bottle and stormed off to your house, you were hot on her heels. I drank some more, passed out and then when I got up in the morning and went to check on you Peeta, I found you both naked as jaybirds all wrapped up in your sheets. Then after you got married, I walked in on you again and there went another ten years. You can fill in the rest of the details sweetheart. I'm all done with this conversation." He walks away and shutters.
Peeta looks at me and asks "Is he for real? Is everything true up to that point?" "Real" I nod. "Tell me what happened after we left his house. I had plans for us. I still can't believe I let it go that far."
I smirk "well, we got to your house and we were just going to continue but you upped the stakes. I didn't want you to win the little game. Lots of sexy little details had come out and I was determined to make you uncomfortable somehow and win. You decided that seeing me naked would be better. So, whoever lost the round, did the shot and took off a piece of clothing per the request/demand of the other." Peeta cannot suppress a grin.
"Did I get you naked first?" "Nope. I got to gawk at you a for a moment before you got me out of my bra and panties by winning the last two rounds." Peeta is turning pink. "So you're telling me that we were staring at each other naked? What happened next?" It's my turn to go red. "I won the next round. I told you to kiss me and the rest was history. No holding back after something that erotic." Peeta's mouth is hanging open. He's blushing so hard now. "Jeez Katniss, I don't know what to say."
"It's okay Peeta. We both made the decision and besides, our Toasting was right after wards. We more than made up for it with our vows and our wedding night."
Peeta pats the spot next to him on the bed. I don't hesitate to go over to him. This morning has gone more than well. I get butterflies in my stomach just being so close to him. I sit down and he leans up a little bit. He's within kissing distance to me now. Peeta closes his eyes and leans in to smell my hair. He brings his fingers to my braid and takes the band out. Letting it fall in waves around my shoulders. He runs his free hand through it. I close my eyes. I just want to savor this moment while I can. Peeta brushes his lips across my cheek and to my lips. He doesn't kiss them really, just brushes his lips against mine, our foreheads touching. The whole experience is very sensual.
We both linger for a few moments and then I slowly open my eyes to find his blue ones starting back at me. I sign in relief. They are still blue. He looks from my eyes to my lips, seeking permission. I have never denied him anything before and I am certainly not going to deny him now. I pray I haven't made a mistake I'll regret later. His lips find mine and we melt into each other. It's like time has stopped. It's just the two of us in this moment. His tongue grazes my lips and I part them to allow him entry. He deepens the kiss then. It's been so long since I've had him with me, that it's hard to get my bearings and bring us back to reality.
When he breaks the kiss, I'm a bit startled. I just didn't expect it to end, we were so involved. I look into his eyes and notice they've darkened, to the point that I grow fearful. Peeta's hand is on my face and he just looks at me and says "Go." I leave the room in a heartbeat. I'm all wound up now. Panting as I make my way back to my quarters to calm down. I decide to bypass my room and just go straight to training. Getting out into the woods or doing some hand to hand combat will do my some good and help me rid some tension.
Some time has gone by now since Peeta's rescue and a mission is in the works to kill President Snow. I've been given the opportunity to personally end his life and I have accepted the challenge. We know that it'll be severely dangerous and that we won't all make it back to Thirteen. It's a risk I'm willing to take to ensure that everyone I love is safe. Basically anyone without a trade is a soldier. Rye and Van are also soldiers but are not on the Star Squad like Gale and I. Having grown up in the woods, we excel at archery and knives. Adding other weapons to the mix, only enhance our capabilities and challenge us. Finnick is also on the Squad. He jokes around often that he's going to steal the spotlight from me and finish off Snow himself. I promise him I have an arrow with his name on it if he tries.
A few more weeks pass by and Peeta and I have been doing great. He's been working on controlling his thoughts, feelings and impulses to kill me quite nicely. It isn't until I have to tell him that I am leaving for a few weeks of propo's that things quickly go downhill. I visit him for dinner, like I've been doing at almost every meal. He's no longer in the Hospital and has his own room that's outfitted with cameras. Haymitch straps him down when I visit and then stays outside, just to be certain. The episodes are becoming infrequent but they do still exist.
I sit next to him and hold his hand. This is going to be difficult. "Peeta, I'm going to have to leave for a little while and do some propo's in other Districts. Coin has ordered it. I haven't been seen by anyone outside of Thirteen since you were rescued and we need to keep the movement strong. She thinks it'll be three or four weeks that I'll be gone but I could be back sooner." I take a deep breath and wait for it.
Peeta's eyes immediately darken as he goes into the episode. I start to get up but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back to him. He's got me in the perfect spot so that he can use his strapped hand too. He grabs me around my waist and holds my leg with his strapped hand. There is no escaping. His voice grows deep and menacing "You can't leave me Katniss. You think you can just walk away from me? Your husband? Now I get it. You never loved me. You tried to kill me. Let the mutts get me. You think you're so perfect because you're Katniss Everdeen, girl on fire. I have news for you Katniss, it's not all about you all the fucking time. You don't give a damn about anyone else but yourself! I would never have left you. Never! Yet you always leave me or try to kill me. You and your fucking survival skills."
I know that this isn't Peeta at all and yet all of this garbage spewing out of his mouth has come from somewhere. I try to be open minded but then I notice his free hand is at my neck and he's squeezing tighter. His eyes are so pitch black. I summon all of my courage and try to speak. "Only a fucking coward would accuse his wife of not loving him. I never left you. Go fuck yourself Peeta."
This only turns him on and he's trying to force his tongue into my mouth. Thank god he's strapped down. I let him kiss me for a moment and then bite his lip, really hard. I taste his blood on my tongue. He throws me back so hard that I hit my head on the cabinet. The sound startles Haymitch into action and he comes barreling through the door. He sees me on the floor and then scoops me up and brings me to my room. I hear Peeta screaming in the background, trying to get out of his straps, yelling to bring back his whore of a wife. I start to cry but Haymitch just holds me close and says Peeta is an ass.
A couple of days go by and it's time to leave for propos. I contemplate saying goodbye to Peeta but can't bring myself to visit him. Haymitch has him confined to his room until I'm gone. He hasn't even requested to see me. I guess it's all for the best. I get on the hovercraft and turn around to look at the base. Sometimes these propos are dangerous themselves. There's opposition everywhere and we are always heavily armed for battle while filming. I stare at the door and wish I could see him one more time. Then I see him, one hand up in a goodbye wave. I blow him a kiss and the door closes.