-Wonderweiss's translated speech will be in Italics, unless unable to be translated, it will remain untouched; there may be times when his speech is fine.
-all thoughts for all characters will be as such: "{abc}"
Chapter 21:
Vampires Suck
Grimmjow:
Girl please excuse me
If I'm coming too strong.
But tonight is the night
We can really let it go.
My girlfriend is out of town
And I'm all alone.
Your boyfriend is on vacation
And he doesn't have to know.
No oh oh, oh oh
No one can do the things I'm gonna wanna do to you
No oh oh, oh oh
Shout aloud, screaming loud
Let me hear you go!
Shunsui: Baby I like it!
Renji: The way you move on the floor
Shunsui: Baby I like it!
Renji: Come on and give me some more
Shunsui: Oh yes I like it!
Renji: Screaming like never before
Shunsui:
Baby I like it
I, I, I like it.
Okay, you're probably wondering why Grimmjow, Shunsui, and Renji are up on stage singing I Like It, dressed in vampire costumes (and we're talking goth, lolita, midevil, etc). Well, I will say to skip all embarrassments, I was taught about "the birds and the bees" by Luppi, since Gin and Ichigo ended up in an arguement over who would teach me. I was actually glad to see Luppi when he pulled up; the arguement was getting a bit scary. I didn't exactly like finding out how both genders tick, because now I have issues seeing some of the girls the same way. I think I may have even completely gotten over Sakura because of it...
Back to the singing. It all started a week ago after Luppi rescued me from Ichigo and Gin arguing, and me learning about puberty soon after. Later that day, while I was still with Luppi, we found Karin, one of Ichigo's sisters, walking around with some flyers...
"Hey Karin, over here!" I call out, waving my hand.
She notices and says, "Oh hey Wonderweiss! Haven't seen you in a while. Yikes, what happened to your leg?"
"He had an acident. What's with the flyers?" Luppi asks.
"Oh these...I'm helping Tatsuki pass them out. She said that her school's holding a dance this Halloween and it's vampire themed; don't ask me why." she answers.
"The perfect opportunity for me to help! Gimme some flyers!" I say with great excitement.
"Wonderweiss, I can tell you want to help, but in your condition, I wouldn't exactly be moving around too much." Luppi says.
"Actually you two can help me. I know you're friends with my brother, Ichigo. Here, I'll give you each some flyers to pass around to your friends. I need to hang up the rest around town." Karin says, giving us a small stack each.
"{Heheh, I know where this one's going!}" Luppi thinks, getting an idea, and I think I had a feeling of what he was thinking.
"Alright, Wonderweiss, you better come back to the house and rest up. I'll be back in a couple hours; I need to meet up with Yuzu in a few minutes. See ya guys!" Karin says before rushing passed us.
"Luppi, what's a dance?" I ask.
"Are you trying to ask about the dance? They're one of the best things to attend growing up. Proms are a bit rougher because they're expensive, but school dances are more fun and cheaper. With this being a Halloween Dance and having a set theme, that means everyone will be dressed as a vamire. And we have a week too!" Luppi replies.
I'm not sure what to really think, since my leg is still broke. I don't even know what dancing means...well, except for the fact it's another word for "fight". Damn Aizen for ripping my brain apart! What if that was a valued memory? Luppi soon says getting some actual rest would be a good idea by now, and he was right. As we head back to his car parked on the other side of the street, we notice D-Roy in cat form running away from something. He quickly hides behind us, and we soon find Yoruichi in cat form chasing him. She stops on the other side, checking for traffic, and after a few cars pass by, she runs over to us.
"Hey Yoruichi. How are things?" Luppi greets.
"Things would be fine Luppi, escept D-Roy did something diabolical a few minutes ago." Yoruichi replies.
"What did he do?" I ask.
"That bastard. He ate all my special catnip!" Yoruichi says.
"...That's diabolical? Seeing him high on something I'd think would be funny." Luppi says.
"But it was SPECIAL catnip! Believe it or not, it came from the Soul Society! And he ate the whole jar! Now where is he?" Yoruichi growls before being lifted up by her scruff as she goes, "Yoink!"
It was Kisuke lifting her in a such a manner. She was pretty mad about it too, as she tried to scratch his face off.
"Easy, Yoruichi, D-Roy wasn't the culprit. Your catnip is safe; all he ate was some tasteless herb." Kisuke says.
"Aha! See, I told ya!" D-Roy says, coming out of hiding.
"You're looking for me to slash your balls of, aren't you?" Yoruichi growls.
With his heart leaping into his throat, D-Roy flinches in fear and dashes up the nearest street light. Kisuke puts Yoruichi down, and she resumes chasing D-Roy. When she got up to the top, D-Roy jumped back, but didn't stick his landing and he falls into a mailbox. Yoruichi laughs in success, and gracefully jumps down to the ground and walks away. D-Roy starts to whine from inside the mailbox, unable to find a way out. I walk over and stick my crutch inside the mailbox, and D-Roy uses it to climb out, thanking me. He decides to ride on my back, similar to Ash and Pikachu.
"She's relentless." Luppi says.
"But still my best friend. Anyway, have you guys seen Ichigo around?" Kisuke asks.
"Last we saw, he was arguing with Gin in the parking lot where Szayel's workplace is. Are Hollows attacking again?" Luppi answers.
"No. I ran into Tatsuki, and she mentioned their school is having a Halloween Dance. She said that they also have no DJ, which I find odd." Kisuke replies.
"{I'm so staying home this time...}" I think to myself.
"You know, Grimmjow told me he was getting bored. He's got a good singing voice. Hey, maybe we Arrancar can help provide a band!" Luppi suggests.
"Great idea Luppi! Oh, Hisagi's in town too. Maybe I can get him and the other Shinigami to help out too!" Kisuke says.
I then interject with a look, "My leg is going numb, can I go home now?"
"I need to go look for a vampire costume! Maybe something flashy?" Luppi soon starts to think out loud.
"I know I'm going as a midevil vampire!" Kisuke says.
D-Roy shouts, "GUYS THE KID'S IN PAIN, DAMMIT!"
"Ah, he ain't a 'kid' anymore!" Luppi says.
D-Roy tilts one ear in confusion, then looks down and says, "...so that's what that buldge is..."
Needless to say, I slammed him into the street light, causing it to bend backwards from the sheer force. Luppi and Kisuke crack up as I die inside...I could hear Extinguir laughing out of embarrassment. D-Roy falls out of the street light's pole and onto the ground flat on his stomach, not even attempting to break his own fall. With that, Luppi says he's going to take me home to recover, and Kisuke says he'll notify Hisagi about the band idea.
Finally at home after the embarrassment from D-Roy, I was resting in Ichigo's bed. Grimmjow was home, trying to figure out what would be good for dinner. He couldn't find much of anything lying around, including the fact that Isshin, Ichigo's dad, had somehow snuck his way inside without Grimmjow hearing him. Isshin watches carefully as Grimmjow goes through the fridge, finding an exprired half-gallon of milk, no pun intended; milk dies fast. He places that in the sink and goes back to see what he could do for a quick sandwhich to te him over, but not before Isshin loudly lunges at Grimmjow. He doesn't know panthers well...Grimmjow grabs Isshin's arm before the attack was complete, then throws Isshin over his shoulder, slamming him against the wall, somehow avoiding in hitting the fridge door first. Isshin falls onto the floor a few seconds after.
"Now I understand why Ichigo fights the way he does; you surprise him too much. By the way, I heard you come in, old man." Grimmjow says, closing the fridge door.
"Gyoo...You're good, Grimmjow. And Ichigo should be a great fighter!" Isshin says, getting up.
"By the way, this half-gallon of milk is over a week old."
"No way, I just bought that!"
"It is. Now where's Yuzu? I'm starving."
"What, you can't cook for yourself?"
"I don't exactly have the right skills to make something out of half the foods being expired."
"Then we shall order out tonight! And I'll do some shopping tomorrow...maybe I'll have Ichigo do it"
Grimmjow says as he walks over to the couch and sits down, "Make it chinese food."
"Do you think we're made of money?" Isshin freaks.
"Who said you're paying, old man? I'm having Ichigo pay for this one."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. He owes me after stealing my only ramen the other day. Oh and by the way, try to be quiet; Wonderweiss is trying to rest."
God I wanted to kill those two. They were being really loud! No matter though; I found some paper and a marker in Ichigo's desk to keep me busy for the while.
The rest of the week could only be described in one word: hell. With Ichigo's family back, Grimmjow and Isshin did not see eye-to-eye at all. I tried to keep myself hidden from Matsumoto who constantly came by to take me clothes shopping so she could get me new clothes; I think me hitting puberty is bad enough! Last thing I need to be worrying about is adult underwear, though even Kon stated I'd have to get some at some point. Gin kept annoying the hell out of Ulquiorra by asking him to let him stay with them, as he likes talking to Luppi. Ulquiorra would reply by hitting him with something since "no" wasn't working well. He eventually talked Kisuke into letting him stay there until he could find a place. Karin and Yuzu got me re-used to girls again just by playing video games and hanging out. Nel, Pesche, and Dondochakka frequently stopped by to see how I was doing, and when Nel would stick around for a while Rukia would get jealous. Kisuke got some of the Shinigami to come to the Living World to perform for the school, as well as Luppi getting some of the Arrancar to accept.
However, the night before the dance was more than just hell.
It was around 8 at night and I was with Ichigo. We were looking for vampire costumes for the dance. Ichigo found one that almost resembled his Bankai, but the jacket part of his Bankai is more like a cloak for the costume. I was still looking around, till I finally found one I liked. I called over Ichigo to show him.
"Keh, not a bad choice, Weissy. It'll make you look like a Vampire Prince. Hmm...it's missing something. Take it off the rack and follow me, I think I saw a small crown near the front of the store." Ichigo says.
"Yay, I can be a Prince of the Vampires instead of a Prince of Extinquished Flames!" I say.
As we try to locate this small crown, we find someone sneaking around the shop. Ichigo has me hide in one of the circular racks as he investigates the sneaky person. He hands me his costume till this was over. As I hide, he carefully makes his way over, and the figure seemed familiar to him as he cocked his head back in surprise. He taps the person on the back and both of them jump in fear.
"What the? Ulquioorra? What are you doing here?" Ichigo asks.
I climb out as Ulquiorra replies, "Since I'm being forced into this whole band thing, I have no choice but to dress as a vampire."
"They're forcing you to go?" Ichigo asks.
"Yes. I don't want to mention how they did it. But apparently your school is holding a costume contest; I plan on winning this by recreating my Segunda Etapa." Ulquiorra replies.
"You'll win for sure then. I'm not exactly into that thing, but I'm sure it caught Grimmjow's attention." Ichigo says.
"You have no idea. He plans on recreating his Pantera and mixing it with vampire-like accessories. He won't win. I know for a fact that you humans go for looks, correct? In that case, I'll be winning the adoration from most of the women here." Ulquiorra says.
"Because of the fact that-" "-I'm half naked and mostly fur below the belt." "Exactly." the guys say.
"You're Segunda Etapa may have coolness to it, but my cuteness rules over all!" I say.
"Oh great, now Weissy's gotten competitive." Ichigo says.
"Hmph. I better hurry before someone catches me here. I'm supposed to meet the Quincy at his place in an hour." Ulquiorra says walking off.
Ichigo shakes his head, and something sticks out out of the corner of his eye. He gravs it and says, "Ah, here's the small crown I saw!"
"I wonder if Tosen is going to this?" I ask.
"Tosen? He might show up if you're going. We better pay for these." he says.
Once out of the store, we were heading home, till we noticed a huge spiritual pressure nearby. Looking around, it was right behind us and...it was Hallibel in her Ressureccion fighting off a Menos Grande; but she looks to weak to fight. Why was she fighting off a low class hollow that she could end in one swing? Ichigo hands me the bag with our costumes in it and tells me to stay in place. He takes out his Soul Reaper Badge, places it on his chest, and his body falls to the ground as he becomes a Shinigami. Hallibel is suddenly kicked by the massive hollow in our direction, and Ichigo catches her. He sets her down and goes after the Menos, not bothering to go Bankai. He jumps up and slashes at the mask, cutting it in two. The Menos Grande disintegrates as Ichigo lands. He rushes back over and sees that Hallibel is in trouble. Without words, Ichigo quickly gets back into his body, picks up Hallibel, and we rush to Urahara Shoten.
After a while, Kisuke's crew were able to get Hallibel into a stable condition. But until she recovers, not much can be done about a gigai. But just then, she wakes up, looking at all of us.
"Hallibel, what happened back there? Aren't you supposed to be with Aizen?" Ichigo asks.
"DON'T mention that dick's name!" Hallibel threatens.
"Calm down. Just rell us what's going on. Ichigo saved you from the Menos Grande." Kisuke says.
"I know he did. I saw it before I passed out. But if you must know, he was making a choice of which Espada to keep at his side, and of course he chooses Barragan. I detested the idea and argued my place, and Aizen attacks using the power of the Hogyoku. I struggled to escape Hueco Mundo as he disabled my ability to use Garganta for a while. Eventually I had no choice but to resort to my Ressureccion. Afterwards, I regained the ability to use my Garganta and escaped, but my weakened state must've attracted a Menos Grande. I used the last of my spirit pressure to call for help, which left me defenseless. If that thing had eaten me, it would've become an Adjucas; it had a unique mask and not the common kind." Hallibel explains.
"Come to think of it, it's mask did look different. I can see why Aizen chose Barragon, though; he has literally the most deadly attack of all the Espada. Looks like you'll be staying here with us." Ichigo says.
"Either that or she can stay with Orihime; we need someone to keep Matsumoto in check." I suggest.
"What about Orihime and Matsumoto?" Hallibel asks.
"You should know those two by now. Matsumoto likes to stay with Orihime and keep her company. But she's been causing trouble lately." Kisuke replies looking over at me.
Hallibel replies getting the message, "So the boy's a man now, huh? She must want to take him somewhere."
"You have no ide-yaaaahhhh!" Kisuke says before I bash his head in with the crutch.
"Sensative too. I think I know a way to repay you, Ichigo. Once I recover enough to walk, I'll see if Orihime will let me stay with her. Also, I'll help you in teaching Wonderweiss how to be less sensative about his 'issue'." Hallibel says.
"That's asking too much from you." Ichigo says.
"Don't worry. I no longer have to worry about that asshole with the 'watch me shower' smile anymore. I'm free to do what I want without consequence, right?" Hallibel says.
"Technically yes, but there are laws to follow around here." Kisuke answers.
"I'm not too worried about these 'laws'. Just make me a gigai and you have a new ally." Hallibel says.
"In that case, welcome to the group." Ichigo says.
The next day, most of Ichigo's class and school mates were working hard preparing the cafeteria for the dance. I was actually there myself, blowing up balloons using a helium tank, and a reular air tank so that not all of the balloons were floating. Everyone else were hanging up other decorations and making sure the fog machine was ready to go. One of the students grabbed one of the helium filled balloons, sucked in the gas, and his voice became ultra squeaky! When some of them had a free minute, they wrote on my cast, mostly wishing me to feel better, etc. Everything got done around the time the day would be over. That's when Hallibel made an appearance. Needless to say she attracted a lot of guys, though she was dressed conservatively; I think it might be her eyes or something...she either shoved them away or hit them where it hurt. Either way, she got rid of them pretty fast, and came over to the group.
"You must be feeling better if you can walk in a gigai." Chad says, knowing the story.
"Just enough to walk. I didn't expect being surrounded by men the second I got here." Hallibel replies.
"Sorry 'bout that. Some of the guys here are complete jerks; that's where Chad and I come in." Ichigo says.
"I'll teach them to fear women to a point then. But for now, I have Matsumoto under control." Hallibel says.
"Really? I hope you didn't hurt her." Orihime says.
"Didn't need to. I got her to listen to me after I whacked her head a couple times. I think she knew what was going on. Anyway, is Wonderweiss any less sensative today?" Hallibel answers.
"No one's really approached him about it. I told him no one would be able to tell the difference despite what D-Roy said earlier this week. Grimmjow's returned to smacking him around." Uryuu says.
"No surprise there; Grimmjow smacked around all his Fraccion back in the day. I do miss my Fraccion, though. It's really quiet without Mila Rose and Apache bickering, and Sun-Sun breaking them up by being a smartass." Hallibel recalls.
"And we know who to blame for that." Chad says.
"Hey Hallibel, do you wanna come to the dance tonight? If you wanna get in you gotta dress like a vampire!" Orihime asks.
Hallibel smiles and says, "Maybe for a little while. It'll all depend on how much energy I'll have then. Anyway, Kisuke said that since I was coming to your school, he wanted me to give you this."
She hands over the small box. Ichigo opens it, and out pops a small bat with lit up red eyes and it speaks, "Hey Ichigo! First off, Happy Mid-Day Halloween! Second, you know my underground training area? I'm having an issue with a Hollow that I can't seem to kill. We have him under control for now, but once you're free, please come to my shop and help me out. I promise to pay you handsomly."
"Kisuke, having a Hollow problem? Oh, this I gotta see!" Uryuu says.
"I'd let the hollow torment him too for all the shit he's put us through, but I gotta get rid of it. If you guys wanna come you can." Ichigo says.
"Why not? I'm starting to feel rusty." Chad says.
"I need to keep my powers sharp; I'll join too." Uryuu says.
"I'm coming too! I want to increase my powers!" Orihime says.
"In that case, I'll keep an eye on Wonderweiss for you." Hallibel offers.
"That'd actually be great, if it isn't too much trouble." Ichigo agrees.
"No trouble at all; he always kept to himself or stayed close to Tosen back in Los Noches." Hallibel replies.
An hour later, we were all at Kisuke's. Turns out the Hollow is an Adjuchas; no wonder he can't kill it. Ichigo and the others head down into the underground where the rest of us watch over Ichigo's body. Once they were there, they found the Adjuchas smashing some large rocks and boulder formations, shouting out a name. It had three heads, all dragon but different styles, long necks, the front half of a horse's body, the back half of a lion, and the tail of a whale. It was as big as a house and meant business. The group wasted no time in attacking: Ichigo going Bankai and using Getsuga Tenshou, Uryuu with his arrows, Chad with El Directo, and Orihime using Koten Zanshun. The attacks are all able to hit the Adjuchas, but after the smoke clears, it appears to not have scratch. Ichigo gets an idea; he remembers that Chad has the Left Arm of the Devil. Ichigo gets Chad to get that arm going, which he does. He asks for Uryuu to cover them. As Uryuu distracts the Adjuchas, Ichigo uses his ability to "fly" to lift up Chad, and rush in from behind the arrows. When the arrows stopped, Ichigo and Chad had gotten close to it, Ichigo letting go and Chad falling in in, punching the hollow in the chest, creating the skull-shape in it. Chad falls to the ground, landing on his feet while Ichigo uses Getsyga Tenshou point blank, aiming for the skull indent. The attack cuts right through the Adjuchas, and it desintagrates.
"That was awfully easy for an Adjuchas." Chad says.
"BECAUSE IT WASN'T REAL~!" Kisuke calls.
Needless to say, the guys are first to burst out of the underground, Orihime being left behind in their rage. Uryuu fires off four arrows, one hooking one limb to the wall by the clothes.
Ichigo holds his sword up to Kisuke's neck and says with a psychotic look, "You bastard! Why'd you have us do that then?"
"Easy kid! If you want your answer, check out Wonderweiss!" Kisuke answers.
They all look over and find the cast has been removed.
"...What the f*ck?" Uryuu asks.
"That fake Adjuchas was actually a new healing technique that Mayuri is working on. If you can defeat it, the person in your party who is most damaged gets revived in some way. In this case, it fully healed Weissy's broken leg. He said it can only be used once, but he's still trying to pperfect it." Kisuke explains.
"You Shinigami really are weird." Hallibel says.
"I could say the same about you Arrancar, but I don't feel like dying young. It's also Mayuri's way of saying he still considers himself an ally to Wonderweiss despite all that's happened." Kisuke says.
And hours later brings us to this point at the dance where Grimmjow, Shunsui, and Renji are singing "I Like It". I was being taught how to dance by the guys while Hallibel kept a close eye on Matsumoto. Both their costumes were revealing, but not as evil as Hallibel's original Espada outfit. Grimmjow got to complete his idea of recreating his Pantera and mixing it with vampire-like accessories. Ulquiorra, however, became as he said but in simpler terms: a lady's man. Those that wanted the girls to come to them didn't get their wish due to Ulquiorra, who was no longer liking the idea.
As for me though, I still ended up the cutest vampire. They call me Wonderweiss Margera, the Vampire Prince!
Vampires Suck: a Twilight parody movie. Appears to have the Edward and Jacob teams fighting each other.
I Like It: a song performed by Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull.
Ash and Pikachu: the two main characters from the (now dying) anime, Pokemon. Pikachu rides on Ash's sholders when he isn't walking, sometimes holding onto his head, or being on his shoulders like a bird would. Ash of course, is his trainer, and at first Pikachu did not like him. But after trying to protect Pikachu from a flock of Spearow, and Pikachu blew them away with a powerful Thundershock during a thunderstorm, the two have been close friends.
Hallibel's Ressureccion: is probably one of the skimpiest, but that's not what I am to explain. She seems to be the only Arrancar to use water-based attacks, and they only seem to get stronger during her Ressureccion. Her face is also revealed, and can take on three opponents (Toshiro, Hiyori, and Lisa) without much problems. However, her defeat was not what anyone had in mind ad Aizen swiftly cuts her down. She is also revealed to be a Vasto Lorde, another reason why she was able to take on three powerful foes without a beat of sweat. Despite having this power, her attacks and Toshiro's attacks rival each other.