As Sharon stomped into Andy's house, he sighed and took a deep breath. Okay, so maybe he'd gone a bit too far and should have just tried talking to her. Provenza had encouraged his behavior-the dating profile, not the talking, even coming up with the name. Andy thought back to that discussion.
"Provenza, she's using a dating website!" he'd called him completely out of breath.
"Flynn, what are you talking about, and why are you bothering me on the weekend. We don't have a dead body, and the Dodgers aren't playing today, so what's the problem?" he asked.
"She's using a dating website!" Andy said again, completely exasperated.
"Who? Emily? Nicole? Your sister? Who is 'she' and why are you so irritated?" he asked.
"Sharon!" Andy exclaimed. "Emily just called me and said Sharon is using a dating website!" he spelled out for Provenza.
"And?" Provenza said as he drew out the word. "I feel like a 13-year-old girl right now with you calling me with the latest gossip, but if I must spell this out to get back to my day, here you go-you broke it off with her, not that you didn't have reason, but you did. That was what, over a year ago now, Flynn? The two of you have barely been able to stand in the same room together, let alone get along. You've only recently started not screaming at each other, probably the only good thing to come of the ballerina's broken arm. You had to spend several days in New York together, and thankfully, neither of you were arrested for domestic issues. She's single, and I even have to admit, very attractive, but don't you worry-not my type. So, why after all this time, are you calling me so upset that a single adult female, with whom you are not involved, your baby mama and that's all she is at this point, is using a dating website?"
Andy let out a frustrated sound into the phone, one that couldn't be described, "Because it's Sharon! She can't be using a dating website?"
"Because?" Provenza baited him. Provenza hadn't been a detective for all these years without being aware of his surroundings.
"Because I said so!" Andy bellowed, and then he took a long deep breath. "Because I can't stand to see her do that. I don't want to see Sharon dating anyone."
"I'll say it again….because-" Provenza stated, letting that out there to hang.
"I don't know why, Provenza! Because I don't like it!" he exclaimed.
"Oh, you are a better detective than that, Flynn. You know why-say it," Provenza said.
"Fine! Because I love her, and I don't want her dating anyone else. I'm so tired of being mad at her. I've not slept in over a year. I've gone through the full range of emotions, and I'm back to the point I don't want to be without her, but yes, we aren't together. She kept a huge secret from me, and that was enough to destroy us. I can't seem to work past forgetting about it, but I want to. What do I do with that?" he barked at Provenza.
"Order a pizza. I'll come over. We can sit around in our pajamas like a teenage girl slumber party and talk about the cute ones. Come on, Flynn! Get me some food so it's worth my while to come over there and talk your sorry self through this," Provenza said before he hung up the phone.
Andy was in worse shape than Provenza though when he arrived. He looked like he was ready to faint; he was pale and looked beside himself. Provenza realized Andy had it bad.
"So, what's this dating nonsense?" Provenza asked as he plopped down on the couch with a pack of beer. "Is that where she dug up the guy I've seen her with, the same guy we saw her getting into the elevator? Where's the pizza?"
"It's coming!" Andy said, irritated. "Emily called me earlier. You know she's been on the outs with Sharon for quite some time. Well, she called me because she'd talked to Sharon, Mother's Day today, you know. Ricky had told her when he was trying to setup some chat. Emily made some comment about it didn't matter when they spoke to Sharon because she was always around, and Ricky let it slip that she was in and out of the house a lot more now because she was using this dating website. We put two and two together, and I told her about seeing Sharon going out Friday night. I was sick about that then! That dirt bag had his hands all over Sharon, and I don't like it! Add that to you seeing them at the Dodger game! I don't want Sharon going to fancy dinners or Dodger games, not without me!"
"Why did Emily call you about it? Certainly, she's a grown woman and shouldn't be surprised to see her mom getting back out there," Provenza asked.
"She thought I would want to know! She asked me what I knew about it. Ricky setup Sharon with her account, and Emily asked if I'd heard anything about it. She's also a bit worried about her, even telling me that she had friends who had meet some real creeps using those websites. She might be irritated with Sharon, but she still loves her," Andy said.
"Ahh, the theme of the day!" Provenza exclaimed, earning a scowl from Andy. The pizza arrived, and the two took a few minutes to start eating before Provenza began the conversation again.
"What do you want from all this, Flynn? If you say you want the Captain, I might just throw up this pizza right here, right now," he pointed his finger on the coffee table, as to make a point. Andy stood and got the trash can.
"Here you go, then!" Andy exclaimed. "Go ahead, heave ho because fine, I want her back! I don't want her with anyone else. It kills me to think about that. Sharon with another guy, another guy with his hands on her. Oh, I think I'm going to be sick!" he said. "Pass me the trash can."
"You expect her to just run back to you? Now, she messed up, I get that, but this whole problem between you two has been bad, really bad. I can't believe you've managed to keep the rest of the division from finding out, probably because they dislike her too and think your dislike is just because of work. It's not like you can just show up there and kiss and make up. You both have a lot of issues to work through, that is, if she'll even take your sorry self back. She's no Girl Scout either, as you've said. You still are mad about Emily, not that you don't have reason, but still. As much as I don't want to admit it, there's more at stake, try four kids, one of which is your bouncing baby girl you share with her. I get it, they are all grown, but your breakup a year ago affected them all, and this isn't going to just be the Brady Bunch again overnight. You'd better think very carefully about this because she hurt you too."
"She did, but I'm finally seeing why! I've been talking to anyone who would listen, and Angela has really been helpful. I told you she and Sharon met in New York. Ang likes Sharon a lot, even with the whole Emily issue. Ang has helped me work through this to see that Sharon did the same thing Sandra did, just in a different way. Sharon protected Emily because I was a drunk, just as Sandra did. My kids' mothers protected my kids when they didn't need to be anywhere near me. I am sick over it; I wish it had been different, but it's the truth. Emily didn't see me as a drunk. Nicole and Nathan did. Emily and I are doing well as we get to know each other. Nicole and Nathan are struggling to rebuild things. I hate what Sharon did, but in a way, she did the right thing when I was too attached to the bottle to see anything else. Sandra did the right thing, even though I've been bitter and angry about it for decades. This is such a mess!" Andy rambled, running his hands through his hair.
"Well, welcome to rock bottom, Flynn," Provenza smacked him on the back. "You're there, this time sober, so now what?"
"How do I get Sharon back before she's gone?" he asked.
Provenza thought a few moments, "Have you considered finding her on this dating website and setting up your own date? Maybe you could charm her that way?"
"If she doesn't want to talk to me now, she won't respond to a request from me either," Andy said, now a bit calmer.
"No, Flynn! Not like that, you idiot! I mean, setup a fake profile, someone she doesn't know is you," he encouraged.
Andy thought a moment, nodding, "That's not a bad idea. Oh, I've got a better idea. Maybe this fake profile stands her up, makes her see that dating these losers isn't the best idea."
Provenza waved a hand at him, "That's on you. I like my idea better, but you take responsibility for your own actions there."
Andy jumped up and went in search of his computer. Once he found it, it took a couple of minutes to get onto the Internet. "So, you mean to tell me, the Captain, has her profile on her?" Provenza said with a bit of a chuckle.
"Apparently," Andy said. "I've been too worked up to find it." After a few minutes texting back and forth with Emily, which in turn, caused her to text Ricky, Andy had his information. Ricky didn't know what Emily was doing with it, so he had no idea what Andy was doing, but Andy explained to Emily that he was worried about Sharon. Too many creeps stalked these pages, and he was worried for her safety. It took a few minutes, but Andy and Provenza finally found Sharon's profile. They scanned it, and then Andy read it again.
"I can't believe she's doing this," Andy ran his hands through his hair again.
"Well, setup your own profile and send her a message," he said.
"No! I can't do it right now. That's too obvious. We just saw her Friday, the kids talked about it with her today. No, I need to wait. I need to figure out if she's going out again this week," he said.
"Well, you can at least create a profile. Now, let's give you a name. Oh, who could you be? Let's think of our most annoying murderer we've had," he suggested.
"I'm not giving myself the name of a murderer! That's sick!" Andy exclaimed.
"Fine, then pick the name of someone you know," Provenza suggested.
Andy shook his head, "No, she's too smart for that, and we know a lot of the same people."
"Okay, use a first name of someone and a last name of someone, even from work. She won't get that," he offered.
"Yeah, but Julio Provenza would stick out a little. So, would Buzz Tao or Fritz Sanchez, and well, you get it. That's not going to work," Andy huffed.
"I've got it! Use Chief's dad's name, Clay. They were just here. That's a decent name to use, and she won't remember that one," he offered.
Andy had a dumbfounded look on his face, and he nodded. "Yeah, that one works. Clay what?" he asked. "Sanchez, Tao, Watson-" he was cut off.
"Use Gabriel. That's common enough it shouldn't arouse suspicion. You stare at Gabriel all day, and that name doesn't raise any red flags."
Andy nodded, "Okay, fine. I'll use that and setup my profile, but I'm going to wait to send her a message."
"Is there a reason you haven't closed the door, Clay?" Andy was snapped out of his memory, the conversation with Provenza, and he turned back to find a very angry Sharon with her arms crossed, ready to battle. He could see it; she was fuming, and he was the cause. Oh, but she was here, at least she was here. He took a deep breath and closed the door softly as he turned to face her.