There's only going to be one more chapter! I hope you guys loved this story as much as I did. Thank you for the kind reviews and the love!
Warnings: Sex, violence, talks of child abuse, talks of physical abuse, talks of murder. I'll probably add more as I write, but if you see anything you want me to add just tell me and I will!
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Putting another box in the back of a moving van they had rented Deeks turned back to the place he'd been calling home. A part of him had actually thought that it was going to be the last place that he was going to live.
He had never really put much thought into where he lived. It was just a place. Most of the time it was a place that he was barely at. He hadn't had a real home as a kid and he had never put thought into getting one when he was an adult.
Then he moved in with Callen and he saw just what a house meant to the older man. That it could be a collection of everything that a person had and everything a person had ever dreamed of having. It was a home.
That was what the building had become. A place that was safe from all the bad guys that they had been working on putting away. A place to expand their little family. A place where they'd be able to raise their daughter.
When Mara was pregnant with Isabelle he had spent so much time daydreaming of what their life would be like. He'd imagine Callen chasing their daughter around the backyard or just himself carrying her upstairs after she fell asleep watching a movie.
If he was honest with himself sometimes he'd imagine what it would be like to have another child when Isabelle was a little older. Someone that she would love with all her heart. She'd be an amazing older sister. It would be like everything he saw in movies and tv shows.
The truth was that he didn't want to move out of the house. He loved it and he knew that it meant a lot to Callen. This had been their home when neither of them had thought they were ever going to have one.
It wasn't a matter of want anymore. They couldn't safely live in their home. Yes, the men that had broken in and tried to kill him were either dead or in jail, but that didn't meant more weren't going to come. Moving was their only option it keep their family safe.
It was more than that though. The house didn't hold the same level of security that it had before. It was no longer a house that they were raising their daughter in. It was the house that their daughter almost got kidnapped in.
Then, of course, there was the fact that Deeks had been forced to kill two kidnappers and knock out the other two. How could he not feel paranoid that something was going to happen to them after it already almost did?
Sighing Deeks slipped to the ground sitting on the sidewalk. From where he was he could see Kensi and Eric playing with Isabelle. All three of them had such big smiles on their lips. Like nothing had happened.
It had though and he couldn't forget. Every time he closed his eyes he saw what could have happened if he hadn't seen that shadow out of the corner of his eyes or if he had just brushed it off as being his husband.
He wasn't the detective that he used to be. The fact that he had won the fight was because of training that he no longer did and pure adrenaline. Even then the fact that his body was so sore told him everything that he needed to know.
Not wanting to think anymore he pulled his knees to his chest and dropped his head against them. Which made no real difference. If he was alone doing nothing than he was going to sit there over thinking every little thing.
He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, but his head jerked up when he felt a hand brush through his hair. Callen pulled his hand back making a placating motion as if he thought Deeks might attack him. The man wasn't far off.
Ever since that day in the boat shed things had been more than a little strained between them. The younger man knew that if they didn't have Isabelle Callen probably would have been staying with Sam while they tried to figure out a way to deal with everything.
At the moment in time Deeks wasn't completely sure that it was possible. He was still pissed about what happened, but in a way he could understand what had been going on in his husband's mind during the case.
What he couldn't get past was the complete lack of trust the older man had in him now that he had lost his hearing. They were supposed to be partners and it felt as if that had been thrown out the window without a second thought.
He just couldn't believe what the man had done to them. How his stupidity and need to be the protector had almost cost him everything. Those were not the actions that he expected from the man that he married.
It was back to the lone wolf crap that he used to pull. The only difference though was Deeks had always known that something was up. He had always been close by so he knew that there was something coming for them.
For the first time in awhile he realized just how removed he was from the team and the cases. He was a completely different person and they had no reason to tell him about anything that was going on. Somehow he thought they still would though
"Can I join you?" Callen signed looking more than a little awkward.
"Free country," Deeks replied watching the older man carefully.
For a moment it really did look as if the man was just going to turn around and go back inside. Then his shoulders slumped looking more defeated than he had ever seen before. That shouldn't have made his heart clench angrily.
"I can't tell you how sorry I am for putting you and Isabelle in danger like that," Callen signed after a moment of nothing.
"Then tell me how sorry you are for lying," Deeks shot back not holding back punches, "Or how sorry you are for not trusting me."
"I trust you!"
"Really? Your idea of trust is not telling me that someone threatened to kill your family?"
"I had it under control."
"They broke into our home! How is that 'under control'?"
Callen looked like he wanted to fight back but in an instant the fight washed out of him. Deeks watched him carefully as he stared at the ground taking a few deep breaths before finally looking up once more locking eyes with the man.
"I know," Callen started slowly, "I'm an idiot."
"No arguments here," Deeks responded faking calm, "Want to try something else?"
"I thought I was doing the right thing by protecting you."
"i might not be the man that I used to be, but I don't need that kind of protection. I'm deaf I'm not stupid."
"No, you're not. You don't need my protection at all really. You can take care of yourself and Isabelle."
"Then why did you lie?"
"Because it was good! We were good!"
Ocean blue eyes narrowed trying to figure out what the older man was talking about. Things didn't seem all that different from how they always were. It was a new normal for them yes, but it was their normal.
"Sunshine," Callen continued after taking a calming breath, "This is all I ever wanted. A family. You gave me everything that I could ever want. I wanted to protect that from this life. From the bombs and the guns and the death. I don't want Isabelle to ever see that. I don't want you to have to deal with that."
"That was my job," Deeks answered rolling his eyes slightly.
"I know. I should have remembered that. I wasn't thinking about you as Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD. I was thinking of you as my husband. I was thinking of you as one of the two people I love the most. I made a mistake forgetting that and I can never say I'm sorry enough for putting you both in danger."
Staring at the older man Deeks felt himself sigh. He was still mad at his husband. It was going to take a long time for him to move past what had happened, but he hated to see the man look so distraught.
Leaning forward he let their lips brush together before pulling away and standing it. It wasn't much of anything, but it was enough to bring a smile to Callen's lips as he made his way to his feet as well.
"I'm still mad," Deeks signed when they were looking at each other.
"But you're not going to kill me," Callen shrugged with a smile.
"I'm not going to kill you in your sleep. Make no promises during the day. Now get to work. We have a house to pack."