"Oh for Merlin's sake, kill me now" Sirius exclaimed, holding Harry's booklists in his hand.
"What's your problem?" Remus asked, quite used to Sirius' dramatics and not even looking up from his newspaper.
"Listen to this: Break with a Banshee by Gilderoy Lockhart, Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart, Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart, Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart, Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart, Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart, Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart. Those are all the books that Harry needs this year"
Remus put down his newspaper and stared at Sirius with a scandalized expression. "He didn't…"
"Who didn't do what?" Harry asked, walking into the lounge, completely ready to go to Diagon Alley.
"Have you looked at your booklist Harry?" Sirius asked, watching Ron amble into the room after him. The plan was to meet the Weasleys at Diagon Alley and let Ron go home with them. He'd stayed over the night before and by the looks of it, both Harry and Ron had spent most of the night talking.
"Yeah, Ron reckons the new teacher is probably a witch. You know that most women go nuts about him," Harry answered with a shrug.
Sirius smiled and agreed with Harry's statement, even though, deep down, he had a feeling that the defence professor was someone much worse than a fan.
OoOoOo
Sirius thought he might vomit. Remus had managed to escape, saying something about getting ice cream for Kura, but Alex had demanded that Sirius stay to help her carry the books. Harry was stood next to him and he looked like he was thinking the same. Gilderoy Lockhart was signing copies of his books in Flourish and Blott's and Alex and Molly had both decided they needed to go. Arthur was stood at the back of the shop, deep in conversation with the Grangers. Sirius wished more than anything that he could be stood with him. Instead, Fred, George and Percy had taken one look at what was happening, blanched, handed him the books they needed and left.
"Oh Sirius, stop moaning" Alex told him, furiously trying to wipe off the finger paint from her top.
"Moaning? I haven't said a word about being dumped with a load of second, fourth and sixth year textbooks. We haven't even picked up Lockhart's drivel yet"
Nearly all of the women in the line turned to glare at him. Then they recognized him and they looked away. Despite the fact that he'd been declared innocent eight years ago, most people were still quite wary of him. Once a madman, always a madman; seemed to be the view of most of the public. He'd found it annoying at first, but being the guardian of the Boy who Lived, it was actually quite useful now. Most people stayed away from them, which was useful when Harry was younger. Once people spoke to him, they soon worked out that he wasn't a madman and were generally much more friendly. Sirius found it quite funny really.
"Sirius! It's not drivel. Now shut up"
Sirius rolled his eyes as Lockhart walked out. He had shoulder length wavy hair, with a hat balanced jauntily on his hair. His robes matched his forget-me-not blue eyes and he grinned broadly at the crowd, showing dazzlingly white teeth. Sirius tried not to laugh as the entire crowd of women began to clap and gasp at his entrance. Sirius had to step on Ron's toe to stop him sniggering. Ron stopped sniggering anyway when a grumpy looking photographer trod on his foot to try and get the perfect picture.
Gilderoy Lockhart still heard Ron and he looked up, a frown on his face. The frown quickly turned into a dazzling grin when he spotted who was stood on Ron's other side. "It can't be Harry Potter?"
The crowd parted and before Sirius could do anything, Lockhart had snaked out an arm and was dragging Harry to the front. Sirius was sure you could have fried an egg on Harry's face as the crowd applauded and the photographer went mad with the camera.
"Nice big smile, Harry. Together, you and I are worth the front page."
Sirius rolled his eyes again and shot Harry an apologetic look. He couldn't think of a way to get Harry out of this mess without doing something stupid. Lockhart let go of Harry's hand and he tried to sneak back to Sirius' side. It didn't work. Lockhart threw his arm around Harry's shoulder and pulled him to his side again.
Lockhart waved for quiet. "Ladies and gentlemen. What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time! When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography — which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge —"
Lockhart waited while the crowd applauded and then he carried on. "He had no idea, that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
Sirius face palmed himself. He'd never even met the man, and yet he already knew that he was a prat. He'd probably spend the whole year going on about his 'adventures', instead of actually teaching them anything. He was going to be an awful teacher. Aside from Harry and Ron, who both looked horrified, he seemed to be the only person who thought that. The rest of the crowd were clapping and cheering as Lockhart handed Harry the entire works of Gilderoy Lockhart. Still blushing, Harry walked over to Ginny and tipped the books into her cauldron.
Sirius smiled slightly, Harry was such a good kid. He knew for a fact that the giving of those books would make the Weasleys trip to Diagon Alley substantially easier. The smile slid off his face when he recognized the blonde boy talking to Harry. Laden with heavy books, Sirius didn't get there quick enough to stop Arthur from launching himself at Lucius Malfoy. He couldn't exactly blame him for doing it, but as an auror he thought he should do something. He set the books down and waded over to pull Arthur off of Lucius.
Lucius climbed to his feet angrily, a book from Ginny's cauldron still in his hand. He practically threw it at her, a malicious sneer on his face. "Here, girl — take your book — it's the best your father can give you — Ah, Sirius… what a pleasant surprise"
Sirius looked at him in disgust. He'd known Lucius for as long as he could remember, and he'd never liked the greasy prat. Especially not after he'd become a death eater. Lucius Malfoy was everything Sirius hated most about pure blood fanatics. "As an auror, I should warn you that insulting people in front of me probably isn't the wisest ideea, or I'll be forced to do something, and you know how much I'd hate to do that"
"Indeed?" Lucius asked, a slim blonde eyebrow raised. "Well then, I best leave you to your…friends. Good day" Lucius grabbed his sons shoulder and led him out of the shop, sparing one last contemptuous look at their group.
Sirius glared after him. The problem with talking to Lucius was that everything was double edged, and there was always a hint of sarcasm in anything either of them said. It had always been that way. Sirius sighed and turned to a rather sheepish looking Arthur. "Not that I'm saying he didn't deserve it, but you probably should have ignored him. Everyone that matters already knows he's a prat. Come on, we'll get the books and go"
Molly was beside herself with anger. "A fine example to set for your children… brawling in public… what Gilderoy Lockhart must've thought —"
"He was pleased," said Ron. "Didn't you hear him as we were leaving? He was asking that bloke from the Daily Prophet if he'd be able to work the fight into his report — said it was all publicity —"
OoOoOo
They weren't as organized this year as they were last year. Sirius blamed it on Alex not being there. The teachers normally had a last minute staff meeting before the students arrived, so Alex had to leave. She'd be back after the feast, but it wasn't the same. Sirius knew they were running late when they ran into the Weasleys. Percy, Arthur, the twins, Molly and Ginny all walked through the barrier. Sirius pushed Harry and Ron forward and the two of them broke into a run.
CRASH!
Both trolleys smashed into the brick wall and bounced backwards, throwing Ron headfirst over his trolley and Harry to the ground. Remus raced forward to help them up and check they were OK, but Sirius raced to the barrier, one arm holding Kura. He placed a hand on the brick wall and pushed. Nothing. The barrier had sealed itself. It wasn't even eleven o'clock. He pressed an ear to the barrier, but he couldn't hear a thing.
"What are we going to do? We're going to miss the train" Ron moaned, his eyes fixed on the clock that was slowly ticking towards 11 o'clock.
"Why can't we get through the barrier?"
"I don't know boys, but we're not going to panic. I'll send a message to Dumbledore, and to your parents Ron, and then we'll apparate to Hogsmeade. We can spend the day there and then you can meet everyone at the station. How does that sound?" Sirius asked calmly, wand already in hand as he prepared to send a patronus to the headmaster. Both boys nodded, still stunned by the barrier sealing itself.
Remus took Ron's hand and trunk, leaving Harry to take his trunk over to Sirius. Sirius took a deep breath and spun into the darkness.
OoOoOo
Sirius stood and waved as Harry and Ron climbed into the carriage. Sirius had sent their trunks ahead to the school, and the five of them had spent the day in Hogsmeade. Sirius was sure he'd probably spent more money than was morally right in Zonko's, but he had made them promise not to provoke Snape or McGonagall. He didn't need another stroppy letter from Snape telling them that Harry was arrogant, cruel and just like his father. It had taken the combined strength of both Alex and Remus to stop him from marching up to Hogwarts and cursing Snape himself.
"Can you imagine what would have happened if we hadn't been there?" Remus asked as soon as the carriages had gone.
Sirius laughed. "They probably would have done something stupid – like fly Arthur's car to the school"
"That does sound like them. They probably would have been killed though – the car is a Muggle object, and they don't work as soon as you get into the grounds," Remus said, smiling. Then the smile slid off his face. "Why do you think the barrier closed? You don't think it was that house elf that Harry was on about?"
Sirius paused, he hadn't even considered that. "if it was, it was a very stupid and dangerous plan. If we'd been earlier, it could have stopped about half the school getting on the train. Nah, it was probably just a malfunction"
At least, Sirius hoped it was. The alternative was too disturbing to think about.
AN: UNI'S FINISHED FOR CHRISTMAS! Ahem, yes, I now have lots of free time to write, so hopefully I'll be able to get loads done. Which is why I've put this chapter up now.
Please review?