Clare's POV
The last two months have taken such a toll on my emotional life. I can't keep up any more. My parents' fighting has calmed down, which is wonderful. They actually made an effort to fix their relationship, thanks to me and Eli's handy work. But that was the least of my worries now. A week after the first movie night at Eli's, Alli had told me something shocking. Zane had come over the night of the movies and told Alli how I felt about me. Zane had been in love with me for a long time, but was scared to tell me. In all honesty, I didn't believe it when she first told me.
I thought the whole concept was insane until I realized, I was in the same predicament that Zane was only a year ago. When Zane went out with Jessica Doherty in his grade ten year, I was incredibly jealous of them being with each other. I liked Zane so much when I was a grade nine, but I never thought he would date someone who was almost a year younger than him. Plus I was one of his best friends! It just seemed impossible to me, for us to get together. I always felt sick when he was around me with Jessica, I didn't even want to associate myself with them. And when they broke up six months later, I was so ecstatic. Me, him, and Alli were inseparable, though when Zane were to make "moves" on me around Alli, I just brushed them off. I didn't want Alli to know what was going on. I also didn't want her to feel left out either. I guess Zane thought in return was that I was brushing him off completely, which wasn't what I was trying to throw out there.
That night, I thought over my feelings about Zane, again and again. He has been there through everything with me, and I really cared about him, and since Alli told me about her talk with him, I knew that he cared for me in the same way.
Ever since then, I've been going back and forth between Zane and Eli. Whenever I was with Eli, I tried not to talk about Zane, but it was inevitable. Eli had asked me out just last month, and I had accepted. But my feelings for Zane only grew stronger. Me and Eli's relationship got stronger by the day, but his attitude and actions were less than pleasing. Adam had told me about how bitter he was becoming and I couldn't possibly see Eli get that way.
But today, I was a complete and total wreck. I had made up my mind with who I wanted to be with, but I just had to tell Eli and get it off of my chest. I had called both guys to come over and talk about the whole thing, hoping that we can resolve the issue in a calm manner. Great.. Here we go. I thought as Eli pulled up to me. He carefully got out of the car and ran up to me, giving me a hug. "Why are you looking so glum, Blue Eyes?" he asked, sounding nervous. I was silent. I didn't know where to start. And Zane wasn't even here. "I called Zane over here... But he hasn't shown up yet. I needed to talk to you both," I squeaked. I was so close to the verge of tears, it was unreal.
"What do you need to talk to us about, Clare? Please. Tell me," Eli urged as he grabbed my hand in the act of comfort. Just then, I broke down. "Eli, I'm so sorry, but I don't have feeling for you like I do for Zane." He dropped my hand and turned his back to me in frustration. "I can't believe this!" He shouted, spinning back to face me. His brilliant green eyes were shining differently than the other times that I've seen him. "Eli, I'm sorry. So sorry," I cried.