Chapter 21

Sam was bleary eyed and weary when he came downstairs later in the morning. He listened to be sure Missouri was up before putting on his clothes and venturing down to the kitchen.

"Sam..." she said looking up when he stepped into the room. Her brow creased as she took in his appearance and turned to pour a cup of coffee for him. She added sugar and cream like he took it and set it at his hand. "Oh honey, seems you didn't have a good night did you?" she questioned. She didn't need to read his mind to know that. Missouri made it a point not to read either of the brother's thoughts since she didn't want to invade their privacy or treat them like one of her customers. But she could read them in other ways and Sam was not doing very well.

"Didn't sleep that much." Sam mumbled as he wrapped a hand around the cup and brought it to his lips. He sipped on the strong, dark liquid hoping the caffeine would jolt him awake.

"Let me fix you some breakfast and we'll relax on the deck in the sun before it gets too warm." she told him getting back up to start some breakfast.

"Don't go to any trouble Missouri, I'm not really hungry."

"Nonsense, you need to eat Sam Winchester!" she chastised him in her soft, lyrical voice. "You need to keep your strength up and you can't do that by starving yourself."

Sam didn't say anything knowing it wouldn't do any good to argue with her and listened as she hummed to herself while she cooked. He let his shoulder slump forward as he nursed his coffee, sipping on it to keep his thoughts from going where he didn't want them to. He didn't hear Missouri ask him how he wanted his eggs as he tuned everything around him out.

When Sam didn't answer her, Missouri didn't ask again. She gave him a worried look, knowing something big had happened with Dean but was going to let Sam tell her in his own time. She didn't want to press him if he wasn't ready since it might do more harm than good. She broke the eggs into a bowl and added a little spice and milk before whisking them. When the pan was hot, she poured the mixture into it letting it bubble up as it cooked. She turned the sausage patties as the eggs cooked and checked the toast in the toaster over before stirring the eggs to finish cooking them. She made up two plates with the food and took them to the table. Missouri pulled a small bowl of fruit from the fridge along with some homemade jam for the toast.

"I want you to eat young man." she told him breaking Sam's trance when she sat juice down by his plate.

"It looks good Missouri." Sam said, trying to smile but not doing a good job of it. He picked up his fork and picked up a bite of egg moving it to his mouth to eat it. He was sure it was good, but everything tasted bland and tasteless to him. He tried to eat enough to appease her before stopping, not wanting to press his luck.

"Why don't you go sit outside and enjoy the sunshine? We won't have many more nice days like this, fall is going to come in rainy and cold." she said getting up to take their plates to the sink. "I'll just clean up in here and I'll be out."

"Let me help..." he started.

"I got this, wasn't much dirtied just the two of us. Now go on with you." she insisted shooing him toward the back door.

spn

The air was warm as the sun shone brightly in the morning hours. Sam moved to a couple of chairs positioned to catch the sun as it rose higher in the sky and sat down. He leaned back and let the rays warm his face. It felt good and relaxed him some. It wasn't long before he heard the back door open and close and felt Missouri's presence as she took a seat beside him. She remained quiet as they sat there enjoying the last of the summer days.

"I saw Dean." Sam finally said quietly breaking the silence between them.

"So he's alive?" she asked hoping to encourage him to continue talking.

"When they killed Dick Roman they got thrown into Purgatory with him." Sam tried to explain.

"Oh my goodness those pour souls." she whispered knowing enough about Purgatory to know it was not a place you wanted to go.

"Dean came back, but I don't know what happened to Cas." Sam continued. "When he got back he tried to find me and finally tracked me down, but he didn't contact me. I found out months later that he was alive and back. Something's changed in him Missouri." Sam said; his words laced with pain and heartache.

"You know Sam being in a place like that would change a person." she said trying to be reasonable.

"No this is something different..." Sam said shaking his head as he sat up and looked at her. "He was so cold and distant...Uncaring...If you had seen him...I don't know what happened to him there he wouldn't tell me. Now I dream of Cas being there and he needs my help." Sam stopped talking and stared down at his clenched hands, forcing them to open. "He told me to stop looking for him. He took the Impala and left..."

"But there's more isn't there?" she asked seeing something was still troubling him.

"I hit a dog..." he whispered remembering back to his first meeting with Amelia.

Missouri frowned with his words not understanding the meaning of them and waited patiently for him to continue his story. It was one only he could tell since she didn't want to invade his thoughts to see more.

"I took him to a vet and ended up keeping him and staying in the town. I met Amelia there...We both had our reasons for running and wanting to disappear. I fell in love with her, but circumstances changed...What we both thought we had lost was found. I had to find Dean. Find out why he didn't contact me when he had a chance." Sam said hoarsely, trying not to break. "Now...I hear Cas in my dreams..."

"So we need to find a way to get Cas back." Missouri stated as she mulled over their options.

"That's all I know to do." Sam whispered sadly blinking back the tears. "I honestly think if I go looking for Dean again he will kill me."

"Oh honey..." she cooed to him reaching over to take his hand in hers and hold it tightly. She had never seen anything strong enough to come between the brothers and knew whatever was happening to Dean had to be big. She could feel the immense inner turmoil in Sam that was drowning him. "Why don't you stay out here a while longer child, I've got some research to do."

Sam leaned back in the lounge chair and looked out into the yard as he sniffed and wiped his eyes. He just nodded, not trusting his voice to answer her. He heard the door close behind him and tried to sort things out in his mind. This was not how he thought their reunion would ever go and he had to pull it together if he was going to help his brother and Cas. There had to be something he could do.

spn

Sam pulled his cell from his pocket and pulled up his contacts to flip through them until he stopped on a name. His finger hovered over it for a few seconds before pressing the name and dialing the number.

He listened to it ring and waited for someone to answer.

"It's your dime, spill it." a female voice said.

"Charlie, it's Sam." he said offering a small smile just hearing his voice.

"Sam! Hey dude, what's shaking?"

"I need your help again." he said hesitatingly.

"You want me to find your brother." she answered before he could continue.

"Yeah, but I need you to do it without him finding out. He can't know you're looking."

"Please...You do know who you're talking to Sam." she scoffed in disbelief. "He'll never see me coming."

"Will you call me back if you find him? Oh and he's driving the Impala now." Sam told her.

"Good to know and don't worry I'll find him." she assured Sam.

"Thanks Charlie, I owe you." he said earnestly.

"We're family, that's what we do. Later bitches." she said disconnecting the call.

Sam sighed happy to have someone else on his side and hoped she could at least find Dean. He sat back and prayed, "If you can hear me Cas don't give up hope...I'm going to try and find a way to get you back...We need you here, I need you..." he voice cracked and he cleared his throat swallowing the lump that had formed. He wondered what Missouri was doing and wished he could help and not sit here feeling useless. He squirmed and fidgeted around not able to let himself get comfortable and relax.

He got up and walked out into the yard looking at her herb gardens as he moved around the fenced in area. It was actually bigger than he thought and took his time studying the plants scattered throughout the yard. He thought he recognized some of them, but there were others he didn't have any idea what they were. Sam moved on back to the deck and decided to head inside and see if Missouri was finished with her research. He wasn't good at sitting around doing nothing, especially in a situation like this. There just had to be a way to get Cas back, find out what happened to Dean and fix it. He couldn't see any other plan right now. He wouldn't give up on his brother, not this time.

A/N: Will they find a way to get Cas back. Helps going to be coming and I think you will be surprised who it will be. Thank you to all who are taking this journey with me. To any guests who left reviews, thank you. I do like to know your thoughts... Hope you enjoyed... NC