* I own nothing of Rizzoli and Isles I just have the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.
c
Jane walked to her desk with a cup of coffee and some puzzling thoughts. It was Wednesday, three days after Susan had been found alive and well. Christmas was six days away and she was trying to recover from the roll-a-coaster ride that the month had turned out to be already.
"Do we have a case?" Frost asked as he saw the look on Jane's face.
"No why?"
"You had that I'm trying to figure out the world face on... so I figured we had a case."
"I do not have that kind of face."
"Yeah you do Jane... but only when we have a case." Korsak said agreeing with Frost.
"Who asked you people anyway." She said and walked out of the office and headed down to the morgue.
"I thought she would be all "Deck the Halls" now that Susan's been found but she's back to "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas."
"Give her some time Frost. I know that look and she is making up her mind on something important."
"Wonder what it is?"
"Not sure...just stay off her radar is all the advice I can give you."
"That's no fun."
"Maybe not... but it is safer." The older man said laughing.
XXXXX
Jane walked into Maura's office shutting the door behind her. She saw that the woman was on the phone and waited at the edge of her desk for the said call to end.
"Thank you governor and happy holidays to you as well." She said ending the call and looked up smiling at the woman standing in front of her. "Detective...what gives me the honor of your presence?" She asked standing up so she could be pulled into warm arms.
"I..." Jane tried but couldn't verbalize what she was feeling.
"Jane..." Maura now inquired concerned at what was wrong. Jane just pull her tighter into a hug. They stayed like that for several moments until the woman pulled back and headed for the door.
"Not that I'm complaining, and you are certainly welcome to my hugs anytime, but we will talk about this at some point Jane." She said letting her know she was being given a pass for the moment to gather her thoughts but an explanation would be required at some point. Jane smile at her girlfriend and shook her head in understanding and left.
She went back up to the squad room, "Korsak... I'm taking the day unless anything comes up. Are you okay with that?" She asked pulling her jacket from off her chair.
"Sure... there isn't anything going on here at the moment."
"Thanks I'll see you tomorrow then." She said as she left...leaving two puzzled men in her wake.
XXXXX
It was going on noon and Maura hadn't heard from Jane after the hug in her office earlier that morning. She decided to go up and see if the woman wanted to have lunch together but was surprised to learn that she had left for the day. Maura knew that Jane had to go and practice with Mamma Hattie for the service on Sunday later that night. She wondered if that had something to do with the woman's strange behavior or if it was some left over emotional baggage from the chaos that they had been through from the past two weeks.
Jane had spent every night that Susan was missing with her but had pulled away back to her apartment since the girl had been found. This had concerned her but not to the point of worry until now. She herself had to regroup and try to get back into the rhythm of everyday life again. She had found herself meditating longer and reflecting on things more than she would have before Susan's disappearance to help heal some emotions.
People would think that finding her alive would have put everything back in place but it hadn't. Yes they were glad the girl was safe and home but there still was the underline theme that had caused the girls disappearance in the first place. This is what had her the most concerned about Jane. She wasn't able to gauge how her girlfriend was handling the sting of rejection and stigma that was placed on their love for each other. They had really been in a blissful bubble since declaring their love. For the most part only a name being thrown towards them from time to time was the most discrimination they had endured. But this whole thing had brought the full volume of offence that some people took to them loving each other out into the open.
She went to the cafe to see if maybe Angela knew where the woman had gotten off to. But when she walked in she didn't see the woman at first and started to walk out until she heard, "Maura honey did you need something?" Angela asked as the woman turned and walked back up to the counter.
"Do you know where Jane is?"
"Up stairs... isn't she?"
"No...Korsak just informed me that she left for the day."
"She didn't tell you where she was going?"
"No...and that's not like her."
"Well it is Christmas and I did here her yesterday asking the air out lout if you could put something normal like a shirt in your letter to Santa." Angela said laughing remembering her daughter's frustration at reading Maura's letter to Santa.
"Well I've only written to him twice in my life. I realize that not everyone knows what Matryosha doll is but even most children know what kaleidoscopes are."
"You asked Santa for a kaleidoscope?"
"Yes..."
"Well...I'm going to tell you not to worry about Jane then. She is probably cursing traffic to get you a nice one at this very moment."
"You think so?" Maura asked with a child like smile on her face.
"Yes...and that's why she didn't tell you where she was going."
"Thank you Angela...that makes me feel so much better. I was concerned it had to do with all the nastiness around what happened with Susan." She said as she hugged the woman and left.
Angela waited till Maura was gone, "I'm leaving for the day Mr. Stanley. I'll see you tomorrow." She said as she was focused on going to the place where she thought Jane had gone.
XXXXX
Jane found herself sitting in a a pew of the church she grew up in after walking for hours around Boston. She sat there and replayed the events of the last two weeks then the whole past year with Maura. She respected God but really didn't care for religion that much. She thought about how her life had changed so much over the last year and yet it hadn't. She spent just as much time with Maura as she had before maybe even more.
She thought back to telling the twins last year that she would one day marry Maura but she still hadn't purposed. "Is it because I also have misgivings about God accepting mine and Maura's love for each other?" Then another thought hit her like a ton of bricks, "I grew up in this church and learned to believe in You here but I wouldn't be allowed to get married here to the one I love because she is a woman. But Your a God of love..."
"Mind if I sit with you a bit?" Angela asked her daughter as she slid into the pew behind her.
"How did you..."
"You never come to church on your own unless you are trying to figure out something in your life."
"Well yeah...I thought that was the point of church."
"Don't get sassy with me...Missy."
"Sorry ma..."
"The shooting bothering you honey?"
"No...that was just a sad kid and an old sad man in a really mixed up family."
"Yeah, I know." She said with a sad face. "Then what has you pondering your world on this hard church bench?"
"You know they are hard." She said looking down at it. "My butt is numb." She said shifting around trying to get comfortable.
"I think it's part of the penitence process."
"I'll have to agree with you on that one." She said giving a painful look.
"Jane..." The woman said giving her "a tell me what's going on" mother look.
"I don't know ma...everything has gotten real all of a sudden."
"Real...how?"
"Everything has been great with Maura and me this past year and I was thinking about asking her to make it permanent by getting married. Then all hell broke lose and I see what my family might have to go through because I love her. I don't want you going through that."
"Jane...do you love Maura enough to want to spend the rest of your life with her?"
"Yes..."
"Then there shouldn't be a problem honey."
"How can you say that? We are sitting in the church that I grew up in and they won't even let us get married here."
"Jane...you grew up coming to this church but the building doesn't define who you are...your belief does. And besides you want to get married at Fenway on the pitchers mound anyway."
Jane got a glassy look in her eyes for a moment and smiled but lost it quickly, "Yeah...that's not happening if I marry Maura. I couldn't ask her to do that in the heels that she wears and her dress would get dirty. I would never live that down." She said half laughing.
"I think Maura loves you so much that she would marry you anywhere."
"You really think so?"
"I do...now you might want to go and find that kaleidoscope she asked for since that's where I convinced her you probably went when she asked."
"Yeah...and then there's that." Jane said rolling her eyes. "What grown woman asks for a kaleidoscope?" Jane asked shaking her head.
"One that just started writing to Santa two years ago. She writes what she would have if she believed in him when she was a child."
Jane looked at her smiling mother, "Point taken...but where in the hell do you get one?"
"Language Missy..." She said looking around reminding Jane of where she was.
"Sorry..." She apologizing and looking around too like a lightening bolt was about to strike her from somewhere.
"Why don't you just google it."
"That's perfect...google a Christmas gift for a google mouth." She said as they both left the church laughing.
okay there is one more chapter if not two to this story.