All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.

No copyright infringement is intended.

HUGE thanks to my betas and pre-readers, Twimom817, EdwardsMyObsession1971 and GillianAubrey without them – this wouldn't be worth reading.

**Just a warning … this chapter isn't beta'd … all mistakes are mine.**

Learning to Live

Chapter Twenty-One

Edward

Bella looked exhausted and more than defeated as she quietly announced that she was going to lie down. And while I had everyone intention on coaxing her to eat something, I knew she needed rest.

For a woman who always seemed to be so full of life, Bella had never looked as small as she did sitting in front of her son's grave. My heart ached for her as she explained what happened to cause her son and parents deaths. No parent should have to bury their child and their parents on the same day.

I understood where Bella was at though – she was trying to hold herself together as her memories kicked her ass on a daily basis. Losing a wife who treated me as if I were nothing was inconsequential compared to Bella losing her own flesh and blood.

I watched warily as Bella ascended the stairs. Each step seeming heavier than the last. The click of her bedroom door snapped me out of my stupor. I checked around the kitchen and found the ingredients for Chicken Soup. I hummed to myself as I worked chopping vegetable and set the chicken to simmer. Once everything was cooking nicely, I decided to call my mom. I'd told her about Bella asking me to go to Denver when I spoke to her the night before and she asked me to call her when we got back.

"Hi, Sweetheart. How is Bella?"

"She's … resting. I hope, anyway. Today was pretty brutal on her."

"I can only imagine."

"Bella told me everything, Mom. About her son, her parents, and her ex-husband."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I know it wasn't the easiest thing to hear. When you took her home after Thanksgiving dinner, I cried into your father's chest for hours. I was completely heartbroken for her. Bella doesn't deserve any of it. Poor sweet, darling girl."

"Mom," I groaned.

"Are you staying with her? Tell me you didn't leave her alone."

"Of course I didn't leave her alone. She's in no shape to be by herself."

"Thank you, sweetheart. I'll call in the morning to see how she is."

We talked for a few more minutes before I disconnected the call. While the soup cooked, I putzed around the house. I decided to make sure that there was plenty of firewood. It turned out there wasn't much left and I cursed myself for not having checked it earlier. I started looking around Bella's property and found exactly what I needed. I found an axe in the shed, and set to work. Darkness had already set in, but with the help of the lights that Emmett insisted on, I didn't have any problems seeing what I was doing. With every swing of the axe, my mind and heart grew anxious. Satisfied that I had enough firewood for the night, I carried it into the house. The soup was still simmering, and I added in the noodles before going upstairs to check in on Bella.

She was curled up on the bed, facing away from the door. I could hear her quiet sobs as I stepped into the room.

"Bella?"

"Please don't come in here, Edward," She sniffled. "You don't need to see me like this."

"Bella, you've seen me at my worst. I'm not going to run at the sight of your tears. I didn't run earlier, did I? I know you're hurting and I want to be here for you."

"You deserve more, Edward. You deserve a family, Edward, and I don't think that I can give you that."

"Whoa, Beautiful. We have to learn to walk before we can run. We're going to have to learn to trust each other. I know we're working on it, but it's not going to happen overnight."

"But you deserve more, Edward. More than I can give."

"You don't know that, Bella," I said softly, kneeling beside her. "Let me decide what I deserve, okay?"

Bella squeezed her eyes shut and her tears poured down her face. I did my best to wipe them away, but my efforts were useless.

"Don't cry, Beautiful. Please? You're killin' me. What can I do for you, Bella?"

"G-g-go," She whispered. "Just g-go."

"You want me to leave?"

Bella nodded.

"I want to be alone."

"Fair enough. I made you some soup. Holler when you're ready for it and I'll bring it up."

"You don't have to do that, Edward. I'm not an invalid. Besides, I asked you to leave. I didn't mean for you to merely leave the room."

Bella's voice was as cold as ice, and I pulled away quickly. Her words stung.

"I didn't say you were an invalid, Bella. I wanted to do something for you, but since you want me to go – I'll go. Will you be all right by yourself?"

I couldn't help but worry about her.

"I'll be fine. I just need time and … space."

"Okay. If you need anything, you know where to find me."

"Thank you," she whispered. "Edward, I'm sorry for snapping. I know you're only trying to help. Today … sucked."

"I know it did, Beautiful. When you're ready, I'll be here."

I pressed my lips gently to her forehead and left her to herself. The minute I walked out the front door, I felt a pain in my chest. My heart ached at the thought of leaving Bella so defeated and heartbroken, but shy of bringing her son and parents back, there was nothing I could do.

A/N: A little shorter than usual, but I thought it would be important to check in on Edward's thoughts here …. Sorry this is a little later than usual … spent my day at the Vet's office again *sigh*

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