Disclaimer: I make no profit from this. The Lost characters and universe do not belong to me.

A/N: This story started out as an RP on a forum I visit. This is the part that I wrote for the RP. Yes the plot jumps around and yes it is full of drama like a soap opera, but that is why I love it. Credit also goes to my fellow writers; tigerlilly, benlinusisagoodguy, and fearandloathin for their input and genius characters.

Chapter 21

Mel crept into the quiet room, careful not to wake William up.

She pulled open the drawer to the desk and pulled out Ben's journal. She turned to the passage she had first read two days ago. Ben had written it two days before Ethan brought her to the island.

Ethan will be arriving with Mel any day now. I must admit, I am a touch excited about this acquisition. I know this isn't the first time we have used his method but I feel this will be a turning point for the island. Most of the thanks go to Ethan of course, who is not only a gifted surgeon, but a brilliant actor as well. He tells me he thinks he is truly in love with the girl, but I know that once he returns to his normal life on the island he will forget about her just as he did the last one.

Mel slammed the book shut unable to read anymore. She wondered why Ben had told her that she would enjoy what was written in his journal. Did he truly think she would find it amusing or was he finally willing to tell her the whole truth?

Mel watched the explosion again on the monitors. She played the footage of John Locke blowing up the submarine over and over again. If there was any hope before of getting off the island, there sure wasn't any now.

"What is the point of it all Richard?" she asked.

Richard had come to see her at the Hydra the day after the explosion.

"The point of what?" he asked.

"The island. I understand why I was brought here in the first place but I'm having a hard time seeing what purpose I am to serve now."

Richard smiled at her, "You're bored out of your mind over here aren't you?"

"Well, yes, in a way. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of William. But it seems that before I had a duty, something to do. Now I'm on an extended vacation."

"To be honest Mel, I don't think Jacob has a definite plan for you yet. You've been through a lot in a short amount of time. I think he's giving you a break."

"I guess you're right. I should enjoy it shouldn't I?" Mel smiled at Richard.

Richard stood up to leave, "I better be getting back."

"How is he?" Mel asked suddenly.

Richard didn't need to ask who she meant, "He is recovering nicely. Having the doctor has helped. Though this John Locke business has put some un-needed stress on him. He's handling it."

"Good." Mel nodded. "What about Zoe?"

He chuckled, "Ben was not happy about you letting her go. In fact, I'm supposed to be over here reaming you out because of it. But, I think we can skip that. Zoe made it back to the survivor's camp."

"Good for her." Mel said.

"I'll come again in a few days?" Richard promised as he was leaving.

"Okay, thanks Richard." Mel said as she watched him go then turned back to the monitors again to watch over the Hydra.

Mel wiped away a tear as is fell down her face. She kept reading.

It's been remarkably easy to blind Mel to my true intentions. I think even before Ethan died she was beginning to warm to me. Yes, I did go out of my way to frighten and intimidate her. But I believe that only made her stronger.

Asking her to move in to the house with myself and Alex was a last second idea. It has paid off more than I could have imagined. She became comfortable with me almost instantly and because of it began to align her allegiance with my own. After Ethan died and I took her baby away from her she needed someone to be with her. I've grabbed the opportunity and don't plan to let it go.

Mel flipped a few pages.

I've come up with a plan for Mel. It is perfect for her talents. In the time I have spent with her I almost feel as if I have come under her spell. She has a way and endearing herself to you, she is fiercely independent but I find myself wanting to protect her. She is remarkable. Because of this I have decided that she will go to the survivors. Maybe she will succeed where Ethan did not. I have assigned her to Desmond Hume. I'm sure she'll have him falling for her within the week.

Mel was walking William around the Hydra when Isabel approached her. She was holding a radio.

Mel didn't need to ask, "No." she said firmly.

"He wants to speak with you." Isabel insisted.

"I don't care what he wants. I don't want to talk to him."

"Mel!" Isabel pleaded hopelessly.

"Fine!" said and took the radio. She gave William to Isabel. "Will you take him to my room please?"

Isabel and said yes and was off down the hall.

Mel took a deep breath before pushing the button on the radio, "What do you want?" she asked sharply.

"Hello dear." she heard Ben's voice.

"I'm not your dear."

"You were once." he countered.

"Not anymore."

"Very well. Mel, I have another mission for you."

"I'm not interested." Mel said as she leaned against the nearest wall.

"Why are you so suddenly against me Mel?" Ben asked.

"I've been reading your journal."

"And you haven't liked what you have read?"

"Did you really think I would?"

"Not at first, no. Have you finished it?"

"Not yet."

"You should before you start pulling the trigger." he told her.

"What do you want Ben?"

"We have left the village. Everyone. We are heading for the Temple."

"Why?"

"There have been complications here. Too many of the survivors know where the village is. The time has come to move, for the time being at least."

"Why didn't Isabel tell me?"

"I told her not too. I didn't want you to worry.

"I wouldn't have. You have plenty of people taking care of you now."

Ben sighed, "Mel, you told me to go. It was your choice to stay at the Hydra."

"I know that Ben. And it looks like I made the right decision. I would much rather be here then out in the jungle."

"I'm afraid that won't be the case for long. I must ask you to go into the jungle once again."

"No." Mel stated.

Ben was silent for a moment. "When I left and you told me you wouldn't be coming with me you promised me something. Do you remember what you said?"

Mel ran a hand through her hair, "Ben, please don't."

"You promised me that if I ever needed you, really needed you for something you would be there. Well, this is it Mel. I need you."

Mel bowed her head, "You never needed me. Not truly."

"Not true. I will send along the details with Richard tonight. You will begin tomorrow evening."

Mel didn't say anything.

"Mel?" Ben asked.

"What?" she whispered.

"Read the rest of the journal. Please."

Mel finished packing her small pack and set it in a chair in her room. Richard had already brought by Ben's instructions. She would be leaving tomorrow.

She took one last look around the room to make sure everything was in order.

She saw Ben's journal lying on the bed where she had left it. She remembered Ben asking her to finish it. She knew this would be her last chance.

She sat down on the bed and picked up the journal. She had learned many things she wished she hadn't by reading this.

She opened it to the last entry and began to read.

I will be leaving to return to the village tomorrow. Sophie will be coming with me but Mel will not. I find the idea of leaving her behind harder to take then it should be.

I have grown attached to having Mel by my side. Yes, at first our interaction was all an illusion. A farce to strengthen my leadership role. And it worked beautifully. But the thought of being without her, not benefiting from her practical advice or not getting to spend time with her and William, it doesn't feel right.

I realize that this was her decision to make and I think she is incredibly strong for making it. I think in another life, a life without distractions, we would have been perfectly suited for each other. But this isn't another life and Mel realized that even before I did. Mel and I are not meant to be and I find it hurts just a bit to write those words down.

Even though it was Mel's choice to stay behind and leave me to Sophie I still feel as if when I get on that boat tomorrow morning I will be abandoning her. I don't think that feeling will ever leave me.

Forgive me.

Goodbye Mel.

Ben

Once again Mel found tears in her eyes. It broke her heart to think about Ben's words. She didn't want to think about anything anymore. Unable to fight the tears, she lay down and cried herself to sleep.