It's Not Easy

A/N I Own Nothing Lyrics to It Isn't Being Me By One Life To Live Sung By Kristen Alderson..

Inspiration for some of this chapter came from reading You Get Burned Written By

pariswindspeed. Check that Story out it's under Hannah Montana and Sonny with A Chance cross over fics.

Demi p o v

" [Selena]- He won't even let me talk to him

Why won't Joe let me talk to him?

I just need to explain..

[Me]- I don't know Selena he won't even listen

To me ...he's being a total jerk right now

I've been trying to get a hold of him to

[Selena]- Why are guys such idiots?

She flopped down dramatically on the couch sighing as she pulled up her knees her head silently fell on a pillow on my couch. I could see the sadness in her eyes and wished with my whole heart that I could help her...but I had my own problems why wasn't Joe answering me? Maybe I should call him again.

With a quick glance I saw it was only 12:30 , I still had 20 minutes before I had to be onset again, Lena was now flipping through a magazine. Legs stretched out she was quite comfortable no need to bug her I thought as I pulled my cell out of my pocket .. Joe was going to get a piece of my mind once and for all...

Why did I set myself up for this though in the first place how could I be so stupid? Didn't I learn from the first two times he broke my heart shouldn't I have seen from what he did to Taylor?

Sighing I dialed his all too familiar number ...it rang and rang heck why was I even suspecting an answer? He would take one look at the Id and laugh...or maybe he was missing me as much as I was missing him..No ..he was the ever popular Joe Jonas he was probably just lodging by a pool somewhere surrounded by babes ready to do whatever and wherever..which brought me back to my original question why was I even going to bother? ..Answer cause my heart hadn't stopped feeling what it feel for him no matter how much someone hurts you betrays you you just can't forget everything that you have been through.. 5 rings..6..7 screw you Joe .I finally thought as I hung up screaming...which got Selena's attention..she came over her footsteps heavy..as she sat by me wrapping her arms around me telling me to relax...and focus on work..I laid my head on her shoulder and watched her as she twirled my hair making me smile in spite of everything...our eyes connected and held..

After she had gone back to her set to film I sat there and tried to block out the memories of Joe and I but they poured out like waves..from the moment we both walked onto the camp rock set..he was fooling around with Kevin and Nick he had on a wet suit his hair was soaked and hung in limp straws he had two straws up his nose and was acting like a seal yea he was being a dork and when he saw me and two of the other girls laughing he turned every shade of red possible which made me laugh of course he had to try make up some excuse he was using it as acting training yea right Joe I didn't believe him he got mad and stormed off demanding I be fired he didn't win that..then there was the way I was so nervous the first time we had to do a kissing scene I had NEVER kissed a guy on screen before Camp Rock was my first major production and even though he was still embarrassed he helped me feel so much at ease taking my hand and assuring me he would be gentle and wouldn't laugh...he talked to me all through the night...we ended up laughing at shared child hood memories...by the time we got to do that scene. I felt like I had known him forever so it was so much easier...then there was the late night hike into the hills we got lost thanks to him and ended up camping out for real oh man I was so pissed. I did not want to spend a night in the woods..we fought like crazy we out ran a bear which I had to fend off cause he was up a tree clinging to it praying for Mama to rescue him! Then amazingly he made a tent out of tree branches a blanket we had packed for a picnic and he made a fire from what he learned in boy scouts camp. I was shocked he had paid attention but he did it and I caught some fish in a nearby stream with a few mishaps but I did it ..we cooked the fish...I was soaked so he made me take off my clothes but he was a gentlemen and turned away so he didn't see..well he says he was I think he peaked ..he lent me a flannel shirt and we lay together under the stars warming each other with body heat and the fire...it was amazing ,sweet ...we were so nervous but we didn't kiss or anything we just talked and cuddled...

We were finally rescued by his dad and the director who chewed us out for wondering off but It was worth it...

Our first kiss happened much later we were cleaning out his mom's attic he was grounded for pushing Frankie so I sneaked in and helped him while his mom was out we ended up in a fight over a vacuum cleaner and he chased me with it I screamed like a girl he teased me. I reminded him I was a girl he said he noticed I was blushing like crazy and started laughing and snorted he thought it was cute I punched his arm he fell back and tripped over the vacuum and it busted open dust everywhere we were covered he pulled me down. I sneezed and he went to brush my lips off and I fell on him pulling him close and I was about to sneeze again so he pushed his lips to me to stop me and we kissed for a full three minutes.

Then his mom came in and grounded him called mine and I was grounded I blamed him he blamed me we didn't see each other for three months cause of our busy agendas but when we did we picked up dating...then there were the ugly fights Nick dumpened Miles after he got his fame and cheated on her with Lena. Miley and Mandy dished Selena and I so Jonas dished her. I didn't know miles well then but I felt for her in away to be called out publicly when he was the one who broke up with her . I stuck by Lena cause she is my bestie for ever and always but I didn't like the way Nick treated Miley even when he went with Lena . He was very immature and she didn't deserve that he ridiculed her dished her in magazines he made her feel like a piece of trash, and Joe stuck by him he would join in often times he would lead the way all the while telling Miley he loved her like a little sister..lies..but what could I do? I was trying to make it and that meant doing anything right? No matter the cost..we broke up last year we were just to busy and after Nick dumped Lena , it was too hard to be with him while they dished her...then we made up and they made up with Lena and miles and it went well for three months till they got the show they craved and dropped all 3 of us worse Joe dumped me by text I was devastated which is when I started talking to miles... and saw what a sweet generous person she is...so why did I think this time would be different?

Whip my hair back and forth..

My cell buzzed to life I stretched out startled as I grabbed my cell surprised to see it was Kevin calling me.

[Me]- Hello?

[Kevin]- Demi

[Me]- Uh Yea you called me you should know who you calling

[Kevin]- Ever lovely to talk to you as well

[Me]- What did you want I'm not in the mood to play games

[Kevin]- Joe asked me to to call you

His phone isn't working right ..

My heart picked up speed maybe he did want to talk after all ..my mouth felt dry as I tried to swallow

[Me]- What is it Kevin?

Silence filled the air as I felt dizzy …

[Me]- Hello?

Kevin come on quit playing games man

What is this about?

[Joe]- It's not Kevin and I'm done playing Demi

That's why I'm calling

My heart lifted maybe he was ready to grow up stop playing games stop letting others live his life like Nick..

[Joe]-Were over Demi stop calling me stop begging me

To take you back..

Tell Selena to accept the fact that

Nick is done with her lying cheating butt

And deal with it

My heart felt like it was being ripped out I fought back the tears..I could barely choke it out

[Joe]-One more thing Demi

[Me]-What?

[Joe]- Stay the hell out of my life

My heart shattered as I heard the boys laugh..then the line went dead...my tears over flowed...

I was beyond pissed I mean how heartless could someone be? My legs were twitching and felt heavy My hands were shaking I wanted to hurt them so bad but what could I do?

Then it dawned on me what would Taylor do? Oh yea write a song...

I picked up my computer and started to let lose..

~~I can almost see it Joe us together like old times you holding my hands telling me to hold my head up high..that we can get through anything as long as we had faith in ourselves in our dreams and in each other..was it just another lie? Or did you believe everything you said? If so where did it change how did it change WHY did You change? Did Fame get to you? What happened to the good little Catholic boy who believed in doing no harm who believed in respecting each other and following god's way? I just wanted to say that you are a lying little weasel a coward who can't act like a real man..you let others do your dirty work ...Face to face is too real for you...huh? You always have to say everything on the phone what happened to all your words when were face to face?

Why can't you just man up and stop getting involved in all the petty drama around us maybe then we could work it out but NO you always chose drama over what's real you want to say it's my fault cause I have the guts to stay by my friends but I wanted to make it work. I didn't care about the damn drama. I was willing to risk it all for you cause I can admit that I love you..but you can't can you every time someone asked you all you could do was shyly laugh and make some smart ass remark you can never say the words could you? Well I'm done now I guess the third time wasn't the charm was it? Our Love Story wasn't a fairy tail more like a nightmare. It isn't easy to say this Joesph Adams Jonas cause I love you.. But I refuse to be with a selfish little arrogant worm who can't use any muscle expect his lower one..Grow up Joe..

To Nick How could Someone Be So Damn cute and so stupid? God must of skipped over you in the decency department..God how many times did they cry over you? Were you really that damn blinded by your own reflection? Miley and Selena gave you everything! They loved you with their whole hearts they wanted to spend their lives with you and what did you do? Lie, betray ,cheat and steal..yes you stole their trust their innocence and their youth .I have never saw them cry so hard or so long over a boy..you have a talent for heartbreaking I guess you get that from your older brother yea Joe's a expert at that as well congrats on inheriting that trait..

There's so much I want to say to you but I can't cause you know this would look so bad and Disney would fire me and your not worth it...Letting down my fans so not worth it ...See unlike you two I care about my fans not just the fame and money..

I would love to tell you to drop dead pretty much like you told me to but I have more class then that..so instead I'll pray for you..

Yea I'll pray you get hit by a buss fall off the stage hit your head...get your heat broken the way you broke their hearts..I pray someone sells you out to the media ..I pray that fans turn on you and betray you blog about you ..I pray that you feel the embarrassment that they feel everyday when you see someone pointing at you that you think of every flaw you have and wonder which one did they see?

I pray that all your dreams crumble and that every fan see's what a fake you are..Most of all I pray to god that some day you wake up and see what a ass you are...and I pray it's not to late to change to make amends..oh yea and if that day happens I pray all your friends turn their backs on you just like you did..~~

By the time I was done it had become a letter a long angry letter that made me feel great I smiled as I pressed save document …

[Maddie]- Sis it's time their asking for you mom told me to stay

Here and wait till she can pick me up

[Me]- Okay thanks..

[Maddie]- Can I use your computer for school

Work?

[Me]-Yea sure just don't delete anything kay?

[Maddie]- Kay good luck sis

[Me]- Thanks

I sighed getting up

[Maddie]-You okay?

[Me]- Yea Joe Broke up with me

[Maddie]- He what!

[Me]- I have to go sweetie I'll tell you later

[Maddie]- He's a dog face

[Me]- Oh Maddie darlin you can always make me laugh

Thanks!

I grinned as I went out and shock my head..the set was a blur of everything as I went to mic up...Tiffany squealed as she came up going on about her up coming wedding. I listened half hearty but the pain from Joe was still fresh even after I got it all out I tried to force it out as my makeup was touched up my hair I managed to do it to as I got into character ...before I even knew it I was onset ready to preform my latest song..

Taking a deep breath I blocked out all the drama and just let the music flow through me..

It Isn't Easy Being Me

Tell me how you know when you think you know that you've reached the point

You're finally trying too hard it's that point

When you're going to sacrifice who you really are and you get lost caught up in talk

Why do I feel it's always me the one who's different?

Why am I outside of the tribe there's got to be more

It isn't easy to sit back watch from the sidelines

It isn't easy to hide all my feelings inside

Wondering if I've done the right thing or wrecked up my life

It isn't easy to be me sometimes

So I'll run fast turn left then I'll run some more

I've got to save my heart from what's hurt before and

I won't stop till I am sure that I'm out of your reach

No possibilities that you'll be hurting me

No more

It isn't easy to smile when I'm just feeling down

Or to say what I feel around everyone else

Want to throw out the rules but I'd so compromise

It isn't easy to be me sometimes oh,

How I wish that all my wishing would stop …