YOU CALL THIS KEEPING IN TOUCH?

Setting: 10-11 months after S09/E02 Loyalty

"Are you going to quit?" Jackie asked. "Wait, let me reword that. When are you going to quit?"

I didn't bother acting surprised. I looked at my sister and shrugged.

I would never complain about my job with the security company – the pay and benefits were good, the hours were decent, and at times it was interesting. But... Compared to the challenges of the Major Case Squad, my position as a security analyst was too tame, too predictable, too limited for me. I'd begun thinking of it as my interim job.

And there was one other tiny little issue: I missed Bobby. A lot. All the time.

It was amazing how many things set off a painful twinge: seeing a man tilt his head to the side; hearing anyone being called 'Bobby'; seeing a man write with his left hand; driving in the car alone and looking at the passenger who wasn't there.

Jackie and I were at a mall in New Jersey, doing early Christmas shopping. Now that Jonathan was in elementary school, and now that I had a somewhat normal job, it was easier to make time in our schedules for this tradition. Okay, I admit it: there were a few things I liked about my interim job.

She said, "At least you should take some time off and go to Germany."

"What!"

"Why not? Is your passport expired?"

I shook my head. "It's good for another five years. But I just started this job!"

"No, see, it's getting close to a year, and I know for a fact they gave you lots of vacation days. You're allowed to use more than a day for shopping, you know. What city is he in?"

No need to ask whom she was talking about. I said, "He moves around to different bases. The only one I remember is Stuttgart. He's..." I spread my arms. "He's in demand all over the country – pretty much everyone he interrogates opens up and spills his guts."

"Well, I'm sure they included vacation days in his contract, too," Jackie said. "I bet he'd come and meet you at the airport."

I shook my head. "Jackie, we hardly write to each other, and you're talking about me showing up on his doorstep?"

"Wait – I thought you guys... How often does he write?"

"He only writes back to me after I write to him, and it's just a few lines," I said. "If I don't write, neither does he."

She'd been looking at Lego sets, but she set down the box in her hand and turned with her hands on her hips. "And so you quit writing because he didn't write first?"

It was embarrassing to be caught in such junior high behavior – but when did correspondence become only my responsibility? I said, "Look, he's so successful over there, maybe they'll double his salary and keep him another year. For all I know he wants to stay."

"Oh geez, you are such an idiot!" Jackie hitched up her purse on her shoulder and pushed past me. "Come on, I need coffee to deal with this insanity."

She huffed all the way to the mall's food court. When we got settled at a table she squared off and took a deep breath, but I held up my hand.

"Jackie, I really don't want a lecture about me and Bobby. I know you always thought we should've gotten together, but it didn't work out that way. Okay?"

"Not really," she said, and then sighed. "All right, no lecture. But let me ask you some questions."

I rolled my eyes. There was no escaping this.

"Come on, Alex, you know I'm not just snooping! You know I love you, and I care about Bobby, too!"

She was right – I was being defensive and stupid and hostile. "Sorry," I said. "Go on, ask."

"Okay, so... Do you wish you were still working with him?"

"Yeah." I sipped my coffee to avoid looking her in the eye. "Very much."

She nodded. "At this job, or back with the police?"

"NYPD."

"Do you think they'd take you back?"

"Short answer: I'm not sure. I still have friends there, but Bobby and I kind of burned our bridges, you know? MCS is very different these days."

"What kind of different, and how do you know?" Jackie asked. She could have had a career as an interrogator.

"Uhh, I get a call now and then from a detective we worked with – Nichols. He likes to read our old case files, and calls me with questions. He never said anything specific, but I won't be surprised if he decides to move on."

Jackie pulled the lid off her coffee and stirred in another sugar packet. "Well, that might be good – maybe they miss you. You know Dad keeps up with news about your old department, right?"

"I try not to listen," I said, making a face.

"He thinks the new captain in there is angling for a spot in the Commissioner's office."

I shrugged. "It's amazing what a guy who sits on his butt, smoking and drinking, knows about One Police Plaza at the farthest end of the city." We both chuckled. "I admit, Dad has his secret sources, but the chances of both me and Bobby getting back into MCS... slim to none."

"But if things are changing, it's not impossible," Jackie said. "Detective Nichols would let you know if there was an opening, wouldn't he?"

"Where are we going with this?" I asked. "I mean, no one's chasing me down to come back to NYPD. And Bobby's in Germany..."

I didn't expect to choke up – an intense surge of emotion and longing caught me by surprise. I had to stop for a long moment.

"Alex, you okay?"

When I got myself under control I quietly said, "Maybe you're right about me taking some vacation time."

"Now you're talking! I'll bring in your mail and water your plants while you're gone!"

I had to laugh. "Geez, nothing like the bum's rush or anything! I did not say I was going to Germany!"

"Well, at least you can think about it," she said with her wickedest grin. "You know, go online and look at airline prices to Stuttgart."

I shook my head. "No promises – except that I'll email."

"Good! And when you write to Bobby – today! – tell him Hi from me and Mike and Jonny."

.