"Go away, Kakashi."
He ignores my order, sitting beside me. He doesn't speak, something I'm extremely grateful for. I keep my head buried in my knees, ignoring my shaking hands as though that would make the visible weakness disappear.
"You alright?"
"Just shut the fuck up, Kakashi," I order.
"You really have to stop swearing, Cashile," Kakashi said.
I couldn't help but snort.
"What did you expect to accomplish by sitting down on this bench with me?" I ask, irritated that he hadn't walked away yet.
"Cashile, are you okay-"
"Let's get back to training," I stood abruptly, startling Kakashi.
"Cashile...?" Kakashi trailed off softly.
"Let's go."
I woke with a start.
"What," I gasp, shooting upright, hair sticking to my sweaty face. Terror courses through me, though the cause remained unknown.
"Shh, Shh Cashile," Kakashi murmured, reaching towards me from the side of my bed. I slap his hand away.
"I-what are you doing- oh, yeah, training, ANBU housing- but wait, why are you here?" The words tumble out of my mouth as my mind works overtime, trying to figure everything out.
"You were screaming," Kakashi said softly.
The information shocks through my mind. Oh. Immediately I tried to divert his attention. "Shouldn't you be with Sasuke?" I ask, "I hear his training is progressing well. You should be with him."
"Cashile, it's two in the morning. Sasuke's sleeping."
Again, that tone of voice, that look. It was such a mixture of emotions something I couldn't quite place.
"Well, there's still no reason for you to be here," I say.
"I just wanted to check up on your training," Kakashi murmurs.
"And do you do that for Naruto? Sakura?" I ask sharply.
"Cashile, that doesn't matte-"
"Just get out of here, Kakashi," I order firmly.
"Would you stop that?!" Kakashi exclaimed, "Stop pushing people away! We're only trying to help!"
"You people are perfectly useless," I hiss back.
"No, Cashile-"
"Fine, prove me otherwise," I challenge, trying my hardest to avoid the conversation, avoid the thoughts, "Make yourself useful and show me where the kitchen is."
He stares at me for a few extra seconds before sighing in defeat. "Come on," he beckons with a sigh.
I stand and follow, shoulders tense as the irritation courses through me. He opens a door and I walk through, greeted by a kitchen.
"Huh," I mumble, "You actually do have a kitchen."
"Sometimes ANBU don't have time to go home between mission. Thus the kitchen and housing areas," Kakashi explained.
"I already figured that out. You're wasting your breath," I snapped, rummaging through cupboards and the refrigerator as I try to figure out what to cook.
"What was the dream about?" Kakashi inquired.
I slammed the cupboard door shut, dropping some flour on the counter. "Don't remember," I reply shortly.
"Okay," Kakashi gives it up surprisingly easily. "What are you baking?"
"Brownies."
The silence falls thick and uncomfortable around us as I whisk the flour and cocoa together. After a half hour of mixing and stirring I put the brownies in the oven and sit at the table with Kakashi as I wait for the brownies to cook.
"What did you dream about?" Kakashi asked again.
"Pawn to d4," I respond easily.
"What?" He asks, confused.
"Pawn to d4," I repeat again, smirking.
"Oh. But wait, it's an advantage to start first in chess. I'll go first, with the same move as you," Understanding sparks in his eyes.
"Alright," I smirk, "Knight to f6."
"Pawn to c4. Are you going to tell me about the dream?"
"Pawn to e6. Are you going to tell me about where you got that sharingan eye?" I ask.
"No," Kakashi frowns.
"Exactly."
"Knight to c3."
"Bishop to b4," I smirk.
Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "Pawn to e3," he said.
We battled, having to imagine the board as our wills clashed across the chessboard. The tide of our conversation turned along with the battle. Sometimes Kakashi would sneak in a bashing blow and sometimes I would lash out, catching him by surprise.
"Bishop to d7," I say softly. "Checkmate."
Some small part of me was intensely disappointed by Kakashi's loss, by his failure to get me to tell him anything. But it was to be expected. I knew the game better than him, and I would never open up to anyone.
So why was I so upset?
The blaring alarm of the oven breaks our reverie, and I stand up, taking the brownies from the oven. I set the brownies on a wire rack to cool, breathing deeply as the steam spirals into my face. With my back turned to Kakashi I let the breath out slowly, willing my quivering hands to still and to quell my shaken nerves.
"Good game, Kakashi," I said quietly, never turning to face him. "Goodnight."
I turn and throw a knife at Kakashi, and watch emotionlessly as the shadow clone disappears. He was probably sleeping, or still training Sasuke. He had only sent a shadow clone.
My eyes were closed, but it was another night without sleep.
The birds chirped and the sun rose, signalling the start of a new day.
My mind still felt heavy, affected by the genjutsu, but I was physically fine. I was just enraged at Ibiki for trapping me inside of my own mind.
But he had succeeded in one thing.
Revealing my true weakness.
I picked myself up out of one of the many cots in ANBU housing and walked down to the kitchen.
The brownies that were warm and gooing with chocolate last night had hardened slightly.
I picked one up and chewed on the fudgy chocolate bread.
"That's your breakfast?"
"Ibiki." I greeted coldly, without turning around. "What of it?"
I could tell his impatience was growing quick. "You need proper nutrition to maintain your body, especially with all this training."
I finished the last bit of brownie and flicked the crumbs off my fingers. "I know my body better than anybody else. Don't tell me what to do."
He stomped over and grabbed my shirt with both hands , pulling me closer to his face. "Listen, Baka-"
Shadows cover the rage in my eyes. "Let. Go."
I expect him to lose it and punch me in the face. After all, he had done that before.
Instead, he releases me. "ANBU training ground 7 in five. It's the building on the right."
He walks away briskly.
I control my emotions in an instance. I had immediately grown so furious when Ibiki laid his hands on me. The emotions that coursed through me, the anger, the hate, made me feel... Powerful.
But out of control.
I couldn't decide if I loved the feeling or hated it.
I appear in front of the training grounds, face carefully held blank. Here we go again.
I was unprepared last time. This time, I knew what they were going to do to me.
I expected possibilities to fly around inside my head of how to counteract my being trapped inside my own mind. But nothing came to me.
I was stunned. Is this... What it felt like to be normal? To actually have to try to think? To think hard?
I couldn't let this drag me down though.
I would lose myself entirely if I let this build up into panic again.
I composed myself and walked inside the building.
It was slightly dark, and there was a chair in the middle of the room. The air held a tense feeling to it.
It was like an interrogation center. Well, I do suppose that was Ibiki's specialty.
I sensed a presence behind me and turned. "Sup, Ibiki."
He held a stern expression. Probably going to punish me for my attitude earlier.
"Sit down in the chair."
I sat without a smart remark to return. I was being trained, not training. He could decide to not train me at a moment's notice. I had to be smart.
"Prepare your mind. This won't be enjoyable." He said gravely.
"Just do it." I mutter impatiently. If he was going to trap me inside my own mind again, he might as well get it over with.
"Impatience will get you no where." Ibiki said, but none the less strapped my arms and ankles to the chair.
The room was dark and airy. The silence was deafening. Fear crept up in the back of my mind but my frustration pushed it back down.
'I'm smarter than him. I'll find a way to defeat this weakness.' I thought to myself.
He leaned his hand forward and I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind as his finger tips settled on the top of my head.
Everything went black.
A gasp catches in my throat and my neck lifts, raising my head up below it.
Grey walls surround me. I'm chained to a horizontal rocky wall, the pebbles digging into my back and rubbing against my shoulder blades.
My head settled on the harsh surface and I flinched.
"Need a pillow?" It was Ibiki, asking me in a taunting voice.
Well.. It was Ibiki, but it wasn't. This Ibiki had cold eyes, with not a hint of goodness or light. They held no emotion, not even anger.
He briefly kind of reminded me of myself.
I stayed silent, analyzing the situation. Well.. I wasn't in my own mind.
I concentrated my chakra in my head and muttered, "release."
Nothing happened. I narrowed my eyes at the chains. Chakra restraints? No..
I tugged at them a little. My hands barely moved a centimeter.
"Tch." I said in frustration.
Ibiki smirked in front of me. "Now that you know you can't escape, and that you're stuck with me here until I decide to let you go, how about we get to the good part?"
A table was raised from beneath the ground. On it held a number of various items ranging from jagged bladed swords to vials of liquids most likely poisonous.
"Scared yet, brat?" Ibiki asked, picking up the jagged lined knife.
Saliva clogged my throat but I swallowed it down and resumed my normal composure. "It's just genjutsu."
The wall raises into a vertical position as Ibiki wills it too.
He blurs before my eyes and the knife sinks into my thigh within the next 3.2 seconds.
I jerk back into the pebbly wall and resist the urge to scream.
Ibiki closes in and holds my face straight so that we're making eye contact.
"Just genjutsu, eh?"
I gasp for breath. My body pulls me under but the chains force me upright. The pebbly surface makes my back ache.
It's been 8 hours 5 minutes and 43 seconds since I'd been pulled into this genjutsu.
"Let me enlighten you, brat." Ibiki says, grabbing a vicious looking green vile.
"Your physical body may not be affected, but I'm in your mind. I'm not damaging your body right now. I'm damaging your mind. Get it, brat? This is where your prized brilliance is stored."
My eyes widen... It was nonplausible.
Completely inconceivable.
Ibiki couldn't actually damage my mind, my brilliance... He couldn't. This was part of the torture. It had to be. Ibiki would never purposely permanently harm me. Maim, or seriously injure? Sure. But actually allowing harm to come to me... Would be illogical.
Ibiki squeezed the sides of my cheek, forcing my mouth open.
He drained the green liquid into my mouth and forced me to swallow it.
It was bitter. Sour. All things terrible. My stomach rejected it immediately and I brought it straight back up.
I received a hard blow to the head and started coughing violently.
"What do you want from me?" I asked passively, careful not to show my weakness but tempted to scream in anger. Why was he doing this to me?
He held my neck in a choking grip and leaned into my face.
"You know what I want." He growled.
I smirked. Of course. So we were
at square one again. He was still trying to break me, and with no restrictions this time, he just might be able to.
Or so he thought.
Ibiki took a long sword, and stabbed me. I yelled in pain and coughed blood, as the sword tore through organs inside of me. My insides felt shredded. "Wipe that smirk off of your face." He said angrily.
I began to numb the pain and retract inside of my mind, willing myself to not feel the pain.
But I couldn't.
Why couldn't I?
Of course.
I'm able to block it out in the real world, but inside here, I couldn't.
There was no escape for my mind inside of my mind.
No place to hide.
And the bastard probably knew that.
"Give up." Ibiki said. "Show me your true weakness."
I don't respond.
He walks up to me. "Last chance." He growled, grabbing my arm.
There was a 93% chance that he was serious about breaking it.
It's just a genjutsu, it's just a genjutsu, it's just a...
Bones snap.
And I scream.
Hey.
How'd you enjoy this chapter? A little chess match between Kakashi and Cashile, eh?
Did you enjoy this quick update? You got a little glimpse into Cashile's mind yeah?
Hope you enjoyed! COMMENT!
~gaara119
Hola! Es good? No Bueno? OKAY any of you guys can probably tell I'm not Mexican or anything Hispanic, unless tu espanol is worse than mine haha. Anyways, back to a language ya'll can understand, how did you like the chapter? Too much? Too little? Too harsh? Not enough? COMMENT! Besides, I'm trying to get Gaara119 to write the beginning of the next chapter and she got no motivator so hurry and comment so I can read her writing lol.
Thanks for all your support and your super fabulous comments that drown my eyes in tears of happiness and feels
~supermassiveblckhole
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Insomniac_Lullabies