Here is chapter 21, and it was literally one of the hardest ones to write, because its so different from the others in so many ways. I wish I didn't have school work to distract me though, because I probably should be getting on with that, but anyway.

There's not much to say this week, just keep reading because we will get the end one day (I hope). If you enjoyed this then follow/favorite to be alerted when I next upload, and leave a review to keep me motivated. Thanks!

Phil P.O.V

Jesus Christ, Dan.

His eyed had slid peacefully shut as he fell to sleep gracefully, leaving me in a humble of emotions. He had literally just remembered a memory for the first time since he had woken up, and that had torn me to shreds for many reasons.

First of all, I was crying. My eyes streamed heavily like water features in a garden. They were silent tears, and I wasn't even sure if Dr. Cooper had even noticed them yet. Yet they were there because of that memory. The memory I thought about each any every moment of the day that wasn't spent thinking about Dan now. It was so significant because I remembered it so clearly. It was the day that was just so perfect.

We played games all day that day. Mario Kart. Sims. You name it, we'd have played it. It was one of those lazy days, where we just chilled in our pyjamas and binged on random bits of food in our apartment; so pretty much a normal day. But this day was so perfect because it signified the last that I would ever see Dan like that. Happy and content. From that point on, he retracted more than normal socially, eventually from me too. And that was it; he spiralled into his cocoon of insecurities and loneliness by himself. And I felt so guilty.

So guilty.

Looking back on that memory was hard enough. Being reminded of it spontaneously by the culprit of its significance was so much worse. He seemed so naive and innocent; he really had no clue as to what really happened, and that hurt because I finally saw the man I had been waiting to see for weeks momentarily return to himself. It really hurt, knowing that there still was a chance that he could remain the empty shell he was, and that were still were such a long way from perfect. He still had a long way to go.

But at the same time, I smiled greatly like a big kid. I smiled because of the memory, and its significance, and how amazing it was to think about it, being happy without a care in the world. I hadn't smiled like this in a long time, and all because of the person who resurfaced the memory itself. Dan seemed to slowly coming back, and I could at last see the improvement, the start of him healing and getting better bit by bit.

Dan would be coming home soon.

The main reason I smiled was because of the utter perfection that day mirrored. It was just the lazy chill day we had, or the games, or even the thought of a memory that reflected something normal. It was that on that day, I admitted to myself and one other person something that would never be repeated to another soul. Not even the person it concerned.

I recoiled at the thought of PJ, but I knew that it was wrong to reject him so badly, seeing as he was the one I could talk to and the one who I knew for sure would understand me. His kind nature and thoughtful attitude assured more than any words that he was one to trust with anything.

And on that night, I admitted to PJ and myself that I was in love with this guy. His smile, and the chocolate eyes that made me melt. Everything around him was electric and made me feel so alive when he was around me.

Although I knew I could never talk about this to Dan (in fear of losing my electricity both physically and mentally), it made that night the one night I would never forget, would never see as anything else but perfect.

It was the night I fell in love with Dan.

I looked peacefully down at him, still smiling in a whirlwind of emotions. I was ready to answer his question, even though he wouldn't even hear it.

"Yes, that's how our life used to be."

A few hours had passed, and I had already left the hospital, after realizing that nothing would wake Dan from this slumber. I was assured and reassured by Dr. Cooper that he would be okay and I would "be immediately called if anything changes". She finished of by telling me to stop calling her by her last name and just to call her Bella. She felt that if we were going to see each other a lot, then it would be no use using formalities all the time.

It had gotten dark, and the cold wind was merciless in its task of freezing my face numb. I normally would call a taxi at this point, but I didn't feel the need for uncomfortable company and awkward one way conversations all the way home.

In fact, I wasn't even planning in going home. It felt so cold, and I couldn't bear the silence for longer than necessary, especially tonight.

I just planned to walk for a while, because even though the wind was unforgiving, it seemed to wipe away all the thoughts that made me feel too warm in the constantly heated hospital room Dan was in. it felt nicer than it did painfully. Plus I didn't really know where I was going, which meant I could just go where ever and learn where things are around here.

Feeling the lights shining on my face becoming too revealing, I rounded the corner, and walked down a much quieter street, where some lights quavered in the strong gales. Much better.

Among all things, this was one of them that I hadn't really been able to do. Such an underrated thing is walking, especially the type where your mind is wiped clean, and you feel yourself starting over again, no matter what time of the day it is. I was still in crutches, unfortunately, but since I was alone in my flat again, I had a lot of practice and had since managed a lot more independently. My hands were very sore from using them, but it was worth its while. Even my leg was finally feeling better.

It felt like moments since I first checked my phone at six o'clock. Yet when I pulled it out again, it was nearing nine o'clock, and I gasped in horror as I looked up and realised I had walked so far and not even realised how far I had ventured – or where. I was sat on a bench, where I had taken refugee from my throbbing leg and blistered hands, but I knew I couldn't have been there long. Feeling my heart hit my throat I jumped up and hobbled painfully down the unrecognisable road in panic. It wasn't long before I could hear cars going by.

Cars and water.

It must had taken a while for me to realised what the water meant, and possibly why I was here, but it all came rushing back to me. The dead end road, waste land with the broken fence, water rushing loudly over the edge of the wall. This was it. This was the place I needed to be.

I pulled my phone out and tapped furiously with my stinging, numb fingers, and headed straight for the one person I knew I could trust, and I knew would help me – apart from Dan of course. My finger hovered over the key board that slid on the screen. I didn't know what to put. If I was too nice, he'll just disregard me again, yet if I was too sharp, then he would hate me.

An idea popped into my head, and I typed quickly as I could.

Phil: we need to talk, I need your help right now.

Moments passed as my heart rate increased in fluctuations of nervousness.

Was this the right thing to do? Were they really the right person anymore? What if…

What if they didn't want this anymore?

My response was as fast as lightening as the phone buzzed in my hand.

PJ name flashed on the screen, asking me whether to answer or decline the call.

I walked forward.

Check out my other fan fiction which can be found over the same tags as this, on my profile, or by the name of Tell Me It's Not True. (Another PhanFiction)