The next day found the companion's camp strangely quiet. Hawke and Varric were still ensconced in their canvas bubble and Anders had only made an appearance for breakfast before disappearing inside the shared tent again, trying to hide the wild look in his eyes from the other men. Sebastian and Fenris had been sure to give the slightly-addled-darkspawn-tainted mage space as he came down from his high. Neither of them spoke as they rolled up their pallets. Once again, time had no meaning in the semi-dark chamber, so the men distracted themselves by cleaning their weapons.
Fenris' sharp ears caught the muffled whispers of the couple as they roused themselves from sleep. He controlled his facial expression with difficulty to keep Sebastian from becoming suspicious. He was careful to never let on with the other members how much of their "private" conversations he was actually aware of and he didn't want them to feel like he would betray their confidence, so instead he acted oblivious and swore to never breathe a word.
"Morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?" Hawke smiled at his concern.
"I did. I'm fine, Varric, really. Not even sore this morning. I think I was just worn out from the shock of the injury yesterday, but I feel good." The dwarf's stomach rumbled loudly, ruining the moment. Hawke stifled her giggles in the blanket while Varric's deep chuckle washed over her.
"Well, I guess that means it's time to eat." He cupped her face in his large hand, brushing the pad of his thumb across her cheekbone. "Don't do that to me, Katya. It was so bad that Sebastian wouldn't even let me see you until Anders was done."
She took his hand and moved it to her thigh. "But look Varric, not even a scar. I know you were terrified. I was too, when I saw you fly through the air the other day. Let's both promise to be more careful, but things like this will happen. Its part of the job description."
"I know it is. It's just hard to get over something like that so quickly. I really think Anders thought you were going to die. I've never seen him work so hard and long before."
Hawke furrowed her brow. "How much lyrium did he take?"
Varric gave her a meaningful look. "Enough." Hawke couldn't help feeling a little guilty for addling her friend when he was already vulnerable in the Deep Roads. The dwarf sat up and pulled his pack towards him, trying vainly to find a tunic that wasn't crusted with dirt and blood, but gave up with a weary sigh. "Come on. I'm sure that Broody and Choir Boy have already eaten. We should check on Blondie, too."
Hawke waved away his outstretched hand with a smirk. He shook his head with a wry grin at the strength she possessed. She moved a little more slowly than usual, but other than that she seemed perfectly capable of moving around on her own. Giving a small cry of triumph Hawke found her hair brush at the bottom of her pack and began a fierce battle against the knots in her red hair. "Damn it. I'll have to wash it if I have any hope of it looking normal again."
Varric laughed. "I think we could all use a little washing." He pulled the tent flap back and bowed, exaggeratedly. "M'lady." Hawke laughed softly and rolled her eyes at his antics as she passed through the opening.
"Morning Fenris, Sebastian." Hawke sat down beside the elf with a warm smile and he returned it with a slight one of his own. "What's for breakfast?"
Sebastian passed the dwarf and the noblewoman their shares of roasted bronto without making eye contact. Varric noticed the odd atmosphere among the group, but didn't say anything. Hawke dug in happily, sighing in satisfaction when she was done. "Maker, I definitely need a wash after that. I'm covered in grease." She left the group and could be heard poking around inside the tent. She reappeared and tossed a rag at Varric. "It used to be a shirt, but now it's a napkin!" With the return of the Hawke everyone knew and loved, it was easy to smile and laugh together.
"So, how's Anders?" The question sobered the group immediately.
Fenris sighed. "Not good. He still has a crazed look about him. I don't think it's safe to venture farther in until he's worked all the lyrium out of his system."
"I'm not sure what he's doing in his tent, but he hasn't been out since breakfast." The archer's voice caused Fenris to frown, which Varric noticed and filed away for later. It was obvious that something was up between the two men and he didn't want any awkwardness between the members when they were trapped underground.
Hawke stood. "I'm going to talk to him." Before any of the men could protest, she'd already swept inside the mage's tent unannounced. "Anders? Are you alright?"
The blond man was huddled in a back corner of the shelter, rocking slightly as his lips moved silently. He didn't register the woman's presence. With slow, deliberate steps Hawke moved towards the mage. "Anders, it's Hawke. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. And tell you thank you for saving my ass again." She smiled as she knelt to his eye level. When her face filled up his vision, his wild eyes refocused, looking more like the brown orbs she was used to.
"Hawke?" His throat was dry from lack of water. Quickly locating his water pouch, she passed it to him so he could wet his throat and mouth. "Thank you," he mumbled after he swallowed. "How are you feeling? Did it heal properly?"
The woman smiled again. "It's fine, like it never happened." Impulsively the rogue took his calloused hands in hers and Anders' mouth dried up once more as his heart raced in his chest. "I heard how bad it was," she whispered. Turning her sapphire eyes up to fully meet his, she continued softly, "I wanted to thank you. You saved my life, Anders."
All the mage wanted to do in that moment was kiss the gorgeous woman before him, but he managed to restrain himself. "You're welcome, Hawke. We'd be lost without you."
"Now, we just need to get you better. How does one come down from being lyrium addled?" She continued to hold his hands as she forced his mind to think, tethering his brain to reality and leaving the shadows of insanity behind.
Anders frowned as he tried to process the question and formulate an articulate response. "It depends…on the amount of lyrium ingested. And it would be safe to cast some simple spells to release the overabundance of lyrium in the mage's system."
She nodded encouragingly. "Good. How much did you take Anders?"
His reply was faster. "Four vials in rapid succession. I probably didn't need the last one, but I was trying to work more quickly."
"Do you think the last one was too much?" He nodded. "Alright, well, lets work the leftovers out of your system, okay? You can practice some simple ice spells, while I stretch out my leg." She pulled him to his feet and smirked. "Oh, and no fire spells until you are confident you won't set the camp on fire." Anders chuckled in spite of himself. He recognized what she'd just done for him by pulling him from the abyss of madness. The blond realized she was still holding his hand as she gently led him towards the entrance of the tent and with a small, sad smile he squeezed her hand in thanks before letting it go entirely.
Just like her namesake, Hawke tilted her head at him questioningly. "I don't think we should walk out there holding hands. Varric can be trigger happy." The rogue flashed him a blinding smile.
"I understand. After yesterday, you're probably right. Come on." The men sitting around the small campfire pretended like they hadn't been eavesdropping. Varric wasn't phased by Hawke holding Anders' hand since it was obviously more of a motherly gesture than romantic on her part, but it had definitely stirred up strong emotions among the two men sitting with him. The tension in the elf's shoulders was a give-away to the observant rogue of his discomfort at the mage's words. Sebastian's jaw moved back and forth in agitation and now he seemed to be sharpening his arrow tips with a little more force than was necessary.
"Who wants to help me train?" Varric leaned back to see if the others would take her up on her offer. Fenris shook his head and refused to meet her eyes. Hawke turned her gaze to the royal archer, one eyebrow raised in expectation. The other rogue smirked wickedly and Varric narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Let's go Hawke." She clapped as he accepted her challenge. Piling her thick hair into a messy bun secured by hair clips she kept in her pack, the group watched the two rogues prepare for their skirmish. Even with her red hair a wild mess atop her head, clothes covered in Maker-knew-what, Hawke was beautiful as she twirled her daggers effortlessly. Sebastian's piercing eyes watched her expression as he began to shuck his heavy armor. At first, she merely looked amused at the change, but as his armor was removed leaving the prince in his loose undertunic with it's deep V and leather breeches there was no mistaking the slightly hungry look in her eyes. With a quick flick of his wrists the prince pulled a couple of nearly invisible dirks from the hiding places in his boots.
He mimicked her twirling blades with ease and Hawke nodded in appreciation of his form. Sebastian had the advantage in this little practice since he knew how she fought, but she'd never seen him wield a blade, which he was obviously capable of handling, so this would be new for her. They walked in a circle, sizing each other up, looking for an opening. Hawke was trying not to be distracted by the flashes of his olive skin peeking out from under his tunic. Sebastian noticed her distraction and winked brazenly at the woman, pleased to see her blush furiously. In her frustration she twirled around him with the intention to mime stabbing into his exposed side, but he anticipated her move and danced around her.
Without even giving Hawke a moment to find him, Sebastian moved in for the kill and pointed his dagger at her heart. She laughed. "One for the prince." He bowed gallantly with a chuckle. "Come, Your Highness, let's continue."
"As you wish, my lady."
Hawke was feeling more fluid after the first round and was eager to keep going. She was born to fight, even her father had agreed when she was growing up, and she never felt more alive then when she was dancing with death. The prince moved to slice, but she parried and spun away. He turned on his heel, quick to cover his back, and Hawke was once again on the defense. She feinted left and he moved to protect that side, only to discover as she twirled around him and hovered her blade over his right side that he'd been had. "One for our fearless leader. Still want to continue?" Hawke nodded.
Both rogues were fired up and ready to prove themselves. Bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, Hawke tested her recent injury, pleased to find no stiffness or pain. Sebastian watched her test her leg and smirked as he realized she was going to up the ante of their little practice. Hawke ran at him and he didn't flinch as she leapt over him. Before she could bring down her blades the prince slid out from under her and was waiting for her next move when she popped out of her roll.
She studied him, searching for a weakness in his stance or form, but she couldn't find any. He'd been bred and trained all his life, just as she had; they were evenly matched and Hawke was becoming frustrated. She wanted to best him – not because she wanted to prove that he couldn't fight, not even to prove that she could after yesterday…there was some intangible reason why she felt she needed to win. He shuffled his feet slightly to the left at the same time that his eyes shifted in the same direction. Hawke smothered her grin as he gave himself away. When he moved she anticipated it and twirled away, only to feel his arm snake around her middle from behind as he held one of his blades millimeters from her throat.
With a breathy chuckle Hawke spoke, "Nice feint, Sebastian. I'll have to use that one." He lowered his blade, but kept his arm wrapped around her midsection.
"My dear Katya," he purred causing her skin to erupt in goose bumps as he caressed her name with his brogue, "you can use anything of mine, anytime." He twirled her to face him before releasing her and stepped back as though nothing happened. With a deep bow, he intoned, "Thank you for the privilege, Hawke. Maybe we can have an actual duel when we are aboveground."
Hawke gave another breathy chuckle as she tried to calm her racing heart and soothe her tortured mind. "Definitely. I would like that." Slipping his dirks into their built-in sheaths Sebastian walked away, ignoring the glares the other men shot in his direction as he gathered his armor and began to polish the greaves.
Varric moved towards the woman, but she shook her head and hustled past him into the hallway outside the chamber. The dwarf was rooted to the stone working his jaw back and forth in rage and anxiety. He wasn't blind – he knew what the royal rogue's game was and he saw the way his long-time love responded to the other man. His trigger finger twitched as he replayed the duo's more amorous moments. And just what the hell had he whispered to her? Hawke practically melted in his arms at his words. If they didn't need the archer so badly, not to mention the bad press in killing royalty, Varric would end the smug bastard right now.
Not being able to stand still any longer the dwarf stomped to the opposite exit in the chamber so he could think without the suffocating sympathy of his team members. Once he was gone Fenris wasted no time in yanking the prince to his feet and walking him backwards until he slammed into a wall.
"What the hell was that about?" The warrior's large green eyes were swirling dangerously. He shoved the archer again. "Well? I'm waiting! Didn't I tell you not to pine for what you can't have?"
Sebastian smirked arrogantly. "Who says I can't have her? You saw how she reacted to me."
Fenris growled. "You – can't – have – her! You don't deserve her or you would respect that she loves someone else! Attraction is one thing, but you don't mess with love. Besides," he spat, "don't you have vows to remain chaste? Or do you plan to break that oath, too?"
The prince flushed angrily. "I rescinded my vows to the Chantry so I could reclaim Starkhaven. A city-state cannot be ruled by a man who can't have heirs! And the Grand Cleric understood my reasons, even if she did not agree, because she knows that I must do what is best for myself and my people!"
The elf released the human in disgust. "Then go to Starkhaven, Sebastian. Leave Kirkwall and leave Hawke. Marry some noblewoman and have your heirs, but know that Hawke is off-limits."
Sebastian shook out the wrinkles in his tunic as he tried to regain his dignity. "Fine. Once this mission is over and we are back in Kirkwall, I will make my arrangements to leave. Unless Hawke says otherwise." He strode confidently back to his original seat and finished polishing his commissioned armor.
Heaving a large sigh Fenris slid down to sit on the cold floor. As he held his head in his hands he cried silent tears for the woman he cared for and a long time ago he'd told to chase another man. He was happy he'd done so – Varric was always destined to be Hawke's other half. The dwarf understood her better than anyone and being around him brought out the softer side of the battle-hardened woman. Fenris was sure he would only have broken her heart and he couldn't have lived with the guilt. But Sebastian's actions showed them all that Hawke was still attracted to other men, which only laid the foundation for anxiety and doubts to fester in her relationship with Varric.
Hours passed as the fractured companions worked through their individual questions and concerns. Finally, Hawke reappeared and nodded brusquely to see that Anders' eyes were devoid of madness. "Pull up camp. We've wasted enough time and we still have one more seal to break before we confront Corypheus." No one made eye contact as they awkwardly and quickly broke camp. Varric let Hawke lead the team and chose to take the rear as they moved deeper into the depths.
A/N: Uh oh!