Waking to the Final Day
Once Sky and I had made it back to the hideout, the Lost Boys were already outside, saying their goodbyes to Ali. We landed softly onto the grass, our hands intertwined.
"There you are!"
A small group of the boys ran forward, clinging onto my arms. They pulled me towards the bigger group, which was still hanging onto Ali. I looked over my shoulder with a face full of mock horror. Sky laughed, his eyes twinkling.
"Ali and you were gone the entire time!" Tootles cried at me.
I looked over his short head to give Ali an observant glance. When she heard the words, her face turned red, and she looked away from me. My eyes narrowed.
"What is she keeping from me?"
When I saw that Ali wouldn't look my way again, I patted Tootles on the head. "I promise that we will be spending a lot of time together tomorrow, Tootles. I swear."
He smiled his toothy grin at me. "Really?"
"Of course."
At that, the Lost Boys gathered around me. "We have a surprise for you and Ali tomorrow." Their hands were fidgeting and playing with the ends of their shirts. I stared down at their glowing faces.
"A surprise?" I asked.
They all nodded, giving significant looks to each other.
Ali came up next to me. "Corie and I don't like surprises."
Curly groaned, and the boys joined in. "That's not true," Curly said. "This was all a surprise, and you two liked it."
"What do you mean 'this'?" I asked.
"Neverland of course!"
He was right. There was no denying that all of Neverland was the greatest surprise of our life. It completed every dream I had ever seen or imagined in my head. When I was surrounded by the people that made up Neverland, I was never happier. The Lost Boys were like my younger brothers. I loved them almost as much as I loved Sky. No…I loved them as much as I loved Sky, but in a totally different way. Sky was more of a need, whereas these boys were the vital part of my happiness.
Ali and I looked at each other, and we could see in the other's eyes that we were thinking the exact same thing: how in hell were we supposed to leave here?
The thought of it almost seemed impossible. The idea of flying up into the air for the last time, seeing the final glimpse of Neverland's horizon, and seeing the tear-stained faces of the Lost Boys made my heart do back flips.
And then there was Sky. This thought didn't completely destroy my spirit, because it wasn't a sure thing yet if I was never going to see him again. He still hadn't given me an answer, and I wasn't going to press him for one. I almost liked that he was going to tell me last minute. That way, it wouldn't hurt as much if his final decision was to stay in Neverland. After tonight, however, it seemed as if he had chosen to come with me. In my heart, I felt that he wanted to be with me for the rest of my life. After I had said, "I want this forever," hadn't he grabbed my face and said, "You have it." I didn't know if that was his true answer, but I prayed to God that it was.
If he didn't choose me, I couldn't even think of the pain that would be inflicted upon me. Two days ago had been enough pain for me. It had started in my heart but had managed to find a way to carve through my heart all the way down to my toes. It scared me that it was actual physical pain being away from Sky. How was I supposed to survive that?
I realized that I had been standing there in silence for a couple seconds. When I came out of my reverie, the Lost Boys were looking at me with sympathetic eyes. It was clear they knew what I was thinking about. They knew I wasn't ready to leave here. Automatically, there arms extended towards me, almost like we were magnets.
Ali and I accepted their arms at once. They grabbed onto our torsos, our legs, anything they could touch. Even the ones in the back managed to hold onto our shoulders or grab some article of clothing that we had on.
I buried my face against Nibbs' head. He was situated against the hollow of my neck, and I could feel his breathing against my throat. I could feel all of their rough skin against my soft, smooth skin. I liked the feeling of the scratches and scars of their adventures. It gave me a feeling of rebellion.
Their smell rose up into my nostrils. What I had expected to be a bad smell full of body odor and mud, turned out to be a smell full of nature and the fresh scent of the woods. I could smell every leaf they had brushed up against; I could smell any flower they had carried in their small hands; I could smell the salt water that was still plastered lightly onto their tan skin.
The Lost Boys loved us…very much. Their hands against our bodies felt like a plea. It was a plea full of desperation and wanting. I knew that they wanted us to stay forever; it was that simple for them. But if only they knew how hard it was for Ali and me. I wanted to stay, just as badly as they wanted us to, but I needed my friends back home. I needed my two sisters, my father, and my mother. They were my everything, and I couldn't just walk away from that life to come to this one. I would always wonder, always imagine what it would have been like when I went missing. How Dr. Brady would probably be fired, how Elaine and Lisa would have to lie for the rest of their lives, how Sarah and Pamela would know the truth, but never truly understand it, and how my family would cry for months. It was a scene that hurt to imagine.
A hand gently touched my shoulder. "We should go," Peter whispered.
We were all silent, so the request was easy to hear. I reluctantly let go of the boys and took my head off of Nibbs'. He gave me a watery smile. It made my heart clench when I saw tears in all of their eyes.
"What are you crying about?" I asked in a choked voice. "We have tomorrow. Don't forget that."
They gave weak laughs, wiping their eyes against their sleeves.
"Yeah," Ali agreed. "Save the tears for tomorrow. That's what I'm doing."
"Me too," I said quickly.
We all shared another laugh, sniffles still coming from the boys.
The hand touched my shoulder again, and I turned around to see that it was Sky rather than Peter touching me.
When he saw my strained face, he gave out a laugh. "You are such a crybaby," he said.
I glared at him. "No I'm not! I'm not even crying."
"Just about."
I shook my head and looked down at my feet.
Without a pause, Sky's hand pulled my chin up. I loved when he did that. It was his way of gently forcing me to look up at him.
When our eyes met, I saw that all trace of humor had left his face. His eyes were gentle, the edges curved with sympathy. He was biting on his bottom lip, his jaw moving back and forth in distraction. I stared at him.
"Tomorrow," he finally said. The word came out as a whisper, and I heard his voice cut off suddenly. Maybe he had planned to say something after it, maybe he had not. It didn't matter. I knew exactly what he had meant.
I reached for his face, and his hand fell from my chin. I gently smoothed his temples, pushing his hair back from his face. His eyes closed, and he breathed heavily from my touch. He was so beautiful; I felt like I was touching an angel.
"I love you," I breathed.
His eyes slowly fluttered open, and I was happy to see the warm brown of his pupils. I immediately smiled.
"I love you, too."
Maybe this would be our last goodbye…maybe not. I prayed that it would be. I prayed that I would never have the sinking feeling in my heart when waving my departure to Sky; I prayed that I wouldn't have to hear Sky's voice in my head every second when I wasn't with him; I prayed that I wouldn't only see Sky whenever my eyes closed.
But at the same time…I prayed that I would.
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The morning sun touched my face, and my eyes slowly opened.
And there it was; I woke to our last full day in England.
It almost seemed like I was still dreaming; this couldn't be it. This could not possibly be our final day. The first day of the trip seemed ages ago, almost weeks. I remembered when I had said goodbye to my mother, not even aware of what was waiting for me in this new world.
And the truth was…it was a whole new world to me. Everything had changed the second I stepped onto England soil. I knew that the trip would bring joy, would bring memories, would bring lessons, but I had no idea that it would bring a whole new me.
I had found Sky: my missing half, my whole self, my soul mate. Every time I thought of him, a smile spread across my face like a bird spreading its wings out.
I turned my head slightly to the left and saw that Ali was still asleep, a smile on her face as well. No doubt she was thinking about the night she had had with Peter.
"You two had sex! Didn't you?!"
This had been my hushed cry the second Peter had left us at our window. Ali had turned a slight shade of red but defiantly shook her head. "God, Corie! Calm down! We didn't have sex."
"Then, what happened?"
Ali and I had sat on our bed, talking for at least an hour of the conversation the two of them had shared that night.
"We just made an agreement; that's all." Her smile was leering, almost like she wanted to keep it secret from me.
"Please tell me," I whispered urgently.
"Fine fine," she said, rolling her eyes.
She leaned towards me, looking apprehensive. "It's just an idea; that's all. It's not final yet. We've been making some decisions just because we can't imagine the thought of us being away from each other. Don't freak out. And don't think that I'm--."
"Ali!" I interrupted. "I can't think anything of you if you don't tell me what's going on."
She laughed her quiet giggle, holding her hand over her mouth. "Sorry."
With that, she got serious and leaned towards me again.
"You know well enough that Peter can't leave Neverland." I nodded sympathetically, but she kept going strong. "And there's no way that I could ever leave my family, you know?" I nodded again out of habit. She took a deep breath and crossed her legs. "We've decided to end it. There's nothing else we can do." Her small features were covered in curiosity, her eyes burning right through me.
I stared at her for a second, at a complete loss for words. She had looked genuinely happy when she had been with Peter tonight. If this was the final decision on their situation, why was she not breaking down like I had been days ago?
When I didn't say anything, she sighed lightly. A small smile crossed her face, erasing the curiosity. "I know what you're thinking. 'Why so optimistic?'" She looked into my eyes, hers alight now. "It's because I know I'm going to see him again. We've already planned it all out. You know how I've always wanted to be a fashion designer?"
"Of course."
"Well, I've been looking at really good opportunities in London for design. I know that it's a lot of money, and it's a bit of a stretch leaving my home and all, but if I go here for school, I could see Peter as many times as I would want, you know? I have a long time to prepare too! I have two full years. It all works out! I just get the money to come live here, go to school, get a part-time job, and visit Peter and the Lost Boys at Neverland every so often."
She finished her speech eagerly, her chest lightly rising with heavy breaths. Immediately, when she saw I was not smiling in agreement, her face fell. Her hands uncrossed in her lap, and she leaned away from me."What's wrong? What are you thinking?"
I didn't want to make her feel upset. "Nothing," I said quickly. "No, that's a good idea."
She glowered at me. "Corie, don't lie. I know you too well."
I paused for a second, observing her face. But then I burst into words. "Ali, that's a really good idea. Trust me, I think that it is. But it doesn't even sound like you've really thought everything out. You're willing to cross seas for school…? That's basically like staying in Neverland anyway. You're not going to be able to go home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or summer. Any of that! You once freaked out when I suggested you look at Colorado State with me. Oh! And how are you going to explain to all of your friends? 'Yeah, I have a boyfriend, but sorry, you can't meet him, because he lives in Neverland, and that's the only place where he'll ever feel comfortable.' And once you say that you've been dating Peter for so long, people are going to be wondering why they haven't met him, why you don't live with him, and why you have no pictures with him. That's a bit shady, Ali. There are so many complications that you're going to have to go through with, and I don't want you to have to go through with them, because I just want you to be happy."
We stared at each other for a long time. Guilt welled upside me when I saw that her eyes were now clouded with doubt. She bit her lip and looked back down at her lap. I noticed that her hands were once again intertwined.
I sighed and looked away from her. Lisa and Elaine had been snoring together in harmony, so it was almost impossible to hear each other.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. She didn't say anything. "I just want you to see the situation from all points of view."
"I know," she agreed weakly. Her voice broke on the last word. "I completely understand."
"Do you?" I asked, my head turning in her direction.
When I looked at her, I could tell that she truly was listening to what I had said. All eagerness had left her eyes, and she now had a more determined ring circling her eyelids.
"Yes." She sighed and looked back down at her lap.
I still felt that awful sinking feeling in my stomach. I had made all light leave her eyes. Suddenly, the thought of her comforting me after Sky had broke my heart reached the basin of my brain. The memory brought a strange carving feeling to my chest, yet I could still feel the relief that Ali had fought with that physical pain. She had been there for me in my moment of need, no matter how ridiculous I may have sounded. She listened, comforted, and encouraged me to keep going. Now it was my turn.
My hand touched hers, and her head slowly inclined.
"Don't give up on it, Ali," I whispered gently. "Don't you ever let anyone tell you to give up on your dreams. I almost convinced myself that Sky and I could never be, but I didn't allow that to happen. I don't want you to allow that to happen either."
"But it seems impossible," she whispered back desperately. "What if it's just better to be away from him?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "You'll never know that for sure unless you try." I leaned closer to her, gazing into her dark eyes. "What if you never did try? Wouldn't you wonder for the rest of your life, 'What if I had gone back? What if I had just seen him one more time?'"
She didn't have to say anything. The look on her face was enough.
"Then try, Ali," I breathed, squeezing her small fingers. "Try."
And now, in present time, looking down at Ali's face that was full of hope, full of wonder, full of anxiety made me realize that I had so much mystery lying ahead of me. Today was the last day. Tonight was the last night that my feet would ever touch Neverland soil. The thought of it alone made tears come to my eyes. Sure, Sky might be leaving Neverland with me this night, and that was more than I had ever wanted, but I was leaving behind so much more. I was leaving behind a land that had become a home to me. After a couple weeks, maybe even days, all of it would seem like a dream. How could anyone not confuse Neverland with their imagination? Is that why Sky and the Lost Boys were so afraid to leave it? Was it just so perfect that it would seem physically impossible to take off from the land? I would never know. All I knew was that Ali and I had to leave it tonight. No matter how difficult or traumatizing it would be for us, Neverland would never be a part of our lives again after this night.
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"Aw! Our last breakfast in England!" Lisa moaned, biting into her English muffin.
I snorted into my cereal. "Lisa…we're eating breakfast at the hotel tomorrow."
"Oh yeah…"
My friends and I burst into laughter and quickly got quiet. I could hear the strain in all of their laughter, hear how their voices cut off immediately. Lisa had been wrong about the last breakfast, but today would be our last lunch and dinner.
Ali nudged my arm sympathetically. I hadn't realized that my face had taken on the shape of a frown. I straightened my back and relaxed my mouth. I wasn't going to let our last day be a sob fest; that was for tomorrow.
"Today's going to be really fun though," our friend Anne finally piped up. All eyes went to her spot at the table. "I mean…we're going to a musical, getting lunch, going to our last concert, and then going to our dinner. It should be pretty spectacular."
We all nodded in agreement. It was true, too. This last day was going to be the most phenomenal. Dr. Brady had promised to take us to a true, English musical. This morning, we were off to see Billy Elliot the Musical. It was one I had always wanted to see, and I was absolutely ecstatic.
However, I was not too excited about the concert. I was doing my solo this afternoon, and I was beyond nervous. Practicing it in the shower had not made me any more comfortable than I had been days ago. I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out.
Suddenly, on my right, someone bumped my elbow with a small sheet of paper. I looked down and saw that Elaine had folded a little note for me to read. I could see the writing through the thin paper. I looked up at her and she winked.
Looking around, I saw that nobody had taken notice. I quickly unfolded the note and gazed down at the writing. "Anything special for tonight in Neverland?"
I smiled, grabbed the same pen that she had used to write with and wrote a short message back: "I never know what the Lost Boys have planned… We'll just have to wait and see."
She got the letter back and read my message. Elaine wrote another back, this one a bit longer. "Are you ready? I mean, for tomorrow? Have you emotionally/physically prepared yourself? I can't even imagine how hard it's going to be. I don't mean to rub it in, but how are you going to manage in front of everyone…? And if Sky chooses to come with you, what are your parents going to think when a boy flies through the window of your bedroom one night?"
I bit my lip in consternation, totally at a loss for words. I pressed my pen to the paper and managed to get out "…"
Elaine wrote back "That's what I figured you would say."
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"Amazing!"
"The best musical I have ever seen!"
My friends and I walked out of the theater, not knowing what else to say. Billy Elliot had been everything and more for me. Tears had streamed down my face for most of the performance, and chills had continuously grazed my arms as I watched the magnificent singers and dancers.
"That was so good," I said in a hoarse voice.
Everyone started to laugh when they saw the look on my face. "Don't ruin your makeup, Corie," Ali warned. "Your solo is in fifteen minutes."
My heart stopped.
Lisa must have seen my fists clench, because she came over and slipped her hand into mine. "You have nothing to worry about," she whispered. "You're going to do wonderfully."
"Yeah, we'll see."
The bus ride was much too short. We made it to the Stratford-upon-Avon church in a matter of three minutes. I had been counting down the seconds, my teeth clenched together. To keep myself preoccupied, I laughed with my friends, listened to my iPod, and thought of Sky smiling down at me. My heart melted.
Dr. Brady hoarded the group together outside the front entrance of the church. "Class!" he hissed. "Listen up!" Everyone got quiet immediately. The hush from inside the building gave off an intimidating feeling. Once Dr. Brady saw all of our eyes in his direction, he began to give us orders in hushed tones. "I want all of you to know that this church is much too respectable to be the loud teenagers that you are." A small laugh rippled through the group. He smiled, but went on. "William Shakespeare is buried here, and it's very important that you respect that. It's a big deal!" he said, his eyes getting wide.
Ali grabbed my arm. "Dude, Willy Shakes is buried here!"
I covered my mouth to stifle my giggles.
Once Dr. Brady made sure it was okay to come inside, our large group of choir kids walked through the entrance that lay in front of us.
The church was beautiful; small, but absolutely exquisite. It was furnished for a royal family, it seemed. The dim lights cast eerie shadows against the sharp angles of the architecture. I was immediately reminded of Beauty and the Beast, and I could envision the moment when Belle walks down the stairs to her waiting Romeo. We passed a small souvenir shop, displaying items saying, "I saw William Shakespeare's grave!" and much more where that came from. I saw Lisa stare greedily at the family armor display, knowing full well that her surname lay somewhere in the pile. I shared a quiet laugh with Ali at that.
After we passed through that hallway, double doors as large as what I would imagine heaven's gate to be, lay ahead of us. They were open, displaying the main hall where the church services took place. At once, I looked at the number of heads. I only saw around ten or so, and I let out a sigh of relief. I had nothing to worry about. My solo would mean nothing to this number of people. I was off the hook.
As we walked into the room, the heads turned our direction, most of them snowy white with crinkles at the edges of their eyes. We smiled back, proving just how wonderful our choir truly was. Our audience included two teen boys, but they looked like they had been forced to spend the day with their grandparents. I saw that Elaine and Lisa smiled warmly at them, and they immediately looked more interested in the concert.
"Get in order," Dr. Brady hissed. "Make sure that you're in the right positions for all the songs."
We made it to our destination. It was before all the pews, and it was the most crowded space we had ever had to sing in. Our shoulders were all rubbing against each other, and we could feel the humidity of outside against our bodies. My hair was beginning to create gentle waves of its own accord.
Once we were all situated, Dr. Brady turned to the audience. I stared at the back of his head, truly appreciating what he was saying. This would be the last time I would ever hear him introduce us to an English crowd.
"Welcome, everybody! We call ourselves the Lincoln Ways Choir. The town we come from is fairly large, very pleasant, and well situated. Our school has always been praised for our choir. I had the pleasure of taking about seventy or so kids with me on this trip, got about sixty or so, and we are having the greatest time of our lives here. Right, kids?" He looked over his shoulder with a smile.
We all cheered in agreement, and the audience gave out a snicker
Dr. Brady turned back around. "Unfortunately, today is our last day in England. Tomorrow, we leave for London to take a plane back to America." A few sympathetic noises came from the audience. "Yes, it's very sad," Dr. Brady agreed. "I don't think I'm the only one who feels like they're leaving a lot behind when we get on that plane tomorrow."
If only he knew.
Elaine and Ali both squeezed my arms on either side of me. Tears welled up in my eyes.
"Well, anyway, we're here to sing for you. I hope that you enjoy! There are a few soloists in the first song. Their names are:…" He went on to say the three names that were included in the song. My name was first, and I let my hand wave weakly in the air. My throat was beginning to clench up.
"Corie, you're going to be great," Ali whispered in my right ear.
I nodded to reassure her and myself.
"The title of our first song," Dr. Brady announced, "is City of Heaven."
He turned back around, with a huge beam on his face.
The look he gave us was significant in every way. This was our last concert here, and he wanted to make it memorable. What opportunity like this would we ever have again? We could all read that in his eyes. He nodded at all of the soloists, his eyes wide as he smiled encouragingly at me. I nodded as well, still feeling that clogged up feeling in my throat.
Dr. Brady raised his arms, looked at our accompanist, and nodded.
As he did so, the large double doors of the church entrance slowly creaked open. The echoing sound bounded off the rafters of the steep ceiling. Every head turned in direction of the noise.
"Well, it looks like we have a few more listeners."
Elaine, Lisa, and Ali gasped at the same time, but I didn't have the air to even breathe.
Right as the doors fully opened, all Lost Boys walked into the church, smiles on their faces, including Ali's Peter and my Sky.
I'm SO sorry, you guys! That took so, incredibly long. I have been hammered with school work lately, so that's why it's been so difficult to update. I promise that it won't take as long next time to update. There's only a few chapters left… I can't believe it!