A/N: It had been absolutely forever and for that I'm so, so sorry. I don't have any excuse good enough for you I'm afraid. So I'm repenting my poor efforts by delivering this to you today. I initially wrote this and the next chapter as one, but it didn't feel right somehow. So for now here is the first half of the beginning of the the end. The second half will be up a little later today (hence this one being a little short, the next isn't). And then I think there will be an epilogue, or something else. Anyway I'll speak more about that at the end of the next chapter...

As it's been so long... If you are up to date please ignore this, if you need a little refresher read on: After feeling the temptation of Bella's blood, Alice ran away. Bella, being scared of a future without her friend left in the middle of the night, hoping to have her fears relieved. But it wasn't Alice that she encountered but Edward. Upon seeing them together Jared ran away, spending some long overdue time with his pack. Bella on the other hand was left to deal with the loss of a friend/family and the uncertainty of her relationship with Jared all by herself. After a few choice words from Leah, Jared returned to Bella's side;

I turned over but the room was silent, I must have been dreaming. It was still silent when I felt large arms wrapping around me and Jared's hot breath on my neck. I twisted around to see his light eyes looking down at me. I couldn't read the emotion there, so I whispered out my words to him again. "I'm so sorry", but this time the response wasn't gruff or cold, it was passionate and filled the emptiness inside me "I know you are, and Bell you have to know that I could never leave you. But I think you both need to know that he can't touch you anymore. All I can see is you wrapped around him, his sickly scent all over you and it's been driving me crazy. I love you, but I think for once and all he and everyone else need to know with no uncertainty that you're mine"

And on with the show we go. All things Twilight related are not mine, but belong to Ms. Meyer.

"No", I pushed my hand against his unrelenting chest. Even though he remained frozen in place, I knew that the pressure he would feel would get my message across.

"What do you mean, No?", he sat up he resting tensely upon one elbow. His light eyes darkened and while I didn't want to believe it was truly there, I noticed a tiny flutter of anger flash indiscreetly across his eyes.

"I mean, I think I understand what you're implying, and I'm saying no. I refuse to carry around another scar with me that has negative memories attached to it", I didn't need to say anything further as Jared reached for me, his lips brushing against the cooler crescent skin on my wrist. As we watched each other, it must have been almost ten minutes before I spoke again. "When I told you it was something I wanted, I thought it would come from a place of love, not revenge or jealousy. I understand you don't like what you saw yesterday, but I think you need to take a step back and really think about what you're saying… What you're asking from me."

I pulled back slightly and brushed away the dark hair that had fallen down into his eyes. "I may not have realized it at the time, but I left him for you. I've given up everything for us and if I had anything left standing in our way, I would walk away from that too. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, but I would, I'd walk away without a second thought. But if you can't see that, then maybe…"

"Than maybe what Bell?" the room was silent and dark, the air around us suffocating me with the unwelcome tension. I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say. Any threat to leave would be empty, the past few days had shown me just how incapable I was of surviving in any true sense without him, and honestly I saw no reason why I should. But maybe we needed to step back a little.

"I don't know, I mean, maybe we moved too fast. I know without a doubt that you're my forever…"

"But?" I was second guessing every word that was coming out of my mouth and I needed him to know that, to know that I wasn't certain of anything in this moment, that quite perhaps I was being completely irrational. The only thing I knew for sure was that I needed him. So I shuffled a little closer, burying my head in his broad chest and brushed my lips against the smooth warmth of his skin.

"I don't know. Can we please just lay here. I haven't been able to think clearly without you here and I just need some time…I don't want to say anything I don't mean" It didn't take any more words for me to be enveloped in his strength, both of us sighing in pleasure at the close proximity and the lack of awkward words permeating the air.

I lay there at peace working through the past few days, what they meant to me and how I wanted to move forward from them. I thought back to how alone I had felt as I mourned the loss of my best friend and I wasn't sure if I was angry because I was upset, or upset because I was angry, but as I breathed him in I figured out one thing for certain. I was angry; truly angry at him for the first time. Sure, we bickered and challenged each other about menial things, but since I had realized my love for him we had been sailing on fairly calm waters.

I held onto him just a little tighter, relishing the feel of him wrapped around me and the peace it brought, before I forced him away. My world was split equally between my heart and my head; what I wanted and what I knew was in my best interests.

"I'm angry", I liked the way the words sounded as the fell from my lips, muffled into the night. "Huh?", I pulled back and spoke again, so clearly and concisely that there would be no confusion this time, each word sharply encompassing it's own frontier; "I am angry"

His face was solemn but I could see the flickers of his own anger again, only barely concealed this time, I didn't know if I was truly ready for this, but it seemed more and more that now I had started down this path, I didn't have a choice.

"Perhaps we should take this downstairs", I swung my legs to the floor and took off briskly through the house; arriving in the living room faster than I thought possible and sitting down rigidly in Charlie's lounger that we had brought over the previous week. I felt more in control as I waited for Jared's soft, unrushed, footsteps to fall silent. He didn't sit down on any of the other open chairs but instead pulled the coffee table nearer to me, sitting on the edge, engulfing me with his large imposing frame.

"So, you're angry?", I didn't need to take a deep breath, or steel my nerves, it was all flowing out of my mouth before I even had a chance to contemplate what I was going to say.

"Too right I'm fucking angry. I know it was wrong of me to hug him, but if you had even taken thirty seconds to talk to me, to be an adult and ask me why, then maybe you would have understood my actions a little more. He wasn't Edward, he wasn't the boy I was in love with. He was just a Cullen and I knew when I saw him, I would probably never see any of them again. I spent three years believing they were the family I never had, but just like I knew would eventually happen I've driven them all away. The only thing holding me together was you, but you weren't here. How can I keep doing this, when you keep showing me that you don't believe in me. I thought we were done doubting each other. I know you were hurt, but I needed you and you weren't here. My best friend is gone, all because I was too weak to hold myself together and I know that you had a right to be upset. But didn't I deserve to have you here with me?"

I took a big breath and sat back, evaluating the words that had just fallen from me, trying to decide if I had said anything untoward in my sudden rush to spill my frustrations. I wasn't quite sure that everything I'd wanted to say had come out the right way but before I had a chance to truly evaluate I noticed Jared's eyes narrowing. It was obvious he wasn't just going to tell me he was sorry and move along.

"So, it would be fine with you if I did the same thing? Because I wasn't the only one who ran away. I just wasn't as subtle about it as you were. You wouldn't talk to me, you never talk to me about what's bothering you. Instead you ran to them, again, in the middle of the night no less. I'm sorry you didn't think I was here for you, but from where I was sitting you made it pretty clear that it wasn't me you wanted. But I would never leave you. I can't"

"Yeah….can't" I couldn't help the venom as I spat the words out.

"So is that what this is really about?", I shook my head in frustration. But I couldn't deny that I did seem to always come back to this in my mind. One of my last conversations I had shared with Alice floated back to me and I felt guilty remembering how casual we had been, especially knowing how far apart we now stood.

"Well, how would you feel when someone keeps telling you they can't leave you, not that they don't want to, but that they can't"

He lowered his head burying it in his hands, hiding his true feelings from me. This wasn't how things were meant to go, I didn't want to fight with him, to be angry or upset. I just wanted him to come back to me and tell me how much he was in love with me, to hold me close and for everything to be forgotten. I could feel the edges of everything peeling back and I was struggling to reach all four corners to push them back down again. I could no longer feel the anger bubbling inside me, instead I was just tired and hurt. We had both run away from our problems and I wasn't quite sure anymore if I had acted any better than him.

"I don't want to fight with you", Jared's head snapped up, his eyes telling stories that I didn't have the language to read. "Really, are you sure about that? Because just a moment ago it seemed like you wanted to do just that". I threw my head back. I didn't quite know how I had come to this point. But it was obvious that however it was, we had some underlying issues that needed to be resolved.

"You're angry with me", it wasn't a question, I had known all along that he was, but would he ever have admitted it to me? His eyes met mine and he nodded. "I was".

The silence spanned between us, but I wasn't willing to fill it. I just sat, watching and waiting.

"This isn't even about Vampires and Werewolves, Bell, it's about you and him, and what he meant to you. Not so long ago you were willing to give him everything, just like you say you are for me now. So not only do I have to see you wrapped around him, not hugging him as you so innocently put it, but wrappedaround him. But I also have to deal with knowing that you chose him. You never chose me, no matter how much we try to tell ourselves that you did."

I felt like I had been physically punched in the gut. I knew how prevalent my doubts and fears could be, but I hadn't really ever seen them manifest in Jared.

"You think I don't remember that you called this a curse once", his hand was gesturing back and forth between the two of us. His eyes were filled with a deep, dark sadness and just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse, I did. I didn't really know how to make this better for either of us.

"I won't let you go", as my words met the air I reached out to tangle my fingers with his, binding us together, trying to push all of my love for him through the simple gesture. He chuckled softly, his eyes softening as they met mine. "That won't be a problem. Not matter how much I doubt whether you would have been mine if you had a choice, I know without a doubt I would chose you again and again. I'll never let you go Bell"

"It seems I have a little work to do then, convincing you that there is nothing and no one I would ever chose above you", I crawled into his lap, moving my fingers behind his neck, as I pulled myself closer and closer to him. I kept my eyes locked with his until the very last moment, until my lips were brushing against his. The kiss was soft and gentle, no pushing or pulling. Just an ending to something that probably shouldn't have ever been in the first place. I couldn't deny that my eyes had been opened. Jared was far too good at hiding his insecurities from me, or perhaps I had just been oblivious to the glaringly obvious.

"I missed you" I was still laying soft kisses on his lips as I softly spoke the words that had been long overdue, but was met with something that would top them every time; "I love you Bell". I smiled into my last kiss, before sliding off his lap and holding out my hand for him to take. We walked hand in hand upstairs, not letting go of one another for even a fragment of a moment. The night was soft and gentle, both of us rediscovering the pleasure of the other, sharing kisses and careful words until the sun washed the lasting darkness from the skies.