Chapter 21

Bella and I made love in the morning before we went home. As fast and furious as the night before had been, our morning lovemaking was on the opposite end of the spectrum. We took our time; slow and calculated in our movements. Kisses were tender, not bitten. Our hands were caressing, not grabbing; we gave more than we took. And though our words were much less dirty they were still breathy and hot on our dampened skin. Either way, both times were equally amazing.

And yet, walking into Jake's office a few days later, I felt like a little kid who'd done something wrong. Three-times over. I tried to take the bounce out of my step, walking in with a somber face but right away, our therapist knew something was up. I really needed to work on being stealthy.

"Look at you two- something's different." Jake observed us sitting closer on the loveseat, my arm draped casually around the back of the chair; Bella's hand resting on my knee. I fought against the I-got-laid smile that threatened to reveal all.

"I'm going to guess you two had a good few weeks?"

"We certainly did." Bella amazed me - answering without so much as a smirk. I could learn a thing or two from her.

"And did you each take the other on a special date?"

"Mine wasn't a conventional 'date'- I took her home to Forks."

"Wow, Edward, that was a big step. I'm proud of you. How did it go?"

"Shit, Jake, it was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do."

"Well, you had a lot of ghosts to face there so that's no surprise."

"True. My brother and I finally released my mom's ashes."

"I imagine it was hard to let go of that one last tangible piece of her."

How right he was.

"Did you have your wife cremated?" I wondered if it were too personal a question but Jake had no problem with answering me.

"At her request, yes, but we haven't spread her ashes anywhere yet. I want to wait until Seth's a bit older so he can help me decide where her final resting place should be."

I nodded. "Yeah, it's a hard decision. Carlisle and I debated beforehand, but you'll know what's right for her and for you when the time comes."

Jake chuckled. "Now who's sounding like a therapist? What else happened in Forks?"

"I ran into Jessica almost as soon as we arrived in town."

Jake's eyebrows rose as he waited for me to continue.

"Surprisingly, I don't hate her as much as I thought I did. I made peace with her, said goodbye to my mom and all the other memories that have haunted me, all in a day and a half."

"And how do you feel now?"

"Good. I feel really good. I couldn't have done it without Bella." I reached over for her hand, our fingers laced together. "She was my rock."

"I'm so glad to hear that, Edward." Jake smiled at me like a proud father. He took a sip of water before turning to Bella. "Did you manage to take Edward on a date?"

"I did. I rented a banquet room and took Edward to prom."

Jake smiled. "That's pretty awesome."

"It really was, Jake! Bella arranged for a tux for me and picked me up at our front door in a stretch limo. The driver doubled as a photographer and we stopped on the way to have our pictures taken in the park. We got the hotel, Bella had the banquet room decorated with streamers, balloons and decorations our girls had made. And she wore the dress she wore to her own prom. I almost feel like we'd actually gone together."

Jake grinned, obviously happy for me - for us. "You got the prom you always wanted."

I got the life I always wanted, I thought to myself.

"I definitely did. She couldn't change the past but she gave me the whole prom experience I missed out on. Dinner and dancing. She even, uh, rented us a hotel room…"

That was my subtle way of ratting us out.

"I see." Jake wasn't stupid and I knew he understood what I was implying. I couldn't tell if he was upset with us or not. I felt the need to explain further.

"So, we, um, had sex. A few times. The, uh, first time, we, uh, did it, was in Forks. It just sort of happened. If it makes you feel better, we both felt super guilty about it afterwards, like we disappointed you or something. And then at prom—"

Jake held up his hand, effectively stopping my rambling confession.

"Edward, you don't need to explain."

I studied his expression but, damn, he had a great poker face.

"Are you mad? Because I can't read you."

"I'm not mad. Believe me, if I were, you would know."

"But you specifically told Edward and me to enjoy not having sex. And we disobeyed you." Bella nervously played with the ends of her hair as she addressed Jake but he merely laughed.

"I'm not your father, Bella, I'm your therapist. You are free to take any of my advice with a grain of salt. May I be blunt for a minute?"

"Please," I encouraged.

"What I didn't want was for you to have a quick fuck - meaningless sex for the sake of having it. Sometimes sex can be selfish, more take than give. I wanted there to be the deepest feelings of love there your first time. Does that make sense?"

Our heads nodded at Jake's words.

"We've sort of done both. But the first time in Forks…" My voice trailed off. I simply had no words to describe the moment Bella and I had shared in our meadow.

"I'm going to bet it was pretty emotional."

Shyly, I raised my hand like a moron.

"I cried."

Jake closed his eyes, shook his head, and sort of chuckled under his breath.

"There was no doubt in my mind that you did, Edward. And that's fine; I'm not mocking you. I'm laughing because you're honest to a fault – I like that. You had a lot of pent up, raw emotions you were dealing with at that time – being home, saying goodbye to your mom, meeting up with Jessica - everything. And then you reconciled with your wife in a very personal, primal way."

He paused for a moment then blushed before he spoke again.

"The, uh, first time I had sex after Leah died, I was a blubbering idiot. It's no wonder the girl never called me again - she probably thought I was a freak. I stupidly thought having casual sex would be easier than making love. Boy, was I wrong - I was such a wreck afterwards. I can only imagine how much more emotional it was for you to reconnect with your wife on that level after such a long hiatus."

"It was…" I shook my head, the whole experience still felt surreal. "I felt like I was loved."

"And you were, Edward. You are. Gotta tell you, I'm pretty jealous."

He looked at me then, and the honesty I felt from his statement hurt my heart. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose my wife forever. I once thought I was losing Bella to divorce, and that was enough to break me. But to lose her for good - to never be able to hear her voice, catch a glimpse of her again, or touch her for a moment - fuck. Unimaginable. I felt so badly for the man who'd helped me put my marriage back together.

"Has there been anyone special since your wife died?" Bella asked in a quiet voice.

Jake shrugged. "Seth is my life now, and I focus solely on his well being. Besides, I don't really have anyone who can readily babysit so I spend most of my time outside work with him. Think about how hard it is to maintain a relationship when you have children. Now imagine trying to start one when you're a 42-year old widowed father. Heh, heh. I certainly come with my own baggage. Anyway, enough about me." Jake waved it off like it wasn't a big deal but I had a feeling he wanted to find love again, one day.

Bella wasn't giving up that easily.

"Are you open to a relationship?"

I leaned back in my seat, watching as teacher became student.

"I wouldn't say 'no' to one."

"How would Seth feel about you dating?"

"He was young when Leah died. He always tells me he wants to have a mom again. Someone who'll make him chocolate chip cookies after school; someone who's warm and snuggly and will tuck him in at night with a blanket, a book, and a kiss on his forehead like only a mom can do. I can't blame him - I want that for him, too."

"Do you want that for yourself?"

Bella was ballsy; I loved it.

"Of course I do. It's hard, though, because I'm not actively dating and I highly doubt a girlfriend will just fall into my lap."

"I have this friend—"

I laughed when Jake interrupted her.

"Whoa, hold on a second here. Let's not go playing matchmaker. Just because you two are getting back on track doesn't mean you know what's best for someone else."

Bella grinned. "Someone else or you, Jake?"

Back in therapist mode, he continued without even entertaining the idea.

"Anyway…I think you've both made really good progress. There are some issues we still need to talk about. Unfortunately, it looks like we're almost out of time for today. Should we meet again in three weeks?"

Bella folded her arms across her chest defiantly.

"Nice way to skirt around the question, Jake."

He winked at Bella as he patted the armrests of the chair he was sitting in. "This chair permits me to do the asking, not the answering."

"Nessie's really sweet—"

I put my hand on my wife's arm but she ignored me.

"She's a veterinarian, stunningly gorgeous. Isn't she, Edward?"

"I'm not getting involved."

"She is. She's never been married. Loves kids…"

Jake and I stood up and shook hands. Reluctantly, Bella followed suit.

"I'm serious, Jake. I've talked to her about you and she'd loved to meet you. I'm just putting it out there. If you ever want to meet her, you have our number. Call us, okay? Everyone deserves to be happy."

"Thank you, Bella. I appreciate the offer and I will take it into consideration."

O*O*O*O

We had a few more sessions with Jake after that last one. Life at home wasn't always perfect and Bella and I still fought sometimes, but not to the same degree. Jake taught us how to communicate better, how to ask for what we wanted without feelings of guilt, and so many other things. I learned that taking care of my wife was far more than providing financially for our family. Most importantly, we both learned not to take each other for granted.

On our very last session, Jake and I exchanged firm handshakes. His hand squeezed my shoulder as he told me he was proud of how far I'd come since that first day I sat defiantly on his couch. In all my years I'd never heard my own father tell me he was proud of me, so for those words to come from someone who seven months before was a virtual stranger almost brought tears to my eyes.

"I can't thank you enough, Jake. Not only for saving me, but our marriage as well."

"Edward, Bella. It was my pleasure to work with you. To see the transformation between you as husband and wife – from strangers to friends to lovers again– makes my job worthwhile."

Bella asked if she could give him a hug before we left and Jake laughed saying that would be fine. It was a good thing I liked the guy because otherwise I may have had an issue with it. Jealousy was apparently an issue I still needed to work on.

Life after therapy was good. Our marriage was stronger and, more importantly, Bella and I were happy. Truly happy. I was so thankful for Jake's expertise and friendship during our time together that I missed seeing him on a regular basis. However, it was time for Bella and me to make it on our own. We could do it, one step at a time.

It was a little over a year after our last session when we heard from him again. When our landline rang, Bella stood up to get the phone, confusion on her face as she apparently didn't recognize the number. I listened to her half of the conversation with one eyebrow raised.

"Hello? Jake, hi! What a nice surprise. No, please don't apologize. It's absolutely fine. Yes, we're both good – great actually." Bella looked down, rubbing circles on her protruding belly. Our son was only a few short weeks away from making his appearance. Yes, we were definitely doing great.

"I'm going to take it you're calling for a reason, unless you randomly call your ex-clients at home on a Saturday night?"

I was intrigued as her face broke out into a huge grin.

"Absolutely, Jake, I think Nessie would still love to meet you."

The End.

Apologizing in advance for the big A/N here:

1. Thanks to each of you for reading and reviewing, it means so much to me.

2. Thanks Lolo84 and Capricorn75, pre-reader and beta. Love you both!

3. Sorry I haven't replied to reviews from last chapter - I will get to them I promise. I've been a little busy...

4. Baby Canuck - Little (5lbs 15oz) Miss EMMA - arrived on Friday Marc 29th two weeks early. I had to wait for the OR to open up so I labored on my own for a while but she was born safe and perfect. So far she's a good baby, very sleepy and not the best at nursing but I think we'll keep her. Big Brother and Big Sister could be more in love. My son whispered she was 'Amazing!" and my daughter exclaimed that she was "Precious".

5. Again, thank you so much for reading this story. I was overwhelmed by so many who could relate on so many different levels from Edward's bullying, to their marriage problems, to the two of them finding each other and falling back in love. Isn't that what marriage really is - falling in love with the same person over and over again.

Sending my love to you all. One day I will put out another story but no guarantees on when - I have a feeling I'm going to be a bit busy for a while.

PS Seven-Year Itch has been nominated in the poll to find the Top Ten Favourite Fics completed in March over on www . twifanfictionrecs . com
Thank you for the nomination 3

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