IS IT HARD UNDERSTANDING, I'M INCOMPLETE
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN MCR or any of their music, any of the characters, or anything… barely some imagination… barely…
A/N: guys I'm sorry to tell you that I'm leaving on vacations for about a month next week, so this may be the last chapter I upload in about that long, I promise to try and write as much as I can so I'm not so behind and I don't loose the rhythm of the story. Hope you like it, I made is special to make up for future absence :)
Chapter 21
Chocolate Cake and Pink Candles (FPOV)
I woke up some time later alone and cold in Gerard's car. I tried looking around to see if I could recognize my surroundings, but I was still a little foggy from waking up, plus everything was pitch black except for a single light hidden behind some bushes a couple feet away. The music was still playing softly in the car, but it wasn't coming from the stereo, but instead from Gerard's phone on the dashboard.
I really was a heavy sleeper, I never felt Gerard leave the car or anything, and I didn't know how long it was since he left either, but I was sure he wasn't ditching me here in the middle of nowhere, I mean that would be like the worse break up ever. Hey, yeah, sorry but this isn't working so… good luck finding your way back to the city, oh, and be careful of the wolfs and all that scary shit hiding in the dark. Yeah, unlikely.
I decided to call Gerard since I had no idea where he was, and I was just a little terrified to go out into the darkness all by myself, so this seemed like a safe choice, but it wasn't until I recognised his ringtone blasting on the dashboard that I realized the stupidity of my actions.
I hung up and sighed, what the hell was I supposed to do now? Head towards the mysterious light? I mean it was either that or stay in the car forever, and by forever I mean until I got really hungry or have to pee, or most likely, until Gerard came back.
I was bracing myself to run in case I ran into a mugger, or bear, or Sasquatch or whatever the hell as hiding out there. I mean I didn't even know where I was, was this like a city? A dark alleyway? A beach? The twilight zone? Why would Gerard leave me alone and helpless here?
I was about to make a run for it when I heard a tap on my window scaring the living shit out of me, I mean I seriously think I jumped a feet in the air, I almost hit my head on the roof of the car I jumped so hard, but I wasn't exactly tall so I was safe.
I heard that beautiful laughter through the glass and opened the door glaring at him as he stood there trying his best to hold it in.
"I could've died you know?" I said exaggerating. He just nodded his head trying hard not to break, biting his lips.
"It could've been a robber! Or a bear!" I explained.
"Yeah I know, because there are so many of those around here." He said sarcastically walking closer to the car.
"Well I didn't know that," I excused myself, "Where are we anyway?" I asked walking out of the car, it was freezing out here and I craved for a second the warm comfort the car provided, but then Gerard hugged me and took off his jacket to put it on me, he provided more warmth and security any car ever could.
"Surprise!" he said kissing my cheek and grabbing my hand.
"Are you still doing that?" I sighed.
"Have you still not figured it out?" he laughed guiding me through the darkness.
"No, and hey what about my bag?" I stopped, halting him.
"Already took care of it, you're a really heavy sleeper." He chuckled looking back. "Come on, let's go inside, it's freezing out here." He tugged my hand and walked forward with a confident step while I stumbled behind him looking at the ground trying to make out the roots and stones so I wouldn't kill myself.
The second we got to the front door it hit me, I saw Gerard wiping his feet on the entrance mat and suddenly it all became too obvious.
"Wait are we at your cabin? Is this your family's cabin?" I asked him as I wiped my feet and we got inside. I had never been inside; I barely even saw the outside when I came to drop off the car with Gerard. This place was beautiful, with a big open living room right in front of us, and a huge warm fireplace in the middle making the whole place toasty and welcoming.
I saw our bags next to a big couch in front of the fireplace, and to the right a light on, in what seemed to be the kitchen. It was the only light on seeing as the fire lit up the room just enough, but I could see to my left a small dark hallway, that I assumed lead to the bedrooms.
Gerard lead me to the couch and sat down bringing me down by the hand. He smiled at me and asked, "So, do you like it?"
"Gee… it's beautiful!" I was so happy right now; this was going to be the best birthday ever!
"I'm glad you like it, I just thought it would be better if we were alone for the weekend, I feel like I haven't seen you much lately." He said looking down at our hands.
"Yeah I feel the same, you've been sort of MIA lately." I told him trying to find his eyes. He never lifted his gaze.
"I know, and I'm sorry, it's my fault." He apologized.
"What have you been up to anyways?" I was glad this instance had happened so I could figure out where the hell he had been all this days.
"Nothing… it doesn't matter," he seemed sad and reluctant to talk about it. "We're here now, and we're together, and that's all that matters right?" he put on a smile and looked at me cheerfully though it didn't reach his eyes.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so." I smiled back; he kissed my lips and stood up heading to the kitchen.
-I guess it's kind of romantic that he wanted to spend the whole weekend with me, celebrate my birthday and have all this time just to ourselves.
-Yeah, or maybe… he didn't want me in his house because the blonde dude is staying there. Think about that.
-Or he is just doing this really sweet gesture and you're ruining it by over thinking.
-Maybe he's been with that dude all week and he felt guilty so he took you away, I mean who wants to spend a weekend stuck with the boyfriend AND the bimbo lover.
-Why can't this just be a calm weekend with my boyfriend, celebrate my birthday, eat so much candy I feel like puking, and just not think about all this shit?
-Listen I wouldn't bring it up if the thought weren't already buzzing through your head. Admit it, at some level you think this whole escapade has something to do with the bimbo.
-Maybe he didn't spend all week with the bimb-with the dude, but he spent all week busy planning this surprise, and I'm ruining it, thinking he has ulterior motives and all that shit.
-Yeah that, or…
"Hey, what's wrong? You've been staring at the fire for like ten minutes straight, I don't think you've even blinked." Gerard chuckled waving a hand in front of my face.
I blinked and looked at him, then my surroundings, the table in front of us was now filled with bowls with chips and popcorn and candy. I stared at the table for a second then looked up at him.
"Who's the blonde guy?" the question slipped from my mouth before I could stop it, it was like my brain took over and threw my filter out of the window. I just sat there, not blinking, not taking a single breath, just looking at him, and waiting for an answer.
At first he looked confused, he looked around for a second, probably looking for a blonde guy, but when he saw my face and realize I hadn't moved it suddenly dawned on him. His face became serious and his eyes became hard, emotionless.
"No one." He said.
"Mikey said he was your friend." I said softly, I wasn't looking for a fight, I wasn't looking for a sympathy lie, I just wanted the truth, and I was really hoping the truth was that he was no one.
"He is… kind of, not really." He said looking down. His façade was breaking.
"Why is he staying at your place?" I said barely above a whisper.
"He needed a place to crash, we're sort of doing business together, so I offered him a place to stay for the week." He sighed, he looked sad, not his face, but his eyes.
"Is he gone?"
"Tomorrow morning."
"Why… why didn't you tell me about him?" I tried to say, but my voice cracked at the end.
"I didn't think you'd care, we were just talking about some plans for the future." I knew he was telling me the truth, 'cause I could tell immediately when he was lying, but still there was something he wasn't telling me.
"There's something you're not telling me… what is it?" my voice couldn't rise above a breath so I was glad we were alone, the only thing louder than me being the fire crackling behind him.
I saw his eyes water and his lip quiver, but then he took a deep breath and regained control and his face went back to neutral, "Nothing you need to worry about right now, I promise." He walked forward and kneeled in front of me so we were face to face.
"Did you have anything with him?" I got out looking at his chest, I wouldn't be able to be at peace unless I knew for a fact my brain was lying to me, until he said straight to my face he actually was just a friend, a business partner, no one.
"Is that what you're worried about? That I had something with him? That I cheated on you?" he wasn't angry, he wasn't yelling, and that was good, he was just surprised.
I lifted my eyes and looked at him a single tear rolled down my face and I looked away again, I felt stupid for thinking about it, I knew Gerard wasn't capable of cheating on me, he wasn't like that, he was a good guy.
"I'm sorry." I whispered to him.
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead hugging me tight, I wrapped my arms around his waist and relaxed in his embrace. "No baby, don't apologize, I guess you had every right to think that, I have been acting weird, and I knew you saw me get in the car with Alex yet I never mentioned him or explained myself, so let me apologize for my behaviour." He said in my ear, then pulled back to look me in the eyes, "And just so we're clear, no, I never cheated on you, and I never will. I never had nor will I ever have something with Alex. In case you forgot he's not exactly my type, I don't really like guys, I just like you. You're my exception." He smiled to me, and I believed him, he was being honest and I could tell that annoying voice in my head was finally silent.
"Are we okay now? Is there anything else bothering you?" he asked holding my face in his hands. I shook my head smiling and leaned to kiss him. "Good, 'cause I got cake." He chuckled and stood up walking in the direction of the kitchen.
He came back a second later with a chocolate cake in his hands. He walked to me and kneeled again in front of me holding the cake up so I could blow out the candles. The cake had a chocolate layer and on top had seventeen lit pink candles, I leaned in to blow them and read the green glaze inscription between the candles on the centre on the cake.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAG
I LOVE YOU
My breath hitched and I looked at him baffled. My mouth wouldn't close and my eyes couldn't stop blinking. He had a small, shy smile on his face and it took only a second for a small chuckle to leave my chest and a tear to escape my eyes.
I blew the candles and leaned over the cake grabbing his face, "I love you too." I whispered against his lips and kissed him softly. I pulled back to look at him, our noses still touching, his eyes were watering too. I looked down at the cake he had lowered that now rested on his legs and took one hand from his face. I swiped my finger through the word FAG and put the glazing on his nose and lips. He tried to lick it all off but he couldn't reach his nose, so I kissed it off and then kissed his lips again, they tasted sweet from the sugar and salty from the tears, and everything was perfect.