A/N: Well I can already tell this is gonna be way longer than Pokéflute of Time :P
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Pichu used the Song of Soaring to warp himself and Clefairy back over to Romani Ranch. As they arrived they saw Igglybuff frolicking around another Pokémon, who was hitching up a Rapidash to a large wagon filled with cartons of milk.
"Hey there, Iggly. We came back to - WOAH!"
"Is this going to be a regular thing with you?" Clefairy asked irritably as Pichu started stammering incoherently at the sight of the other Pokémon, who just so happened to be a Jigglypuff.
"Oh hi, Scyther! You came back! This is Igglybuff's big sister!" Igglybuff greeted.
"...Is he all right?" asked Jigglypuff, looking at Pichu rather strangely as he kept stammering. Finally Clefairy lost her patience and kicked him in the head.
"...Sorry, I just had a Twilight Zone moment."
"Right. Now Igglybuff told me that last night you help protect the ranch from 'aliens'." Jigglypuff grabbed Pichu and pulled him in close. "I swear, if you drugged her milk - "
Pichu was shocked. "Wait - what? No way! It was all her idea, I swear!"
"Hmph. Well anyway, I have to make this delivery of milk over to Clock Town, so you can ride over in the wagon if you want. I'll be a few minutes getting ready, so feel free to look around."
Deciding he wanted very badly to get away from Jigglypuff, Pichu quickly wandered off and explored and eventually walked into a small Torchic Shack adjacent to the ranch. Sitting in the middle of it was a very emo-looking Dragonair, and fluttering and pecking around him were a bunch of adorable little Torchics.
"Sigh... I heard the moon is gonna fall," he muttered, not seeming affected by the cuteness of the Torchics. "I heard that it's gonna take all of Termina out with it."
"You heard about it? There's also plenty of evidence right above your head, you know," said Clefairy.
"It's no matter, though..." Dragonair said drearily. "What's one more thing to add to the darkness and hopelessness that is my life... all life is pointless and fleeting... despair is all around us..."
Pichu started looking very annoyed. "I'm starting to feel that killing urge again. Let's get outta here."
"...My one regret is that I won't get to see these little Torchics grow up and reach their prime."
Clefairy turned back around. "That's seriously your only regret in life?" she scoffed at him. "What a sad, pathetic life you lead. Not like me. I have big plans for the future. I'm going places, man. That's why I'm following around this dumb yellow kid who keeps picking his nose... hang on, that came out wrong."
"Hey, wait a minute... I think we can actually help this guy out!" Pichu pulled out the Bremen Mask. "Remember? That guy said we can use this mask to make Pokémon instantly mature!"
"...He never said any such thing."
"You gotta read between the lines. Anyway, check this out!" Pichu put the mask on, then pulled out the Pokéflute of Time and began playing a brisk march as he strutted around the pen. As he marched past each one of the Torchics, they perked their heads up and immediately began following after him until they had all formed a neat single file line.
Clefairy watched all this. "Okay, I still don't see how this is - "
Suddenly, just as the last Torchic fell into line, one by one they were all consumed by a puff of smoke and transformed into huge muscular Blazikens.
"WHAT IN THE - " Clefairy's reaction was very loud and very unprintable.
"Holy guacamole!" Dragonair squeed very loudly at the sight of all the Blazikens. "They're all so handsome and buff... that's it! I don't have any regrets about anything anymore! Here, you can have this mask from me." He pulled a pair of Buneary ears from out of nowhere and gave them to Pichu.
"DA-na-na NA-na-na NAAAAAA! I got the Buneary Hood!" Pichu cheered as he held his new mask up. Meanwhile Dragonair continued to swoon at the Blazikens as they all stood around flexing and striking poses.
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"I'm still trying to figure out what happened back there," Clefairy muttered as they returned to the ranch. "Wait a minute... why don't you just do that Bremen Mask thing on Riolu? It'll solve everybody's problems and we won't have to waste any more time helping out these stupid people."
Meanwhile, Jigglypuff had finished hitching up the wagon and was preparing to leave. "I'm heading out for Clock Town right now... if you two want a ride back, hop on the wagon."
"Awesome! Let's go!" Pichu cheered, doing exactly that.
Clefairy gave him a look. "But we just came from Clock Town."
"Yeah, but that time we had to walk over like a couple of suckers!"
"No we didn't, you warped us here."
"Wha - " Pichu didn't get to ponder this before the Rapidash started to move and the wagon began rolling off. Clefairy sighed and floated up to join Pichu as they traveled out of the ranch.
"Actually, I'm glad for the company tonight," Jigglypuff admitted as she drove the wagon. "Our father died a while back, and my sister and I have had to take care of the ranch all by ourselves... it gets a bit lonely..."
"I'm sorry, did we ask for your life story?" Clefairy asked irritably, resting her head in her hand.
"Say, what are folks back in town saying about that moon?" asked Jigglypuff, gazing up at the very large chunk of rock in the sky. "I have friend back in town, you know... her name is Vulpix. I suppose I'm worried about her." She sighed. "The day after tomorrow is her wedding day, you know. Her fiancée... he and I are good friends. I admit I may have had feelings for him once..."
Pichu sat up in interest. "Woah! You mean Vulpix's mom thought he ran off with you?! What a scandal! I can't wait to tell everyb - MHHFRGH!" He was cut off as Clefairy slammed an empty milk carton over his head.
"Are you sure you didn't get kicked in the head by one of the horses?" Jigglypuff asked impatiently before turning ahead and gasping. "What in the - the road..."
Pichu pulled the milk carton off his head in time to see a fence had been erected directly in their path, blocking off the way back to Clock Town. "Woah. Uh... I didn't do it."
"Just perfect... we'll have to take the detour through ugly country," Jigglypuff muttered. Pichu and Clefairy suddenly began to grow wary as Jigglypuff turned the wagon around and set off down an adjacent road. They quickly realized they were headed directly for the Gorman Track.
"Igglybuff tells me you're a pro with Razor Leaves, boy... I'm getting us through here as fast as I can, but if any pursuers come after us, I want you to stick them until they stop moving. Got it?"
"...Wait, what? I don't know if I..."
"HOOOOOAAAAAAUGH!"
"Son of a b*tch..."
Two masked figures suddenly came charging out of the darkness, bellowing at the top of their lungs and waving pitchforks above their heads as they rode their Rapidashes directly toward the wagon. Though they were both wearing Lampent Masks over their heads, it was obvious they were Raticate and Watchog.
"I suppose now's not the time to point out their masks don't have eyeholes either..." Clefairy said nervously.
"I knew it was them!" Jigglypuff swore loudly, driving the wagon as fast as she could as Pichu and Clefairy started to panic. "They blocked off the road and forced us to come this way! They must be after my supply of milk bottles!"
Pichu looked very nervous. "Uh, actually... this might be my fault... my horse and I may have kinda sorta burned their house down."
"YOU WHAT?!"
"Look, we can sit here playing the blame game or we can kick those guys' asses before they get us!"
"THERE'S THAT LITTLE YELLOW PUNK!" Raticate roared, brandishing his pitchfork. "Let's stick him until he's so full of holes he's gotta pee out of his armpits!"
"IF SO MUCH AS ONE MILK CARTON GETS BROKEN I AM PARADING YOUR HEAD AROUND CLOCK TOWN ON A PIKE!" Jigglypuff shrieked as Pichu leapt into action. He jumped to the back of the wagon and began flinging Razor Leaves as fast as he could, striking both of their pursuers multiple times and causing them to fall back. But no matter how many times they were hit, they kept on roaring in determination and resuming their pursuit of the wagon.
"C-MONEY! WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING?!" Pichu screamed, growing increasingly desperate.
"Let's see, if those guys catch you they'll kill you. If you break the milk bottles Jigglypuff will kill you. I on the other hand have no stake in any of this. So yeah, good luck with that." She sat back and started chugging a milk bottle.
"FOR &*?#'S SAKE - " Pichu lost his patience and started throwing Razor Leaves faster and faster, but Raticate and Watchog were maneuvering their horses from side to side and out of the line of fire, and whenever they did get hit they just shook it off like it was nothing. Before long Pichu had run out of ammo and their pursuers still weren't letting up.
"HOO-WEE! We got you good this time, you little brat!" Raticate's mount put on a burst of speed and charged directly at Pichu, Raticate thrusting his pitchfork at him. Whipping around in panic, Pichu finally grabbed an enormous milk carton several times his size and hurled it at Raticate, causing it to shatter against his head and splashing milk in his eyes.
"WHAT WAS THAT?! DID I JUST HEAR A MILK CARTON BREAK?! THAT'S IT, I'M HAVING RODENT FOR DINNER TONIGHT!" Jigglypuff screamed. In the meantime, Raticate was blinded by the milk in his eyes and was howling in fury. Unable to see where he was going, he caused his horse to swerve wildly to the left and crash directly into Watchog's horse. Both Gorman Brothers screamed as they flew off their mounts and crashed to the ground far off the main road... and then randomly exploded in an enormous mushroom cloud.
"DUDE! That was freaking AWESOME!" Pichu cheered, dancing around in celebration.
"I hate Termina... I hate Termina... I hate Termina..." Clefairy muttered.
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Several minutes later, Jigglypuff had finally managed to drive the wagon all the way back to the entrance to Clock Town, making the rest of the journey relatively undisturbed.
"Well, I suppose you managed to save most of the milk," she said after she'd pulled up in front of the entrance to town and Pichu and Clefairy hopped off the wagon. "It's more than I could have managed on my own... and I know the milk bar will be grateful for this shipment. So, I think you deserve a reward."
She presented Pichu with Romani's Mask, which resembled the head of a Miltank. "This is a very exclusive mask that will allow you entrance into the milk bar. It's a sign that I recognize you as an adult!" she said cheerfully, but then her expression turned deadly. "And it also means you can be tried as an adult if you do anything with Igglybuff."
"...Oh, yeah, got it. See ya later then!" said Pichu as Jigglypuff got back on the wagon and drove it into town. Then he put the mask on and turned around to show Clefairy the cow on his head. "So how do I look?"
Clefairy looked him up and down. "Well if you've never been beaten up behind the playground before, you will be now."
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Dawn of
THE FINAL DAY
-24 Hours Remain-
"Hey there, fruit pie!" Pichu greeted Vulpix as he and Clefairy left their room in the inn. "We told Riolu everything so he must have come for you last night, right? Did you two have a romantic evening filled with horrible, disgusting things?"
Vulpix looked nervous at his prodding. "Oh, well... actually, he hasn't shown up yet..."
Pichu frowned. "What? That stupid two-timing... wait here a minute."
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"Hey asshole!" shouted Pichu, marching into Riolu's hideout with a long length of rope and a ball gag in his hands. "I didn't play Cupid for you and Vulpix so you could go run off with a cream puff! You get your ass over there right now or I'll - "
"Oh, are you looking for Riolu?" asked the person waiting in the room. Surprisingly it wasn't Riolu at all, but rather the Scrafty owner of the Curiosity Shop. "Sorry, you missed him. He left last night."
"What? Oh come on! I just got the Magical Growth-Accelerating Mask and everything!"
"He mentioned you, though..." said Scrafty, looking thoughtfully at Pichu. "See, I've known Riolu since he was a Riolu... wait, I mean since he was a Riolu the first time, not whatever the hell's happened to him now. But once I saw him with that Ninetales Mask I gave him a long time ago, I knew it was him."
"Yes, yes, more shared histories. It's a small Termina after all, we get it. Now just tell us where the hell he went or I'll sock your face in," said Clefairy.
"Last night, a customer came into my shop... a greedy thief named Sneasel," said Scrafty. "He was tryin' to sell me some kinda mask, and when Riolu saw it he just went berserk and went chasing after the guy, screaming something about blood and vengeance and all that. He probably followed him all the way to Ikana Canyon, where the thief's hideout is... and he said if you came looking for him, I should give you this."
He pulled out a letter with a shiny pink and purple seal. "It's a letter to his mom. He wants you to give it to her."
"Well, that was an anticlimactic end to this side quest. Can I at least have the mask too?" asked Pichu, pointing at the Ninetales Mask which Riolu had apparently left behind.
Scrafty looked at it. "Kid, this is a gift I gave to Riolu years ago. It's his mask of memories and holds a lot of sentimental value for him."
"I'm not hearing a no," said Pichu, yanking the mask off the table and strutting out the door.
––
Before setting off to deliver the letter, Pichu and Clefairy warped back to the Mountain Village in order to collect something very important.
"Hey there, kid. You got here just in time," said Timburr as they walked into the Mountain Smithy. "We reforged your Leaf Blade into something much stronger. Check it out!" He gave Pichu his Leaf Blade, which together with the Gold Dust had been made into a much more powerful Shiny Leaf. Don't think too hard about it.
"HUZZAH!" Pichu cheered, hugging his blade and not seeming to notice that it was slicing him up. "Aw man, I missed this thing so much!"
"I don't see why. You caused enough property damage without it," said Clefairy.
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Night of the Final Day
-12 Hours Remain-
"This is ridiculous. We've been looking all over town for Riolu's mom and can't find her anywhere," Clefairy griped. Once again Clock Town had become empty and deserted, the last few tenants futilely fleeing for their lives as the enormous moon grew closer and closer. "She probably ran away with everyone else! Let's just get out of here while we still can!"
"But... but... I wanted to give her the letter... I was gonna get a prize!" Pichu pouted. "Oh, forget it. Let's just give it to the postman to deliver. Then it's his problem."
As the clock struck midnight, signaling the start of the Carnival of Time which was still taking place for some ungodly reason, Pichu and Clefairy walked into the Post Office to find the Mail Pelipper curled up on his bed and sobbing.
"I want to flee..." he whimpered. "I want to get out of here... but... there are still so many letters I haven't read! I... I can't stop until I've gone through everyone's mail and gone over every last juicy detail! It's a sickness..."
Clefairy took Riolu's letter and flung it at him. "Knock yourself out. Literally, if you don't mind."
The Pelipper straightened up in shock. "Oh! This... this mail has a priority seal! I MUST READ IT!" He ripped it open and pored over it, making a bunch of weird satisfied noises as he did. Clefairy promptly started banging her head against the wall.
"That was awesome," he sighed. "I finally feel free to get out of this crapsack town! YIPPEE!" He grabbed his Postman's Hat and gave it to Pichu. "I won't be needing this mask anymore. You can have it!"
"They're really pushing the envelope of what qualifies as a mask around here," Clefairy muttered as he flew out the door.
––
"So, what exactly did we accomplish these past three days?" Clefairy griped as they stepped into the street and gazed up at the moon. "Nothing, that's what. All we did was help fix miniscule problems with random people's lives when they're all about to die anyway. We were supposed to relax, dammit! We accomplished literally nothing from all of this!"
"Hey, that's not true! I got a potential love interest! And like twenty new masks!" Pichu pouted.
"And unless one of those masks can magically blow up the moon, it was still a waste of time. Now please, just play the Song of Time and get us out of here. If I'm forced to relive these days over and over with you I at least want to spend them making progress towards getting rid of you."
"But we still have six hours," said Pichu. "Maybe there's somebody else we can help!"
"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" shrieked a Snorlax standing on the roof of the Post Office, throwing himself to the ground and landing on top of Clefairy.
"Song of Time it is," said Pichu, playing the magical melody and warping them away.
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A/N: I'm saving the Milk Bar for when Pichu has all his transformation masks and can get the Circus Leader's Mask. But YES the side quests are finally done! Time to get back on track!