Emma

After an hour I knew I should have gone back and apologized. Thirty minutes after that I knew I should have gone up to my room and waited for Ryan. After two hours I just wanted to crawl into the sand and die. I was mad at myself, at Ryan, at Lorraine. I could feel myself becoming invisible and I wondered why what ever it was that wanted me dead hadn't already come to take me away already. This was their chance, I was laying there lifeless as could be and nothing.

No giant wave came to pull me into the depths of the ocean. No one came onto the beach with a gun threatening to kill me if I didn't give them money. No one wanted me dead when I felt like giving up the most.

"It's so unfair," I said getting up and whipping the sand off my legs and butt. I looked back at the hotel and wondered if Ryan was so mad at me that he was refusing to see if I was okay or still alive. For gods sake I had been gone two hours. I was an emotional wreck right now and when I needed him the most he wasn't there. I decided to stay a little longer to get myself under control.

I walked to the waters edge and let the afternoon water touch my feet. I didn't want to be mad at him; he was probably just giving me space. I kicked the water around a bit trying to get it to my ankles. He still should have checked on me though, another part of my brain said. I walked into my knees and sighed. I was his guest on a work trip, he didn't have to check on me. I was just his roommate who he was having a small thing with, not his girlfriend.

"Going for a swim?" someone said behind me and I spun around hoping to find Ryan but instead I found Logan there with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

I shook my head and tried to speak but I couldn't so I just looked at him dumbly. Logan walked closer to the edge of the water until he was standing directly to my side, knees deep in ocean.

"I've heard you had quite the day," he said looking at me concerned.

"How did you find out?" I asked panicking. Did everyone know? Was I Ryan's crazy friend now?

"Buell was running some damage control earlier and I couldn't help but snoop," he saw my face turn red and right as I was going to leave he grabbed my hand. "Hey I didn't want you to worry, everything calmed down and if you go back there looking like someone who almost jumped off of a balcony, you're going to ruin Buell's work."

I stopped trying to move and just looked at his hand that was still holding mine. He let it go after a while and smiled at me. I didn't know what to do except return the smile nervously.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really," I said quickly. I did but not with him. He seemed so genuinely concerned and nice but I didn't know him. He was handsome and kind but the way Ryan looked at him earlier had me a bit worried about his intentions.

He nodded and looked down. He turned around and groaned when he noticed something behind us. I turned and found Ryan standing with his arms crossed over his chest looking at me like I had three heads.

"Such a cock block," I heard Logan say loud enough for only me to hear. I couldn't help but giggle but I stopped when I saw Ryan step forward and look at Logan like he wanted to rip his head off. I stepped out of the water and reached for Ryan.

"Thank you for talking to me Logan," I said and pulled Ryan back to where my shoes were, "I'm glad someone offered to keep me company." I knew I was mostly saying what I was to make Ryan feel a little bad and it was working because he looked at me with sad eyes. "Goodnight Logan."

I pulled at Ryan with all my strength and when he started cooperating I let go. We didn't speak as we walked through the lobby or in the elevator. When we got to our room I walked so fast to my drawers and took out a change of clothes that he didn't even have time to say a word before I was in the bathroom. I decided to take a quick shower and shave, shampoo and condition twice. I took my time combing my hair and plucking my eyebrows. I went through my nighttime routine and changed slowly.

When I came out of the bathroom I hoped that Ryan had fallen asleep but I'd been hoping in vain because I found him sitting on the couch looking directly at me.

"I'm sorry," I said nervously. I stood by the door like a child ready to be punished.

I was shocked when I saw his face crumble and become tired looking. He stood up and walked over to me to hug me tightly. He buried his face in my neck and I could feel him breathing me in as if he was afraid I would disappear. I laid my cheek on his chest and let one tear fall down, just one.

"Come here," he pulled me over to the bed and helped me up on it. I laid down and waited for him to take his shoes off to join me. He pulled the covers over us and pulled me close to him under them. "I was really scared today, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

I started to say sorry again but he stopped me with a kiss. He could interrupt me anytime if that was the way he was planning to do it. He smoothed my still wet hair out and ran his fingers through it as he continued to kiss me gently.

"What happened?" he asked after a while, "up in the room…how did I almost lose you?" I knew that behind those words there was more than fear that he could have lost his friend but I was even more afraid to ask him about it.

I shook my head and looked at my hand on his chest, "I don't know. It was like I was someone else, I wanted to end the hurt."

He pulled me into him tighter to the point where all I could do was just close my eyes and smell his cologne. My senses were filled with everything Ryan from the contours of his muscles around me and the sound of his heart beat that I could hear and feel under my hand. I had been just as close to losing him as he had been to losing me.

I gasped and looked up at him. He met my eyes and I knew that I had lied to him. I wanted more with him than I had let on. I wanted to say it but I couldn't find the words so I just kissed him again. He was surprised and confused I could tell but he kissed me back anyway. There was a moment of hesitance where he wasn't sure what kind of kiss it was but he took a risk and covered my body with his.

It wasn't like I had a new sense of appreciation for my life but I didn't want to lose anymore time with him. I wouldn't see him until Halloween which was still two weeks away. So I took advantage of our time together now. I spread my legs under him and let him move in closer to me. I knew I was throwing up a big white flag up but I still pulled away and met his eyes.

"I thought you didn't want anything too serious," I wanted to say that I was seriously in love with him but I snapped out of my momentary lapse of logic long enough to come up with less cliché words.

I choked down my nervous giggle and replied with, "this feels good, it feels right." He nodded and I was glad he agreed. I was glad I wasn't the only one feeling 'it'.

Can we all just assume they had sex? Loving, caring, gentle sex? There are people running around my house right now and I don't feel like writing a sex scene especially since this was hard enough to write considering how wrong it felt to write about Ryan in his current state.

I'll write a nice considerate love scene soon. Maybe two ;) Perhaps more if I'm up for it. I highly suggest you go and follow SKYSANE for actual R-NC-17 one shots or short stories.