From the night he had declared his unforgiving feelings, Ventus only spoke very curtly to Roxas.
Around them, Axel constantly felt like a rock had settled in his stomach. Because of this, he had returned to restlessness. In his sleep, he had dreams of more figures and their actions. When he woke, he dreaded to discover who the figures in his nightmares would become.
The heavy rains would pass, sometimes turning to snow when the coldness outside grew. Axel watched the storms roll by from Roxas's bedroom. They had not been completely alone since the Saturnalia, and Axel longed for the heat of Roxas's body once more.
"You couldn't have kept that secret forever; I don't blame you for still feeling guilty." Roxas murmured to Axel one dreary day. Sol was so hidden by the thick clouds that Axel could not even tell what time of day it was.
Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's waist, but his touch could not satisfy Axel's desire. Still, Axel squeezed Roxas's hands.
"It's not about that anymore," Axel sighed, "I have dreams every night about people doing terrible things. I see death, I see more runaways...and the worst part is I don't even know who the people will be until it happens..."
"I see how that would trouble you," Roxas agreed. "Things will get better, I know they will..."
Axel could hear in Roxas's tone that he wasn't sure, especially with the season coming close to turning and the wedding approaching.
"I'll feel wrong to continue to love you when you've married Xion," Axel mentioned.
"Why would you feel that way? Xion doesn't truly love me, and clearly I don't love her." Roxas pointed out.
"It'll just feel wrong to me," Axel decided.
Roxas stared at the floor. "I want a way out of this marriage, but with the days passing by I find it harder to worm my way out..."
"It's not as simple as just calling it off?" Axel asked with a hint of jesting in his tone.
"I wish," Roxas scoffed.
The light behind the clouds soon faded, indicating nightfall. The clouds gave way one last time to shower the world below in cold rain.
Axel watched the droplets splatter against the window, and he bowed his head in sadness. Another day passing by him, another day closer to losing Roxas.
"Please don't look so sad," Roxas mumbled, "it makes me sad."
"I can't help it; I am sad." Axel replied.
Roxas drifted over from his bed and embraced Axel again, burying his face in Axel's back. Axel felt a warm wetness sliding down his skin, and he realized Roxas was crying.
Axel's heart twisted, and tears formed at the corners of his eyes. He felt like a giant sponge being squeezed until the liquid inside him spilled out.
He whirled around, dropping to his knees and gripping onto Roxas as if he were to slip away at any moment.
"Don't cry," Axel laughed weakly, "it won't be so bad..."
"What won't, losing you? I can't be lonely again, I just can't..." Roxas buried his head into Axel's shoulder.
"We should just be happy we're both here right now. We're safe in each other's arms..." Axel said, stroking Roxas's hair.
"I-I suppose..." Roxas sniffed, lifting his head. "I really love you, Axel. I didn't think that was a real feeling before you..."
"I love you too, Roxas." Axel managed a faint smile. He closed his eyes and guided Roxas's lips to his.
Axel woke from another fitful night, his dreams throwing him into reality. In his dream, a figure desperately pounded on a door in front of them, begging for admittance. Axel barely recognized the door as the one to the house before being ripped out of sleep. As for the figure, even the voice was distorted to become unrecognizable.
In the silence of the night, he could only hear the harsh rain pattering against the house. But very faintly, he heard a noise like...someone banging on the door.
Axel felt as if one of Jupiter's thunderbolts had struck him, and the shock coursed through his body. The dream was coming true now. Who would be here at this hour, though?
He crept to the door, listening to the pounding outside. The banging was weak, as if the person behind the door had small hands. The muffled voice shouted, "Please, let me in! Roxas, Lord Ansem, somebody!"
He ripped the door open, and standing before him drenched from the rain was...
"Lady Xion?" Axel asked, and rushed to bowing to her.
"Forget my status, please let me in..." She begged.
Axel stepped aside, letting the poor girl inside. He closed the door behind them.
"Lady Xion, what brings you here at this hour? And...alone?" Axel asked.
"I-it's not important," Xion said dismissively. Her teeth chattered, and she shivered. Every piece of clothing appeared soaked.
"I'll fetch you a blanket, and start up the fire." Axel offered. He rushed her over to the kitchen, lighting one of the stoves and finding a wool blanket in the storage room. He flung the blanket over her, though she really needed to change out of her wet garments.
"Axel, what in Jupiter's name is going on in here...?" Larxene grumbled, rubbing her eyes. She blinked the focus into them, finding the two huddled in the kitchen. "Is that...Lady Xion?"
Larxene quickly bowed, but Xion shook her head in dismissal.
"You're soaking wet; you must change out of those garments." Larxene insisted.
"I have no clothes to change into," Xion said.
"Perhaps Mistress Naminé will loan some of hers." Larxene said, rushing off. She disappeared before Axel could warn her about the time of night, and how it would be rude to wake the masters at this hour.
In a few moments, Axel heard footsteps, though it sounded like more people had awoken. Axel's stomach turned, fearing punishment.
Naminé arrived, holding some fresh garments for Xion to change into. Behind her stood a bewildered Roxas.
"Xion, what are you doing here? Why are you out all alone?" Roxas urged, rushing to her side.
"Roxas..." Xion wept into her hands. "I ran away."
"What for?" Roxas took her hands, but she recoiled quickly.
"I'm terrified for this marriage, so I tried to run away. But there was no place I could go, besides here..." Xion sobbed, shaking her head. "I'll be a terrible wife, Roxas."
"I understand, but with each encroaching day we have less and less time. We must learn to accept our fate..." Roxas insisted.
Axel's stomach twisted. He glanced around the room, looking for a convenient excuse to escape. He knew Roxas was only trying to be kind, but still the reality of the situation pained him.
"I-I'll go fetch another blanket." Axel decided.
"There's one on my bed you can use," Roxas replied, noticing Axel's eagerness to escape.
Axel rushed out of the room, going toward Roxas's room. As he gathered the wool in his arms, he buried his face into the blanket. If this was meant to be an escape from the marriage, it didn't seem like one. The blanket smelled of olive oil, and of Roxas, though Axel couldn't describe what his lover smelled like. His heart twisted again, and he clenched the blanket to prevent himself from crying again.
As he made his return to the kitchen, noises came from the halls around him. Two figures met him in the atrium, and in the fading light coming from the stove fire he could barely make out Ansem and Ventus.
"What's going on? I need my rest..." Ventus muttered.
"Axel, what is all the commotion?" Ansem wondered.
"Master Ansem, Lady Xion has run away and come here." He answered. "The reason is...unknown."
"I see," Ansem nodded, "where is she now?"
"She's in the kitchen by the fire." Axel replied.
Ansem walked briskly past Axel into the kitchen, but Ventus lingered in the atrium. He glared at Axel, and Axel wondered if Ventus had figured out Axel had known about Terra's disappearance.
Carrying the blanket into the kitchen, Axel returned to find Xion had changed into one of Naminé's robes. She still huddled next to the fire, shivering.
Axel handed the blanket to Roxas, whom wrapped it around Xion.
"Thank you," she mumbled weakly.
"Lady Xion, what is the meaning of this?" Ansem asked gently.
"Lord Ansem, it was very foolish of me to do this; I ran away because I fear the marriage between Roxas and me. But I suppose he has made the fear lessen."
"I understand, but this marriage is beneficial for the both of you. You two must come to understand your destinies." Ansem replied.
"We understand, Father," Roxas answered, "but for now, it is natural for us to be frightened..."
"Please, can I stay until morning?" Xion asked.
"Of course," Ansem said, "but in the morning will you return home?"
"I suppose it is the right thing to do..." Xion admitted.
"I will escort you home." Roxas offered.
There was a sharp rapping on the front door, and everyone in the room jumped.
Axel rushed to answer it, and standing in the rain was Saïx. Axel's blood chilled.
"S-Saïx, what brings you here?" Axel stammered.
"It appears my mistress has run away, and I figured this would be where she came. Is she here?" He asked.
Axel thought for a moment, pondering if he should tell Saïx the truth.
Just then, Xion appeared in the kitchen doorway.
Saïx's eyes perked when they fell upon Xion. "My lady, you must return home immediately."
"I'm staying the night here, Saïx; Roxas shall escort me home tomorrow morning. I understand it was foolish of me to run off, and Father will be very upset with me. Tell him to forgive me." Xion announced.
If Saïx was surprised by her statement, he did not let it show very clearly. "Very well. Lord Ansem, might I request permission to stay until the rain passes?"
"You may," Ansem offered. "You are more than welcome to stay till morning as well, if you wish."
"Thank you, but that is not necessary." Saïx replied.
"Well, with that settled, everyone return to bed." Ansem decided.
"You can come sleep in my room," Naminé offered to Xion, ushering her away.
Roxas offered a faint smile to Axel as a goodnight, and Axel nodded slightly.
Before Axel extinguished the fire in the stove, he believed he noticed Saïx speak to Ventus. As the light went out, he decided it was only a mirage from lack of sleep.
Translations:
- Aut Disce Aut Discede - Learn or leave