A/N: Alrighty, so that last chapter was actually the last chapter, and this is the first of the two one shots that accompany this story! This one is a flashback to basically how Raven and Octavia ended up together! Enjoy! xx

Raven sat up in her room, trying not to pay attention to the sound of her parents fighting. It was something she was used to hearing by now, but that didn't mean that it still didn't want to make her cry. Usually, at a time like this, she would escape through the back door of the house and trek over to Harper's house, or call Octavia and ask her to get her mom to pick her up and bring her there. She would even trek all the way to the beach to meet up with her friends if that was plausible. As it seemed, though, all of her friends were busy.

Sighing, Raven wished that it was the following year already. Freshmen year was mostly awful because she couldn't drive – she would have her license in about half a year, and things would get better at that point. She also hoped that by then, her parents would have either worked out their differences, or gotten a divorce. Whatever happened would be better than the way things were right now.

Desperate for a distraction, Raven decided to text Lexa. Despite having known the girl for about half a year now, she still wasn't necessarily completely comfortable around the girl. However, Raven knew that she was far too dependent on Octavia – that much was clear to probably anyone – and so it would probably be good for her to talk to Lexa.

Message: Lexa and Raven

Raven – Hey, what's up?

Lexa – Not much, everyone seemed to be busy tonight so I'm homebound. You too?

Raven – Yeah. Where's your house at again? I kind of feel like crashing your alone time – my house is… not a happy place right now.

Lexa – Come on over, doesn't bother me. I'll send you my address, one sec (I should probably know it by memory by now -.-)

Half an hour found Raven nearly all the way to Lexa's house. She liked Friday nights like this. All of the upperclassmen were hanging out at the movies or at Nathan Miller's house – since his older brother was a senior. All of the adults were usually home, relishing in the fact that a the week was coming to an end. So the town was even more quiet than normal, and Raven enjoyed the pleasant walk to Lexa's house.

When she reached it, and knocked on the door, her friend swung it open a moment later. "Hey," Lexa greeted, "come on in. My parents are out."

"I wish my parents were out," Raven said sadly, coming into the house. "Thanks for letting me come over. I figured that you'd made plans, since everyone else did."

"No, I don't really know many people besides you guys yet. Well, except for this one girl…" Lexa blushed a little and shook her head. "Never mind. You wanna come up to my room?" Raven nodded and followed the other brunette upstairs. The room was still pretty new looking – Lexa had a lot of things, but some of them were still set up in boxes rather than being organized into the empty shelves and things. "I'm kind of procrastinating unpacking."

Raven laughed. "It's been like seven months since you moved here."

"Yeah, but it's a lot of work," Lexa claimed, chuckling. Her phone suddenly beeped from her nightstand, and the taller girl jumped a little, immediately making to answer it.

"Ooh, who's that?" Raven asked, wiggling her eyebrows a little. "The girl you're talking to?"

"No," Lexa denied, though it was an obvious lie. "Okay, yeah. Her name is Haley. I don't think you guys know her, but she's really nice."

"You like her?"

Lexa nodded. "Yeah. I actually wanted to hang out with her tonight, but she was busy with her family. Apparently not busy enough that she can't text me, though. Kind of makes me wonder if she was actually busy, or just didn't want to hang out with me."

"I'm sure she wanted to if she's texting you," Raven insisted. "Have you dated girls before high school? Like when you lived in Chicago?"

Despite the fact that Raven already knew Lexa was gay, they hadn't talked about it much. Lexa seemed like mostly a private person, and Raven hadn't ever really thought to ask. Neither had any of their other friends, except for maybe Anya, who seemed to hang out with Lexa a lot more than any of the rest of their group. Lexa shrugged. "I kissed a couple of girls in Chicago, but I don't know, I knew that I was going to be moving for a while, so I tried not to start anything. Now, though, I'll be here for the next four years. So why not?"

"So this Haley girl… she's a freshmen too? I don't think I know anyone named Haley."

"No, she's a sophomore," Lexa admitted. Raven nodded, and silence fell between them for a moment as Lexa texted Haley back. Once finished, green eyes looked back up to Raven. "So, you wanna do something? Watch a movie or something?"

Raven shrugged. "I don't really care. I just needed to do something other than be alone in my room with my parents downstairs being… ugh, annoying. Normally I would've gone over to Octavia's, but she's on a date."

"Oh right, with that Finn guy, right?" Raven nodded weakly, and the concerned look on Lexa's face told Raven that she was not doing so well at hiding how she felt about the situation. "You don't like him?"

"He's really not a good guy. It's been like a month since this school year started, and he's already gone out with two other girls besides Octavia. And he slept with both of them. I haven't even slept with anyone yet, and neither has Octavia. I just… I don't want them to sleep together," Raven mumbled, looking down at her hands. Lexa sat down on her bed and patted the spot on it next to her, which Raven only noticed in her peripheral. Sighing, she went to sit next to Lexa.

"Well, you can't really control what she does. Don't worry about the virginity thing, though. It really doesn't make much of a difference whether you're a virgin or not – unless it's a personal thing that you care about a lot."

"Are you a virgin?" Raven asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

Lexa blushed a little and nodded. "Yeah. But like I said, it doesn't really matter."

"I just feel like she'd regret it if she slept with him," Raven muttered with another sigh.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"No. Octavia's kind of a free spirit, you can't really tell her what to do, you know?"

"Okay. Well. Have you told her that you have a crush on her?"

Raven's eyes went wide. "What? I don't!"

"Come on, Rae, don't lie to me," Lexa insisted, nudging the brunette a little. "You look at that girl like she's your world, first of all, and I know that friends care about each other, but none of us think about Octavia losing her virginity to Finn as the end of the world – I mean, as long as she consents and it's what she wants. But I can see that it's really bothering you."

"Yeah, well that doesn't mean that I have a crush on her!"

"But you do, don't you?"

The air was silent for a moment, and Raven felt her stomach clench painfully as she forced herself to nod, a sob escaping her lips as tears welled in her eyes. "Shit," she muttered. "Yeah, I do."

Lexa immediately softened, opening her arms and enveloping Raven in a tight hug. "Shh, it's going to be okay…"

"You don't understand, Lexa," Raven whispered. "I don't just have a crush on her. I've been in love with her… for a long time. I mean, it took me a while to realize that, and I don't know if I'm gay or what, but I love her… and she doesn't seem to even feel the same way."

"You should talk to her," Lexa murmured, squeezing Raven tight before letting go of her slightly. Their eyes locked, and Raven looked attentively to the other girl. "Really. Even if she doesn't like you that way, it's going to eat you up forever unless you talk about it. It's the only way to get over anything, you know?"

"I just… I don't want her to hate me, you know?"

"She won't, Raven. You guys are best friends, and it's not like she would care that you're interested in girls at all."

Raven sniffed, wiping at the tears that were leaking out of her eyes. "Ugh, maybe I could talk to her. I don't know. Maybe she won't even sleep with him, and it'll be fine. Do you think we can all hang out tomorrow at her place?"

Lexa nodded. "That's fine with me. And if you decide to talk to her and things don't go well, I'm here for you, okay?"

"So dish!" Anya exclaimed, grinning at Octavia as she settled comfortably into the desk chair. Octavia was seated on her bed, clearly trying to hold in her excitement, and Raven sat next to her. Lexa and Harper were on the rug on the floor, and all of them were looking at Octavia expectantly. Raven's heart was pounding.

Harper huffed. "Did you guys have sex, or not?"

Octavia finally smiled, nodding proudly. "We did."

"Was it good?" Lexa asked, her face twisting up into a somewhat disgusted look. Anya smirked at her reaction.

Now, Octavia's smile fell. "I… don't know? I haven't ever done it before, so how am I supposed to know if it's good or not? It… I mean, it kind of hurt, but it wasn't bad…" Raven lowered her gaze, trying to suppress the sick feeling gathering in her stomach. "It's kind of nice to have it over with, though."

"Do you think that you'll go out with him again?" Harper asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Octavia smiled again. "I don't know, maybe. He dates a lot of girls, so it probably won't last, but why not enjoy it while it does?" The girl looked to her best friend, and Raven could feel the gaze against her even as she stared down at the blankets in front of her. "Raven? You haven't said anything."

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Maybe later."

Later ended up being in a couple of hours, once the rest of the group had left, leaving just Raven and Octavia up in the latter's bedroom. Raven was hoping that Octavia hadn't remembered the conversation from earlier, but just as her luck lately had proven, that was unlikely to happen. "So, Rae, what's up? You wanna talk about what's bothering you? Is it your parents? Or did I do something?"

"It's not that you did something, really," Raven said slowly, wetting her lips nervously and making eye contact with her best friend. "I guess I just… I think that Finn is kind of an asshole, and I feel weird about the fact that you had your first time with him."

"I thought about that, really, so you don't need to worry about it. I'm not really expecting anything to come from it either. We used protection, so it was safe, and it's kind of a necessary experience, you know? It could've been a lot worse. So don't worry about me, okay? I can take care of myself." The way she said it was playful and caring, not like the way you see it in movies when the characters are bitter.

"I know you can," Raven promised.

Octavia smiled. "Good, so we can just hang out now? You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Raven wasn't okay.

It was the following Friday now, and where was Octavia? Out with Finn. Where had she been the past Wednesday? Out with Finn. That made three times. It wasn't supposed to happen that many times, Raven thought to herself, and she buried her face into her pillow as she wept.

Thankfully, her parents were out that night, so there was no screaming to listen to, and no one to hear her sobs.

"Eh, it starts to get the same after a couple of times," Octavia said, more to herself than to Raven, since the latter hadn't spoken in the past five minutes since the conversation started. "Makes me think that must be why he doesn't stay with girls long. The sex gets boring. Is that supposed to happen? It's just the same thing, and it doesn't even feel that good."

"Maybe it's a sign from the universe that you shouldn't do it anymore?"

Octavia chuckled. "Well, not with Finn anyway. He and I both decided last night not to do it anymore. Him, because he's Finn, but I just don't really want to keep it up. It was fun at first, but now it's pointless, and it's not going anywhere."

Raven perked up at hearing that. "So you're not sleeping with him anymore?"

"Nope."

"Okay."

Octavia gave her a curious look. "You sound a little happy about that? Have you been worried about that same thing as before?"

"No, I'm not really happy about it, and not really unhappy about it. I'm indifferent," Raven insisted.

"Raven. You're my best friend, I can tell when you're lying."

The other girl gave in. "Okay, yeah, I just don't feel like he deserves you, or sex with you. He's an asshole, and you're amazing. It's just not really fair." Octavia said nothing, and Raven didn't know if it was because she thought the comment was weird, or if she just didn't know what to say about it. "Sorry, I'll try to stay out of your business."

"Rae, are you mad at me?"

The question surprised Raven. "No, I'm not. Why would you think I was mad at you?"

"You just don't sound happy with me at all. Please, if something's wrong, tell me. I hate when I don't know what's going on in your head."

Raven's heart was pounding. "I… I just…" She shook her head, looking down and squeezing her eyes closed for a moment. A soft hand touched her arm gently, and then it moved to her chin and carefully prompted her to look up. When Raven's eyes met the worried green one across from her, she swallowed thickly. The words were about to sputter out, she realized, and her mind went through the list of things she could do to keep them from leaking.

The one that her subconscious selected, however, was extremely counterproductive.

She launched herself forward, her lips landing, perfectly aimed, on Octavia's. It was more than surprising when she felt Octavia kissing her back, but it was entirely expected when a few seconds later, Octavia gently pushed her off. Her eyes were filled with confusion. "Raven…"

"Shit, I'm sorry. That was dumb – I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I'll go. Shit, I need a ride, but I'll go."

"What? No, you're not going home, Raven," Octavia stated firmly. "We're going to talk about this, okay?"

"Please, Octavia, I don't want to talk about it."

"Well it's too late, because you just kissed me. We're talking about it."

Raven's shoulders drooped slightly as she gave in. "Okay."

The conversation was long, slow, and confusing. Raven did not want to admit that she was in love with her best friend, though Octavia seemed to think that that was definitely the case. Instead, Raven skirted around the actual truth of it, admitting that she'd had a crush on Octavia for a while, and expressing what she'd been feeling since the previous week when Octavia went out with Finn. She talked about how she'd talked to Lexa about it, but that she hadn't actually meant for the other girl to know about it. Octavia mostly nodded along, listening carefully. It wasn't until the end of the explanation that she actually spoke again.

"Rae, I'll openly admit that I've never really thought about you that way. But it's not that I think it's gross or something like that. So I don't want you to think that I think that. I just… need time to think about it, okay?"

Raven gave Octavia time – she was prepared to give her an eternity, though she had a slight hope that her best friend would accidentally forget it all entirely before their friendship could crumble. She spent more than a couple nights crying in her bed, the sound of her parents fighting almost always the background track to her own chorus of sobs. She texted Lexa about it a lot, and the other girl seemed to understand her. In fact, Lexa was actually really good at calming Raven down when she was in hysterics.

Two weeks passed, and by the end of them, Raven realized that she had actually spoken to Octavia less than she ever had since meeting her. It hurt, that was for sure, but she was sure that Octavia needed space as well as time. Unbeknownst to her, there had been many a longing glance from Octavia when Raven was nearby but not talking to her. And she wouldn't find out until weeks later that Octavia had actually had just as much of an emotional struggle in those weeks as she did. Different, of course, but it was equally hard for both of them.

"What are you doing later?" Raven asked Harper. It was the middle of their math class, seventh period, on Friday.

"We're all going to Octavia's, aren't we?" Harper asked, tilting her head. "Have you guys been talking less lately? It doesn't seem like you've been hanging out much."

Raven shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know. Guess we're just going down different paths."

"That… doesn't seem legit," Harper said slowly. "One of you without the other just feels… wrong, I don't know."

"Yeah well, we'll see," Raven muttered.

"You going to her place later?"

Raven shrugged. "I'll see if I can." That was a bullshit answer, and she knew that Harper knew it as well as she did. Raven could come and go from her house as she pleased – her parents didn't care one way or the other. Harper just nodded, though, and Raven moved her attention back to her math work.

When she was at home later, she found herself in her bed, under her blankets, scrolling through Octavia's Instagram on her phone. Yeah, she was that person. It wasn't her fault that Octavia was adorable in all of her photos, and it wasn't weird that she felt warm inside when she saw the posted selfies of her and her best friend. It was a nice way to feel good and feel awful at the same time.

She got a sudden text from Octavia, though, and the message appeared at the top of her screen.

Octavia – I'm outside, let me in.

Raven – Aren't you supposed to be at your place with everyone?

Octavia – Yeah, and so are you, but you're not, so I'm here. Let me in.

Raven sighed, setting down her phone and climbing out of her bed. Her house was eerily silent without the everlasting sound of her parents fighting, but it was always peaceful. She hurried to the front door, taking in a deep breath before swinging it open. Octavia stood in front of her door, her bike strewn across the grass beside the driveway. The fact that she'd biked all the way there was pretty impressive, and meant that she'd come despite her parents not being able to give her a ride.

"Hey," Octavia said.

"Hi."

"I don't think you know what time means," Octavia stated, stepping toward the door. Raven stepped back to let her in, staying silent. "Time doesn't mean that I don't want to talk to you for two weeks. Time just means I need to think about things without talking about them – but just thosethings."

"Yeah well, it's not like the past two weeks were easy for me," Raven muttered. "I just want to forget about it, okay?"

Octavia furrowed her eyebrows. "Forget about what? You kissing me and telling me that you have feelings for me? Yeah no, I'm not forgetting that, sorry."

"Why not? It doesn't even matter," Raven huffed out, turning around and starting toward her room. She heard the front door close behind her, and Octavia's footsteps followed her further into the house.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? Your feelings matter, Raven. And you haven't even heard what I have to say beyond that it was awful not talking to you more than a handful of times for two weeks," Octavia snapped. Raven clenched her teeth, opening her door and walking into her room. Octavia followed her in, and Raven finally turned back around, making eye contact with her best friend.

"Fine, go ahead."

Octavia froze, as though she hadn't expected Raven to give in and let her talk, and Raven was just about to shake her head, walk away maybe. Before she could, Octavia had taken a step forward and her hands had fallen on the sides of her face, her fingers burying into dark hair as her lips slammed into Raven's. Despite being incredibly surprised, Raven didn't miss a single beat, kissing Octavia back with intense fervor.

Raven felt herself getting lost in Octavia's touch and her kiss, and she stumbled backwards, somehow ending up on her bed with her best friend straddling her. She barely even noticed, though, because her mouth was being infiltrated by Octavia's curious tongue, and all she could focus on was that feeling.

It might have lasted for ages – Raven would have liked it to – but at some point, Octavia disconnected their lips and sat up a little, looking down at Raven. "Holy shit," Raven heard herself say again her will.

"Raven," Octavia said quietly, "you are my best friend, but you are more than that to me. And I'm probably an idiot for not realizing it sooner, or realizing that you felt it already, but two weeks of not talking to you, and just replaying that kiss in my head over and over was enough to make me see it."

Raven dragged her tongue over her lips nervously, wondering if Octavia was going to say anything else. When no more words came, she inhaled shakily and then asked, "So, what does that mean?"

"I think it means that I would like to kiss you some more," Octavia murmured softly, smiling a little. "But it could mean a number of other things as well."

Raven felt braver now, propping herself up on her elbows so that her face was much closer to Octavia's. "Like what?"

"Like I don't want to sleep with any boys anymore."

Tilting her head, Raven smirked a little. "But you'll sleep with other girls? I see how it is, O…"

"Oh shut up," Octavia huffed, rolling her eyes. "You are insufferable, you know that? You didn't talk to me for two weeks Raven. I fucking missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Raven promised, sitting up in full now and causing Octavia to slip down slightly, so that she was straddling Raven's lap. Their faces were definitely very close now, but neither of them made any motion to move. "And I'm sorry. I was terrified that you would hate me or something, and I guess… I guess I was just scared in general. Running away felt easier."

"Please don't ever run away from me, Rae," Octavia pleaded. "You're the most important person to me, you know? I love you, and I don't ever want you to be afraid of telling me something, or be afraid that I would judge you for anything." Raven felt tears welling in her eyes, because this was the best way that this scenario could've played out, and it seemed surreal. "Okay?" Raven nodded, and then buried her face into Octavia's shoulder as tears leaked from her eyes. Octavia held her there, stroking her hair, and then after a moment, she spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Raven murmured, despite her tears.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Raven just about flung herself backwards at a strong enough force to hit the back of her bed, but Octavia's grasp kept her in place. Sure that her expression displayed extreme surprise, Raven wasn't surprised that Octavia was grinning somewhat amusedly at her. "Wait, can you ask that again please? I'm pretty sure I heard you wrong."

Octavia rolled her eyes. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Fuck yes!" Raven blushed. "I mean, yeah, sure, whatever…"

"Ugh, you honestly drive me insane," Octavia muttered, but then she brought their lips back together softly, gently.

Soft and gentle didn't last for long, though, and soon they were exploring each other's bodies in full.

The next day, their friend group was sitting up in Octavia's room, as per usual. Neither Raven nor Octavia had mentioned to anyone that they were dating – they wanted to do it together, mostly so that they could clear up any misunderstandings on the spot, together, if there were any. So when the conversation lulled between the five of them, Octavia cleared her throat.

"So, Raven and I need to tell you guys something," Octavia said, leaning slightly to the right toward her girlfriend. They were sitting against Octavia's bed, on the floor, and the rest of their friends were also sitting on the ground in a sort of circle-like shape.

"Are you guys finally talking again?" Harper asked, lighting up a little. "Or like – actually talking."

"Yes," Octavia said, before looking at Raven and starting, "but also…"

Raven swallowed thickly and just let it blurt it out, "We're dating."

Lexa grinned. "It's about time, honestly." Anya was nodding along in agreement, and only Harper seemed to be really surprised.

"Wait, I get how Lexa would know, but what the fuck Anya?" Raven asked, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

Anya shrugged. "Come on, Rae, you're not the best ever at hiding your feelings. You'd do anything for Octavia – that much has been obvious for, like, ever." Lexa chuckled, nodding in agreement.

"Wait," Harper started, "so are you guys gay, or what?"

Raven shrugged. "I don't really know."

"Yeah, me too," Octavia agreed. "I just know that I couldn't live without Rae, and sex with her is better than sex with Finn."

Raven's jaw dropped – she hadn't expected Octavia to drop the fact that they'd already had sex to their friends. Lexa smirked. "Not surprising. Girls are always better."

"You're gay, Lexa, of course you would think that," Anya said with an eyeroll. "Also, you're a virgin, so how the fuck would you know?"

Lexa flushed. "Um. Actually, for your information, I'm not a virgin. I haven't had sex with a guy, that's true, but I have had sex with a girl."

"Wait, wait," Harper interrupted, "who?"

Raven's jaw dropped. "Was it that Haley girl? You haven't even mentioned her since we first talked to her – I figured nothing had really changed."

"Well, things changed," Lexa said. "As we can all see, three weeks can change a lot of things. I have a girlfriend, Raven and Octavia are dating each other, life is good."

"Wait, you're dating that girl?" Anya demanded to Lexa. "And you didn't tell me?"

"It's like, a new thing. I asked her on Thursday, and I didn't bring it up yesterday because I felt like it would be better not to pick favorites and tell only some of you first, and Octavia and Raven were obviously both otherwise occupied last night." Lexa rolled her eyes. "But yes, we're dating now."

Octavia grinned. "So, Anya and Harper, any exciting news to share? You have to have something, apparently the rest of us do."

Harper shrugged. "No, not really. Still a virgin. No crushes or boyfriends or girlfriends. I'm living vicariously through the rest of you at this point."

"Same," Anya agreed sadly. "Honestly though, fuck you guys for being happy and shit."

"Yeah, Anya, because it was so great being in love with my best friend for years and being too terrified to say anything about it," Raven huffed out in annoyance, though it immediately dissipated when Octavia leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Raven's cheek.

Anya grinned. "Actually, this might be a really good thing if Octavia can keep Raven's sass down a few levels."

"Shut up," Raven snapped, "there is no way that you are passing my sass level, Anya."

"We'll see about that."

"Okay weirdos," Octavia interrupted, leaning against her girlfriend, "we going to watch a movie, or what?"

As they began to bicker over what movie to watch, Raven felt on top of the world – she may not have the best life ever, but she had Octavia by her side, and the feeling was intoxicating. She knew that she would never get over it.