Hey everyone. Sorry for the long update, but I am nearly finished final exams. So here's chapter 21. As promised to the majority of voters, there will be Kemily. Some of this chapter involves Minimal Loss (CM 4x03). It has to be one of my fav CM eps, so if you haven't seen it, do watch it.

Disclaimer: Same as every other chapter...

Chapter Twenty-One: At A Loss

Tony arrived at the hospital at 0900 the next morning after dropping Jeanne off at Monroe University Hospital. She had asked about his arm, interrogated him really, so he had to lie to her yet again and had told her that he fell down the stairs at the conference.

Emily was already there when he entered the room and Ziva was feeding Anthony. A few comments came to his mind, but he decided it really wasn't the most appropriate time to say anything. Instead, he sat on the bed next to Ziva and began to massage her shoulders.

She looked exhausted and worn out. Evidently, Mossad assassins were not indestructible.

"Marcel's coming in later today to meet Anthony," Emily announced, chowing down on her breakfast bar. "Considering they're going to be spending a lot of time together, I think it's a good idea."

Ziva nodded her approval, not turning her head away from her suckling little boy.

Tony, however, did look up. "I still can't believe you're hiring a manny. A manny!"

"He is very good, Tony," Emily explained ardently. "And definitely overqualified."

"Fine, but I will meet him today," Tony resigned.

"I want you to meet him, Tony," Ziva voiced, still looking down at Anthony. "He is a good man. I think you will like him."

Tony shrugged back, not voicing a response. Conversation had been strained with Ziva since he left the hospital the night before. She knew where he had gone and why he was not back at the hospital early in the morning. She knew that he had gone home to another woman.

Ziva finished feeding Anthony and passed him over to Tony, citing that he needed to spend time bonding with his son. Both Emily and Tony had the rest of the week off work and Ziva had three months maternity leave.

Marcel came by the hospital at 1300. He was first directed to Ziva's room where he finally got to meet Tony. Or vice versa.

"Marcel Rossamaluka," Marcel announced, holding his hand out to Tony. "It's great to finally meet you, Tony. Ziva and Emily have told me so much about you and Derek has told me so much more."

"Really?" Tony questioned, slightly alarmed. He wondered what sort of things his closest guy friend had told the nanny. 'I hope nothing about my girlfriend,' his inner voice shrieked.

"Only good things," Marcel told him with a wide smile as they shook hands.

"Tony, why don't you take Marcel over to the nursery to see Anthony?" Emily suggested, sitting down on the end of Ziva's bed.

Tony shrugged and indicated to the other man to follow him. They left the room in an eerie silence.

"So, do you want to tell me what is going with you?" Ziva asked Emily as soon as the men had left.

"I don't know what you mean," Emily answered very quickly. Too quickly.

Ziva shot her a shrewd look. "I know you, Emily. I know that something is wrong. You can talk to me about it."

"I know, but it's just hard," Emily admitted, her voice strained by the secret she was trying to keep from her best friend.

"Hard?" Ziva asked confusedly.

"Complicated," Emily verified. "It's complicated, but I don't want you to worry about it. All you need to worry about is little Anthony."

"Fine," Ziva replied, allowing Emily to win this round. "But you will tell me eventually."

"Perhaps," Emily admitted before quickly changing the subject. "Tony seems very attentive to your needs."

"Do you think so?" Ziva questioned, her manner of asking clearly disagreeing with the statement that Emily had made. "He left last night to go home to his mystery woman and he was with her this morning. That is why he arrived after you. It is very clear that we are just partners and friends, Emily. Nothing more."

"Has someone got a case of the green-eyed monster?" Emily asked with a superior look, her eyebrows raised.

"What?" Ziva shot back, confused by her friend's question. "Have I got baby vomit on me or something?"

"No, no, no, no," Emily answered, chuckling slightly at yet another one of Ziva's English slips. "It's a term we use for someone who is jealous."

"I am not jealous of Tony's girlfriend," Ziva retorted incredulously. "As I said before, he and I are just friends."

"Looks like I'm not the only one in denial," Emily muttered under her breath, hoping Ziva did not hear.

Meanwhile at the nursery...

"That's him there," Tony said, pointing to a small baby wrapped in a light blue blanket. 'I think.'

"He is a beautiful little boy," Marcel proclaimed. "How have you handled fatherhood so far?"

Tony fought back the urge to wince at his question. 'Badly,' he admitted internally. 'Very badly.'

"Uh, okay I guess," Tony chose to reply before changing the topic. "So, where are you from, Marcel? That's a French name, right?"

"Yes," Marcel answered brightly. "I'm from Rwanda, but I moved to Australia thirteen years ago and then here to the US two years ago."

"Ziva tells me that you were working for Social Services," Tony said conversationally.

"That's right," Marcel replied. "But I wanted a change so I've moved into the private sector. You know, Tony, you should come to the gym with Derek and I. There are a few of us and the training will be good for you."

"Good for me?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"As a federal agent," Marcel told him, punching him in the arm playfully. "And the chicks that are there on a Saturday. Whoo!"

Tony smiled, agreeing to come and check it out. They walked back to Ziva's room, Marcel animatedly telling Tony about his trials and tribulations with the women of the gym and how it was all worth it in the end. Tony was left thinking if Marcel was as big a player and womaniser as he and Morgan were.

"Have fun boys?" Emily asked as they re-entered the room.

They nodded and spent another hour discussing everything from their lives to what they had planned for Anthony's upbringing. Marcel left soon after that and the nurse brought Anthony back in for another feed, so Tony sat down in the chair and Emily sat on the end of the bed.

"I have been meaning to thank you, Emily, for dragging me to those birthing classes," Ziva began as she settled Anthony down to feed. "At least now I know a few ways to settle Anthony down when he is crying."

"See, they weren't a waste," Emily pointed out smarmily. "You should listen to me more often."

"I listen to you all the time," Ziva retorted with a chuckle. "But I will admit that it was a beneficial experience. I really do not know how to be a good mother."

"For what it's worth, Ziva, I think you're doing a better job than my mother," Tony piped up.

"That doesn't sound difficult, Tony," Emily added with a bright smile, causing Ziva to laugh, forgetting that she was breastfeeding. Anthony let go and spluttered a little before latching back on.

"Oh, see," Ziva pointed out, concerned by what happened to her son. "I am not a good mother."

"Relax, Z, he's fine," Emily assured her. "But he eats like Tony. Oh and didn't your mother drink your Sea Monkeys?"

Tony stared shrewdly back at her. "I have better stories than that. This is not the first time my shoulder has been dislocated. When I was two, she was spinning me around like a helicopter. That was until my arm popped out of its socket."

Emily burst out laughing and Ziva tried very hard not to. She didn't want to disturb little Anthony's feeding time again.

"That's not all," Tony continued reminiscently, "When I was eight months old, she sat me down in a laundry basket and then went to pick it up. But she only picked up one side and I came rolling out the other."

Emily could not contain herself again and Ziva was working against picturing the event in her mind.

"I rolled ten feet across the lawn," Tony added. "And my cousin, Rick, has fond memories of both events."

"I'm sure he does, Tony," Ziva replied with a wide smile. "I don't think that I will forget those stories, either."

Tony silently beamed at her, a bright smile radiating from his handsome face.

oOo

Ziva had been home from the hospital for a fortnight already. The time had flown by. She had just settled Anthony down to sleep and turned the television that Kalev had bought and shoved into her living room on.

The usual daytime television program had been interrupted by breaking news. It was news of a shootout and, now, possible hostage crisis at a cult ranch in La Plata County, Colorado.

"Emily," Ziva whispered anxiously. Her best friend had left the day before with Reid and flown to Colorado to investigate allegations of child sexual abuse at a religious sect ranch.

She reached over the couch and grabbed her cell, quickly flicking through her contact list to find JJ's number. She called it, but there was no answer.

Giving up on contacting the BAU, she rang her brother and told him about what she'd seen on the TV.

Kalev was less than five minutes away from the FBI Academy. He hung up on his sister without saying goodbye and sped down the highway, flashing his Mossad ID to the agents at the gate who escorted him and his bike to the parking lot. Kalev removed his red helmet and sprinted in front of his escorts into the BAU.

"Hotch!" Kalev called out, seeing the team head out with their ready bags. He ran up to them and Hotch nodded to the escorting agents to indicate that they could leave.

"Kalev, what are you doing here?" Hotch asked anxiously.

"I want to come with you to Colorado," Kalev replied with an equal level of anxiety. "I can help you."

Hotch looked down narrowly, remaining silent for a moment, trapped in thought. "Alright."

Kalev smiled and followed them to the airstrip. They were up in the air not long after. Kalev sat beside Morgan, both men equally nervous. JJ was sitting across from them and Hotch was sitting on the other side of the plane's compartment with Rossi.

Rossi craned his head up to look over at the others. "Why did you let the kid come along?"

Hotch turned around and looked at Kalev and then turned back to Rossi. "He's a Mossad officer. He's right, we can use his help."

Rossi sighed. "He has an emotional attachment to one of the hostages."

"We all do, Dave," Hotch answered tiredly. "But Kalev has skills that may be valuable to us. He's probably the best shot out of all of us, he can disarm an explosive and he will listen to us."

"He's a Mossad officer," Rossi reiterated. "He does not have experience with hostage situations. Except perhaps in dealing with the aftermath."

Hotch gave him shrewd look and shook his head. "If it gets to a stage where we need to go in, I think Kalev's skills will benefit us."

"If he can control his emotions," Rossi added.

Hotch looked up at him and nodded in agreement.

oOo

Kalev had been pacing over the same patch of grass for the past hour. It was day two of the hostage crisis and he didn't feel like they were getting any closer to getting Emily and Reid out of there. The other police officer that was with them had been killed the day before when the Colorado State Police tried to serve a warrant. That had turned into an all-out fire fight.

He'd changed out of his bikie gear, thankful that he had clothes in his ready backpack. He was now wearing grey pants and a tight, blue long sleeve shirt that he had rolled up to his elbows. It was definitely another hot day in Colorado.

Not long after they arrived on site and the BAU team had been put in charge of negotiating, Hotch decided to make Rossi the lead negotiator and he'd taken supplies up to the compound. Benjamin Cyrus, the religious cult's elusive leader, allowed him to enter with the crates of food, water and medical equipment. Carefully hidden in these crates were listening devices. They now had ears in the compound. They knew what was going on.

Kalev had been listening to the audio being transmitted to their command post all day. Earlier on in the day, they thought that Cyrus may have poisoned his followers to weed out the non-believers, but it was not so. They were about to prepare to go in, but Hotch decided against it.

The former leader of the religious sect, though it had been Libertarian when he was in charge, had been brought over from federal prison and Morgan was interviewing him. Despite all their efforts, Kalev saw no end to this crisis any time soon. He sighed and walked over to the agents, who had just hung up after a video call with Garcia, who'd given them Cyrus' background.

"Well, this makes things worse," Rossi announced. Kalev shot him a grave look.

"What?" Morgan questioned. "That he was a model citizen?"

"That he's been to prison," Rossi answered.

"He knows what happens to child molesters there," Morgan proclaimed, dawning on the realisation.

"If the current sexual allegations are true and he thinks we know it, he's not coming out of there," Hotch added.

"Then we have to make him think he's not going back," Rossi put in. Kalev found himself more unnerved by their discussion, wondering how the hell it could possibly get any worse.

"JJ!" Hotch called out as the pregnant, blonde agent came up to them. "I need you to release a press statement saying that we have absolutely no evidence of sexual allegations."

"You need to see this," JJ said warily, flipping the television on.

"Now well into its second day, the standoff at the Secretarian sect ranch has now been overtaken by the FBI," the reporter on the news station announced. "There is much speculation in regards to the hostages, but anonymous sources inside the state attorney-general's office have told us that there is an undercover FBI agent currently being held inside the Secretarian sect ranch. Hostage negotiators say that they are making headway with the sect's leadership and are hopeful for a positive outcome. There is still no word yet as to why an undercover FBI agent was sent in alone."

JJ flicked the TV off.

"This is bad, isn't it?" Kalev asked nervously, breaking down the walls of silence that now engulfed the group. "That he knows there's an FBI agent inside? He doesn't trust outsiders, right?"

"It's bad," Rossi answered, picking up a set of headphones. "But let's wait to find out if they know yet."

Hotch, Morgan and Kalev followed suit, each picking up a set of headphones. They heard nothing for several minutes, but then they heard a series of grunting and painful moans. It was Emily.

"I told you not to throw me into this position!" they heard Cyrus shout angrily over Emily's fearful cries. But what came next was far worse.

They heard him hit her. A loud and painful slap. Hotch threw his hands up over his head. Kalev was beside himself. He could not breathe and he could stand to listen to it and do nothing.

They heard Cyrus kick Emily this time.

"We've got to go in," Hotch said desperately, taking his headphones off. Kalev nodded next to him.

"We'd be risking the lives of everyone in there," Rossi reasoned as Hotch put the headpiece back over his ears.

"Get up!" they heard Cyrus shout, followed by the sound of a punch and shattering glass, as well as Emily's painful cries and moans.

Kalev kicked the seat in front of him over and dragged his hands over his face as Cyrus kept yelling at her. Rossi flinched, empathising with Emily's pain.

They heard a banging noise and knew that Cyrus had now thrown her into a wall.

"I can take it," they heard Emily gasp out.

"Oh you can take it?" Cyrus shot back. He slapped her and the team heard her fall to the ground again.

"Wait, wait," Rossi piped up. "Listen to what she's saying."

Hotch shot him a threatening look, leaving Kalev confused.

"I can take it," they heard Emily say again.

"She's antagonising him," Morgan pointed out. Kalev nodded in agreement with his statement.

"She's not talking to him," Rossi claimed.

"She's talking to us," Hotch added. "She's telling us not to come in."

"Pride comes before," they heard Cyrus say before he hit her again. She cried out in pain. Kalev was pulling his hair out listening to it.

They heard him throw her on to the ground again, but this time, Emily did not get up. Morgan threw his headpiece on the table and stalked off.

"Tie her up and put her upstairs," they heard Cyrus mutter in a low voice.

Kalev dropped his hands to the table as he listened to Emily weep in pain. And there was nothing that he could do to help her. Right then and there, he wanted nothing more than to grab his gun, walk up to the ranch and shoot dead every single man holding a gun. He wanted to kill Cyrus. And he wanted to hold Emily in his arms and make the pain go away.

Kalev was willing to bet that he could get into the ranch unseen and shoot down every single gunman without any further fatalities. He had excellent training after all. The FBI, however, did not agree with him on this.

He pulled the chair that he'd kicked down back up and put his headphones back on, trying to find Emily's weeping voice in the ranch. He dropped into the chair and let his head fall to his hands.

Hotch was watching the younger man intently, seeing the anguish on his own face and understanding completely, how he was feeling. They needed to get Emily out and soon.

Kalev walked away from the group and dove into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. He called his speed dial '2.'

"David," he heard Ziva say.

"It's Kalev," he explained quickly. "Things are not going so well."

He hadn't spoken to her since the day before, when she called him to let him know that she was at NCIS hoping for a positive outcome. After all, that was all they could do.

"What has happened?" Ziva asked urgently.

"Emily was beaten," Kalev answered, his voice showing the he felt clearly. "It sounded pretty bad, but we can't go in yet and risk all of our lives, not to mention the lives of those being held captive in there."

"I understand," Ziva said softly. "I hope you can get them out soon. Please ring me if you learn anything else."

Kalev hung up the phone. He looked down at his shoes, concerned deeply for Emily's welfare. 'What would happen to her?'

oOo

Kalev was nervous. Very nervous. It's not like he was trained to do this sort of thing with Mossad, but both Hotch and Rossi were of the opinion that Cyrus had explosives in the compound and he was the best person to disarm any bomb. So he was allowed to enter the compound with the SWAT team, Rossi and Morgan during the raid.

Morgan had shot a laser into the window of the room that Emily was being held in and used it to communicate with her. She had pledged to move the followers of the cult, the innocent women and children, down to the tunnels at three a.m.

They burst through a door after SWAT, seeing that they had shot down one armed man. They walked around the corner to see Emily rushing through, followed by several scared women and children.

"Emily, Emily, are you alright?" Morgan questioned as Kalev walked up beside him. The young Mossad agent took a moment to catch himself upon seeing her bruised face.

"They've wired explosives," Emily answered anxiously. Kalev walked forward and dropped his .22 Beretta down beside him and grabbing hold of her arm to help her through the corridor.

"Where's Reid?" Morgan asked quickly.

"He's in the chapel with Cyrus," Emily replied breathlessly.

"We gotta getcha outta here," Rossi said to her.

"No, we gotta get Reid!" Emily shouted with exasperation. Kalev held on to her arm tight enough to provide comfort.

"Prentiss, we will get Reid," Morgan answered her. He signalled to Kalev to follow him. The young man took one last longing look at Emily and slid his arm down hers, touching her fingertips briefly before readying himself to follow Morgan down the passageway.

"No! No!" Kalev heard a young girl shout. He turned to see the girl struggle with her mother and then break free and run up the corridor that he and Morgan were about to embark through with the SWAT team.

The woman screamed and began to chase her. "NO!"

Morgan caught her and held her back. "Ma'am. I will get her for you. Ross, get her outta here." He nodded to Kalev and the pair of them followed SWAT down the hall after the young girl, Jessica.

They approached explosive material which appeared to be wired together. Kalev bent down and examined it for a moment before cutting a few of the wires with the knife that was concealed at his waist.

They then rushed into the chapel, Kalev going first. He took two head shots, killing both Cyrus and his armed guard instantly. Morgan looked at him with wide eyes before helping Reid up off the floor.

The detonator in Cyrus' hand was thrown a metre from his body.

"You alright, kid?" Morgan asked urgently.

"Fine, where's Emily?" Reid replied in a calmer voice.

"We got her outta here," Morgan replied and then craned his neck up to see Jessica walking into the room. "Sweetheart, come with me. We need to get you outta here. Come on. Let's go, right now."

But the young girl watched Cyrus' body lay motionless on the floor and picked up the detonator that lay next to him.

"Abandon ship," Kalev croaked out, his eyes widening at the dramatic change in the situation.

"RUN!" Reid screamed with far more urgency. The three of them and the SWAT agents took off out of the room as fast as they could.

Emily was wondering around aimlessly outside when she heard the explosion. She ran to the entrance of the ranch and looked around for her friends.

"Kalev! Reid! Morgan!" she shouted, trying to locate them.

She saw them stumble out amidst the rubble, Kalev in the lead and Morgan helping Reid out behind him. Hotch was standing close behind her, grateful that each member of his team made it out alive.

"We're okay," Morgan called out. Emily was so relieved. She put her hands up to her face and released a deep breath slowly before walking quite quickly to them.

She put her arms around Reid, happy that the ordeal was over and the two of them had made it out alive and then walked next to Kalev, her eyes twinkling as he gave her a reassuring smile.

He leant into her and gave her a small kiss on her cheek before leaving her to talk with Jessica's mother. He walked away from the explosion feeling engulfed by more emotions than he had ever felt before.

oOo

Kalev looked up from his seat in the BAU's jet and watched Emily walk towards him. She had just been talking with Reid, and though she did not know it, he heard every part of their conversation.

"That was nice, what you just did," Kalev told her as she took a seat across from him. "Reid needed to hear that you didn't blame him for what happened."

Emily smiled back at him but said nothing.

"You could not have changed what happened today," Kalev continued, feeling wiser than he actually was. "You could not have saved that girl's life. She made her own decisions." He let out a long sigh, knowing that what he was saying was not getting through to woman across from him. He tried a different approach. "You know, Ayn Rand once said 'Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it, cannot be conquered by it.'"

Emily lifted her head and looked at him. They remained like that for several minutes, gazing deep into each other's eyes.

Kalev seemed to be the first to recover, noticing that they were on a small plane with her work colleagues. "I called Marcel and had him and Tony pick up my motorcycle from Quantico. I'll drive you home tonight."

"I was cleared to drive, Kalev," Emily explained, a little impatiently. "And we did not hire a nanny for your own personal rationales."

And yet, two hours later she found herself sitting in the passenger seat of her car. The drive for them was awkward and silent. Kalev had spent the better part of two hours telling her that he was driving her home and he wasn't going to have it any other way. In the end, she gave in and allowed him to chauvinistically drive her home. After all, Kalev David gets what Kalev David wants.

He walked her to her door and helped her carry her bag inside.

"I think I may take some painkillers and go to sleep," Emily announced as Kalev followed her into the kitchen.

"Good idea," Kalev agreed. He took a step towards her and drew in a deep breath as he put his arms around her. "I was so worried about you. I never, ever, want to have to listen to that happen to you again, Em."

Emily closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest. He wrapped his arms further around her and held her tight to his body.

"I cannot imagine what I would do if anything happen to you," Kalev whispered softly, his face nestled in her soft, dark hair. He felt her breathe hitch up a little and wondered if she had similar feelings about him that he had about her. Instead of asking and embarrassing himself, he decided to bow out gracefully.

He relinquished his grip on her and bent down to kiss her forehead before walking out of the kitchen. "If you need anything, all you have to do is ask." And he walked out of her apartment, leaving her there speechless and feeling slightly alone.

oOo

"Kalev!" he heard the woman of his household whisper loudly and angrily as he walked into his condo.

"Hey, Ziva," he answered, coolly taking a beer out of their fridge.

"Do not 'hey' me, Kalev," Ziva shot back, her already fiery personality fuelled by hormonal imbalances and a lack of sleep. "Where have you been? And I mean before you flew to Colorado to rescue your damsel in stress without informing me?"

"I didn't know that I needed your permission, Ziva, to manage my own life," Kalev shot back bitterly. "And to answer your question, I was working. In Ciudad del Este."

"The Triple Frontier Zone?!" Ziva asked, the fear in her voice and eyes well-hidden. "What on Earth were you doing there?"

"Working," Kalev answered simply. "You know the region. Hezbollah, Al-Qaeda, Hamas, they all have operations there. I will say nothing more about it."

"Are you being careful this time, Kalev?" Ziva questioned urgently.

Kalev replied with a heavy sigh and turned his back on his sister, walking away from her and up the stairs.

"Kalev!" she called out, no longer concerned about maintaining a quiet household. "If you make another mistake like last time, you will be killed. And I am not actively working for Mossad so I cannot help you. Please do not do this. I have already lost Ari and Tali."

"I am being careful," Kalev reiterated for her, stopping midway up the stairs and turning around.

"No, you are not. I do not want to have to deal with another situation like this. Ari put me in a very compromising position last time. And I am an American federal agent. How should I explain this to them?"

"I don't know and, frankly, I don't care," Kalev shot back. "I am sick of you insinuating that I am following in Ari's footsteps. I am not Ari!"

"Then prove it to me!" Ziva shouted back.

"Fine, if I become too much of a burden to you, you have my permission to put a nine mil through my head." And with that, Kalev turned and stalked off to his room.

Ziva stood there at the bottom of the stairs, shocked by his outburst and unsure of what to do next. She was about to follow him into his room when she heard the baby cry from across the hall. She moved away from Kalev's door and walked into Anthony's room.

A/N: So what did you think? More of Ziva and Kalev's past will be revealed. I know it is a little confusing now.

So next chapter: Blowback!!! And probably Friends and Lovers, too. Also, there will be a Tiva scene.... set late at night..... Tiva! Tiva! Tiva!

Lol, please review this chapter. Be nice to your fanfic authors. Reviews = love + faster updates.