Amarala Myrasan

Jasmine activated her tactical cloak and lowered herself from the awning to the balcony floor. She stayed there, crouched low, her head cocked to the side listening as she waited for her cloak to dissipate and recharge. Nothing met her ears but the the gentle tweets of evening birds, the chatter rising up from the crowds walking the streets down below, and the hum of skycars passing her by. Her pulse raced in her temples. Reactivating her cloak, she crept to the door, staying low behind the half-wall of the balcony. She opened her omni-tool and started scanning.

Alright, Sere Krios. Let's see what you have for me. Okay, so motion detector not so good … oh but look, I haven't activated it yet. Thank you, Leon, for the cloak. Even if you are still an asshole. Okay, so, motion detector first to go. Come on Thane, you can do better than this. There's got to be more.

"Shit," Jasmine whispered when she realized disabling the motion detector set a countdown into motion.

Shit, shit, shit. What is it? Where is it? Aha! There you are. A flahsbang? What, seriously? Oh come on! A child could take care of that. You don't really think so low of me, do you? Wait. You've got it tied to something else … what the fuck is that?

"Oh, that's not fair. An EMP? You'll fry my omni-tool and my cloak. Damage my gun." Jasmine sucked her teeth, her fingers running over her omni-tool as she picked apart the code. Her heart raced, despite the fact she'd been in this same position, hacking her way through traps, countless times before. Why was this any different?

Because he's inside. Jesus Christ, he traveled across the galaxy because he missed me. Or so he says. Don't … don't do that, Jasmine. He hasn't lied to me about anything else … as far as I know. He said he came to see me, so he came to see me. But why? Is it really me he missed, or just having someone around? I get it, living in seclusion the way he has … I'd be lonely, too. It'd been a lot cheaper and easier to just make a new friend on the Citadel. No, but that kiss. Mmm. He wanted it as much as I did; wanted me. So maybe stop talking to yourself and focus. He's in there right now, so hurry the hell up and get in there with him.

Jasmine bit her lip, grinning as her omni-tool gave her the all clear. Still, better safe than sorry. That seemed too easy. She scanned again, taking a deep breath and reactivating her cloak when the scan came back clear once more. Standing, she activated the door's release control, silently cursing the audible whoosh of the doors hydraulics, and stepped inside.

She paused just over the threshold, her eyes scanning the room even as she waited for something to blow up in her face. Light from an open door ahead of her on the right did little to illuminate the immediate area, but it gave her enough to make out the dark shapes of furniture. To her left, a dim light showed her what she suspected to be the kitchen entrance. When no traps went off, she let out a slow breath and stepped further inside; wincing as the door slid closed behind her.

She listened, her heart pounding in her chest, the roar of her pulse the only sound reaching her ears. Grinning, she took hesitant steps forward, pausing as her cloak dropped. She strained to listen again, catching the measured sounds of controlled breathing, heavy with exertion coming from the lit room. She closed her eyes and just listened for a second, her anticipation leaving a tremble in her limbs. Moving at a snail's pace, testing each step before she brought her foot down, she made her way to the wall, edging along it until she got close enough to peer around the edge of the door frame.

Thane rose and fell from view, half hidden by the foot of the bed. The scales of his bare back and shoulders caught the light in a rolling shimmer as his muscles bulged and moved beneath them. Biting down on her lip as she grinned, she fought back the urge to give voice to just how much she appreciated the sight of him, half-naked and on display. She activated her cloak once more, wanting to see how close she could get to him before it dropped again or she gave herself away. He stopped the second she stepped into the doorway, body low to the ground, biotics flaring to life to lick across his scales. He turned his head, looking right at her despite the cloak.

Damn.

Jasmine sighed, dropping the cloak and leaned against the door frame, a roguish smile sliding effortlessly into place. "Don't stop on my account; I'm enjoying the show."

Thane chuckled, letting his biotics fade as he pushed himself to his feet, moving to her. She met him halfway, hesitating only long enough for him to open his arms to her. Stepping into his embrace, she flung her arms around his neck, leaning into him completely. He wrapped his arms around her, his grip strong and earnest as he took a shuddering breath.

She clung to him, unwilling to let go for a few quiet, desperate moments, letting him wash away all of the stress and tension built up inside of her over the past couple of weeks. He'd found something in her; touched a raw and exposed nerve she'd fought for years to bury, pretend it simply didn't exist for her anymore. Then, just as he somehow managed to soothe the ache a little, accepting the parts of her he uncovered and showing her his own hurts, work ripped her away. She needed this, needed him, and as much as it scared the shit out of her, it felt like coming home.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, pulling in his heady scent as she brought her hand around to rest her fingertips on his jaw and neck. She turned her head a little, letting her cheek brush across his, using the slightest pressure with her fingers in silent request. Thane turned his face to her, and she pressed her lips against his.

He held back, hesitant to lose himself in her as much as his heart demanded it of him. Afraid she'd flee from him again—and what it'd mean for any hope he had of them being together—he chastely held her lip between his. No matter how desperately he wanted to taste her, he didn't open his mouth to her, didn't let his tongue implore her lips to part for him. But they parted anyway, her tongue darting out to trace over his lip before nipping at him with her teeth, making the most interesting noise.

Amonkira, give me strength.

Thane pulled back, taking a steadying breath, his gaze searching hers out. Fire blazed in her eyes, wild and hungry; nearly more than he could take. He brought his hand to her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek. "Jasmine … are you certain?"

She smiled, her gaze dropping to his mouth as she urged him back to her. Grazing her teeth over his lip again, she pulled a strangled moan from his throat. "I'm sure," she whispered, covering his mouth with hers.

Her tongue pushed into his mouth, meeting his with the lingering taste of something tart and sweet. She pressed herself against him, the leather of her jacket smooth against his scales, shifting and parting as she moved her arms, giving way to the warmth of her body and softness of her curves, separated from him only by flimsy cloth. Her fingers danced over the ridges of his frills before following the curve of his neck to his shoulders, sliding down over his chest until stopping just above where their bodies met.

It's been so long since anyone touched him so intimately; each stroke of her tongue, every twitch of her fingers … memories of the feel of her bare skin beneath his fingertips rose up and he desperately wanted to touch more of her. He eased his hand along the edge of her jacket until he found where it ended, telling himself he'd just run his thumb beneath the hem of her shirt, and it'd be enough.

The second he made contact, Jasmine broke their kiss, her hands abandoning him, and he thought he'd done something wrong, gone too far. His heart sank, an apology forming on the tip of his tongue. Instead, she ducked her head beneath his chin, trailing her lips and tongue along his jaw and neck, scorching his frills with the heat of her mouth, sending fresh waves of raw lust through him. He groaned, his head falling back, exposing his throat to her; so consumed by the new sensations he failed to realize she'd pulled her arms free from her jacket until he felt it fall away to the floor.

"Touch me," she whispered in his ear, nuzzling against him.

How could he deny her? Thane slid his hand inside of her shirt, splaying his fingers out across the arch of her back; the skin there so warm and soft as he pulled her in closer to him. Her breath caught, coming out in a stutter as she wrapped her bare arms around him, fingers picking up where her tongue left off. Her mouth sought his once more with renewed fervor. He found her waist with his other hand, shifting her shirt up enough he felt a swath of her stomach, naked against his.

Losing the battle with his body, he felt his arousal growing, and soon, he wouldn't be able to hide it from her or convince himself anything less than all of her could ever be enough. Why should he hide his desire from her? Surely the hunger he felt from her wasn't mere imaginings. They were only a few steps from the bed. Admittedly, he knew little about what to do with her should they move to the bed—his knowledge of human anatomy being quite limited with how best to kill them—but what could be more natural than learning how to please one another together? No. It was far too soon. Wasn't it?

Of course.

Forcing himself to tear his lips away, he rested his forehead against hers, keeping his eyes closed as he struggled to bring the fire raging within him back under control. Jasmine whimpered, the pleading sound nearly undoing him. She tugged at him, leaning further into him, putting pressure in sensitive places, making it extremely difficult to think.

He groaned, bringing his hand from her waist to cup her face and opened his eyes. "Siha," he said, his voice coming out in a croak. "Please …." He caressed her cheek. "We shouldn't … I don't think …" He huffed, dismayed by his own lack of eloquence. " … there's only so much I can endure."

She chuckled, her chest rising and falling with panting breaths. Closing her eyes, she nodded her head against his before opening them again and tilting her head back to meet his gaze. "Okay." She pulled one of her hands from his neck to clasp his wrist, keeping his hand against her face. Taking a deep breath, she nodded once more. "Okay. Just give me a second?" She bit her lip, pushing her eyebrows up.

"Of course." He brushed his thumb across her cheek, tugging her lip free from her teeth, pulling a smile from her.

Jasmine laid her head on his shoulder, tucking her arms down between them and took a moment in his arms, soaking in his warmth before letting him go. Trailing her fingers over his chest as she stepped back, she glanced down at the three puckered, still healing, pale green scars cutting across his scales. The sight sucked the heat right out of her, stamping down the shameless ache of need between her legs.

She fought back the flash of panic, a senseless artifact from the night he nearly died in her arms, and sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his abdomen at eye level. Decidedly keeping her eyes above his waist—if he said he wasn't ready, he meant it; despite the, still considerable, bulge in his pants—she tugged at his hips until he stepped a little closer. She ran her fingers over the sleek scars, the lines now void of scales, but also any sign of infection as far as she saw. The wounds, completely closed, appeared to be healing as they should.

It struck her she never before thought a scar looked beautiful, but those scars did. She'd gotten to him in time, and he lived. She looked up, meeting his gaze. "Are you still in pain?"

"No, siha," he said, his voice still hoarse as he lifted a hand to her face. "The memories are … unpleasant, but I find they're coming less frequently." He trailed his fingertips over her cheekbone before sweeping them down along her jaw.

Grimacing, she sighed. "And here I am being an ass by reminding you. Sorry."

Thane chuckled, holding his hand out to her, pulling her back to her feet when she accepted. "I didn't think there'd ever be anyone to worry about me again." His hands settled on her waist. "It's endearing. I didn't realize it was something I missed. You needn't ever apologize for being concerned for me."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, just one, quick peck before resting her forehead against his again. She took a deep breath and let it out slow, before running her hands down his chest. "Mmm. If I'm expected to behave myself, maybe the bedroom's not the best place for us right now." She took a step back, easing herself from his embrace and picking his vest up from the bed. Letting the leather garment dangle from her fingers, she held it out to him, flashing him a sly grin. "And maybe you should put this on."

Thane's lips twitched, and he let out a soft chuckle. He brushed the back of his thumb over his brow, taking the vest from her. She picked up her own jacket from the floor, moving back to the door, leaning against the frame as she watched him slide the vest on, his nimble fingers making short work of the zipper and buckles. When finished, he looked up, meeting her gaze, the light cutting through to show her a glimpse of tranquil green eyes.

"If you have time, I'll make us cinuela." He moved toward the door, stopping in front of her, his eyes moving back and forth as he studied her.

"Sounds wonderful," she said, turning to step out of the room and out of his way.

He smiled, reaching out to let his fingers brush the small of her back as he moved past her, fighting the temptation to pull her back into his arms. Turning on the lights as he went, he made his way to the kitchen, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds as if she might disappear if he didn't keep checking. She draped her jacket over the back of a chair, pulling it out before sitting down to watch him. He put on a pot of water before moving to the cabinets, pulling down first the canister of tea leaves and then the tea pot and cups.

"Your security is lacking," she said.

Thane looked up, smiling at her narrow-eyed glare. "I didn't want you to feel unwelcomed."

She snorted, leaning back in her chair. "So, how'd I mess up?"

He tilted his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"How'd you know?" She quirked an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ah." Moving to the table, he leaned over the back of a chair across from her. "Unfortunately, your cloaking device doesn't mask you completely. Not from drell, at least. Likely not from hanar, either."

"You still saw me?" Jasmine lifted her arm, looking down at the band on her wrist, running her fingers over the tactical cloak.

Pulling out the chair, he sat, more than happy to distract his mind from thoughts of the taste of her tongue in his mouth. "Not exactly, no. Drell are able to detect heat sources. In a crowd, it's likely I wouldn't have noticed, but somewhere otherwise empty …." He gestured at the apartment around them.

"My body heat stood out." Pursing her lips, she sucked her teeth. "The hanar, too?"

"No, humans emit small levels of bioluminescence." He waved his hand. "Although it did mask the majority, some seemed to—I suppose you'd say—leak through as you moved. It's likely those who developed the cloak considered the bioluminescence but haven't mastered hiding it completely." Hearing the water start to boil, he stood again, moving back to the stove to measure out the cinuela, adding it to the water. "There is a medical procedure some drell have—I myself had it done—it helps us see the higher frequency levels of the hanar other species aren't able to detect. But any species would be able to see the slight distortion the cloak creates around you if observant enough."

Jasmine huffed. "Damn. Well, still better than nothing I guess."

"Indeed." He watched the color of the water change as the leaves softened, releasing their flavor. "Will Leon be looking for you?"

"Not for awhile. He left to stake out one of our targets, Amarala Myrasan." She hummed a little. "Her routine changed unexpectedly."

He glanced at her. "Do you think they've reason to suspect you?"

"I don't think so, but he's her problem at the moment, not mine." She smirked. "So, have you heard anymore about Kolyat?"

Kolyat. Will I ever get used to hearing someone else speak his name?

Thane turned off the heat, leaving the tea to steep and joined her at the table again. "Indeed, I have." It warmed his heart to watch her face light up, hope dancing in her eyes for his sake. "I still haven't spoken with him, but Rone is working to ease him into the idea. I received a picture of Kolyat before I left the Citadel; quite the pleasant surprise." He looked down at his hands, turning his palms up and rubbing his fingertips together absently as the image of his son resurfaced in his mind. "I wanted so badly to be able to share it with you, but you already left and it'd be unwise for me to hold on to."

"I would've loved to have seen him, but I understand completely." She reached across the table, rubbing his bare forearm before pulling her hand back.

He met her gaze again, beaming with pride. "He's already changed so much, I barely recognized him. He's coming into his maturity, and I'm quite certain he'll one day leave me in his shadow." Propping his elbows on the table, he clasped his hands. "He's … magnificent."

Jasmine grinned, leaning forward to rest her chin on her palm. "You look so happy."

"I am," he said, dipping his head as he reached across the table, holding his hand out to her, "and I have you to thank."

She snorted, but met him halfway, putting her hand in his. "All I did was yell at you."

"No, siha, you've done far more than you think." He held her gaze, simply enjoying the moment.

"Okay, so I stalked you a little, too." She scraped her teeth over her lip and winked at him.

Thane chuckled as he stood. "Indeed." He made his way back into the kitchen to finish the cinuela, pouring it into the teapot, then arranging it on the tray with the cups. Opening another cabinet, he took down the box of chocolates he bought for Jasmine and set them on the tray, too. "Would you prefer to sit in the living room?"

"Uh, yeah." She glanced over her shoulder toward the couch. "If you don't mind."

He picked up the tray. "Not at all." Carrying the tray to the living room, he settled it on the coffee table.

Jasmine followed him, sitting on the couch sideways, pulling a leg up to rest on the cushion, locking her ankle behind her other knee. "Is that …." She leaned forward, picking up the box of chocolates. "My, my. Have you decided to try and bribe me after all?"

Laughing while he poured the tea, he shook his head. "I just thought it'd be nice. I hope I found some you'll enjoy." He sat a cup down on a saucer in front of her. "They're made by asari, but I've seen other humans eat them." Sitting down with his own cup in hand, he watched her as she examined the package.

She opened the box, setting the lid on the table and after a moment of looking them over, chose one and bit into it, chewing slowly. Humming in approval, she held the box out to him. Pleased by her reaction, he chose one for himself without bothering to consider the different flavors. Eating the chocolate, he took a moment to savor the creamy outer layer before chewing, finding a thick nougat inside. He sipped from his cup, washing the candy down while Jasmine selected another, setting the box on the couch between them.

Thane took another drink and cleared his throat. "How are things?"

Jasmine blew out a heavy breath before popping a chocolate into her mouth. She tilted her head to the side as she chewed, seeming to consider his question. "Well … I did something that'll probably get me blacklisted at best, if I get caught."

He stilled, his blood running cold. Did she mean him? Did she put herself in danger coming to see him?

"There's something going on with him. I know there is. He picked this huge fight with me the other night, and then took off. Came back in the middle of the night with a broken nose, drunk off his ass. Brought the turian who broke his nose home with him, let the guy sleep on the couch." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "He kept talking about not knowing what he's doing here and saying he needs help, but I couldn't get him to tell me what the hell he meant."

He relaxed a little knowing she didn't mean her coming to see him, but still uneasy with the idea of her being in trouble. "What do you think he meant?"

She shook her head and lifted a shoulder. "I don't know. But I installed software on his omni-tool to gain access."

Blinking in surprise, he lifted his brow ridge. "You're spying on your handler?"

She picked up her tea cup. "Yep." Blowing over the top of her cinuela, she met his gaze, her eyes filled with a curious mix of defiance and doubt.

He hesitated, choosing his words with care. "What have you uncovered?"

She rolled her eyes, waving her hand irritably, as if she could simply shoo away her frustrations. "Aside from the locations of six other Phantoms and their targets—information I'm definitely not supposed to have—nothing."

He didn't know how things worked with the Alliance's Phantom division, but he knew what she just said … an assassin working within the Compact for the Illuminated Primacy who did the same would be considered to have committed a serious offense. Not every drell within the Compact worked as an assassin, but those who did were kept apart after their training. It was imperative for the safety not only of the assassins, but to maintain the secrecy of the Illuminated Primacy.

If someone were found to have information they weren't meant to, they'd spend the remainder of their lives in prison. They'd never be allowed to walk free, if someone captured them or they turned traitor, they held enough knowledge to start wars. Something told him the Alliance wouldn't be so kind, not quite so forgiving, and the thought made his blood run cold with fear for her.

Arashu, protect her.

"Oh don't look at me like that!" She rubbed her hand over her forehead. "I know it was stupid. God, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. It goes against everything." She picked up another piece of chocolate and sighed. "No offense, but for all I really know … our meeting might not have been a coincidence. This … " she said, waving her hand back and forth between them, the chocolate still pinched between her thumb and finger. She dropped her gaze, her voice coming out a mere whisper when she finished, saying, "This might all be a trick meant to get information from me." She swallowed hard, dropping the chocolate to her saucer.

Pain flared in his chest, stealing his breath. Fighting to keep his composure, Thane settled his teacup down on the saucer, setting it on the coffee table. He moved the box of chocolates to the table as well, before shifting to sit closer to her. "Jasmine." Easing her tea from her hands, he sat it on the table, taking her hands in his. "You don't ever need to tell me anything about your work. If you are concerned, I swear I'll never ask you anything about your work again—not where you are or who your targets might be—all I care about is you, having the privilege of knowing you. I want you in my life, siha, and I haven't wanted anyone in my life since Irikah died."

Her fingers tightened around his, easing the ache in his chest just a little. Leaning forward, she rested her forehead on his shoulder. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just stressed and being stupid."

Letting go of one of her hands, he cradled the back of her head in his palm, turning his face to breathe in her scent, using it to center himself, steel himself for everything he needed to say. "The day you came to me for help removing the extranet post, you asked if we're friends."

Jasmine snorted, groaning softly, but she didn't speak.

"I told you then we are." Rubbing his thumb over the nape of her neck, he breathed her in again. "You have nothing to fear from me, and if there is ever anything you need, if you ever find yourself in trouble, I insist you come to me. No matter what it is." He pressed his lips to the side of her head. "I admit the word friend is … inadequate. Too simple of a word for what I feel for you, but I meant it, and I will always do whatever I can to aid you."

"Thank you." She shifted against him, fingers clinging to the buckles of his vest. "The same goes for you, you know? If you need anything."

They sat in silence for a moment. He thought about her words, taking comfort in the offer. He never had the opportunity to get close to many people in his life, and even more rarely did someone care enough about him to put themselves at risk for him. Jasmine already risked so much for him, though, how could he ever ask her to risk even more? The day they met, she lied to her employers about him. She followed him into Felton's estate. She took him to the hanar hospital and stayed there with him. Even being with him now, with her handler not far away, meant taking risks.

"Friend didn't exactly cover what I feel, either," she said, breaking the silence.

His heart skipped a beat. Oh, he had no lingering doubts she felt something more for him, but hearing her say it carried so much more weight. "I nearly kissed you that night, in your apartment …." Thane trailed off, remembering what it felt like to be so close to her for the first time, and how easily he'd been dissuaded from giving in to his desires.

"Why didn't you?" She turned her head, her face brushing across his as she nestled into the crook of his neck.

"I—some memories aren't so easily controlled." He swallowed against the knot building in his throat. "Particularly when strong emotions are involved."

Jasmine stilled against him before slowly pulling away, her gaze searching his out. "What did you remember?"

He looked away, needing a moment to find the courage to look her in the eyes while he told her he'd seen his dead wife when he thought about kissing her. Taking a slow, deep breath, he forced his gaze back to hers. "Not what, but who."

Eyes widening, she dropped her hand from his chest, pulling it to her lap but leaving the other in his hand. "Irikah." She pursed her lips and sucked in a breath. "Well that's awkward. Almost as awkward as my shoving my tongue down your throat the same night you told me about her."

Thane chuckled, his shoulders relaxing. "I wouldn't call it awkward." He grinned, looking back at her hand in his. "I've savored reliving that moment every day in your absence … and every night I fall asleep with you in my arms." Looking up, he found her chewing on her lip again, her eyebrows pulled in just a little. He tugged her lip free from her teeth, running his thumb over the delicate, swollen skin. "May I ask you something about that night?"

She nodded, her gaze holding his.

He searched her face as if he might find his answers there and not have to ask her at all, but nothing was ever so simple. "Why were you crying? Did I do something wrong?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. Jasmine put her hand on his, turning to kiss his palm. "You didn't do anything wrong." She folded her fingers around his hand, bringing it down to her lap and pulling the other over, too. Taking a deep breath, she smiled. "I got overwhelmed, is all. My emotions were already running high, and then your venom …." She hesitated, her mouth open, a slight croak escaping her lips. "I couldn't be sure if I kissed you because I wanted to … or if my addiction wanted me to. There's nothing like being a recovered addict to make you doubt your own intentions."

"I see." His heart sank, leaving a cold, empty spot in his chest as he realized his physiology would always be a barrier between them, an obstacle they'd never overcome. "And now?"

She snorted. "Well, I took the supplements before coming over. I'm not high right now, and I still want to kiss you." She grinned, winking at him, squeezing his hands. "I was being stupid. Self-loathing: it's a human specialty."

"Ah. I regret to say, humans aren't the only ones." He shook his head. "I spent these last years since Irikah's death punishing myself. I had terrible dreams that night, after leaving your apartment." He paused, taking a cleansing breath, pushing the memories away, letting himself detach for the moment. He needed to be able to tell Jasmine about the dream without being swept away by the nightmares again. "Dreams of Irikah taunting me from beyond the grave, reminding me I am at fault for her death … for leaving our son."

She winced, her fingers tightening around his. Her lips parted as if to speak, but there was still more he needed to tell her and if he let her speak now, he might not find the strength to continue.

"She told me you'd never …" He paused, considering his words. Love. Irikah said love, but he couldn't repeat that to Jasmine; not now. He refused to presume to know what precisely her heart spoke to her, and as much as he wanted to share with her the depth of his feelings, it hardly felt like the appropriate way to tell her he loved her. " … care for me; you'd learn of her and Kolyat and never forgive me. She said my—she said I'm poison … and I'd kill you, too."

"Oh, Jesus." She brought a hand to her mouth. "That sounds like one hell of a nightmare. But you know it's not true, don't you? Okay, yeah, I got really upset and left when you first told me about Kolyat, but I came back. I came back because I do care about you."

He smiled, his heart warming, pushing back the shadows settling over him while he talked about the night he nearly went to the sea. Just hearing her insist she cared meant everything to him. "And I you." He shook his head. "At the time, however … her words felt real. When I awoke, I took a walk hoping to clear my head. Instead, I ran across a man attacking an asari and chose to intervene." He waved a hand. "She escaped unharmed, but armed with a knife, the man attacked me. I tried to defend myself, of course, but all I saw was Irikah's face, distorted by death; her hand wielded the blade. I was … unsuccessful."

Blinking back tears, Jasmine sniffed. "God, we're both pretty fucked up aren't we? Hopeless."

"Hopeless? No, siha. You didn't just wake me from my battle sleep despite myself, but you have given me hope." He reached out, brushing his fingers over her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "Given my heart reason to beat, given me back a reason to live. Jasmine, if you'll have me, I am yours."

She gave him a lopsided grin, scrubbing her hands over her face. "You're so dramatic." Reaching out, she grabbed ahold of his vest, her fingers slipping between softened leather and warm scales as she used it to pull him to her. "Come here." With her heart slamming against her ribs, she pressed her lips to his before pulling away to whisper, "I'll have you."

Thane beamed at her, his smile lighting up his entire face. His hand cupping her face, he tilted her head up before his mouth crushed down on hers, urgent and filled with more passion than she'd ever felt directed at her in her life. It swallowed her whole, seeping down into her pores, wrapping itself around her heart and binding her to him irrevocably. Leaning into him, she returned his kiss with everything she had, letting everything she felt flow back into him.

Oh God, I love you.

And still she heard a small voice in the back of her head telling her not to; not to love, not to trust. Too late, though. She didn't know exactly when it happened, but there it was, like a blazing beacon flaring to life inside of her, and she couldn't deny it anymore. She loved him, and wanted nothing more than to stay there with him forever, but then he pulled away, leaving her breathless and confused.

She opened her eyes to see him watching her, his brow pulled in tight. She swallowed, the butterflies in her stomach morphing into a knot of writhing snakes. "What's wrong?"

"There's something more I need to tell you, something I should have already told you." His hand slid away from her face, the air chilling her in the absence of his warmth. "Forgive me, I didn't intend to hide it from you, there's just been so much that's happened."

"What is it?" Jasmine licked her lips, pulling up a mask of calm to shield herself with, but instead clinging to it like a life raft. She finally accepted her love for him, given him her heart, and now he was going to rip it from her chest.

"I'm sick, siha." Thane's features shifted, smoothing out, his voice steady despite his words as if he just pulled his own mask into place. "I've suspected for awhile, but the doctors confirmed my illness while in the hospital. My lungs are damaged. It's something many drell experience, we've still not adapted to living in more humid environments … if not treated, it will likely develop into a fatal disease called Kepral's Syndrome, for which there is no cure."

Fatal.

Jasmine felt cold and strangely, completely calm.

He said fatal.

She turned, dropping her foot to the floor and leaning back against the couch. She knew the cushions had to be there—something stopped her collapse—but she didn't feel them. Some distant part of her mind told her she'd felt this before, once long ago when she found her mother dead in a pool of her own blood on the bathroom floor. The EMT and doctors called it shock. She saw him reach out for her in her peripherals, but he didn't make contact, letting his hand drop to his lap instead.

"What treatments will be required will depend on how much damage has already been done, exactly. The hospital on the Citadel didn't have the equipment necessary to do complete scans." He waved his hand, gesturing at nothing in particular. "Few drell pass through the Citadel."

She turned her head to look at him, emotions creeping back in around the edges of her consciousness, leaving her cold and deflated. Wrapping her arms around herself, she rubbed her arms, trying to work some warmth back into herself. "They can't help you there either, then?"

He shook his head. "No. If I'm to receive treatment … I'll need to return to Kahje."

Her eyebrows twitched, her hands stilling. "If?"

"I will go, siha. You have my word. I only wanted a little more time with you before." Thane smiled, a sad, pleading lift of the corners of his mouth. "If you'll still have me."

Jasmine sighed, scooting closer until she curled up against his side. "Come on, you know you can't get rid of me so easily."