Authors note: Part 2 is here! This one is a bit shorter since the last one was so long, hope you guys dont mind.
Elliott watched the supreme's face change as she realized she was caught, and it wasn't what she expected it to be. She expected Cordelia to be cold about it, but honestly she just looked hurt, and that made Elliott even more angry. SHE'S hurt? Elliott was lied to and manipulated, SHE should be the one who's hurt.
Cordelia took a few steps towards Elliott's room, trying to come up with some explanation, "Elle…" Elliott jumped off the bed, shaking her head and walking out of her room, past the supreme, and down the stairs. She stopped to pick up Max and then disappeared, heading towards the greenhouse. Misty looked at Cordelia, waiting for her to say something, but she just stood there. What could she say? "What did she tell you?" Cordelia asked softly, tears forming in her eyes as she slowly made her way into the room, taking in its broken state.
"Not much, she just showed me the birth certificate. Apparently her therapist told her she should read her file, somethin' about it helpin' her with her nightmares. I tried ta talk with her about it, try ta explain, but she didn't want ta listen or say anythin' else. Then you walked out." Misty said, pulling Cordelia onto the bed with her.
"How did she find it? It was in my locked drawer, it didn't even have a label on it, none of my binders do, and no one knows where I keep the key. I don't get it." Cordelia said, confused as to how all of this went down.
"We've got eyes everywhere darlin'. I don't know how she found it, but she did." Misty said honestly.
Cordelia shook her head, "I should have burned it."
"No, what ya shoulda done is tell her in the first place. Then it wouldn't have mattered if she found the file cause ya weren't keepin' anythin' from her." Misty said seriously. She wasn't going to sugar coat it, Cordelia screwed up, and instead of admitting it she was making excuses.
"Did you see how she reacted? This is exactly why I didn't tell her, she hates me." Cordelia said frustrated.
"Do ya really think Elle is upset about you being her birth mom? I mean that might be part of it, don't get me wrong. But Dee, she's angry and hurt that ya lied ta her. It's not like ya didn't have the opportunity ta tell her, ya did but you were scared." Misty said, trying to make the older woman realize where she went wrong.
"So what do I do now? I can't take it back, and Elliott won't give me the time of day to explain myself," Cordelia began, her voice getting slightly louder, "God how did I fuck this up so badly?" Misty just shook her head. She didn't know what to do, it was obvious Elliott already thought she knew why the supreme lied to her, that had to be the reason she was so angry. How can you get through to someone who has already convinced themselves that they know better than you?
Meanwhile, Elliott was out in the greenhouse working on plants with Max. She didn't even really know if she was supposed to be out there, considering Cordelia's freak out earlier, but at this point Cordelia really didn't have any room to tell her what to do. Elliott was trying her best to keep up her cold, numbing anger that she had been using as her shield all day, but it was starting to fade, and now Elliott just wanted to cry. She reignited her anger with a hatred for herself for being so weak. Elliott had been through this before, being lied to and manipulated, she should be used to it. But then again, she was never lied to by someone she actually gave a shit about, and that's what was killing her.
"Hey loser, you stopped breaking shit yet?" Elliott heard behind her, causing her to jump and whip around. "Jesus Sabrina, relax. It's just me." Madison said, her eyes looking Elliott up and down curiously. "So what's your damage?"
Elliott rolled her eyes and turned around, "Nothing. Just leave me alone I'm not in the mood right now Maddie."
"Well it's either you talk to me or Cordi, take your pick." Madison said sarcastically.
"Can one of my options be throwing myself off the roof? Because I would rather do that." Elliott deadpanned.
"I mean you can try, but if you die you'll just get brought back." Madison said seriously, Elliott rolling her eyes. "I know what you need." Madison said as she walked over to a set of cabinets, opening them the pulling out the half drank whiskey they had from earlier, setting it in front of Elliott. "Take a swig." Elliott shook her head. "Come on, just do it. What's Cordelia going to do? Scream at you again? At this point I don't really think you give a fuck." Elliott stared for a moment but took a swig anyways, Madison was right, Elliott couldn't care less right now. "Good. Now, what are you mad about?" Elliott didn't say anything, "I'm not trying to help our dear supreme out, I just want the tea. She can clean up her own mess, it's not my job."
Elliott stared at Madison for a few moments before asking, "How long ago did she tell you she was my birth mom?"
"So she finally told you?" Madison asked back, ignoring the younger witches question.
"No, she didn't." Elliott said, her face hardening.
"Well that explains why she's upstairs crying like a baby to Misty." Elliott rolled her eyes, which Madison definitely noticed. "Alright, we're going to need some more booze if we're going to get into this."
"There's nothing to get into so don't worry about it." Elliott responded coldly.
"Look Elle, you have a right to be mad about it, she should've told you. But there's a lot more to it than that. So, we're going to have a chat, with booze." Madison said, heading back to the cupboard and grabbing two small glasses, pouring the whiskey into them and sitting back down next to Elliott, sliding her the glass. "So, obviously you're upset about more than just the fact that she lied to you, so what is it? You pissed she left you? Because trust me, she did you a favor, that dude was trash."
"I don't care that she's my birth mom, and to be honest I don't give a shit that she left me. She's lied to me this whole time about EVERYTHING. She didn't actually want anything to do with me, she just wanted to keep me here so I didn't become a problem for her." Elliott spit out, her words dripping with venom. She paused for a moment, realizing she still didn't know what Cordelia had told the council, and she turned to Madison curiously, "I need you to let me do something."
"What?" Madison asked, "You need to break some shit?"
"No, I need to look at your memories. It's one of my abilities, I can get inside of people's heads and look at that shit. I want to see what she's said." Elliott said truthfully.
"What does it matter?" Madison asked, not missing a beat despite the girl's revelation.
"It just does. I don't want her to try and cover anything up, to hide anything to make herself look better. I already looked at Misty's and Mallory's. I know she brought me here because she thought I was dangerous and knew if I went against you guys she couldn't stop me." Elliott said, already starting to push inside Madison's head.
"Fine, do it. But you aren't going to find anything." Madison said, curious to see how the girl's ability worked.
Elliott didn't respond, she was already busy searching through the older girl's memories, trying to pick out which one it was. She finally landed on a council meeting from when she first arrived, playing the memory back before Madison's eyes.
"Elliott is my daughter, that's part of the reason why she's here and needs to stay here. There's also a problem with her. My powers have no effect on her, I've tried. She's half witch hunter, which should have meant she wouldn't have abilities at all considering true witch hunters have a block against magic for protection, but it's manifested itself a little differently and instead she has both abilities."
"So what does that mean exactly?"
"Hopefully, nothing. As long as she learns to control her abilities and learns that we aren't the enemy, she's fine. If things go wrong though it could be dangerous. Or if the witch hunters get ahold of her and convince her to help them. If she sees us as the enemy, it's a problem. We need to keep her here, no matter what, if for nothing else our own protection."
"Does she know she can do this?"
"No, not that I know of, and she won't if I can help it."
Elliott pulled back, not wanting to see anything else. Suddenly it made sense why Cordelia had always been so adamant about her staying at the coven, about controlling her; it was because she knew she couldn't control her magically. Elliott tried to think of a time one of the witches had used their powers on her, but the only thing she could think of was Mallory healing her, and even that she couldn't do easily. Suddenly she regretted looking in everyone's head, she didn't want to see this shit, she just wanted to be left alone. The amount of complications and lies in this whole thing made her head spin. She was half witch hunter? Talk about science experiment gone wrong. Elliott made eye contact with Maddie, who just stared at her curiously, and took a big swig of her drink, relishing in the burning feeling as it was going down. "You ok?" Madison asked.
"No." Elliott replied, taking another swig.
"Listen, none of us agreed with her choice not to tell you, we all thought you should've found out at some point before this, but it wasn't ours to tell you. It had to come from Cordelia." Madison said softly.
"Ha, she was never going to tell me. Not if she could help it. She doesn't care, she just wants to keep you all safe, that was the whole point of this." Elliott sneered, the anger rising once again.
"Listen, I'm the last person to advocate for Cordelia, she and I have never really gotten along. And from what you've seen, you have every right to be mad at her, it looks bad. At the beginning yea, she was worried about the coven and that was her main priority. But things changed Elle, her main priority became you, and everyone knows it. She loves you, regardless of whatever lies she told you or whatever you think she did." Madison said truthfully.
Elliott scoffed, "She doesn't love me, she manipulated me, she just wanted to keep me here."
"Elliott, let's be real here. Cordelia is a soft bitch. She sucks at lying, she cries all the time, she's definitely not "Manipulator" material. I mean, you knew something was off the ENTIRE time you were here. If she really was working that hard to keep you in the dark, don't you think she would have done a better job of it?" Madison asked, trying to get through to the girl. "I get it, you've dealt with a lot of bad shit in your life, and you're expecting the worst. But don't throw away the best thing that's ever happened to you over something like this, at the very least hear what she has to say, and actually LISTEN Elle."
Elliott just stared at her while the older girl picked up the empty glasses and slipped them back into the cabinet along with the bottle of whiskey. She knew Madison was right, but she wanted to be angry, she needed to be angry, because if she wasn't angry that meant she was going to be hurt and upset and cry, and she didn't want to cry, anger was easier to deal with. Madison excused herself and headed back to the house, leaving Elliott outside alone once again, but this time at least she had a good strong buzz going, that was making her feel a little better.
Elliott stayed out in the greenhouse for a little while longer, it was getting late and she needed to go to bed. She picked Max up and hoped that everyone had magically gone to sleep early that night, but somehow she doubted it. Her doubts were confirmed when she stepped inside the kitchen through the side door, hearing Misty and Cordelia softly talking in the living room. She shut the door behind her and quickly the living room went silent, waiting for her to appear in the doorframe. Elliott took her time coming into view, choosing to grab a glass of water and something small to eat before she did. She was nervous and you could tell, her hands shaky and her thoughts jumbled as she prepared for what was to come.
Cordelia and Misty sat in the other room silent, waiting for what was to come next. Elliott didn't appear for a while, but in that time she was moving around the kitchen her abilities were misfiring, showing Cordelia memories before her eyes, but this time they weren't her memories, they were Elliott's. Cordelia wasn't even sure if the girl knew what she was doing, and she wasn't going to alert her of it, it was the only way the supreme could get a sense of how the girl was feeling and what exactly was going on. The memories came in quick flashes, Spalding telling Elliott where the key was, him saying she looked like Fiona, Elliott's conversation with David about how Cordelia was using her, a few brief memories from her foster homes that Cordelia couldn't make any sense of. The two older women could feel the power radiating throughout the whole house, making the pictures on the wall vibrate slightly. It scared Cordelia, the last time she had felt Elliott's powers like this, her anger, was the night at the corner store. The supreme felt like she was back at square one with the girl, and a large part of her feared she would never be able to get back to where they were, all of their hard work ruined in a split second.
Elliott finally appeared in the doorway, Misty looking up at her and smiling softly while Cordelia looked away. Partly it was because Cordelia didn't want the girl to see her red rimmed eyes, and partly it was that the supreme didn't think she could handle seeing the girl look at her with such disgust, she was about one wrong look away from a meltdown, desperately trying to keep her shit together long enough to actually talk to the young witch.
Elliott moved to put Max back in his pen and started to make her way towards the stairs, Misty stopping her in her tracks. "Elle, could ya come sit down please?"
Elliott turned and looked at her for a minute, debating on whether she should even bother. "I'm tired; I want to go to bed. We can talk tomorrow."
"Elliott, please.." Cordelia said softly, her voice thick with tears, cracking at the end as she looked towards the girl.
Elliott looked at the older woman and saw the tear tracks down her face, her eyes a bright red, and suddenly she felt very VERY guilty. She was trying to uphold her "I don't care" façade, but it was quickly crumbling. As much as Elliott tried to force herself to believe Cordelia didn't care about her, that this was all a plan to keep the young witch to stay, she knew it wasn't. It was easier for Elliott to believe that it was though, because then she could completely detach herself from this woman, from this place. When actual feelings got involved, that's where it got complicated. So, Elliott nodded softly and went to sit down in one of the chairs, choosing the one on the opposite end from the supreme. Elliott couldn't avoid the conversation any longer, so she was going to have to face it head on.
The three of them sat in silence for a moment, no one wanting to be the first person to speak. Elliott looked over at Misty, wondering why she was even there if no one was going to speak. Misty looked over at Cordelia, who was just staring at the mug in her hands, and offered her a small, "Dee?"
Cordelia sat there for a moment, thinking of what to say. She had no excuse, no good reason why all of this was happening, it was her fault. Her own stupidity had gotten her into this, her own fears, and she didn't know how to make the girl understand that. All that she could offer the girl was a small, quiet, "I'm sorry..." Elliott looked away from her as the older woman started to cry again. "I was going to tell you, I was, I just didn't know how. I was stupid, there's no excuse for it."
Elliott paused for a moment, taking in what the supreme was telling her. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked softly, the edge gone from her voice.
"Because of this, I knew you would react like this. I didn't want you to hate me for everything that's happened. And I knew if I told you, you would." Cordelia said truthfully, wiping at her tears as she looked up at the girl.
Elliott looked at her confused for a moment, trying to understand what the supreme was telling her. "I don't blame you for what happened, and I'm not upset that you're my birth mom. I don't care about any of that. I reacted this way because you lied to me for MONTHS. Hell, if you had even told me before you left I still wouldn't have been mad, but you didn't, I had to find it on my own. That's why I'm angry." She said, her voice regaining its slight edge. Did Cordelia really not understand at all?
"Elle…" Misty began.
"No, she had plenty of times she could have told me, and she didn't. She lied to me about Fiona, she lied about knowing my parents, and for what? So I would stay here and she could make sure I didn't destroy the coven? Everything, since the moment I got here has been a lie. Everyone knew but me. The only person who was actually honest with me was fucking Spalding, and he's fucking DEAD." Elliott spit out, getting angrier by the second.
"Elle, she wasn't hiding it ta hurt you, I promise ya that babe. She wanted ta protect ya. That's all any of us were tryin' to do. She loves ya and she was scared, she didn't want ta lose ya." Misty tried to reason with the younger girl.
"No, she wanted to protect the coven, that's all any of this was about. She didn't care about me." Elliott spewed out, causing everyone to look at her.
Cordelia was on the verge of sobbing, she had no idea what to do. Nothing she could say would convince the girl she was wrong. How was she supposed to prove she cared about Elliott more than she cared about herself? "I didn't know Fiona was seeing you, I really didn't." She began, "I was furious she didn't tell me, because if she had I would have gotten you out of there in a second, and she knew that. She hid it from me. And I should have been honest and told you then, but I was scared, and that doesn't make it right and it doesn't make it ok. I screwed up, and I know that. But me caring about you? That wasn't a lie. I love you Elle, and that's not going to change. Yes, I did bring you here because I thought you were dangerous, and I didn't expect anything to come of it, but it did. And I'm sorry I lied to you and I'm sorry I made you feel like this, I should've trusted you more. Hell, it wasn't even that I didn't trust you, I didn't trust myself. Because I knew that I shouldn't have given you up in the first place, it wasn't what I wanted, and I knew that everything that happened to you was my fault. None of it would have happened if you were here with me, and it fucking killed me. You should blame me, I blame me."
Elliott just sat there, she didn't know what to say. She knew at least most of what Cordelia was saying was true, that she really didn't know Fiona was in her life, that Cordelia blamed herself for everything that had happened, but Elliott still was furious that the supreme lied to her. She didn't know how she would get over that, or if she ever would. Cordelia looked her in the eyes and saw all the hurt that was written across her face, and she completely broke down in sobs, hating herself for everything that had happened. There wasn't anything she could do to fix this, to prove to the girl that she actually did care, all she could do was try to prove it to the girl in the future, if Elliott would even let her. Cordelia felt powerless, destroyed by her own actions.
Misty did her best to comfort the woman, but there wasn't much she could do but hold her. She couldn't make this go away, she couldn't fix things between Cordelia and Elliott, all she could do was be there for them and try to get them to talk to each other. She looked over at Elliott and saw tears streaming down her face as well, they were both hurting.
Misty offered a hand to Elliott but Elliott shook her head. Elliott could see how much this was tearing up Cordelia, and it made her feel awful, she didn't deserve that. As much as Elliott wanted to be mad and tell the older woman she never wanted to see her again, that they were done, she couldn't walk away, not when Cordelia was like this. So Elliott stood and motioned for Misty to scoot over, sitting down next to the supreme and pulling the older woman to her and letting her cry, Cordelia clinging to her for dear life, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.." Over and over again. Elliott was still angry, and she still would continue to be, but not right now. Right now Cordelia needed her, and so she was going to be there. Elliott wasn't sure what was going to happen between the two of them going forward, but she decided they would just take it one day at a time.
Elliott held the woman for a while until she calmed down, whispering to her "It will be ok, it's ok." Elliott knew the woman didn't do this to hurt her, and if Elliott were in her position she would have done the same thing. She didn't want to risk losing her, so she lied, and Elliott didn't completely blame her for that. Elliott knew better than anyone that she was unpredictable, that she reacted dramatically to very small things, so something like this absolutely could have sent her over the edge. It was partly her fault, she didn't open up to anyone, didn't really let anyone get close enough to understand exactly how she worked, but she did like to think she was trying. The three women sat there until they had all calmed down, then they went off to bed silently. Nothing else was spoken, nothing was fixed, they just left it, deciding it could wait until another day.
The next few weeks were tense, Elliott and Cordelia barely speaking, not that it was on purpose necessarily. Cordelia had been busy with the council and making sure everyone was safe, hiring round the clock security for the house and for all the members, even the girls and boys at home for the summer. There had been a slew of other crimes that were committed against them, but none of them resulted in any real injury to members of the coven, just things that shook them all to the core. No one really left the house anymore, not unless it was absolutely necessary, and no one came in except for Zoe and Elliott's therapist, not even David. Elliott had spent most of her time in the greenhouse with Misty or training Max, who was now completely potty trained. Queenie, Mallory and Madison were all helping Zoe plan her wedding with Kyle, so everyone had sort of found something to occupy their time while being trapped inside the fence.
Elliott had just finished her weekly therapy session, which had quickly turned from dealing with her past to dealing with Cordelia's revelation. They had spent the past three weeks dealing with how Elliott felt, and how she was going to proceed, and really they hadn't gotten anywhere, just going in circles. A large part of Elliott wanted to just close herself back off, to call off the adoption altogether and just be a student at the school, nothing more, but Elliott's therapist thought that would do more harm than good, that by closing herself off she wasn't properly dealing with it. Elliott sort of agreed, but actually dealing with it would be more difficult, and Elliott found she really didn't trust Cordelia at all anymore. How could they go through with the adoption when she was feeling like that? The therapist agreed that the adoption should be put on hold, and even recommended they do a joint session, but Elliott didn't want to do that, Cordelia was too busy and Elliott just wanted to avoid the whole thing, not wanting to risk the supreme melting down again.
The therapist moved on and started discussing Elliott's past once again, trying to figure out why Elliott had such a hard time trusting people, especially ones who seemed to actually care. Elliott freely discussed this, talking about all the abusive homes she was in and the first family she was placed with who wanted to adopt her, but didn't. It became clear that Elliott didn't have just an issue with Cordelia, she couldn't trust anyone, she purely wasn't capable after everything she had been through, her emotions numbed out from all her previous homes. This wasn't uncommon with kids who grew up in foster care, but it was still alarming. Most kids at least understood that what they were doing was unhealthy, but Elliott didn't seem to see it as unhealthy at all, in fact she was almost proud of it, like it was a badge of honor.
The two finished their therapy session and off the therapist went, leaving Elliott alone once again. The young girl stayed in the library, choosing to do some research about witch hunters, find out a little bit on where exactly she came from. She didn't want to ask Cordelia about it, so she decided she would look into it on her own. She sat there reading for a few hours, trying to take in as much as she could, and by the time she was done she felt more confused than before. Witch hunters sole purpose in life was to kill witches, they hated them, so how did she get here?
She was roused out of her thoughts by a knock on the door, and was surprised to see Cordelia standing there. "Uh, dinners ready, you want to go down?"
Elliott nodded and stood up heading towards the door but stopping when Cordelia didn't move, "What?"
Cordelia looked at her apprehensively, obviously needing to say something else, but you could tell she was nervous. "The council has to go to California to meet with the boys school, talk over the new security. We leave tomorrow."
"Ok, you have that chain ready to tie me to my bed?" Elliott joked, not really understanding why the supreme was being so weird.
Cordelia let out a small laugh, the tension breaking a bit before she said, "No, I don't even think a chain will stop you from leaving, you'll take the whole bed with you. I'm taking you with me."
The meaning behind what she said was crystal clear: Elliott couldn't be trusted to be left here, so she was bringing her with her. Elliott's face fell but she nodded, motioning for the supreme to head down the stairs to the other girls. She wasn't angry, she understood why this was happening, it didn't make it any less hurtful though.
Dinner went off as normal, Madison and Queenie complaining about Zoe's choices for her wedding, Mallory and Misty discussing new herbal remedies they found, and Cordelia and Elliott trying to include themselves in the conversations, although the two of them never were involved in the same one. They shared a few glances from across the table, but that was it. Dinner wrapped up and they all went their separate ways, Elliott heading to play with Max in the living room.
While Elliott was busy playing tug of war with the small dog, Cordelia grabbed herself a glass of wine and went to sit on the couch, watching them for a moment. "Where did his pen go?" She asked softly, getting the girl to look up at her.
"He doesn't need it anymore so we put it away, it was taking up a lot of space." Elliott responded, laughing when Max managed to pull the rope away from her, swinging it back and forth in his mouth.
"Why doesn't he need it? He can't wander the house until he's trained Elle." Cordelia said confused.
"He is trained; he's been trained for two weeks now." Elliott responded, grabbing the rope from Max and tugging on it once again.
"You trained him already? Jeez, where have I been?" Cordelia said, finally realizing just how much she had missed.
"On the phone with angry men in your study. It was pretty easy to train him, not like we had a whole lot to do around here, so it was either do that or throw myself off the roof." Elliott joked.
The supreme chuckled a bit, settling into the couch and watching the dog fight for the rope, knocking himself over onto his back as Elliott pulled the rope towards her, dragging him along with it. "When did he get so big? He was like the size of my hand two weeks ago, now he's an actual puppy."
"I know right? He grew overnight, I thought someone switched him out. My bet's on Madison, she hates him." Elliott said, obviously joking but her tone was serious.
"Madison does not HATE him. She just doesn't show emotion, it's different." Cordelia joked back.
"She tried to throw him out with the trash last week!" Elliott said loudly, whipping her head around towards the supreme.
"Did she really?" Cordelia asked, stunned.
Elliott nodded as Max let go of the rope, walking away from Elliott and jumping on the couch with Cordelia. "Well I guess he's done." She said with a chuckle tossing the rope to the side. "How long are we going for by the way, to California?"
"A week, if I can make it that long before I kill them all. If not, three days and then four days of vacation." Cordelia joked, getting up to get another glass of wine.
"I think the four days of vacation would kill you more, you're a workaholic." Elliott joked back.
"I am NOT a workaholic." Cordelia said as she disappeared into the kitchen. While everything seemed to be normal between the two of them, it wasn't. Sure they were joking around, but Cordelia knew Elliott was still closed off. She hadn't even mentioned therapy earlier or anything about herself, choosing instead to make lighthearted jokes, not that the supreme had really tried to open up the conversation.
"You absolutely are." Elliott said seriously as the supreme came to sit back down, causing the older woman to roll her eyes.
"How was therapy?" Cordelia asked, gauging the girl's reaction to see where they stood.
"Fine." Elliott said off handedly, not giving up much else.
"You talk to David recently?" Cordelia tried again, hoping the girl would give more than a one-word answer.
"Yea, he's ok." Elliott responded, still not making eye contact. David was not ok, he had lost his job at the corner store and was struggling to pay his rent, but Cordelia didn't need to know that. The best way for the two women to proceed was to keep things as surface level as possible, Elliott wasn't ready to open back up to the woman, at least not yet.
"What were you reading earlier? You seemed pretty immersed in it?" Cordelia asked, trying her best to turn the conversation to more than just some jokes.
Elliott hesitated before answering, she wasn't sure exactly how much Cordelia knew she knew, "Oh, yea. It was just about witch hunters and stuff. It was pretty good."
Cordelia slowly nodded as her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach, Madison had told her she showed Elliott her memories, that Elliott knew she was half witch hunter. "Anything you want to ask me about?"
"No, not really, it's pretty self-explanatory." Elliott responded. There were things she wanted to ask, but not anything that wouldn't be extremely invasive. It hadn't gone unnoticed that Cordelia never brought up Hank, and Elliott didn't feel right forcing her to hash all that out, she could find things out on her own.
The conversation lulled and the two sat in silence for a few minutes until Cordelia spoke. "Elle… What do I have to do?" She asked softly, getting the younger girl to look up at her.
Elliott was slightly confused by the question, but the realization of what the supreme was asking quickly hit her, and she shook her head. "There's nothing to do."
"There has to be something, I hate this." Cordelia said softly.
"We're fine." Elliott responded quietly, knowing they really weren't.
"No, we aren't. You don't trust me and its obvious and I don't blame you, I just want to fix it." Cordelia said truthfully, her voice wavering.
Elliott shook her head once again before saying, "It's just something I have to work on, it's not you, really. I have to go pack for tomorrow, we leave pretty early."
Cordelia watched the girl as she walked upstairs into her room, feeling defeated. They really were starting over, but this time Cordelia knew exactly what she was missing out on, and it killed her. She stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing the whole bottle of wine before resumed her position on the couch, drinking the remainder of it herself as she sat and listened to the girl shuffle around upstairs. She went to grab another as she saw the girl's light turn out, it now well past 10pm, and she sat by herself, drinking the other bottle until she was definitely intoxicated. She was at a loss for what to do, nothing she said was good enough, nothing she did would make the girl truly understand how sorry she was and show her how much she cared, absolutely nothing. All she could do was hope Elliott would eventually come around, and she didn't know if she could wait that long.
She sat drinking by herself until 2 am when she heard a blood curdling scream erupt from upstairs in Elliott's room, and she quickly took off to see what was wrong, flinging open the door and seeing the girl sitting straight up in bed, sobbing uncontrollably. She moved toward the bed and Elliott quickly backed herself into the corner, curling up into a ball and shielding herself from the woman. "Elle? Sweetie what happened?"
Elliott didn't respond, just continued sobbing as the supreme tried to talk to her. She wasn't even fully aware of where she was, all she knew was the crippling fear that was consuming her.
She remembered, she finally remembered what happened in her fourth home, and suddenly she wished she had never tried to remember, because not knowing was so much better than this. She didn't want to have to explain to Cordelia that her foster parents hated her, that they would beat the shit out of her whenever they were drunk or high, and she definitely didn't want to have to explain that whenever she was in trouble or they just didn't want her around, they would lock her in a cabinet under the sink and give her drugs to keep her quiet. She didn't want to explain her deathly fear of needles, or that she had almost OD'd twice while they were having a party. She didn't want to explain how scared she was whenever they gave her something new, or how she used to claw at her own eyes whenever they would give her heroin. She didn't want to talk, or speak, or move, or exist. She didn't have the energy to deal with Cordelia or anyone, she just wanted to be left alone, forever.
Cordelia kept trying to talk to her but she just kept sobbing, and it went on for hours until her entire face hurt and her throat burned. The woman eventually gave up on talking, instead grabbing the girl and pulling her towards her, letting her sob in her lap as she stroked her hair and rubbed circles soothingly on her back. Delia didn't know what to do, she hadn't had a nightmare this bad in over a month, and she had absolutely no idea what it could be about. The girl's sobs quieted down, replaced with soft hiccups and Cordelia tried to talk to her again, but still got no response, so the two sat in silence for a while.
Elliott felt guilty for not responding to the older woman, but she truly didn't know what to say. She knew Cordelia would want some sort of explanation, but she didn't have one to give. How was she supposed to explain this?
Elliott sat up in bed, pulling away from the woman, and wiped her eyes with her hands, still battling with her hiccups. Cordelia noticed how glazed over the girl's eyes looked. "I'm sorry. I'm ok now, you can go, really." The young girl offered her.
"You are not ok, and I'm not going anywhere." Cordelia began, stunned. How could Elliott think Cordelia would just walk away when she was so obviously upset? "Talk to me Elle. What was the dream about?"
Elliott shook her head and placed it in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You never want to talk about, but you have to Elle. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on." Cordelia said softly, trying to reason with the girl.
"I'm not going to talk about it, it will just make you upset." Elliott responded, clearly agitated.
"It might, but that's ok. I can handle it. What was the dream about? When you were in foster care?" Cordelia responded, trying to feign strength. Elliott didn't want the supreme to blame herself, that much was clear, but Elliott shouldn't be bottling it all up just to keep the older woman from being upset, that wasn't her job.
Elliott nodded at her, but didn't offer much else, still trying to process. "Elle?" The supreme tried again. She wasn't leaving until Elliott at least gave her something to go on, and she wasn't leaving the girl when she was obviously still upset, even if that's what Elliott wanted.
"I just want to go to bed. You should too. We can talk about it later." Elliott finally said, her voice letting the supreme know there was no room to press further.
Cordelia sighed, but conceded under one condition, "Fine. But you're staying with me tonight. No exceptions."
Elliott threw her a glare and the woman just glared back, a silent standoff until Elliott finally stood from the bed, giving in and motioning for the supreme to move along. The two slowly made their way to Cordelia's room and Elliott didn't hesitate to get into bed and pull the covers completely over her, turning away from the supreme's side as Cordelia got into pj's. "Goodnight." Cordelia said softly but jokingly, laughing to herself a bit about the broody teenager's antics.
"Night." Elliott replied quietly as the supreme got into bed, turning out the light behind her. Cordelia kept herself awake until the girl was asleep next to her, and she found she was literally watching the girl breathe, looking for any signs of distress. She hated that Elliott wouldn't talk to her, and she hated feeling so distanced from the girl, but she knew it was her own doing. She laid down and beat herself up a bit more for the events that transpired, something she had done every day since they had occurred. Cordelia wanted nothing more than to fix it, but she knew she couldn't. She stayed up until the sun began to rise, then finally fell asleep knowing she could only get a few hours of good sleep before they had to leave.