Joker slowly returned to the world around him. He stretched lazily, enjoying the softness of the bed, the smoothness of the sheets the warmth of Shep … the cold sheets brought him to full awareness and he rolled over. He glanced up at her office to find it empty as well and there were no sounds from the bathroom. She was gone. He dropped onto his back and something caught his eye, his omnitool was flashing.

'Hey there cutie,' Shepard grinned out from the vidscreen.

Joker shook his head at the nickname, he would never live it down if anyone else heard it. Shepard had obviously recorded this before she left and he was surprised he hadn't woken up.

'You looked so peaceful I told EDI to let you have a couple of hours longer, I know you were up late running diagnostics so you needed to sleep.' She shook her head, 'you know there are other people who can do some of that work.'

Joker smiled, really, pot, kettle. Looking at her image the after effects of drinking Ryncol were not obvious, but he noticed the tension around her eyes and he was pretty sure she'd have a headache.

'When you drag that gorgeous body of yours out of bed can you ready a course for the Citadel. I need to talk to you about something later. Right now I have to go shoot someone and blow shit up. Love you.'

It came as no surprise that even though she had been sound asleep when he curled up beside her she still knew he'd come to bed late. Even in her inebriated state she still wrapped his arm around her and snuggled into him when he lay down beside her. He also had no doubt that she'd asked EDI, her concern for his welfare was appreciated but she had bigger things to worry about than his sleeping habits.

He forcibly dragged himself into the shower, remembering to clean up after himself, these were Shepard's quarters and he didn't want her tossing him out because he forgot to put the toilet seat down or left his towel on the floor. Feeling a bit more alive he wandered into the mess to grab breakfast before heading to the bridge.

'EDI, how long has the Commander been planetside?' he slid into his chair and instinctively pulled up the feed from the ground team.

'Two hours, forty six minutes and twenty eight seconds.' The blue orb that was EDI popped into life alongside him. 'Are you adequately refreshed and ready for duty, Mr Moreau?'

'Yeah, why?' He glanced sideways.

'Commander Shepard was quite adamant that you be allowed to sleep, she was concerned for your welfare.'

'Really,' he couldn't help the grin that broke out.

'Yes, in fact, her words were, "If anyone wakes Joker in the next two hours I will hold you responsible and rip your wires out", I believe she was serious.'

Joker laughed, 'I wouldn't risk it either but thanks for the sleep.'

'I did not mention that you spent part of your shift wiping my bridge cameras with grease, I would prefer it if you cleaned it off.'

'Only if you stop watching me all the time, it's kinda creepy.' He brought up the sound from the ground team as he started his pre-flight checks.

'It is my job to monitor the ship and crew so I can report any lack in efficiency or minor problems that may escalate into major ones.'

'Just exactly who do you report to and how often?' Joker spun slightly to face her orb.

'I send three weekly reports, one to Miranda as the leader of the Lazarus Cell, one to the Illusive Man and one to Kelly Chambers.'

Joker couldn't help the way his stomach rolled, everyone but Shepard was kept in the loop. 'Why don't you send one to the Commander?'

'She is not listed as a recipient of my reports.'

'EDI, I think you should add her to your list. If she finds out you've been reporting and not including her she will definitely rip your wires out.' Joker had no doubt Shepard would be angry about the AI going behind her back, she was already pissed that Miranda reported directly to TIM and not to her. 'Why do you send a report to Chambers?'

'Miss Chambers is responsible for crew morale and well being, it is her job to deal with personal issues before they become a problem.'

Crap! Shepard would definitely not be happy about that. She had her own way of dealing with the crew and it worked fine. 'Damn, the Commander will not be happy about that.'

'Is this too going to be a problem?' EDI almost sounded concerned.

'I think so,' Joker shook his head, 'TIM should have done his homework better.'

The sound of cursing pulled his attention back to the suit feed in time to see the remains of a female Krogan being covered up. He'd never thought about female Krogans before, obviously there had to be females for the race to survive, although the Asari didn't seem to need two sexes. From the quick glimpse he guessed that the females were not a lot different from the males, they were still huge and he wouldn't like to meet one in the dark.

'Mr Moreau, I have noticed a decrease in Commander Shepard's stress levels since the two of you began spending time together. She also seems more determined in her desire to defeat the Collectors.'

'Hang around us humans long enough and you'll realise that if we have someone to fight for it makes us more determined and having someone to care for gives you a reason to fight.'

'If this is so then why is Operative Lawson so concerned about your relationship with Commander Shepard. It would be more sensible to encourage anything that improves the mission success.'

'Because Miranda is a control freak and we scare her,' Joker chuckled and shook his head. 'She should have done her homework as well.'

'So any kind of interference or sabotage of your relationship may cause the mission to fail simply because Commander Shepard has nothing to fight for.'

Joker sighed, EDI was a machine how did you explain love to a machine. 'Sortta, she will still fight to save others but her heart would not be in it, she wouldn't fight to stay alive herself.'

'So the same would apply to yourself, you would not wish to live if Commander Shepard did not survive.'

Memories flooded in, he hadn't wanted to live, in fact he'd given up trying for a while. Months of his life were nothing but a hazy cloud of grey, 'Yeah, something like that.'

'I have determined that in the best interests of this mission, the ship and crew both you and Commander Shepard need to survive and be together. It is also in my best interests to have you at the helm. However, my programming parameters prevent me from aiding in any way other than to report what I see and hear to The Illusive Man, Operative Lawson and Miss Chambers. I will also pass those reports on to Commander Shepard in future.'

'That's a start,' Joker nodded and thought for a moment, 'EDI, is there anything in your programming that prevents you from reporting to Shepard before you report to everyone else?'

'There is no designation of order, only that I report regularly. All the ships logs are automatically fed to Operative Lawson.'

'Then maybe you should send the reports to Shepard first. Can you send a copy of the logs to the Commander?'

'I have no orders to the contrary so yes.'

'That would be a good idea.'

'Mr Moreau, I believe I have misunderstood certain elements of human behaviour and therefore have deliberately caused interference in your relationship with the Commander. This will not happen again.'

Joker was a little dumbfounded, an AI feeling guilty, 'Ahh, thanks, EDI that would be nice.'

The sound of the Commander cursing dragged his attention back to the mission feed. He watched through the feed from Garrus' suit and could see frustration on Shepards face. Mordin was working on a terminal and he watched as she looked over his shoulder, shaking her head at whatever she was reading. He sensed she was upset but it was developing into anger.

'Hey, babe, you okay,' he spoke into her private channel and she almost jumped but was quick to give a half smile.

'Yeah, just what we've found down here, it's not good.' She sighed and he could see the tiredness in her posture. 'It's good to hear your voice.'

'You should have woken me before you left.'

'But you looked so cute,' she was grinning and he couldn't help but groan.

'You know pet names are fair game if anyone else calls me that,' he tried to sound serious but failed. 'I'm sure I could come up with something totally ridiculous.'

'Noted.' She chuckled. 'We'll be heading back shortly so make sure we're ready to leave.'

'Aye, aye, ma'am,' he smirked as he added, 'how's the hangover?'

She groaned and shook her head, 'remind me never to drink that stuff again, the implants help me recover quicker but they don't get rid of the aftertaste and it sucks. Not to mention the headache.'

'Self inflicted,' he laughed, 'I suppose you expect sympathy.'

'You mean you don't care enough to give me any,' she pouted and he laughed even more.

'We are still talking sympathy here, right?'

'You had something else in mind,' she chuckled.

'Finished, Shepard. Data downloaded,' Mordin broke into their conversation. 'Ready to leave.'

'Okay, Joker, we're on our way back.'

'Roger that,' he checked the pre-flight diagnostic results and laid in a course for the Citadel. 'EDI, I'm going to get coffee and meet the shuttle, let me know if you need me.'

'Of course, Mr Moreau.'

Joker was just finished his coffee when his omitool pinged to let him know the shuttle was docking. He dropped his cup in the sink and made his way to the elevator. The doors were just closing when Chambers pushed her way in. He didn't think much of it until she pushed him up against the wall, wrapped her leg around him and planted her lips heavily on his, her hands gripping his hair and pushing his hat sideways.

Joker was so shocked it took him a moment to respond but that was long enough for the elevator to stop and the doors opened onto the hangar deck. Chambers pulled back and there was triumph on her face.

'What the fuck!'

Joker looked up to see Shepard staring back at him, hurt and disappointment obvious on her face. Before he could speak she turned and walked away. He angrily pushed Chambers away, not caring that she stumbled against the wall. Shepard, he had to find her. Shit! Why now! He stepped onto the deck and came face to face with Garrus.

'Joker, what's going on?' The Turian was confused and getting angry.

'Get that bitch away from me!' Joker motioned angrily to Chambers, his heart was pounding and his hands were shaking. 'Where's Shepard?'

'She headed that way,' he pointed to the bay doors then stepped into the elevator as Chambers tried to step out. 'You'd better get this sorted.' He pushed the button as Mordin stepped in and the doors closed.

Shepard couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true, she was dreaming and soon she would wake up. She pinched herself and groaned when it hurt and she didn't wake. So not dreaming. Why? He'd said he loved her, wanted her. She'd opened herself up to him, allowed him in and he'd played her for a fool. NO! She didn't want to believe it, couldn't believe it. Tears burned and she forced them back, she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't going to let him see how much he hurt her.

'Shepard,' Joker came up behind her and she sucked in a breath before turning to face him but she wouldn't look at him, she didn't want him to see the pain in her eyes.

'You know if you wanted out you just had to say so.' She went to push past him but he grabbed her arm.

'Shepard stop.' He fought to hold on but she shook him off and walked back towards the elevator. He followed but she was faster than him and he knew she wouldn't wait. 'Ari, please, don't shut me out.' It was a plea and it tore at her heart.

She stopped walking but didn't turn around. She heard his awkward steps behind her, sensed his nearness and her heart broke. She loved him, more than she'd realised and it tore her apart to think of him with someone else. But she wouldn't hold him if that's where he wanted to be.

Not knowing what to say she whispered over her shoulder and he had to strain to hear her. 'I won't get in your way if you want to be with someone else.'

'I don't want to fucking be with anyone else. I just want you!' He was yelling now, she was closing off and he knew if he didn't stop her from putting those barriers back up he had no chance of making this right.

'Then why the fuck….' She yelled and finally turned to look at him, the pain in his eyes was almost her undoing. She choked back a sob, 'why?'

'Do you remember yesterday I wanted to speak to you about something,' Joker sounded desperate, agonised and she wanted to take him in her arms and kiss his pain away.

'So this was it,' her own pain took over and a tear rolled down her cheek.

'No, yes, but not what you think,' he moaned and slid to the floor against a crate, taking off his cap and running his hands through his hair. 'Why did you have to get drunk last night? I would have been able to warn you.'

'What, warn me that you were about to break my heart,' she looked at him wide eyed.

'No, warn you about Chambers, about Miranda,' he buried his face in his hands and her heart went out to him.

Something else was going on here so she slid to the floor alongside him, not touching but close enough to feel his warmth. She longed to reach out to him but she was still hurting. She needed to know that she hadn't been wrong to give him her heart.

'Tell me,' she said softly.

Joker buried his face in his hands to cover the tears that threatened. This was one relationship he didn't want to stuff up, to lose. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and tell her he loved her but right now he didn't think she'd believe him. The pain in her eyes matched his own. He wanted to kill Miranda, he cursed Chambers for making her move so soon and was a little angry at Shepard for getting drunk so he couldn't warn her.

He felt her slide down alongside him but still distant and he yearned for her touch. She was so close and yet there was a chasm between them that he hoped he could build a bridge across. He could feel the heat of her, he could smell her, the sweat, the gun oil. It drove him mad that he couldn't reach out for her.

'Tell me.'

He raised his head and looked at her, his tears lingering. His heart broke at the despair in her eyes and his guts churned at the thought that he was responsible. Instinctively he went to reach for her but she flinched and he pulled his hand back.

'EDI, privacy please.' He glanced at the ceiling as he dropped his head back against the crate.

'Logging you out.'

'Jacob came to see me yesterday morning,' he started, his voice trembled and he held up his hand when she went to speak. 'Let me finish, please. He wanted to warn me about Miranda and her plans to come between us, to get back control of you.' He felt her tense beside him and he took a deep breath before continuing, 'he was supposed to try and seduce you into bed and brag about it so I'd walk away.' He watched as anger clouded her face. 'Chambers was ordered to get me into a compromising position, which she succeeded in doing today.'

'Why?' Confusion was obvious in her voice and he turned to face her.

'Because she feels as if she's losing control. She's a Cerberus Operative and this is her cell, she's in charge. There is no option for failure with TIM and she's scared.' He reached for her hand and this time she didn't flinch away. 'Ari, I love you, there is no-one else for me, there never will be. Chambers took me by surprise and I didn't have time to knock her on her ass.' He frowned, 'believe me I'd like to do worse than that but I'd probably break something.'

'I'll do it for you when I throw her out the airlock,' Shepard growled and turned to face him. 'I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, I just saw …. I was…..'

'Hey, it's okay,' he cupped her face and kissed her lightly, 'just think of the make up sex.'

She laughed, 'so should I be concerned that all of this is just another excuse to get me into bed.'

'I'd love to get into your pants but we have a problem to sort out,' he sighed and took both her hands in his. 'Jacob refused to follow Miranda's orders but if she finds out he told me she'll kill him, probably literally. He respects us both too much to betray us.'

'That's good to know,' Shepard laced her fingers through his. 'I think we need to have a talk with Miranda and Chambers.'

'I think we have an ally,' he grinned, 'EDI, can you help me with something?' He raised his eyebrow at Shepard's curious stare.

'Of course, Mr Moreau.'

'Can you bring up the log from the armoury the other night when Miranda went to talk to Jacob?'

'Yes, I also have the feed from the elevator if you wish to see that, and the feed from the two other attempts Chambers has made to get your attention. I also have the com logs between Miranda and Chambers.'

'Why are you eager to help, EDI?' Shepard frowned but Joker gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze.

'Because the outcome of this mission has a higher chance of success, and thus our survival, if you and Mr Moreau are together and Miranda is not in control.'

Shepard gaped at Joker who just smirked, 'told you.'

'EDI, can you send all this to my quarters please,' Shepard stood up and helped Joker to his feet. 'Why don't you get us to the Citadel while I shower, we can sort this out when you get off shift.' She paused for a moment, 'you might want to look miserable so Chambers thinks she was successful.'

'It won't be hard to be miserable around her, she gives me the creeps.' Joker pulled her close before she could walk away, wishing she wasn't still in her armour, 'I love you, please remember that.' He leaned in and kissed her and it was a relief to feel her respond.

'I love you too,' she brushed the side of his face and pulled him in for another kiss. 'Why can't we have something easy for a change,' she sighed as they parted.

'It wouldn't be a Shepard mission if it was easy,' Joker chuckled and she smirked at him. 'I'll go up first, can't be seen together if we're fighting.' He gave her a quick kiss and stepped into the elevator, the last thing he saw was her frown, she was already deep in thought and he wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of whatever she came up with.