The first few weeks since Levi arrived at Stohess for scholarship, he was having a little hard time to adapt. Also, being in a different country with eight hours different time zone was something that Eren and Levi need to get used to.
Two months was all it took to finally get a hang on their relationship. It was hard, but slowly, they were getting a grip at their long distance relationship thingy.
And now, Levi was staring at the time on his laptop screen while his fingers wiggling above the keyboard, doing nothing.
It was a lazy Sunday evening for Levi as he stayed inside his dorm room that he shared with a tall, blond guy named Farlan. And since morning, Levi did nothing but video called with Eren who was far, far away at Trost. Having a video call with each other all day long every weekend was now become their routine.
That was until Eren excused himself to take a quick morning shower because Levi told him so while they were video chatting earlier.
Tired of waiting, Levi turned around to grab a plush toy on his bed and stroked it lazily. The plush toy was a second year anniversary gift that he received from Eren, sent by a shipping mail. Unlike last year where Levi didn't gave Eren any special gift, this year Levi got something for Eren as a gift.
He remembered how embarrassed he felt when he sent his anniversary gift through an email. Yes, email. Because Levi's gift was something much different from Eren, he gave Eren a 15 minutes video of himself.
Levi was groaning as he hit the plush toy repeatedly and shook his head wildly remembering the video. That's when he heard a soft laugh on the other side of the screen where Eren already back on his spot, face looking fresh from the shower.
"Don't abuse the plushie that I gave you. If you don't like it, just give it back to me," Eren pointed at the plush toy, smirking.
"I'm not abusing the plushie! I love this thing, it's just so soft and somehow kinda squishy," Levi squeezed the plush toy playfully while looking at Eren on the screen with playful smirk.
After that, Levi wiggled his right hand in front of the camera so that Eren could see the bracelet on his wrist, "I love this bracelet too. And everything from you, I love them! And of course, I love you!" He said with somehow, manly tone.
"Aw, Levi!"
"But this plushie is special, because it's always helping me to sleep whenever I missed you at night."
Eren smiled mischievously at his camera, "Ah… The video that you gave me also helping me to sleep whenever I missed you at night, you know?" He licked his lips tentatively.
"Shut up!" Levi stared at him with wide eyes and face reddened from embarrassment.
"Aw, why? Is your roommate there?"
"Farlan? No, he went out with Isabel. He knows best to not disturb me on weekends," Levi smiled smugly at himself.
"Because on weekends we're having a long, long video call?"
"Mhm. And it's kinda pissing me off when we can't have our regular weekend video chat because of something like, assignments."
Eren gulped, "Um, speaking of assignments…"
"Yeah?"
"Uh, do you remember when I said I'm going to fly to Stohess on a long weekend this upcoming month?"
Levi paused for a moment. Somehow, he felt Eren was about to tell him something not good, as seen from Eren's expression. Levi took a deep breath and looked at the screen with a frown, "Yes, I do. Why?" He asked, trying to sound calm but the quiver on his voice didn't go unnoticed.
"Yeah, you know I'm not kidding about that, right? But…"
"But?"
"Midterm is coming soon in a few weeks and I need to prepare and catch up with everything, including my assignments."
"So, you can't come?"
"I'm sorry, Levi. I didn't know it would be like this."
"Then, what if I'm going there instead? I mean, I got my savings and—"
"Levi," Eren cut him off, "I know you wanted us to meet as soon as possible, but really, even if you're coming here at this kind of time, well…"
"Well?"
"I don't want to sound rude but it's just… going to waste your time, Levi. You know how stress and hectic my assignments before midterm and final semester. If you are coming here, I'm afraid that—"
"That I would be a distraction to you and you would have end up ignoring me because you're too focusing on your assignments. You're also going to have a lack of sleep and somehow forget to eat. Even if you have time, you would rather use it to sleep, eat, or even taking a shower. I understand that I'll only be a bother," Levi said breathlessly.
"That sounds a bit harsh. Levi, you are not going to be a distraction or even bothering me. But I need to focus, because, well, I'm kinda left behind on my study."
"Was it because you always taking your time to video call—"
"No!" Eren cut him off and leaned his face closer to the screen, "It has nothing to do with our weekend's routine. My study is just sucks, alright? It's getting harder every semester, but I know I still can do it. So don't ever think that my study has something to do with our weekly video calls."
"I'm sorry, Eren."
"Don't say that…"
"I love you," Levi said suddenly.
Eren was taken aback at first, but then his face softened and smiled, "I love you too, Levi. And I am really, really, sorry that I can't come to Stohess on holiday's season. I promise I'll make it up to you somehow."
"Just focus on your study for now," Levi flashed him a sad smile. He tried not to look sad, but he just can't control it.
"You too, alright? I know you have no problem with your study, but still, do your best!"
"Mmm," Was all that Levi could say. Levi was upset for not being able to meet with Eren soon, no matter how much he wanted to hide it from the tan young man.
"Levi…"
Levi took a deep breath to calm himself, "I'm okay, sorry, sorry. Heh!" He laughed it off and trying to smile so he didn't worry Eren. He took another breath and started to speak again, "So, let's talk about something, anything. Okay?"
"Okay," Eren said agreely.
And that's how they ended up talking about almost everything for the last six hours straight.
Eren talked about their parents who seemed to being well and still all lovey-dovey with each other since the last time Eren visit them on a weekend. He also talked about Mikasa that sometimes visit Eren at his part time job on a café. He didn't even forget to talk about Hanji who kept bothering Erwin and Mike on their apartment, and sometimes Hanji dragged Eren with her too.
He talked about everything that he could memorize. He even talked about little things like, the food that he recently ate or the new body soap with a really nice fruity smell that he just bought yesterday.
Levi listened to Eren's story with a big smile on his face and sometimes he laughed at the funny things from the story. When he already ran out a story, Levi who didn't used to speak much, started to tell Eren a little bit of his recent life at Stohess.
He talked about Isabel and Farlan, the person that Levi got closer with during his stay at Stohess. Isabel was a really cool person. Levi admitted that sometimes she reminded him of Eren, he even insisted that Eren and Isabel are a long lost brother and sister. And then there's Farlan, how Levi was glad that his dorm mate was Farlan because if it was someone else, Levi probably couldn't take it.
But then Levi said that Isabel and Farlan are getting annoying. Because since they knew about Eren and saw Eren's picture on Levi's desktop by accident, they kept telling Levi how they wanted to meet this Eren guy.
Upon hearing that, Eren grinned and he told Levi that he also wanted to know Isabel and Farlan. They ended up promised that the next time they video called with each other, Levi would introduced them, probably.
In the end, they ended their call because Eren insisted that Levi need to sleep –since it's already 3 am according to Levi's time zone— and because Levi had an early morning class at 8 am. After a little bit of arguing, with a heavy heart, Levi finally agreed to go to sleep and ended the video call with Eren.
Eren also reminded Levi about his midterm that would come soon, and during that time, he needed to concentrate more on his study and focus on finishing his pile of assignments and projects. So, Eren needed Levi to understand that on a weekend during midterm, he probably couldn't make a long video call just like they used to be. Eren then suggested that Levi also needed to focus on his own midterm. Levi surprisingly understood and accepted the fact.
After unending goodnight sayings and I love you's, they finally bid their goodbye and a promise that everything will be back to normal after midterm is over.
–
–
Approximately three weeks later, after both of Eren and Levi finally done with their midterm, they supposed to be back to normal. Like, video chatting every weekend, or even having a small little chat on weekdays, but no.
After the midterm was over, Eren had been busy with more projects and assignments. Who would have thought that Eren's third year study would be hectic and more stressful than before? Eren barely had time to have a decent conversation with Levi.
It seems like Eren can't manage his time during his third year because he needed to catch up on everything with his study if he wanted to pass this semester. It was hell. He barely ate and slept because of this. Somehow it was a miracle that Eren haven't going into breakdown yet.
Levi tried to understand Eren's situation, he really did. But how can he? Levi started to feel the distance between them, every time Levi tried to send Eren a small text or a little notice to invite him into a video call, Eren rarely answered, and even if he answered it, he would gave Levi a short reply or a polite rejection for a video call.
Levi was getting frustrated. It's been three weeks since their last video call which only took a short little time that didn't last more than 30 minutes.
At some point, Isabel and farlan tried to cheer him up from sulking in his room all weekend, but they only got a door slammed into their face as a reply.
On the other side, Eren was getting stressed out. Unending assignments, projects, presentations, and part time had caused him on lack of eating and sleeping, it made him easily snapped at almost everyone.
He really couldn't keep up with his study and his time management was a mess. It was such a bad semester for him.
Eren wished he could skip this semester and meet with Levi already.
–
–
One random midnight, Eren was working on his assignment for his Architectural Design class which was the backbone course for this semester. So, Eren really, really tried his best and hoped that he could pass the subject. Plus, the finals were going to come up soon in less than a month, which made everything double the stress, not to mention the pressure.
Then, he snapped out from his concentration as his laptop screen suddenly lit up, showing a chatting application that appeared to notify him that he got a video call invitation from Levi.
Eren sighed and straightened his back, staring at the screen. At first, he didn't feel like answering it. But, when was the last time they've been talking with each other? One week? Two weeks? Almost a month?
With another sigh that escaped from his nose, Eren clicked the answer button.
"Hey, Levi," Eren said with a tired little smile on his face.
"Eren…" Levi was surprised when Eren face showed up on his laptop screen.
To be honest, Levi thought Eren would be too busy to answer his call. And then later, usually Levi would get a text from Eren, apologizing for the unanswered or rejected call because he was being busy with assignment and such. After that, Eren would always, always promised to call Levi back later when he got time. But of course, much to Levi dismay, it was only an empty promise.
"Uh, how are you?" Eren asked while repositioned himself on his seat.
"Fine, you?" Levi bit his lower lips nervously.
"Tired, sleepy, but I'll live…" Eren shrugged.
"Don't push yourself too hard. Have you eaten anything for dinner?"
"Yeah…"
Silence.
Levi knew that he should be happy for being able to talk to Eren through video chat like this. But he couldn't hide the fact that this was the most awkward conversation that he had with Eren.
"You know, maybe you should take some rest for a moment," Levi suggested.
"Can't. I still haven't completed my design project, I still need to make the 3D design before I could hand it to my professor this late afternoon after class," Eren explained, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"But you look exhausted. Why don't you just—"
"Levi!" Eren cut him off. He snapped at Levi, making the silver-blue eyes widened in shock.
A moment after Eren snapped at Levi, he realized his mistake. He took a deep breath and looked at Levi with half-apologetic look and half-annoyed look, "I'm fine, okay? You don't understand my situation. I… I'll talk to you later okay? I just, I can't be bothered right now…"
"I. Am. A bother?!" Levi looked at Eren with grim look. Their position suddenly reversed, as it was now Levi turn to snap, and Eren looked at him with shock expression.
"Oh, Eren…" Levi laughed bitterly while looking away for a second before he faced the camera again, "I remember you said nothing will change. Well, the fact that we've been talking awkwardly towards each other is telling me that something already changed between us."
"Levi, I—"
"I miss you, really, really bad! I miss your silly little text, I miss our unending chat towards each other, I miss talking to you every whole weekend, and I miss everything we've been doing since I'm here at Stohess!"
"Le—"
Levi cut him off for a second time, "But then you're too busy with everything, midterm, assignments, everything. That's where it all started. We never keep in contact anymore, not like we used to be, you've been distance yourself with me. I mean, how can you be that busy? Am I asking too much from you? Am I really a bother?" His face was reddened from anger now.
It was silly, Levi was attacking Eren because of his selfishness of wanting to have a decent video chat with Eren, while Eren snapped at Levi because he irritated at Levi for keep nagging at him.
It was so, so silly. They were fighting over something that could be fixed with time management for Eren and being less demanding and not being too dramatic for Levi. But in the end, this was getting out of hand.
This was their very first fight and it made both of them uncomfortable. If only they were sitting there side by side, either Eren or Levi would make the first move to hug the other one and apologize. But they both know best that if they were there with each other, then this fight won't happen in the first place.
To be honest, Levi thought that the argument was caused by his own selfishness. He realized his assignment wasn't as hectic as Eren. Sometimes he went out with Isabel and Farlan when he had free time, he even got two part time jobs and he still could keep up with his study, or if he wanted to, he could just lazing around in his dorm room when he got time.
But Eren? It seemed like this semester was rough for him. Levi knew that the tan young man tried so hard to keep up with his study, maybe even too hard. Not to mention the unorganized time management that resulted with lack of sleep and barely eat, he even easily snapped.
After a quite long pause, Eren finally choose to break the silence between them, "Look, I'm sorry okay? I just, this major assignment really, really suck. I also need to prepare for finals. Everything just a mess," He sighed as he running is hair with his fingers in frustration.
Levi took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He looked down at his lap and mumbled, "But you promised…"
Eren almost couldn't catch what Levi had just said. But fortunately, he heard him clearly and looking at Levi with a sad, yet tiring look, "I'm sorry I can't keep my promise to contact you—"
"It's okay. I understand," Levi cut him off harshly. No, he actually didn't understand anything anymore.
Why were they fighting again? When did this started happen anyway?
Levi sighed and mumbled in an icy tone, "Just, just focus on your study. I won't be a bother anymore."
"Levi…"
"It's been hard for you, I get it okay? Just focus on whatever assignment that make you busy, yeah, no need to worry about me right here, it's not like you care anyway!" Levi sassed.
Eren looked at Levi, hurt could be seen in those beautiful green eyes by the harsh words that coming out from Levi's mouth all of the sudden. How could Levi, his lovely Levi that Eren adore and love so much, spoke to Eren like that?
Hurt turned into anger when Eren finally had enough, "Of course it's been hard for me! You know I'm struggling over here, and I know you knew that very well. But instead of trying to understand me, you just whined and sulked at me because I was being busy all the time."
"Well, excuse my poor little brain that needing to keep up with everything while you are doing well at your study, Levi! You don't even wanna know how I'm doing with my study, how was my assignments, and things like that!"
Eren took a deep breath and continued with teary eyes, "You speak as if everything is my fault. Fine then, it's my fault. I am too busy with my study, I can't keep contacting you, and I snapped at you. We lost our precious weekend video call time because I'm being too busy with everything. It. All. My. Fucking. Fault. And I am fucking sorry alright? It's not like I can help it, Levi!"
Eren now was panting hard, trying his best not to cry while Levi only sat there with shocked expression.
"Eren, I…" Levi was trying to say something, anything, but he seemed too shock by Eren's sudden outburst earlier so nothing was coming out from his mouth. He was afraid and scared because Eren was now mad at him.
Seeing Levi frozen on the spot and unable to speak, Eren took a calming breath and looked at Levi with a soft, yet defeated look, "Listen, I'd love to talk with you, alright? But Levi, we both in no condition to talk normally right now, if we keep this up, we only make everything worst. So, Levi, please… Let's just end this today, alright? I'm so sorry but I don't want to make it worst."
"And do you think by ending this conversation right here, right now, will make everything better?" Levi asked with rasping voice.
"It's not, I guess? But Levi, if we keep talking…" Eren shrugged and paused. He didn't know what to say. He looked at Levi with pleading look, "Levi, you know that I missed you very, very much. But as of right now, I don't know what to do, alright?"
Levi silently agreed. He missed Eren, but he also didn't know what to do since both of them didn't use to be in this situation.
Was it really the best way to end the conversation like this? Will this going to affect the relationship that they had? Did Levi really a bother for Eren?
If by ending the conversation was what Eren really wanted right now, to calm them down, then Levi can't do nothing but agreed. At least he needed to keep everything they had left without ruining it anymore by some other silly fight, right?
Levi reluctantly nodded, "We'll talk later…" He moved his hand weakly to press the end button.
"Levi, I love—"
Click.
Levi ended it without hearing Eren's last words.
"Stupid Eren," Levi mumbled as he got up and flopped down on his bed, face buried onto the pillow.
'Stupid Levi!' Levi who selfishly wanted to talk to Eren, no matter what happen and not caring on how busy Eren was with his assignments, silently blamed himself.
That night, he took more time than usual to sleep.
Meanwhile, on the other side, Eren could only sighed helplessly when Levi ended their conversation without hearing the last words that he wanted to say to Levi.
"I love you, Levi…" Eren mumbled tiredly and closed his laptop. He went to his bed slowly and immediately closed his eyes when his head finally met with the pillow after a long sleepless night.
'I guess I'm just going to sleep now. There's no use in continuing on my assignment like this,' Eren played with the bracelet on his wrist with his eyes closed, silently hoping that everything with Levi will be alright.
That night, he thought about Levi to sleep.
—
—
Chapter End Notes:
I wanted to say thank you for the people who still reading this story up until now. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea with all the fluff, ooc-ness, weird storyline, etc. So, I really never thought anyone would still following the story. But hey, turns out some people still do. Thank you guys! This story would probably end soon and I will miss writing this! c':
This chapter is un-beta-ed. Pardon for any mistakes~